


The Trauma Cafe

by MeBeThem4815



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Background Fjord/Jester - Freeform, Background Keyleth/Vax/Gilmore, Blowjobs, Bottom!Caleb, Breaking and Entering, Castration, Co-Sleeping, Coming Out, Cuddling, Cults, Dirty Talk, Discussion of Childbirth, Drinking Games, Drunken Confessions, First Time, Forced Marriages, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Kink Negotiation, Lingerie, M/M, Molly In Lingerie, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), PTSD, PTSD flashbacks, Panic Attacks, Parties, Phone Sex, Pining, Plane trips, Rating for later chapters, Self Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Severe PTSD, Sexual Abuse - Not Explicit, Sexual Trauma, Skype Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Stalking, Trauma, Underage Pregnancy, Virgin!Caleb, autistic caleb, autistic keyleth, background beau/yasha but im not gonna tag it with the ship bc that's fucking rude, brain washing, catholic molly, characters with chronic pain, coffee shop AU, drug usage, first smiles, girl time, handjobs, mentions of abuse, molly has depression folks, no sexual abuse tho don't worry, schizophrenic jester, tags will adjust, tags will change as plot develops, talk of abuse, touch-starved caleb, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-16 07:00:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 128,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14806572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeBeThem4815/pseuds/MeBeThem4815
Summary: There's a cafe that specializes in rehabilitating people with trauma. That cafe was home to Mollymauk Tealeaf. Now it's home to cult survivor Caleb Widogast.





	1. First Words

**Author's Note:**

> So heads up, this is gonna be dark as fuck. I am dealing with a lot of themes here. I am a survivor of childhood abuse of many kinds, and I am living with a diagnoses of PTSD. This story will have dark, heavy themes to it, so read at your own choice.

Molly slid across the counter and heard Beau grumble from the drive through. 

“You know it lifts up! I’ve seen you use it!” She called out. 

“Yeah but this is more fun!” He stuck his head around the corner and stuck his tongue out at her. She passed the customer his drink and subtly flipped Molly the finger. 

“Love you too, darling.” Molly shot her a wink. He slid into the back and saw Yasha, quietly working on the dishes. 

“Hello again.” She shot him a smile and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “We have a new one.” She jerked her head over her shoulder. 

“I know. That’s why I’m here.” Molly said. There was a slow, limping gait from behind and he turned to see Fjord holding out a drink. 

“Thank you Fjord.” Molly grinned. “You make it the best. What do you think of the new guy?” He asked, leaning against the skin. 

“He’s a quiet one.” Fjord said. The cowboy leaned against the rack with the coffee on it. “Doesn’t speak at all.” 

“He’s been a week now, and hasn’t said a word.” Yasha said softly. 

“Mutism?” Molly asked. He had been the same way, when he had arrived at the Trauma Cafe. 

“No. You had nightmares but you made no sound. When he has nightmares I can hear him through the walls.” Yasha said. 

“Oh boy does he make noise with those bad dreams.” Fjord ran his hand over his face. “He’s next door to me and I better learn German to keep up.” 

“German?” Molly asked. 

“Yes.” Yasha said softly. “He’s German, but the commune he was at was here. He’s an adult now, so he’s being held in the states.” 

“Well that’s a bitch and a half.” Molly muttered. “When’s his trial date set?” 

“No idea.” Yasha commented. She was elbow deep in soapy water, scrubbing syrup pumps and whip cream containers. 

“Jester won’t tell us.” Fjord said. “Mirian is playin’ this close to the chest, an’ Jester’s followin’ her mama’s lead.” 

“Makes sense. It’s all over the news.” Molly muttered. 

“Yes. The poor man’s the kind to like his privacy and he’s now the center of an international crime.” Yasha shook her shaggy head. 

“Well, best go do what I do best.” Molly said. 

“Be an annoying shit?” Beau asked. Her fake leg echoed through the back room and her dog tags rattled on her chest. 

“Naw, that’s your job.” Molly shot her a wink. Beau looked over her shoulder and clapped Fjord on the shoulder. 

“You got a customer.” She said. She opened her mouth and sighed, her headset blinking. “No rest for the wicked.” She said, then pushed the button. “Welcome to the Unicorn Queen Coffee Shop, what can I get for you today?” Her customer service was bright and chipper and it gave Molly the heebie-jeebies whenever he heard it. She vanished, taking the customer’s order. 

“How goes it with her?” He asked Yasha. He popped the lid from his drink and licked the whip cream off. 

“She’s getting better.” Yasha said. “She doesn’t jump at loud noises anymore.” 

“That’s good, but that’s not what I meant.” Molly shot his friend a smile. 

“Molly,” Yasha sighed. “I can’t just go and ask her out!” Yasha protested. 

“Why not?” Molly asked. 

“Not only is she my co-worker, but she’s still healing.” Yasha pointed out. 

“So are you.” Molly said. 

“That is beside the point, Molly.” Yasha said. “I will wait for her to make the first move.” 

“She’s the dumbest lesbian I have ever seen, Yasha.” Molly said. “You’ll die before she makes the first move.” 

“So be it.” Yasha said softly. 

“You are far more patient than I am.” Molly said. 

“I’ve found the one.” Yasha explained. “No more of this-” she poked the love bite on Molly’s collarbone, visible under his tanktop - “for me.” 

“Alright, alright, I get it, I’m a slut.” Molly said. 

“You just haven’t found the right person yet, Molly.” 

“And I doubt I will.” He said gently. He rapped his head with his knuckles. “Got a lotta baggage.” He muttered. 

“So do we all.” Yasha said gently. She cupped his cheek with a soapy hand and kissed his temple. “Go say hi. Remember Molly, he’s a fragile one.” She bumped him with her hip and he shook his head. 

“I will. I promise.” He bumped her with his own hip and headed down deeper into the back. The back door was propped open and that meant people were on the back patio, enjoying the Los Angeles sunshine. Molly opened the door and saw two people sitting on the back table that was for employees only. 

There was Nott, with her coffee at her elbow and her food just like he remembered. The woman was small, despite her age, and her black hair was graying at the temples a bit, sharing a table with a man who had his back to Molly. She looked up at Molly and smiled at him. 

“I heard we had a new soul.” Molly said with a grin. 

“We do. Molly, this is Caleb. Caleb, this is Molly. He used to work here.” She said. The man turned and looked at Molly. 

He was thin and scared, looking at a point beyond Molly’s eyes. His red hair was lank and hung in his face and his beard needed a trim. The man looked like he needed five meals and a month of naps. Molly knew that face. That face was the one plastered all over the news. 

“It’s good to meet you Caleb. My name’s Mollymuak, but Molly to my friends.” Molly said. “May I join you?” He asked. Caleb glanced to Nott, not saying anything. 

“It’s alright. He used to work here. He gets it.” Nott said. Caleb glanced back to Molly and didn’t say anything. Quickly, as if he was scared of the results, Caleb shrugged a bony shoulder. 

“Thank you Caleb.” Molly said. He sat down at the edge of the table and lit up a smoke. 

“Are you liking it here? I know it can be a bit much, but once you get used to it you’ll like it here.” Molly said. Caleb didn’t answer his question. He fiddled the muffin, picking the blueberries out of it. 

“The blueberry one’s good, but you gotta try the cinnamon babka.” Molly said. “I don’t know what she puts in it, but Jester does something to it do make it amazing.” 

Caleb glanced up at Molly again and Molly tiled his head, smiling at the other man. 

“Yasha says you’re not talking yet.” He said. “That’s okay. It took me three months to start speaking fully. I only said one word when I showed up.” Caleb ran his eyes over Molly’s face. 

“I’ll ask you yes and no questions and you can shake or nod your head, how about that?” Molly asked. Tiny, gently, Caleb nodded. Molly smiled gently. 

“Do you like it here?” He asked Caleb. He nodded softly. 

“Is there something you’d like? Like a hobby set or something?” Molly asked. Caleb nodded again. 

“Okay, let me guess…” Molly straddled the bench and took a hit. “A chess set?” 

Caleb shook his head. 

“Hm…..” Molly said. “Knitting stuff? Yasha can knit, you know.” 

Caleb shook his head. He was bigger with his gestures. 

“Plants?” 

Caleb made a face this time. 

“Yeah I have a black thumb myself.” Molly admitted. He took a sip of his drink. 

“Books?” 

Caleb nodded, eyes going wide. 

“Can you read in English? I know you’re German and you obviously know English when it’s spoke. But can you read it?” Molly asked. Caleb nodded. 

“Good good. Now we know what you like.” Molly said. “Do you have a library card?” He asked. Caleb shook his head. 

“Well, we’ll have to fix that.” He shot Caleb a wide smile and the other man ducked, hiding under his hair again. Molly locked eyes with Nott and they shared a look. 

 

It was going to take a while to get Caleb anywhere near functioning, clearly. 

“Caleb! Are you back here!” Jester’s voice echoed through the back room and the door opened. “Molly!” 

“Jester! Darling!” He flung open his arms wide as Jester hugged him. She was big and soft and always smelled like sugar and frosting and he adored her. She pulled back, beaming at him. 

“I’ve missed you Molly!” Her crop top had a cartoon unicorn on it and her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and her cheekbones were dusted with freckles and there were stretch marks on her hips and flour on her knuckles and he loved her. 

“I missed you too darling.” He said. He really had missed her. 

“Oh Caleb!” Jester said. “I see you’ve met Molly!” Caleb glanced up at Jester, eyes wide. He nodded softly. 

“I know Molly can be a bit much, but he’s really really nice. He used to be here you know! He used to work for a carnival, and there was like, this big accident, and he got in hit in the head with something and ended up loosing like all of his memories and he came here to work for my mom while he recovered!” She said. Molly parted his hair to show the gnarly scalp scar. Caleb made a face and Molly swore he heard a noise. 

“It was bad.” Molly said. “Like I said, I didn’t talk when I first got here.” 

“Caleb, I have something for you!” Jester beamed. “Here!” She held out an envelope. “I know you don’t have a social security number yet, so your first week’s wages are all in cash!” 

Caleb looked at the envelope like it was a ticking bomb. He looked to Jester and shook his head. 

“Caleb, you need to be paid. You work hard. The back room is looking better than ever and the books have never been neater.” Jester said softly. She sat in Molly’s lap and he put his head on her shoulder. 

“You deserved to be paid for the work you do.” Jester said softly. Caleb shook head, backing up a bit. 

“Caleb, there are no strings with this.” Jester said. “It’s honest pay for honest work.” 

Caleb bolted. He scrambled off the bench and flung up the door and Molly heard him thumping up the steps to the dorms. 

“Fuck!” Jester pouted, moving from Molly’s lap to sit on the bench. 

“Give him time, Jester.” Nott said softly. 

“Was it like the news says?” Molly asked. “Was it a cult?” 

“Full on dooms-day prepper.” Nott said with a nod. “There’s a lot that hasn’t come out into the news yet. There was…well…” She took a breath. 

“I think he was tortured.” She said flat out. Molly felt his eyes grow wide. 

“They found underground cells, with handcuffs hanging from the ceilings. Inside there were all sorts of things, like fire hoses and shit.” Nott said. “I think he was taught not to speak because if he does he’ll get hurt.” 

“Oh God that’s horrible.” Molly said. 

“Yeah. There’s more. It’s not my place to tell you. But there’s more.” Nott sighed, scratching at her scalp. “It’s a grade a shit show, you guys.” She said. “This was the first time he’s communicated to someone other than me, so there’s that.” 

“I’ll drop by more often, then.” Molly said. 

“I’ll take his money. Maybe he’ll listen to me.” Nott said. Jester slid over the envelope. Molly sighed, his head falling back. He opened his eyes and saw Caleb looking at them from his window. He shot Caleb a tiny smile and waved at him. He jerked the curtains back and pulled away from the window. 

Caleb pressed himself to the wall, trying to calm his racing heart. He wasn’t used to this place. Everyone was so nice to him. Yasha was firm and quiet and gentle in her strength, Fjord smiled at him and didn’t mind it when Caleb clung to the walls like a spider. Nott had taken him under her wing and was treating him like a mother. Jester had been very kind, even going to far as to learn how to make German pastries that Caleb hadn’t had since he was a child. Even Beau, in her own gruff way, was nice to him. She didn’t treat him a child, or like he was broken. 

Even though he was. 

This new man, Molly, was of the same mold. He was kind to Caleb, even going so far as to ask him questions in a way that Caleb was used to. He wasn’t used to be being to voice his opinions, but the fact that Molly was asking him questions at all meant something. 

He was used to being told what to do. He was used to being told what to do and obeying or he was hit. He was used to that. He was used to the quiet desperation that hung on the Compound like a scarf. He could still hear The Ikathon’s words as he shut his eyes. 

“There is a storm coming, Jacob. You have to be prepared.” 

He had been called Jacob for nearly eighteen years. For eighteen years, Caleb had his identity pulled away. By the end of the third week, when he had been allowed out of the cage he had been in, he was weak with hunger and dirty and would have done anything they had asked to be allowed to eat real food. 

In the end, he had nearly forgotten who he was. The first time he had been called Caleb, he hadn’t responded. It had taken two weeks for him to reply to his given name. He took a shaky breath and ran his hands through his hair. 

He hadn’t been given permission to shower yet, so it was greasy and lank. He curled up on the bed, taking up the smallest space possible. 

He had a whole room and a whole bed to himself. It seemed a bit excessive to him, to be honest. He wasn’t used to having a room to himself, let alone a bed. He was a bit scared to stretch out and enjoy it; he was terrified that this was all a trap. That one day, when he was comfortable and enjoying himself, someone would hurt him. Someone would tell him he’s not allowed, and he’d be thrown into a cell. Caleb shut his at the memories of the cells. 

He had only been in there twice, but God that was twice too many. He was a very lucky person, only having been down there twice. There was a girl that had been given to him, Lucy, he remembered her to this day. She had been a tiny slip of a thing, but full of fight. She had refused to do what The Ikathon had told her, so she was down in the cells every other week. 

He could still see her, tied to the post in the center of the Compound, back flogged and bloody, her flesh hanging off in strips, as the flies swarmed her back. 

She survived, but she was back down in the cells the next month. Caleb pressed his head to his knees, hearing steps on the stairs. It was Nott’s light tread. There was a knock on his door. 

“Caleb?” She called out. “May I come in?” 

That was a trick. She would come in anyway. Ikathon always did. Caleb stood and opened the door, even though he wanted to be alone. He couldn’t refuse; he’d be hurt if he refused. He opened the door and hid behind it, blinking at her. 

“Thank you Caleb.” Nott took a few steps in. “Now, I don’t know why you’re refusing your wages, but it’s illegal to work people without pay.” She said. “You’ve worked hard here, and you deserve to be paid.” 

Caleb shook his head. 

“You do.” Nott said. “That back room is neater than I ever seen it. You have a talent for putting things away and keeping things organized.” 

Caleb shook his head again. He couldn’t take the money. He couldn’t touch the money. Money was the root of evil, the root of corruption, if he touched it he would be evil and corrupt too. 

And Caleb wanted to be good. 

He shook his head and took a step back. 

“I’m not going to let Jester break the law, Caleb.” Nott said gently. “I’ll leave it on the desk for you then, alright?” She took a few steps into his room and laid the envelope on the desk. 

“Now, you can do what you like with it, but you will be getting paid every week.” Nott took a step back into the door frame. 

“Is there anything else you need Caleb?” Nott asked. “Molly mentioned books.” 

He would like books. He had liked reading, before. He didn’t shake his head so quickly, hesitating a bit. He shook his head gently, knowing he couldn’t ask. If he asked for things he was being greedy and covetous. He needed to accept what they gave him and not ask for more. 

“Are you sure?” Nott asked. 

Caleb nodded. 

“You know, I think you’re lying to me.” She said gently. Caleb shook his head, curling in on himself. He wasn’t lying to her, he couldn’t ask for things, God if she thought he was lying he would get hurt, he could feel the switch coming down on his back, The Ikathon’s breath hot in his ear, the gag in his mouth to prevent him from crying out. 

“You know, it’s okay to ask for things.” Nott said gently. She reached out and stopped herself before she could touch him. “You can ask for things here, and nobody’s going to hurt you. Wanting things is human nature.” 

Caleb shook his head, stepping closer to the wall. He resisted the urge to kneel and bend his head in supplication. 

“Alright then Caleb. If it’s alright with you, I’ll leave some books here on the step I think you’ll like.” Nott said. “Something with a good story, to take you away for a bit, I think.” She said with a small smile. 

Caleb dithered. 

She wanted to do this for him, but it felt like a trap. The Ikathon had done this to him, before. Offering him things he wanted and then punishing Caleb for wanting them. Wanting things is what would bring about the End Times, according to The Ikathon. He settled for a tiny, noncommittal shrug. 

“Okay. Good.” Nott said with a smile. “I’ll be leaving you now. Thank you letting me in, Caleb.” She shot him a wide, toothy smile and left. 

Caleb shut the door softly and moved. He moved his body out of line of sight of the crack in the door. He knew better than to drop to the ground to see under it; they can see you right back. He opened his mouth to breathe so his nose wouldn’t whistle as he listened. He listened as Nott vanished. He heard nothing, but that didn’t mean anything. 

Sure enough, not five minutes later, she was back. She rested something at the base of his door and left. 

Caleb counted his heartbeats. He had learned that at on hundred and thirty beats, they were gone. It had never failed him. Sure enough, he cracked open the door at one thirty and the hall was empty. He snagged the books and shut the door gently. 

He clutched them to his chest, the corners of his lips tugging up in a tiny smile. He quickly clapped his hand over his mouth; smiling showed free will and free will wasn’t allowed. He hurried over to his bed and cradled the books. He put them gently aside before opening the first and sticking his face in the pages and breathing in deep. 

The smell of the ink and paper and glue and dust wafted over him and he felt the tension bleed from his shoulders. 

Oh he had missed this. He had missed the feeling of the paperbacks in his hand, of the smell rising from the pages, of the paper under his finger tips. He felt himself smiling and really didn’t care. Not here, not right now. He settled back onto his pillows and began to read. 

Caleb didn’t notice the sun was setting, so absorbed was he in the story of a not-so-bad demon and a not-so-good angel and the missing Antichrist that he didn’t notice it was growing dark until he was squinting at the page. He reached for the light on instinct and then blinked. He jumped off the bed, knowing he only had a little bit of time to do what he needed to do. 

Molly had done his usual Friday routine. He helped his friends close up shop and then joined them on the roof to get high and eat left over pastries. Fjord and Beau got high to manage pain for the missing limbs. Yasha got high to keep her anxiety at bay. Molly high because it was fun. 

He was sobering up, with the taste of jam on his tongue and his stomach uncomfortably full. That was the worst bit about getting high; he got the munchies like fucking mad. 

“Alright, I’m headed home.” He kissed Yasha and Jester on the cheek, clapped Fjord’s shoulder, ruffled Nott’s hair and gave Beau the finger. She gave him one back as he descended the steps. He almost left the building before deciding that a cup of tea on the way home would be nice. It was a quick thing to make, and wouldn’t ruin his friend’s close. He was digging the tea bag out of the plastic when he heard soft sounds from the back. He paused, and then heard it again. 

The rustling of cardboard, and a soft noise of a person that he didn’t know. Molly turned. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone had tried to rob them. Usually it was people from other parts of LA. The people around their little section knew the good that the cafe did, and protected it fiercely. Molly grabbed his keys and slipped his fingers through a keychain. It was made to look like a kitty face, with the ears standing in as a sharp weapon. He quietly put his cup down and stalked into the back room. 

In the back there was a box that was full of flattened boxes, tucked away to be recycled tomorrow. And rooting around in it, a dirty towel under his arm, was Caleb. Molly could hear him muttering softly under his breath, but the words were too soft for Molly to make them out. He rifling through the boxes, looking for something. 

“Did you drop something, Caleb?” Molly asked softly. Caleb froze like a deer in the headlights, looking at Molly. His big blue eyes were so wide with fear that Molly could see the whites around them. 

Caleb dropped to his knees, head bowed, hands palm-up on his thigh, trembling with fear. 

He had been caught stealing. 

He had been caught stealing. 

He was going to be hurt. 

He was going to be punished now. He felt tears prick his eyes as terror suffocated him. Oh God, he was so stupid, he was sure the front had been empty, why hadn’t he checked, he was so fucked. He shut his eyes, praying the tears wouldn’t fall, as he waited for Molly to hit him. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” Molly dropped to his knees in front of Caleb. “If you want a box you take it. They’re just gonna get thrown out anyway.” 

Caleb still didn’t move, terrified. 

“Hey, how about this one?” Molly grabbed a box and folded it open. “Nice and medium sized. No stains or tears. No dicks on it either. Should hold your stuff just fine.” 

At Molly’s words Caleb opened his eyes and risked glancing at Molly. 

The man’s beautiful was split into a soft smile, his gray eyes hopeful. Caleb couldn’t take his eyes from his pale purple hair or the metal in his face or the tattoos on his cheeks. Those had been forbidden in the Compound. Caleb swallowed and glanced to the box. 

He opened his mouth slowly to speak and then decided against it. 

Caleb shook his head. 

“It’s not for you? Who is it for, then?” Molly asked gently. He wanted to know who this box was for. 

“Go on. You can take. It’s just a box. There’s hundreds more here.” Molly said, offering the box. Caleb’s hand was visibly shaking as he reached out. He swallowed and Molly saw his jaw tense as he touched the box. 

He waited, as if he expected Molly to snap at him, or hurt him, or take the box away. Molly did nothing, just knelt there on concrete floor, knees aching. 

Caleb slowly took the box. He rose to his feet and headed out the back door. 

“Caleb, can I join you?” Molly asked. Caleb looked over his shoulder to Molly, head tilted. He nodded softly and Molly rose, smiling. 

The man did have a pretty smile, Caleb mused. He felt guilt wrack his form at once. He shouldn’t have those thoughts about other men. They were wrong. No children came from those kinds of unions, and that’s what sex was supposed to do; give children. Caleb averted his gaze and sat on the back step. He put the box on the ground and tucked the towel into it, before pulling out a can of tuna. 

He made a whistle and a kissy noise and cracked open the can. 

Molly watched this as he lit up a smoke and then, softly, from the dark alleyway, there was a chirruping noise. A tabby cat trotted up to Caleb, meowing the whole time. It was a scrappy cat, with notches in it’s ears and scabs on it’s nose and Molly could see it’s ribs, but it purred loudly enough for Molly to hear as it wound about Caleb’s shins before settling in to eat the tuna. 

“You have a cat.” Molly said with a smile. Caleb looked up at him and made a little shrug. 

“You’ve adopted a cat, then.” Molly said. “May I sit with you?” He asked. He knew the importance of boundaries. Caleb nodded and Molly sat on the other side of the step. 

“He’s a skinny thing.” Molly muttered. He reached out and the tabby lifted his head from the tuna to sniff along Molly’s fingers. “Have you named him yet?” 

Caleb nodded. 

“What’s his name?” Molly asked. 

Caleb glanced up to Molly and then to the cat. He had been so quiet for so long that he had to remember how to speak. He cleared his throat once. 

“Frumpkin.” Caleb said gently. “His name is Frumpkin.” 

Caleb’s voice was rusty and quiet, like an old squeeze toy with a bad squeaker. It was heavily accented with German and Molly felt a wide grin split his face. It was a good voice, and he wanted to make Caleb talk more, and he wanted to make Caleb laugh. God knows the man could use a laugh. 

“Frumpkin.” Molly said, running his hand down the cat’s spine. He lounged on the step, elbows on the concrete as he stretched his long legs out. 

“Ja.” Caleb said softly, then blanched. He ran his hand over his mouth. “Sorry. English only, I know.” 

Molly turned to Caleb. 

“You can speak German if you like. You won’t get in trouble for that here.” Molly said gently. 

Caleb shook his head. “Not allowed.” He spoke gently. It was odd, speaking again after so much time spent in silence. 

“You will not…” He spoke slowly. His throat was already hurting. “You will take him from me?” He asked, scared. He glanced to Molly who looked at him shock. 

“God, of course not, no Caleb I won’t.” Molly rose to a sitting position and looked at Caleb. “Nobody else will either.” He said. 

A knot of tension slowly started to unwind in Caleb’s chest. Frumpkin licked the tuna can clean and started washing his face. 

“Thank you, Mollymauk.” He said gently. 

“Please, call me Molly.” The other man said with a grin. Caleb blinked at him a few times before reaching out and running a hand along Molly’s hair. 

“I like bright colors.” Molly said. 

“I have never seen this.” Caleb confessed. 

“Nobody where you came from had hair like mine?” 

“No. It was forbidden.” Caleb said. 

“By who?” Molly asked. 

“The Ikathon.” Caleb said simply, as if that answered all the questions Molly had. 

Molly wanted to ask more questions about where Caleb had come from, but he didn’t want to push too hard too soon. Caleb was just starting to speak and he didn’t want to frighten him back into silence. 

“Things must be different for you.” Molly mused. 

Caleb nodded. “Less guns, for one.” He had yet to see a single gun. At the Compound they were everywhere. On hips and in hands and on tables and on walls and on the backs of the trucks. Here had yet to see a single gun. Fjord talked about them, sometimes with Beau, where Caleb could hear. He hadn’t been the best shot at the Compound, but he had been the quickest to break down and reassemble them. His mind was quick with puzzles. 

“What do you mean?” Molly asked softly. He shifted, crossing his legs and slouching a bit.

“No guns.” He gestured. “There were lots of them, in…the Compound.” He had almost called the place ‘home’. 

“Why?” Molly asked. “Literally, why?” He had never fired a gun in his life. Beau had wanted to take him shooting before he had put his foot down. He had no intention of ever handling a gun. Ever. 

“Protection.” Caleb said with a shrug. “There were wolves and bears and mountain lions and sometimes drug smugglers.” He explained. 

“Darling, where were you where you had to deal with wolves?” Molly turned to Caleb, eyes wide. “I’ve never seen a wolf.” 

“They are not that bad. Really. You hear them before you see them. It’s the cats you have be careful of. They sneak.” Caleb reached out and ran a finger down Frumpkin’s spine. “And I cannot say.” 

“Why not?” Molly asked. 

“The government. The…ah…what is the people…” Caleb snapped his fingers in irritation. “The people with the letters for their name?” 

“The C.I.A?” 

“No, the other one.”

“The F.B.I?” 

“Ja - sorry - yes.” Caleb said. “They said I cannot speak of the location.” 

“Why are you working with the F.B.I?” Molly asked. 

Caleb just shook his head. His throat was hurting and found himself rubbing at it. 

“Your throat hurt?” Molly asked. Caleb nodded. 

“I am not used to talking much.” He confessed. 

“Hold on. I’ll be right back.” Molly stood, his bones creaking and vanished back into the cafe. Caleb heard Molly puttering about and resisted the urge to see what was going on. He wasn’t used to the idea of men in places like the kitchen and the laundry room. Those were the domains of the women back at the Compound. He had only been allowed in the women’s quarters under strict supervision, and only when a birth had gone wrong or someone was ill and none of the women knew quite what to do. 

He felt Frumpkin tread on his thigh lightly and curl up into his lap. He scratched the cat behind his ear and Frumpkin purred, and started kneading the meat of Caleb’s thigh. Caleb heard the door open and Molly joined him again on the patio, but this time he had two paper cups in his hands. He held one out to Caleb. Caleb just glanced at it, then up to Molly’s face. 

“Go on.” Molly urged gently. “I made it for you.”

Caleb gently reached out and took the cup, his fingers brushing the back of Molly’s hand. He sniffed it gently and then took a tiny sip. 

It was warm and tasted of honey and mint and lemon and it soothed the ache in Caleb’s throat. He took a slightly larger sip, knowing he was now in Molly’s debt at least once. 

“This is good.” He said gently. 

“I’m glad you like it.” Molly said. “Hey, can I see you again tomorrow?” He asked. 

“Why?” Caleb asked, suddenly suspicious. 

“I want to make sure you get on well here.” Molly said. “I’m not stalking you or anything I promise. I like you. I want you to be happy here.” 

Caleb snorted. He would have laughed at that, had he been capable of laughter. It had been beaten out of him, over the years. 

“I do not think I am able to be happy, anymore.” He said gently. He took another sip and Frumpkin licked his knuckles before crawling off his lap and into the box. He curled into a ball and started to doze. 

“Well, you can always re-learn.” Molly said gently. “I know when I first showed up I was….well…I was terrified.” He laughed. “I didn’t say a thing for a good long while. The only word I said was ‘empty’.” 

He still had nightmares about waking up empty, about waking up in a hospital room, the smell of bleach deep in his nose, tube in his throat, unable to read or speak or move, not knowing who he was or where he was at. He hated those nights. He hated it. 

“I found my voice here. It seems you have too.” Molly said with a tiny smile. “I found happiness here. I found a family. Maybe you can, too.” He beamed at Caleb. “I’m heading home. Don’t stay out here too long. It gets cold at night.” 

Caleb knew an order when he heard it. 

“Yes.” He said. He watched Molly rise to his feet. “Drive safely, Mollymauk.” 

“Sleep well Caleb.”

“Mollymauk….I would like to see you again, tomorrow. If possible.” Caleb confessed. He saw Molly smile that crooked grin of his and Caleb felt sudden warmth blooming in his chest. 

“I’ll be here.” Molly said. He vanished down the alley to the parking lot. Caleb watched him vanish into the dark, frowning at himself. 

Oh dear. This wasn’t good. Not good at all.


	2. Of Beards and Bargains

Molly backed his car into the alley, cackling to himself the whole time. He had quite a few gifts in the back of his car for Caleb. Well, more accurately for Frumpkin. He had gone to the pet store and had gotten so many things to make the cat happy and warm and safe, and he was fully planning on talking Jester into letting Caleb keep the cat. 

With Caleb’s permission, of course. 

Molly hadn’t gotten over the fact that Caleb had chosen to speak to him for his first words in his new life. Molly was honored by that, and he was determined to keep Caleb safe and help him grow into the happy, healthy man that Molly knew he could be. 

He parked his car and popped his trunk before using the sun roof to climb out of the car. The alley was a bit of a tight squeeze for the doors. He slid down the car and knocked on the back door of the cafe before letting himself in. 

There was Caleb, elbow deep in the sink. Molly heard the distinctive sound of the whip cream canisters being emptied and watched as Caleb stacked the empty ones on the edge of the sink before plunging his hands into the whip cream. He saw Caleb’s shoulders work as he ran his hands through the whip. Caleb must have liked the texture on his skin, Molly mused. Caleb’s shoulders bled tension as Molly watched him play about in the whip cream. He knocked on the back door and Caleb turned around. His big blue eyes were wide and his shoulders were tense once again. 

“Hey there. Didn’t mean to startle you, darling.” Molly shot Caleb a wink. Caleb blushed and ducked his head. 

“Hey, once you’re done there I got something for you you might like.” Molly jerked his head to his car. 

Caleb glanced around, peeking his head around the corner to the front of the house. The lunch rush was winding down, and the others weren’t really paying attention to him in the back. They were fully stocked up with everything they could need and Caleb could slip away for a bit. He rinsed his hands in the sink and then realized what had happened. 

Molly had caught him running his hands through the whip cream like a child. He was fully expecting Molly to start berating him as he followed the other man out into the sun. He hunched his shoulders as if his body language could protect him from the harsh words he knew were coming. 

“So, I took a bit of liberty here and I got you some stuff.” Molly said, leading Caleb to a beaten up purple car. Molly pulled open the trunk and smiled at Caleb. 

“Well, for Frumpkin, really.” He said, gesturing to the things in the trunk. 

Inside was everything that an indoor cat might need; bowls and food and litter and a box and toys and a little widow ledge seat for Frumpkin to sit on and a collar with a little bell and a box that had a picture of a scratching post on it and Caleb’s heart starting hammering with fear. 

This was expensive. This was large. This was a big thing, and big things like this came with big prices. He clenched his hands into fists to keep them from shaking and he backed up, shaking his head. 

“I cannot take this.” He said gently. 

“Caleb, darling, what’s wrong?” Molly asked. “They’re gifts. For your cat. We can talk to Jester and bring him inside and he can be warm and happy with you.” There was concern and worry in his voice and Caleb wasn’t sure if it was sincere or not. 

“Gifts…gifts are dangerous.” Caleb said gently. “They come with a price.” He was on the verge of panicking; he could taste it in his throat. 

“Caleb, darling, if a gift has a price attached to it it wasn’t a gift at all.” Molly spoke softly. Caleb glanced up to Molly’s face at his words. “Gifts don’t have prices. They come from the heart, they come from a desire to see people happy.” 

Caleb’s panic started to fade as Molly spoke. Could Molly really believe that? Could this strange man really think that gifts don’t come with strings attached? 

“Why?” Caleb asked, unable to comprehend the idea of someone just giving something without a motive. 

“Because I want to see you happy.” Molly said. “Is that a crime?” He smiled at Caleb gently. Caleb folded his arms across his stomach and glanced up at Molly. 

Their was distrust and suspicion in his big blue eyes and it broke Molly’s heart. What had happened to Caleb to cause him to look at gifts in such a manner? 

“This is….just because you want me to be happy?” He asked, speaking slowly. It was as if the concept of happiness was a foreign one to him. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “Frumpkin is obviously important to you, and he’s helping you heal. I want to see you happy and healthy, Caleb.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I like you.” Molly said. He saw a lot of his past self in Caleb, and it hurt him to see Caleb so fragile. 

“Why?” Caleb asked again. Molly just shrugged a shoulder. 

“I don’t know. I just do.” He grinned. He leaned against the back of his car and watched as Caleb slowly stepped closer. “I haven’t talked to anyone yet, but if you like I can help you carry this up to your room and then you can talk to Jester.” 

Caleb ran his hands over the stuff, pulling out boxes of flea and tick medication and toys and little bags of catnip and a feather on a string. 

“Not alone.” Caleb said softly. 

“I can be with, if you like.” Molly offered. Caleb glanced over to Molly. 

The purple haired man was watching Caleb with bright gray eyes. There was something in the center of Caleb’s chest that was tugging at his heart, tugging him toward Molly. He had felt this once before, at the Compound, with another man. He hadn’t done anything about it, simply because it was forbidden. It was wrong and disgusting and the fact that Caleb felt that same little tug in his chest and a protective warmth unfurling in his stomach worried him a bit. 

He knew he should be distancing himself from Molly, he should be keeping the other man at arm’s length so keep himself from giving in to his desires. He always had been weak, and the Ikathon had punished him accordingly. He couldn’t face Jester alone, though. Molly’s presence was a bit much and soothing at the same time. If people were staring at Molly and his peacocking, flamboyant self, they wouldn’t be staring at dull, drab, frightened Caleb. Molly was bright and loud and demanding yes, but there was something sincere under all of it. Caleb found himself wanting to trust Molly more. 

“I’d like that.” Caleb confessed. 

Caleb watched as Molly broke out into a massive smile. Molly’s smile warmed something deep in his chest and Caleb felt his heart flop about. He wanted to make Molly smile like that more. 

“Wonderful.” Molly beamed at Caleb and Caleb couldn’t help the blush that spread over his cheeks and he ducked his head to hide behind his dirty hair. 

“No need to hide from me, darling.” Molly’s voice was gentle and he heard the other man shift. Molly face came into view, smiling softly at him. Caleb felt the start of a smile tug at his lips and he bit them to keep from smiling. 

Smiling was an act of free will and free will got you punished. Free will got you in the cells. 

“You know, I bet you’re handsome under the dirt.” Molly mused aloud. Caleb shook his head gently. 

“No? You don’t think you are?” Molly asked. “Why not?” 

“I…” Caleb opened his mouth and tried to find a way to explain his thought process. “That is vanity talking.” He decided on. 

“What’s wrong with a little vanity?” Molly challenged gently. “I know I’m pretty. I know people like looking at me and I like them looking at me.” 

“You are also handsome.” Caleb spoke without thinking. He then realized what he had said, and his stomach churned. He pressed his knuckles to his mouth to and turned away from Molly so the other man wouldn’t see Caleb struggling to keep his emotions from his face. 

“You think I’m handsome?” Molly asked. “Thank you Caleb.” He could see that Caleb was fighting some kind of internal demon over this and he was very concerned. He wanted to reach out and touch Caleb, to let him know it’s alright, to be a grounding presence in Caleb’s life. 

He wanted to be there for Caleb, to help him smile and laugh and heal. He bet Caleb had a beautiful smile. 

“Caleb?” Nott’s voice called out and Caleb turned around, eyes wide. 

“Oh, there you are!” Jester called out, skipping down the steps. “Hello again Molly! What did you bring us today?” She asked, beaming at him. 

“Hello beautiful.” Molly bent and kissed Jester’s cheek gently. Caleb averted his gaze at the display of intimacy. He wasn’t used to seeing people kissing everywhere he looked. 

“Caleb, now?” Molly asked, glancing to him. 

“Jester…” Caleb said gently. Jester gasped and Nott’s eyes went wide. “I….I found a cat.” He said softly. “His name is Frumpkin.” 

“He’s really sweet.” Molly said. “I met him last night.” 

“May I….” Caleb started to shake gently. He wasn’t used to asking for things. He was used to getting whatever the Ikathon decided he was worth. “May I…..” His throat closed up with panic. 

“Caleb, take your time.” Jester said softly. He glanced to the chubby girl and found that her cheerful presence was calming. She was so enthusiastic about living life and so determined to see the best in everyone that Caleb found himself humbled by it. 

“May I keep him?” He finally asked. He was terrified about what he just done. This was the first time in over a decade he had asked for anything, and he didn’t know what to expect, and that terrified him the most. 

“Of course you can!” Jester beamed. “What kind of cat is he Caleb? Can I see him? Is he here?” Caleb blinked at her words and glanced to Molly. The other man was grinning at Caleb, something like pride on his face. 

“He comes and goes.” Caleb said softly. 

“Oh of course! He’ll have to be an indoor cat, now! To keep him safe! And we can take him to the vet! Vex has a very good one for Trinket.” Jester nodded. “Do you want to take him?” 

“Caleb, can you even drive?” Molly asked. 

“I was too young when I was taken and I was not given the privilege of driving at the Compound.” Caleb explained. There was silence around them as the others stared at him. Caleb squirmed uncomfortably under their gazes. Every once in a while he did something that made the others stop and stare at him, and now that he was speaking it was going to get worse. 

“I can take you.” Molly offered. Caleb glanced to Molly, eyes wide. “I can take you two, and then we can In-n-Out after.” 

“In-n-Out?” Caleb asked, confused. 

“Only the best burger place on the planet.” Jester beamed. 

“I have had cheeseburgers before.” Caleb said. “They were reserved for weddings.” 

“Did you have many of those?” Nott asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb said gently. “At least one a month. More during summer when there was more food.” More food meant the women would eat more which means they would start their period, which means they would be married off. Caleb had helped more than one woman hide evidence of her bleeding, and smuggle her little silicon cups that frankly confused him but helped her. Hiding the evidence of the fact they could bear children kept them in the unmarried women’s quarters for a little longer. 

“We had managed to kill a boar for my wedding.” Caleb said softly. It had been the best part of the thing, if he was telling the truth. 

“You have a wife?” Molly asked, shocked. He felt terrible, considering he had been about to flirt with a married man. He may have been a slut, but he didn’t fool around with married people. 

“It’s not like…what you all think.” Caleb’s voice was growing hoarse from speaking. “We never wanted to be married. She was given to me because she was a trouble maker, and the Ikathon hoped I could control her.” 

“And you couldn’t?” Nott asked. Caleb shook his head. 

“I did not want too. Lucy was a very good friend of mine. We did not love each other like we were supposed to, but I could not bring myself to break her spirit.” 

“You loved her.” Jester said softly. 

“She was like a sister to me.” Caleb nodded. This was the first time had spoken of her, and he missed her fiercely. He missed her bright smile and her laugh and her quick wit and how her dark skin looked in the moonlight when she would drag him on midnight adventures. 

“But you weren’t in love with her?” Molly asked. Caleb shook his head. 

“Why did you marry her?” Molly asked. 

“I was not given a choice.” Caleb said. “Neither was she.” 

The backdoor flew open and Beau scowled at them from the steps. 

“Hey assholes, we need more than two people on the fucking floor.” 

“Always so charming Beau.” Molly said. 

“I will throw my fucking leg at you.” Beau bitched. 

“Oh good, my local thrift shop is having a deal on fake limbs.” Molly teased. Beau flipped him the finger and Molly raised both of his in reply. 

“Eat my ass, Molly!” 

“I didn’t think you liked men, but alright if you insist.” Molly stood up and started to undo his pants. 

“God, keep your fucking pants on!” Beau clapped a hand over her eyes as Molly laughed. 

His shirt was pulled up to expose his lower belly and his hips and a trail of dark hair winding down below the waist of his jeans, top button undone. Caleb found himself unable to rip his eyes from the sliver of skin and the popped button and he licked his lips. 

Oh, he wanted Molly. He wanted Molly and wanting things was dangerous. Wanting got you hurt. 

“Thank you for the gifts, Molly.” Caleb said gently. 

“Dude, you’re talking.” Beau said. 

“How astute of you, Beau.” Molly snarked. Caleb covered his mouth again and tried not to laugh at them. Their relationship was very similar to the siblings he had seen on the Compound, and he enjoyed their familial bickering. It was comforting, in a way, to know that people no matter their situation, will always be people. Siblings will fight, no matter what. 

“I’ll help you carry these up to your room, Caleb.” Jester beamed. She gathered everything up in one arm and left a small bag for Caleb. She skipped up the steps and Caleb had to hurry to follow her. She opened his bedroom door with a hip and gently placed the stuff on the bed. 

“You know Caleb, I am telling you this as a friend, but you really need to shower.” Jester looked up at him with her big brown eyes. “You kinda stink.” 

“Oh.” He said softly. 

“And maybe you should shave?” Jester asked. He ran his hand along his jaw, feeling the stubble on his palm. 

“Do I have to shave?” He asked gently.

“No, not at all.” Jester said, big brown eyes fixed on his face. “Not if you don’t want too. But showering is good.” 

“I did not….” Caleb bit his lip to keep himself from speaking. 

“You didn’t what, Caleb?” 

“I thought I had to ask permission.” He muttered. Jester’s brown eyes went wide with an emotion that Caleb couldn’t name. 

“Oh Caleb.” She said gently. She put a gentle hand on his elbow. “You don’t have to ask for that. You don’t need permission to shower! Or to eat! Or to rest or anything!” She beamed up at him. 

“Now, go get your kitty, yes?” She said. “I need to call my mother.” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. He followed Jester out of his room. He headed down the steps and and was stopped by Fjord. 

“Here’s Molly’s drink. Can you take it to him?” The big man asked. 

“Alright.” Caleb took the drink as Fjord blinked. 

“You’re talkin’ now.” He mused. “Good. Baby steps, Caleb.” He clapped Caleb on the shoulder gently before limping back out to the register, his fake leg echoing in the quiet cafe. 

Caleb blinked a bit in confusion. He hadn’t expected people so be so excited for his voice. He wandered back to the alley where Molly was sitting on the back of his car, cigarette in hand. 

“Molly.” Caleb handed Molly the drink and the noise that came from the man’s throat was nothing short of obscene. 

“Thank you darling. I haven’t had my coffee yet so I owe you my life.” Molly took a slow sip. He winked at Caleb and the red head blushed again. He enjoyed making Caleb blush. The man had the skin for it, all delicate and pale. He wondered what scars Caleb had on that skinny torso of his, and Molly allowed his eyes to flicker over Caleb’s body. 

Caleb glanced up just in time to see Molly gazing over him and their eyes connected. Caleb pulled his gaze away and he squirmed internally. Why was Molly so damn confusing? He was friendly and bright with everyone and Caleb thought he was flirting but why would Molly flirt with everyone? It made no sense to Caleb. 

“I have to get going. My readings start soon so I gotta get back home.” Molly hopped off the trunk and held out his hand to Caleb. Caleb glanced down at it, and back up to Molly 

“For a handshake?” Molly offered. “If you’d prefer a hug I can totally do that too.” 

“Handshakes are good.” Caleb conceded. A hug would be so much contact that he would actually crawl out of his own skin. He extended his hand and shook Molly’s. 

Molly’s grip was firm and his hand was warm and his skin was soft and for the first time in a long time, skin on skin contact didn’t make Caleb feel like there was a rasp being dragged down his spine. Caleb didn’t want to let go of Molly’s hand but he knew he had. 

“Thank you for the gifts, again.” Caleb said. He knew it was polite to thank people more than once. 

“Hey, Jester has my number so when you get him inside, send my pictures of him, alright?” Molly climbed into his car and turned the key once, twice, three times and the car started. 

“I do not have a cell phone.” Caleb said. 

“Well that’s gotta change.” Molly winked at Caleb. “Don’t work too hard alright. All work and no play makes Caleb a dull boy.” And with that Molly pulled out and away. 

It didn’t take long for Caleb to find Frumpkin. All he had to do was crack open a can of wet food and the kitty came slinking out of the alley. Frumpkin didn’t whine when Caleb picked him up, or when he carried him inside and put the flea and tick medicine on him, or when Jester cooed over him and scratched his ears, or when Fjord slipped the collar over his head and buckled it shut. He did whine when Caleb trimmed his claws, but that was about it. 

“Who is a good kitty?” Jester cooed, scratching Frumpkin under his chin. The cat licked her nose and the young woman giggled. “He likes me!” She pet the cat a few more times before ushering everyone out Caleb’s room. 

Caleb took some time to set up the litter box and the food and water and he even took the cat tree out of the box and put it together. He was delaying taking a shower out of fear, he knew, but this was important as well. He wanted Frumpkin to be taken care of. He paused as he wriggled the cat tree into place. 

Is this how Molly felt about him? He wanted to see Frumpkin happy and warm and well-fed, and Molly had said the same thing about him. Did that mean that Molly cared about him? Since leaving the Compound Caleb had discovered that most people were very confusing. He put the cat tree in a place where it would get the afternoon sun and then sat on the bed. 

Frumpkin headbutted his elbow and then licked along his jaw. Caleb pet the cat softly, pondering the enigma that was Mollymauk. How could someone be so open and caring and bright and wonderful in this world? How could someone care so much about someone who’s damn near a total stranger? Caleb shook his head, knowing he would never understand. 

Caleb knew he had postponed long enough. He gave his cat one last pet before standing up and heading into his bathroom. He flipped the lights on and shut the door before turning on the water. He didn’t strip naked; he waited. He waited to see if anyone was going to tell him he should have asked for permission, he waited to see if anyone was going to come hurt him. 

Nobody did. There was a soft meow at the door and Caleb opened it. Frumpkin slid into the room and ran his long body against Caleb’s shins before jumping onto the windowsill and settling in to thoroughly clean his paws. 

Caleb stripped and then caught sight of himself in the mirror. His stomach churned with disgust. He was thin, too thin and too pale by far. His skin was stretched taught over his bones and he could nearly count his ribs. He could see the knobs of his spine and his hipbones jutted out sharply over his hips. He had odd scars all over his body; a scar from a knife that slipped and slid along his thigh, burn marks from a failed attempt at clearing land on his biceps, and marks from his time in the cells wrapping along his back and ribs. Caleb lifted an arm and ran his palm over those, lost in thought. 

He found himself wondering what Molly would think of his naked form. He quickly pulled away from the dangerous line of thought. He didn’t need to think about Molly when he was naked, or what Molly would think of him if he saw him naked. Those were dangerous thoughts, and Caleb couldn’t afford to think those. 

Caleb sighed and ran a hand over his face as he stepped into the shower. He wasn’t used to having a shower and a bathroom all to himself. He had shared with the other married couples in the Compound. The only person that had a bathroom to themselves was the Ikathon. Caleb was used to showering quickly and he did so, out of habit more than anything. 

He stood in front of the sink and lathered shaving cream on his face. His hair was slicked back, dripping down his spine and he always had taken this time to shave. 

He placed the razor on his face and then paused. Growing a beard had been a mark of favor at the Compound, and Caleb hadn’t been granted that. He had to shave his face every day since he could grow a beard. He had grown his hair long in a quiet act of rebellion, but had still shaved his face. And Jester said that now he didn’t have to shave. He put down the razor, and then wiped the shaving cream from his face. 

Caleb was going to grow a beard. 

He rinsed the foam from his face and then turned to the cat. 

“Do you think I would look good with a beard?” He asked. Frumpkin mewed softly and jumped from the window to the sink. He put his little paws on Caleb’s chest and headbutted his jawline. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Caleb said gently. 

The rest of Caleb’s night was spent alone, reading, trying not to think of Mollymauk. Molly was a puzzle to Caleb, and Caleb’s mind always tried to put puzzles together. How could Molly be so kind? Why was Molly so interested in Caleb? Why was Molly constantly hovering about the cafe? How did Molly get out of this place? Why was Molly nice to Caleb? Why did Caleb want to see Molly smile when that smile caused his heart to flutter? 

Caleb ended up drifted off to sleep with a book on his stomach and Frumpkin curled up next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll and on twitter on mebeshe4815.


	3. Dogs and Therapy

Caleb woke slowly on his day off. Normally he woke before the sun, an old habit from the Compound. But the sun was out and the birds were singing and he could hear traffic from the open window as he slowly woke up. 

Caleb had a tendency to curl into a little ball as he slept, trying to take up as little space as possible. He was used to constantly being in the way. But here he was, laying on his back, spread out in the bed. His limbs were lax and he felt at peace. It was an odd sensation and Caleb wasn’t sure he liked it. He felt Frumpkin’s fuzzy body next to his and Caleb reached down and ran his hand down the cat’s spine. He mrrped softly and started to purr and the feeling of calm grew. 

Caleb wondered if this is how normal people felt all the time. He wondered if this is how Molly felt all the time. His mind drifted back to Molly and Caleb put his head under his hand. He wasn’t used to lazing about in bed, but Frumpkin has his head on Caleb’s hip and it wasn’t like he could get up and disturb his sleeping cat. Caleb felt that was nearly monstrous; disturbing a sleeping cat. 

His mind kept churning over Mollymauk. He found himself wishing he had a phone, so he could text Molly. He wanted to see the other man, and soon. Caleb sighed, throwing his arm over his eyes. 

He knew he was developing a crush on Molly and he hated it. He hated the fact that he was developing feelings for a man. Why he couldn’t have liked women like normal men did? Why did he have to deal with this perversion inside of him? Perhaps the Ikathon was right. Perhaps Caleb was nothing short of a beast who couldn’t function in the outside world. Perhaps Caleb was worth less the dirt on his shoes. Caleb felt tears pricking his eyes and he dug his hand into the meat of his thigh, the pain of his nails grounding him. 

He couldn’t cry. Crying was something women and children did, and Caleb was a man grown now. Crying was a show of weakness, and weakness got you killed. 

There was a knock on his door and Fjord’s deep rumble echoed through the wood. 

“Caleb, you up? Vex’ll be here in an hour.” 

They all had Monday’s off, for therapy. They had individual sessions, for people who were too damaged for group and then after lunch they had group therapy for the others as a group. Yasha and Caleb were still in the solo sessions. Neither of them were totally comfortable around people yet. 

“Caleb? Knock twice if you’re up.” Fjord said again. 

“I am awake.” Caleb said gently. His session was first and therapy always wrung him out. He sighed and Frumpkin made a grumpy noise as he sat up. 

“Good. Breakfast’ll be ready in five. I’m cookin’ today.” 

“Thank goodness.” Caleb muttered and Fjord laughed. 

“Yeah, Beau ain’t allowed to cook no more.” He heard Fjord’s mismatched gait lumber away. 

Caleb quickly dressed and he joined them for breakfast. It was the usual affair, loud and boisterous and Caleb found himself wondering how Molly would have fit in with their little group. He could almost see it, in his mind’s eye. He could see Molly leaning back in his chair, arm draped over the back of Caleb’s, laughing as he wrapped his hand around the coffee. A part of Caleb’s heart warmed at the image, and he found himself wondering if he could ask Jester to bring Molly in for breakfast one morning. 

He wondered if he had the courage to ask Jester for anything at all. 

And hour and a half later he was sitting on the couch in the room reserved for therapy with Trinket the therapy dog and Vex’ahlia the therapist sitting across from him. 

“So, Jester tells me there have been some changes.” Vex started. Her clipped, English accent for some reason reminded Caleb of his childhood, far away in a land he could barely remember. “She tells me you’re talking now.” 

“I am.” Caleb said softly. Her brown eyes grew kind as she smiled at him. 

“I am proud of you, Caleb.” She said. Trinket huffed and wriggled closer to Caleb. He reached down and ran his hand over the big dog’s head and got slobbery kisses in thanks. 

“It is just talking.” Caleb said softly. 

“Yes, but when you first got here you wouldn’t even leave your room.” Vex said. “You have made wonderful progress in such a short time.” Caleb shrugged and leaned back on the couch. Frumpkin jumped from the bookshelf to Caleb’s lap and curled into a ball, watching Trinket with his big blue eyes. 

“She also told me you met Molly.” 

Caleb couldn’t help the blush that spread over his features. He nodded, threading his fingers into Frumpkin’s fur. 

“What did you think of him?” She asked. 

“He’s…..a bit much.” Caleb confessed. “He’s bright and loud and in your face but he seems to be very kind.” He took a deep breath. “He…bought Frumpkin many things. I am still not sure what he means by that.” 

“Could it be that Molly just wants to see you happy?” Vex offered. 

“He does not know me.” Caleb said. “Why would he care about me?” 

“Does the idea of people caring about you surprise you so much?” She asked, crossing her long legs. Caleb could see that Vex was pretty, in an objective way. She had the kind of face that Caleb saw on the television in the dorm, or on the adds in the papers he threw out in the evening. He could tell that Vex was pretty, he just wasn’t attracted to her. 

“I….” Caleb nodded. “It does.” 

“Have you ever loved anyone, Caleb?” She asked. “Truly loved them?” 

“I….” His mind went at once to Aoedwulf, and how he would smile at Caleb and how Caleb’s heart would flip, to their scouting missions and hunting trips and how they would sit their watches together and how his heart ached whenever he was near the other man simply because of how twisted and wrong Caleb’s affections were. 

“There….was someone. Back at the Compound.” He admitted. 

“What was her name?” Vex asked. 

“It was….they’re weren’t….” Oh god, panic was clawing at his throat now. Trinket whined and got up, lumbering over to Caleb. He shoved his big doggy head at Caleb’s chest and started licking his hands and face as Caleb wrapped his arms around Trinket’s neck. 

“What was his name?” Vex asked softly. Caleb shook his head and Trinket climbed half into Caleb’s lap. Frumpkin jumped onto Caleb’s shoulders and draped himself over his neck like a scarf. 

“You don’t want to tell me? Why not?” 

“It’s wrong.” He gasped out. “It’s twisted and wrong. It’s a perversion of nature and it means that I am broken.” Caleb shook and Trinket huffed into his ear. 

“Caleb, may I show you something?” Vex asked softly. “I’d need to sit next to you, if that’s alright.”

Caleb glanced up at her and nodded. He trusted her, oddly enough. Vex grabbed her phone and moved to set next to Caleb. 

“This is my brother.” She pulled up some kind of photo stream. There was a very beautiful man, dressed all in black, with a gun slung over his shoulders. He was in the middle of some kind dessert and he was staring off into the distance, his long black hair blowing in a breeze. 

“His name is Vax’ildan. He’s an idiot to the highest degree but I love him. He’s a mercenary, and he’s somewhere overseas right now. I don’t know where.” It was obvious from her voice that she loved him and missed him. She scrolled down the photo feed until she found a photo. 

It was of Vax and some man that Caleb didn’t know. The other man was shirtless, with rich dark skin like Fjord’s, long curling black hair and a beard. He had a rainbow flag draped on his shoulders like a cape and rainbows on his cheeks and his chest. He was kissing Vax, who had a pink and purple and blue flag on his shoulders. 

“That’s Vax’s boyfriend, Sean.” Vex said. “This is them at Pride this year. Vax and Sean care for each other very much. They have a good solid relationship, built on trust and respect. Sean is a bit too good for my idiot brother, I must confess, but they love each other dearly.” Vex looked at Caleb. 

“Caleb, darling, there is nothing wrong with you liking men.” She sounded so much like Molly that Caleb’s heart hurt. 

He didn’t say anything, just looked at the photograph of two men kissing, in public, with pride. He hadn’t seen anything like it before, anything like them. It was brave of them, and he found himself wondering if there were others like them, and how big their community actually was. 

“Do you think I would lie to you, darling?” Vex asked gently. 

“No.” Caleb said. 

“So, if I say that this is normal and natural, do you believe me?” She asked again. Caleb glanced into her big brown eyes and quickly averted them to avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed. 

“I do not know.” He confessed. The Ikathon had told them all time and time again that liking others like you meant you were twisted and wrong. It’s one of the reasons why he and Lucy had gotten along so well. She liked women in the same way he liked men. 

“Why do you think that this makes you broken?” Vex asked. She shifted to face him. 

“That…that is what the Ikathon said.” Caleb confessed. 

“And what else has he told you?” Vex asked. 

“That…that the world is coming to an end. That only his followers will survive the first war. That women are nothing more than property, to be given to men who can control them.” He said. 

“And was he right about those?” Vex asked. 

“No.” Caleb shook his head. “He was wrong.” 

“Then why do you believe him about this?” Vex gestured to the photo of her brother and his boyfriend, clearly in love, clearly in public, clearly confident about their showing their love in public. 

Caleb had no words. He felt tears gather in his eyes and he shoved the heels of his hands into his eyes. Trinket whined and climbed fully into Caleb’s lap. The big St. Bernard then licked as much of Caleb as he could reach. 

“It’s alright to cry, darling.” Vex said gently. She put a gentle hand on Caleb’s shoulder and he found himself leaning into her body as best as he could with with nearly two hundred pounds of fluffy dog in his lap. 

“I want you think about that, alright? I want you to think about this, and I want you to think about yourself.” She asked. He nodded taking a deep breath. Trinket huffed and put his head into Caleb’s chest. 

“I want you to also give me five things you like about yourself.” Vex said. “That’s your homework until I see you on Thursday.” 

“I don’t know I can find five things.” Caleb said softly. 

“Then find as many as you can.” Vex said gently. “Can you do that for me Caleb?” 

“Ja -yes.” He corrected himself. “I will.” 

“Good.” Vex said. “I think we made quite a bit of progress today.” Her phone beeped, saying it was the end of Caleb’s hour and the start of Yasha’s. 

“Now, remember what I said, alright?” Vex said. “Trinket, off.” She snapped her fingers and Trinket wriggled from Caleb’s lap to Vex’s. 

“Go and rest, Caleb.” She said, muffled by her dog. All Caleb could see was Trinket’s big fluffy body and Vex’s arm and legs. It was a funny sight, to him. 

“Ja. Thank you Vex’ahlia.” He said. He scratched Frumpkin behind the ear and left the room, nodding to Yasha as she entered. 

“Vex, do you need help?” He heard Yasha ask. 

Caleb hurried back to his room, exhausted. He didn’t want to speak to anyone and when he reached his room he shut the door and sighed. He walked over to the cat tree and let Frumpkin jump from his shoulders to the top tier where he sat down. Caleb then flopped face-first onto the bed. He was wrung out bone-deep from this. He hated therapy. He knew he needed it but it made him so tired. He curled into a ball, resting his head on the pillow. 

In his mind he kept seeing the picture of Vax and Sean, kissing. He wondered how Molly’s mouth would feel against his own. The wave rose up again and Vex’s words echoed in his mind. He ignored the revulsion in his stomach and remembered how Molly’s lips looked in the light from Saturday. Something else started to burn in his belly and then Caleb remembered the slice of Molly’s stomach that had been exposed and Caleb felt his cock twitch in his slacks. He felt himself grow hard as he thought of that, and as he thought of kissing Molly. He ignored his cock and rolled onto his stomach to avoid putting any kind of pressure on it. 

He was taught growing up in the Compound that masturbation was wrong. Masturbation was an exercise of free will and that would bring about the end. 

But if Trent had been wrong about Caleb’s feelings for other men, had he been wrong about this too? 

There were so many things that were so confusing to Caleb, now. What he had known to be right was wrong and what was wrong was right and up was down and left was right, now. He pulled the pillow over his face and blocked out the world with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At always, find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll and on twitter at mebeshe4815. Kudos and comments feel the plot bunnies!


	4. Therapy, Cheeseburgers, and Vets, Oh My!

Molly rolled up on Wednesday morning, eager to see Caleb. Mirian had called him on Monday night and they gotten Caleb a phone. Today, not only was Molly going to actually spend time with Caleb, but he was going to give Caleb a real gift, something for him, something that Molly could use to talk to Caleb and contact him. 

He cut the engine and grabbed the bag and tumbled out of the car, practically skipping into the cafe. He waved to Beau who frowned at him as he slid over the counter. Caleb wasn’t in the back so Molly took the steps two at a time. Caleb was sitting on the window seat of the common area, nose in a book. There was a kitty crate and harness on the table, and Frumpkin on his shoulders. Caleb looked up from the book and Molly felt his heart stop in his chest. 

Caleb’s hair was pulled into a tail and his beard had grown out from the ‘too lazy to shave’ look to the ‘should be advertising cologne half-naked under a waterfall’ look. His blue eyes were bright and the shirt he had on was a deep blue v-neck that showed off his collar bones and a little bit of chest hair. 

Oh, he was handsome. 

Oh, Molly had it bad. 

Oh, Molly was so fucked. 

“Hey, good to see you.” Molly’s voice cracked and he sat on the edge of the couch. “Here. A gift from Mirian.” He handed out the box to Caleb. Caleb closed the book and took the box, eyes going wide as he opened it. 

“I cannot take this.” Caleb said. 

“I know, I know, you think gifts come with a price.” Molly said. “This doesn’t. This is so that if we get separated today I can find you.” He explained. “Also it’s so that you can contact me any time you like. I already programmed my number into it. And I did the same with everyone else’s. Also, I put music on it for you, and you have an e-reader app on there.” 

“What?” Caleb looked up at him. 

“So you can read books on your phone.” Molly said. He watched as Caleb took the phone out of the box and turned it on. It beeped and there was a photo of Molly, one of his better selfies, that Molly had set as the background. 

“Why?” Caleb asked gently. 

“Because I’m hoping you’ll call me. Or text me. I’m hoping we can be friends.” 

Caleb glanced down to the phone. Molly had taken a picture of himself. He was glancing up at the camera, his mouth half open, his nails highly decorated and resting on his collarbone as golden light shined down on him. It was a good photograph and Caleb liked it. 

“I….I hope we can be friends as well, Mollymauk.” Caleb said. He clutched the phone to his chest like a talisman. 

“Then call me Molly?” Molly asked. He looked at Caleb with a tiny, hopeful grin. 

“Alright….Molly.” Caleb said gently. The grin that split the other man’s face made Caleb’s heart ache with joy. He grinned like it was his birthday or his wedding. It was a beautiful thing, Mollymauk’s smile. 

“Come on. Pack up the cat and grab your book. We’re going to get food and then taking Frump to get his shots.” Molly jumped off the chair, eager to get going. He was eager to spend time with Caleb alone. He wanted to see if he could get Caleb to crack a smile. 

Caleb had already gotten the cat’s harness on and he slipped the cat into the crate. Frump made a whiny noise of protest, but Caleb just picked up the crate and headed down the steps to Molly’s car. Molly got a wonderful view of Caleb’s ass as he bent over to strap the crate into the back of the car. 

Get the man a few square meals on his bones and Caleb’s ass would turn into two perfect handfuls. Molly’s libido supplied the image of him holding on to Caleb’s perfect ass as Caleb fucked his face and Molly quickly got into the driver’s side so Caleb wouldn’t see his erection. 

Oh he wanted Caleb something fierce. He wouldn’t do a thing about it. Not until Caleb was hearty and healthy and then, only then, if Caleb showed interest in him. He watched as Caleb climbed into the car and carefully buckled up. 

“I was thinking we could get food first. I’m starving.” Molly pulled out into LA traffic. 

“Food sound good.” Caleb admitted. 

“And Beau’s birthday is coming up so I want to get her something.” He knew exactly what to get her. 

“Molly, are you planning on getting her a prank gift?” Caleb asked. He was poking at the new phone, learning it. He was picking it up quickly, he had already found the games and the music that Molly had put on for him. 

“No. I’m gonna get her a strap-on.” Molly said. 

“A strap on what? For her leg?” Caleb asked, looking over to Molly. 

“Oh darling, you’re so innocent.” Molly said. “A strap on dildo. So she can fuck other people who have vaginas.” 

Caleb blinked a few times and turned bright red. His face was like a tomato and the tips of his ears were bright Barbie pink. 

“Ah.” He said. “I-I did not - I mean - I was not aware I…ah…shit.” He muttered. 

“You didn’t know she’s a massive lesbian?” Molly asked. “Darling, nearly everyone at the Cafe is some sort of gay.” He laughed. “We go all out for Pride. You just missed it.” 

“Ah.” Caleb said, his mind running in overdrive. 

“Is that going to be an issue?” Molly asked. He really hoped not. He didn’t care if Caleb was straight (okay yes he cared; he and his dick would be heartbroken) but if Caleb had issues with queer people it would be difficult for him to be at the cafe. 

“No.” Caleb said. “I….I am….I am working….” He took a steady breath. “I was taught, at the Compound, that….that…that what I feel for….for other men is wrong.” Caleb spoke carefully and slowly, fiddling with his new phone. “Vex….she told me about her brother, showed me a picture of him and his….his….boyfriend.” The word was nearly a whisper as it fell from his mouth. “I am….still fighting what I have been taught.” He confessed. 

“But you’re fighting it, which means that you know what you’ve been taught isn’t right.” Molly said. 

“It’s….difficult. At the Compound….I was the first to escape.” Caleb said. “I got out, and I got on the news, and the forest rangers raided the camp to find they were all gone, that they had gone deeper into the woods. They are going to be more cut off than ever before. We didn’t have even a radio.” Caleb said gently. “Music was….it was considered an act of free will.” 

“And what’s wrong with free will?” Molly asked. “That’s what makes us human.” 

“Free will is what will bring about the End.” Caleb. Molly knew the tone of voice Caleb had. That tone of voice was the same kind that people who had been raised in a faith had when they recited old prayers and beliefs. It was the tone of indoctrination and brainwashing. 

“You’re telling me you’ve never really heard music?” Molly asked. Caleb scoffed. 

“I spent the first thirteen years of my life in Germany, Molly. I have heard music.” Caleb replied. “I have even danced a bit.” 

“Oh, well that’s good. Wait….how old were you when you were taken?” He asked. 

“My parents moved from Germany to Wyoming when I was thirteen. I ended up the at the People’s Center for the Preservation of the Family Unit when I was fifteen.” Caleb said. 

“Ended up?” Molly asked. 

“I….I…..I….” Caleb took a deep breath. He hadn’t spoken of this to anyone. “I was kidnapped.” He admitted. “I was taken.” His voice was soft and his hands were shaking. “I was fifteen. I was alone. I had no friends. I was a studious child, and I was at the library to improve my English. They….they….” He remembered it as if it was yesterday. 

“They had been watching me.” He buried his face in his hands and felt the car come to a stop. 

“Hey, hey. You don’t have to talk about this.” Molly said gently. “You don’t have to tell me. Or anyone. At all. Ever.”

Molly reached out to touch Caleb and his hand hovered over Caleb’s back. He knew that touch was grounding for him, but he didn’t know what touch did for Caleb. He wanted to be a grounding presence in Caleb’s life. He wanted to be there for Caleb, he wanted to Caleb to be able to rely on him without question. 

“Well good news, we’re here.” Molly said. He had pulled into the line at the drive-thru. Caleb peeked up from his hands and Molly could see unshed tears in his eyes and he felt his heart shattering. 

What had Caleb been through to make him so scared all the time? 

Molly inched the car forward. 

“Hey….quick question.” He said. “When you get like that, all scared and small, do you want me to touch you?” Molly wanted to make sure that was alright with Caleb. He didn’t want to hurt Caleb, to set him off and ruin the fragile trust that Caleb had in him. 

“I don’t know.” Caleb admitted. “Nobody has ever touched me like that before.” 

The innocence in Caleb’s statement combined with Molly’s dirty mind was doing terrible things to his libido. Molly shoved the innuendo his brain was screaming over aside to take care of Caleb. 

“Well, next time that happens, I’ll let you know before touching you, alright?” Molly said. “Beau broke Fjord’s nose her first day at the cafe.” 

“What?” Caleb asked softly. The panic was calming down and the sensations of phantom hands on his skin and the phantom gag in his mouth were fading under Molly’s words. 

“Yeah. Oh it’s such a good story.” Molly settled in to tell Caleb about how Beau and flipped Fjord over her shoulder when he had touched her in the middle of a flashback. 

“Yeah and then his nose was broken and he couldn’t speak right for a month.” Molly said. His attention was caught by a little older Hispanic man pushing a cart. He was ringing a bike bell and the cart was laden with all sorts of goodies; chips and little toys and whistles and Molly quickly rolled down Caleb’s window and leaned over him. 

“Hola senor!” Molly waved his hand to get his attention. 

Caleb wasn’t aware that was Molly was conversing with the man in fluent Spanish. Molly was half in his lap and oh this felt so right to Caleb. He wanted to wrap his arms around Molly and pull him fully into his lap and kiss his neck, to hold him close and bask in the presence of Molly on his lap. God, he ached for Molly. He wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to do to and with Molly, but he knew that he wanted. 

“Hey, what’s your ring size?” Molly looked over his shoulder to Caleb. There was a blush high on his cheekbones and his blue eyes were dark with something that Molly was tempted to call lust. 

“I…my ring size? I do not know.” 

“Let me see your hand.” Molly took his right and ran his fingers over Caleb’s fingers. Caleb sucked in a sharp breath and looked up to Molly’s face. His fingers were warm on Caleb’s skin and soft and gentle as they flitted over his hand. Molly tossed out a number in Spanish and the man handed Molly a ring. 

“Here. Try this.” He slid the ring onto Caleb’s index finger and it fit perfectly. Caleb ran his thumb over it and it span. He gasped in delight and span the ring about again and again. 

“Perfect.” Molly tried to dig out his wallet and Caleb beat him to it. He passed the man a five and refused the change. 

“Molly I do not speak Spanish. Can you tell him I would like for him to keep the change?” Caleb asked. He put a hand on the small of Molly’s back to help steady him as Molly spoke rapid-fire Spanish. The man grinned widely and repeated a phrase over and over. 

“He’s saying thank you.” Molly grinned. 

“Tell him that he is very welcome?” Caleb asked gently. He span the ring about and felt a part of soul calm down with the gesture. The man thanked him again and puttered down the street with his little cart. Molly left Caleb’s lap and Caleb had to bite his lip to keep from making a whining noise at the empty feeling. 

He wanted Molly back in his lap, and soon. He wondered if that made him a terrible person. He wondered if he was a horrible person and a failed man for wanting to pull another man into his lap and keep him there. 

“Hey, good job.” Molly said, reaching over and giving Caleb’s knee a soft squeeze. 

“What did I do?” Caleb asked, ignoring the way his heart hammered at the simple contact. 

“You bought yourself something. Something that’s not a necessity. Something fun.” Molly grinned as they pulled up to the speaker. “Proud of you, Caleb.” He turned back and ordered for them as Caleb stared down at the ring. 

He realized he had just done that. That, without a second thought, he had gotten himself a little luxury. And, oddly enough, he didn’t feel guilt about it. 

Is this what recovery was? 

He stared out the window and watched the traffic roll by as Molly pulled away. 

“Hey, get Frumpkin out of the crate if he won’t panic.” Molly said. “They’ll love it.” 

“Alright.” Caleb twisted and popped open the crate and Frumpkin crawled into his arms. 

Molly’s gaze flitted to the sliver of stomach that was exposed when Caleb was turned and then averted his gaze as Caleb sat back down. Frumpkin jumped from Caleb’s lap to the dash and started sniffing everything he could reach as Molly pulled up to the window. 

“Hi you had the - OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A CAT!” The girl behind the counter said. “GUYS THERE’S A CAT IN DRIVE-THRU!” She said into her headset. Suddenly there was about five workers in white shirts at the window, cooing over Frumpkin. Frumpkin jumped into Molly’s lap and put his paws on the window sill and meowed loudly, sniffing the air. 

“Oh who’s a good kitty!” The girl with the headset cooed and gave Frumpkin some chin rubs. “He’s a good cat.” She gushed. 

“His name is Frumpkin.” Caleb said from the passenger side. 

“Oh what a cute name!” She cooed. She took the card from Molly and swiped it, and Frumpkin licked her knuckles when she passed it back. “You guys have a great day now!” She gave the cat one more gentle pat on the head. “Bye baby!” And Molly pulled away. 

“Told you they’d love him.” Molly grinned. “And she’ll gush about this for days.” He laughed. 

“You like making people happy.” Caleb mused. 

“Yeah I do.” Molly took the food and the shakes and pulled into the parking lot. Frumpkin already had his head in the fries, trying to steal one. 

“Why?” Caleb asked, grabbing the cat and putting him on the floor. He pinned the lead with a foot to keep Frumpkin from eating food he wasn’t supposed to. 

“I like making people happy. She could have been having a terrible day. Her boyfriend could have broken up with her. Her car could be having issues. And then there’s a cat in drive thru and her day is a little bit better.” Molly said. He popped the lid off of his strawberry shake and dunked his fries in it. 

“That is disgusting.” Caleb said. 

“Don’t knock it if you haven't tried it.” Molly said. He winked at Caleb and tossed the fries in his mouth. He gave an exaggerated moan in an attempt to get Caleb to laugh. 

It failed. 

“One day I’m gonna get you to laugh, Caleb.” Molly said. He dug about the cardboard box and took a bite out of his burger. 

“I do not understand you, Molly.” Caleb spoke gently. He took his own burger and took a bite. It was soft and warm and cheesy and tart and the onions were crisp and it was very very good. 

“What do you mean, darling?” Molly licked some of the sauce from his wrist. 

“Why you are so…..how you can be so kind.” Caleb confessed. 

“It’s a choice.” Molly said. “The person I was before my accident wasn’t a good person. He was not the kind of person that people wanted to be around. He was the kind of person that made others scared. And when I found that the people I had known were scared of me, scared of who I might be, I made a choice to not be like that.” He turned to Caleb, burger falling to his lap. 

“I made the choice to be kind. I make the choice to be kind. I make it every day. It’s not easy, not with a world that is so determined to be cold and hard and cruel, but I won’t let that discourage me.” 

“You…you are kind because you want to be? I am trying to understand.” Caleb turned to face Molly, fiddling with his fries. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “You haven’t even scratched the surface of what you have survived, and if you don’t ever tell me that’s fine. I can tell you’ve survived some tough shit. You and I both know how terribly cold this world can be. I am making the choice, every day, to make the world a little less cold for others.” Molly explained. 

“Is that why you are being so nice to me?” Caleb said. “Why you…why you bought me food and are taking Frumpkin to the vet and why you want to be my friend?” He wasn’t used to things coming without a price. He wasn’t used to things like this. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “And something tells me you could use a friend.” 

Caleb felt a smile tugging at his lips and he covered his mouth with his hand. 

“Ja.” He confessed. “I could.” 

“You don’t need to hide your smile.” Molly said. “I bet it’s a good one.” He shot Caleb a wink. He dug about for some fries again. “I’m gonna get a smile from you one - HEY!” He looked down to see Frumpkin stealing the fries from his hand. Molly threw back his head and laughed. 

"Alright you little sneak.” Molly said. He dug out a few of the smaller fries and put them on a napkin and put the paper on the ground. Frumpkin dug in, making happy chirrping noises as he ate. 

“You are not mad he ate your food?” Caleb asked gently. 

“Naw, he’s a cat. He doesn’t know any better.” Molly said with a grin. “Dip your fries in your shake. Go on.” 

Caleb did as Molly ordered. He popped the lid off his vanilla shake and dipped his fries in it before eating them. He blinked down in surprise. The fries were hot and crispy and salty and the shake was cool and sweet and it was a very delightful combination. He felt the corners of his mouth tug up into a little grin and he heard Molly gasp. 

“Is that a smile I’m seeing?” Molly gasped. 

Caleb put his hand over his mouth. Caleb turned his head as he broke out into a full grin, tucking his face into the seat-belt. 

Molly really wanted to see Caleb’s smile but he wasn’t going to pressure Caleb into showing him. Instead he just tilted his head and looked at Caleb, eyebrows raised. Caleb glanced to Molly out of the corner of his eye. 

The other man looked so damn hopeful that Caleb was smiling. Even though his hands were shaking in fear and part of him was bracing to be hit, Caleb turned his face as he lowered his hand and showed Molly his smile. 

Oh. 

Oh, Caleb’s smile was beautiful. It reminded Molly of the first time he could remember seeing a full moon. It took his breath away with the sheer beauty of it. Molly felt his own face crack into a grin and he smiled back at Caleb. 

“You have a nice smile.” Molly spoke gently. Caleb blushed bright red and tugged up his shirt, burying his face in the fabric. 

“Oh no I’m sorry!” Molly laughed. “You do though! I like your smile! Now that I’ve seen it I’m going to try to get it from you as much as I can.” Molly glanced to the clock and started his car. 

“I have created a monster.” Caleb muttered. 

“Yup.” Molly said cheerfully. 

The ride to the vet was simple and the conversation was light. Molly took point on most of it, babbling away and trying to get Caleb to shine that moon-bright smile of his. God, Molly felt his heart beat trip in his chest as he remembered how Caleb looked. How the years of worry and stress were stripped from his face by a true, genuine smile. 

He needed to tell Yasha all about Caleb’s smile, and how beautiful it was. How it made Molly’s head swim like he was drunk and how he itched to kiss Caleb when he was smiling. The thought then hit him like a brick; if Caleb’s smile was this stunning, what was his laugh like?

Molly made it is his personal mission to make Caleb laugh. He wanted to hear what kind of noise a beautiful man like Caleb would make. He pulled into the vets office and Caleb picked up Frumpkin and the cat draped himself over his shoulders. 

The girl behind the counter was cute in a little sisterly kind of way and she knew Molly at once. She guided them right into the exam room and Frumpkin jumped into Caleb’s lap and buried his face in his dad’s armpit, knowing he was at the vet. 

Caleb made gentle soothing noises and spoke softly to his cat in German. He was using his mother tongue more and more, feeling more confident in the fact that nobody will harass him or hurt him for using it. It felt good, to be able to speak the language of his birth again. He hadn’t realized how he had missed it until he started using it again. It was like a limb had gone numb, and he was now just starting to be able to use it again. 

Molly was rifling through the cabinets and found a box of gloves. He pulled them before snapping them around his wrists and then rifled through the rest of the cabinets.

“Molly, what are you doing?” Caleb asked. Molly turned, elbow deep in a box. 

“Exploring.” He said. Caleb rolled his eyes. 

“You will get stabbed by something if you keep rooting around in there.” Caleb reached out and grabbed Molly’s hips and tugged him closer. Vaguely, Molly realized that this was the first time that Caleb had touched him. He looked down at Caleb and smiled a wicked grin. 

“Oh? Are you so worried about me?” He teased. 

“Ja, Molly. I am.” Caleb said, looking up into Molly’s face. A twisted part of Caleb liked the image of Molly hovering over him. He wanted Molly’s hands in his hair and he wondered what Molly’s cock would feel like on his tongue. He blushed bright red but was unable to rip his eyes from Molly’s face. 

“What are you thinking that has you so red, my darling?” Molly asked. He reached down and pushed a lock of Caleb’s hair back over his ear. Caleb gasped softly and Molly reached down to cup his cheek. 

“Is this alright?” He asked softly. “Is it alright if I touch you?” Caleb’s eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into the touch. It had been so long since he had been touched by gentle hands he burned for it. 

“Ja.” He said gently. Caleb leaned forward and rested his forehead against Molly’s thigh. Molly reached up and peeled the glove off before returning his hand to Caleb’s head. He carded his fingers through Caleb’s hair gently and the other man made a soft noise in the back of his throat. 

“Is this good?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “Da ist gut.” He muttered in German. His hand fell from Molly’s hip to wrap around his thigh and tug him closer. Molly slid into the cleft of Caleb’s spread legs and Caleb rested his head against Molly’s lower stomach. 

“Darling, how long has it been since you’ve been held?” Molly asked softly. 

“I….” Caleb cast his truly formidable memory back. “Since before the Center.” He admitted. 

“Oh, my darling dear.” Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb’s shoulder and held him tight. He threaded his hands into Caleb’s hair as he tucked his face into Molly’s stomach. They stayed like that, wrapped around each other until there was a knock at the door. Caleb pulled back as if burned and Molly pulled back as the vet entered. 

“Hello again Molly.” She beamed. She was an older black woman, with long curly hair pulled back with a leather cord and kind eyes. “And you must be Caleb. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Doctor Tamara.” She shook Caleb’s hand. 

“And this is Frumpkin.” Caleb said. He pulled Frumpkin out, and the cat scrabbled to climb back into the safe place of Caleb’s armpit. 

“Oh poor thing, Jester said on the phone he was a stray?” She said. She took the cat at Frumpkin hissed at her. 

“Frumpkin!” Caleb chided the cat. 

“Oh it’s alright, he doesn’t I know I’m doing this for his own good.” She tucked the cat under her arm and he shoved his face into her armpit as well. 

“I’ll get him shots and a flea dip, and then we can scan him for a chip. We’ll be back.” She waved her fingers at them and vanished. 

The door shut and Molly turned to Caleb only to see his eyes fixed on the door and his fingers on his pulse. He watched as Caleb counted, his head bobbing in time to what Molly assumed was his heartbeat. Once Caleb had reached some number, he reached out for Molly again. 

“What was that?” Molly asked, threading his hands through Caleb’s hair. Caleb made a questioning noise against Molly’s shirt. 

“The counting.” Molly clarified. 

“If they do not come back by one hundred and thirty heartbeats, they are truly gone.” Caleb said gently. His tone was as if he was discussing where to get lunch, or when to leave to avoid the hellish Los Angeles traffic. It was a casual, fact-of-life tone and it sent cold fingers of horror down Molly’s spine. 

“Why don’t you just listen at the door? Or look under?” Molly asked. 

“Because if you can see them, they can see you.” Caleb replied. “And then they hurt you.”

Good God, what had Caleb suffered? What had made him develop so many little survival mechanisms? What had turned him into the nearly feral man that Molly had first met? Who had done this to him? Who had nearly broken Caleb’s spirit? Molly wanted to find them and strangle them with his own two hands. He wanted to hurt them for what they did to Caleb. He wanted to make them suffer in all the ways they had made Caleb suffer. He wanted them to pay in blood and ashes, and he would take the payment himself. 

Caleb pulled away from Molly and he looked down. Caleb was curling himself into a small ball, hands open and palm-up in his thighs. His head was bent and his eyes were downcast. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered. 

“Caleb, what?” Molly asked, confused. 

“I made you angry. I’m sorry.” His voice was trembling and Molly could see the tremors in his hands. It was like the night had caught Caleb taking a box, only less intense. There was fear in every line of Caleb’s body and Molly felt his heart churn. 

“No, no Caleb no.” Molly knelt and covered Caleb’s hands with his own. “You didn’t make me angry. I promise.” Molly said. “It’s not you. I’m angry at those who hurt you. I’m angry at the people made you scared. I’m angry at the people thought they could beat the smiles out of you. I’m angry on your behalf. I’m not angry at you.” Molly clarified. He gave Caleb’s hands a gentle, grounding squeeze. 

“You are not angry at me?” Caleb asked. He risked glancing up into Molly’s face. He didn’t see any anger there. He remembered how the Ikathon’s face would grow dark as stormclouds before calmly asking Caleb to get whatever he would beat him with, usually depending on the severity of the crime. The switch was the worst. Caleb still bore scars from the willow switch. 

Molly’s face, however, bore no trace of anger in it. His handsome face showed concern and fear and despair, but no anger. Caleb reached up with a shaking hand and traced his fingers over Molly’s forehead, as if he could feel if Molly was lying to him. His fingers traced the fine lines in Molly’s skin, down to the feathers on his cheek. 

“You are not lying to me?” He asked. The Ikathon would do that, sometimes. Say he wasn’t angry but he was. He was testing Caleb to see how well Caleb knew him, to see if Caleb would get himself into deeper trouble for asking questions. 

“Darling, I will never lie to you.” Molly looked him dead in the eyes. Caleb held the gaze, even though every nerve in his body was screaming at him to break it. 

“I will never lie to you. I will never hurt you. I will never, ever lay a hand on you in ways you do not want me to.” Molly said firmly. Caleb felt tears fill his eyes and he buried his face in the crook of his arm. He wouldn’t cry, he would not. He would not bare that weakness to the light of day. 

“I promise Caleb, I will do everything I can do keep you safe. To keep you well. To keep you happy.” Molly clutched at Caleb’s biceps and was shocked but how damn thin he was. Had he been starved at the Compound too? 

“Why?” Caleb asked. His voice was muffled by the sleeve of his shirt and he took a steady breath. 

“Because you’re my friend, Caleb.” Molly said. “And friends keep friends safe.” One of his hands moved from Caleb’s arm the to the back of his neck. He saw Caleb relax under the pressure of Molly’s hand on his neck and he field that way as interesting. 

“Are you sure you want to be my friend?” Caleb asked. He shot Molly a tiny, small, sad smile that broke Molly’s heart. “I am a mess.” 

“Too late.” Molly teased. “I’m already your friend. Now, how about we shelve this utterly depressing topic for the day, yes?” Molly asked. “The sun is shining, the birds are singing, we’re full of good and greasy fast food, Frump is getting his shots, and you are in truly delightful company.” 

“Also very humble company.” Caleb muttered. 

“Did you just make a joke?” Molly asked, grinning wide. 

“Possibly.” Caleb muttered. He wasn’t sure how Molly would react being the butt of a joke. Molly shook his head. 

“Shame. It was a good one.” He winked. There was a knock at the door again and the doctor emerged, holding a very grumpy Frumpkin. He wriggled out of her grip and bounded from her to the table and back into Caleb’s lap. He turned and gave the vet a good hiss before sticking his head back in Caleb’s armpit. 

“Well good news, he’s fixed already and there’s no chip. He has all his shots and a flea bath. He’s underfed but he’s got a good appetite and we treated him for a small bit of mange as well. He’s good to go.” The vet said gently. Caleb stood and Molly found that when Caleb didn’t slouch they were nearly of a height. 

“Thank you Doctor Tamara.” Caleb said gently. He reached out and shook her hand. 

“Thank you Caleb, for trusting me with your cat.” She said. Molly knew she worked closely with the Cafe before, when Trinket had gotten hurt. She smiled at them and vanished into the back of the clinic. 

“Come on darling, let’s get you home.” Molly said, jingling his keys. “It’s been a long day for you.” Molly led him out of the clinic and back to the car. 

“Ja. It is my first day outside.” Caleb admitted. “The world is….much bigger than I thought.” He admitted. Caleb climbed into the car and started playing with the ring as soon as he was buckled in. 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Molly asked as they pulled away. They had just enough time to beat the worst of the LA traffic if they stuck to the freeway. 

“Is it bad to say I do not know yet?” Caleb gave a tiny huff, the echo of a shadow of a laugh. 

“No.” Molly said. “If anything it’s a good thing. Means you’re being honest.” He pulled onto the freeway and floored it to get into the diamond lane. There was no way he wasn’t taking the HOV lane when he could. “Means you’re not lying to me, telling me what you think I want to hear. It’s a step in the right direction.” He reached out and gently squeezed Caleb’s knee. 

“Would it upset you so much, if I lied to you?” Caleb asked gently. “Even if the truth is not what you wanted to hear?” His mind brought up the sounds of screams and crackling flames. 

“Yes.” Molly said without pause. “I’d rather have the hard truth than a pretty lie. I’ve had enough of lies to last the rest of my life.” He took a deep breath to keep the anger out of his voice. “And if you lie to me, that means you may be in some position that makes you uncomfortable and darling I would rather cut my balls off than make you uncomfortable.” 

“No you don’t.” Caleb shook his head. “I have seen a man’s balls get cut off.” 

“It’s a figure of speech and - what the fuck?” Molly asked in horror. “You know what, no, let’s talk about this another day, yes?” Molly couldn’t handle the story of how Caleb had seen a man castrated. What the fuck kind of place had he lived in before escaping? “My point still stands. Don’t lie to me. Ever. I will never get angry with you for telling me the truth. I want you tell me, even if you are convinced I will get mad. Alright?” Molly glanced at Caleb, and found the other man was looking at Molly in a mix of awe and confusion. 

Who was this man to ask Caleb to tell the truth, even if it made him angry? How could Molly want to hear what would anger him? Caleb didn’t understand, not really. He doubted he even would. He dug his fingers into the cat’s soft fur and nodded. 

“Ja.” He said. “I will.” 

“Good. I like hearing you speak German, by the way.” Molly took the chance to get out of their lane before the offramp. “It means you’re getting more comfortable.” 

Caleb brought up a finger and dragged it across his lips gently. 

“I had forgotten what speaking it was like.” He admitted. 

“And what is it like?” Molly asked as he pulled into the back of the cafe. 

“It feels like coming home.” Caleb admitted. “Thank you for today, Mollymauk.” 

“No problem Caleb.” Molly beamed at him and Caleb felt his heart trip in his chest again. “Hey, can you text me later? I want to know how you’re doing.” 

“Why?” He asked as he climbed out of the cafe, crate in one hand and Frumpkin on his shoulders. 

“Because you’re my friend. And I worry about my friends.” Molly said gently. He reached out his hand for a shake and Caleb grabbed Molly’s forearm. 

“Like this. Here.” He put the crate down and ducked back into the car, moving Molly’s hand to grasp his own forearm. He tightened his grip on Molly’s arm and he felt Molly do the same. 

“What’s the significance of this?” Molly asked. 

“In the Compound, this is how the men would greet each other.” Caleb said. “It’s a meeting of equals.” 

“Equals.” Molly said softly. “I like that.” He squeezed Caleb’s arm once more before letting go. Caleb found himself loathe to let go of Molly’s hand, from either touch starvation or the perverted desire to feel Molly’s hands on him. 

“I’ll see you Friday. For her birthday party.” Molly threw the car into reverse, backed up and left. 

 

“So, did you do the homework?” Vex asked him the next day, later into their session. He had talked all about Molly, how kind he was, how confusing he was, how Caleb wanted to see more of him yet keep him at arm’s distance at the same time, how Caleb couldn’t stop thinking about him. Caleb was worried that he spent too much time talking about Molly, and about how obvious his little crush was. Thankfully, Vex didn’t bring it up. 

“I have, yes.” Caleb said. “I could only think of one thing.” He admitted. 

“That’s fine. That’s still one thing you like about yourself.” She said with a smile. He liked making Vex smile. He liked Vex and he liked her laugh and he liked her smile. She was pretty and he could tell from the lines around her eyes that her life hadn’t been easy, and he wanted to make her smile. 

Perhaps Molly was rubbing off on him. 

“My mind.” Caleb said gently. He tapped his temple. “It’s the best thing I have. I can remember anything, you know? Everything I had read or seen or done or lived through. It’s all up here and I can never forget it.” 

“That’s a blessing.” Vex said. 

“And a curse.” Caleb replied. He sunk into the couch and sighed. Frumpkin stood on his kind legs and headbutted Caleb gently. He muttered to the cat in German, petting him. 

“With the things you’ve seen I don’t doubt it.” Vex admitted. “You haven’t told me much about what you’ve lived through.” 

“No. I haven’t.” He looked out the window.

He could see the traffic winding along the street and he watched the people at the bus stop nearby. There was a mother holding her child on her hip, bouncing the toddler up and down, smiling at her son. There was an elderly couple, holding hands as they waited for the bus. There was a young man, headphones on, bobbing his head as he scribbled in a notebook. Caleb watched a two young people walk their dog, the dog running about and sniffing things with joy. It was a little slice of a life, one that was normal to them but new and exciting to Caleb. 

“Will you tell me a story of something?” Vex asked. She toed off her shoes and looked at Caleb. 

“Do you want a happy one or a sad one? Perhaps something scary?” Caleb asked gently. 

“Whichever you like.” Vex said. “Something that sticks out in that memory of yours.” 

Caleb glanced out the window and saw that the young boy was petting the dog while the young man in the headphone flirted with one of the girls. 

“Would you like to hear about the time I helped deliver a baby?” He asked gently. 

“Yes, Caleb. I would.” Vex leaned forward, elbows at her knees, chin in her hands, waiting. 

“There weren’t that many books allowed in the Center.” He started. “Most of them that were there were medical textbooks and canning guides and things for the women. I was one of the few men who chose to read them.” He explained. “I like reading. I always have.” 

“Well, there was a woman, a girl really. No older than sixteen. She was married off and she got pregnant. It was her first pregnancy. The man she had been given to was not a gentle man. He was a brute. She was small and terrified and this was her first child. Her name was Tracy.” He still remembered her, pale and wane, belly large as she fed the chickens. 

“She went into labor in the dead of winter. The snows were four feet thick on the ground. I was unmarried at the time, and I wasn’t allowed in the married people’s quarters.” He explained. “I…. I heard the screaming for days. I was with…I was….” He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue speaking. 

“I was with the Ikaton, when the eldest woman, Camille, showed up and begged permission to take Tracy to the hospital. It was a breech birth, you see, and Camille didn’t know how to deliver a backwards baby.” 

“But you did?” Vex guessed. 

“I do.” Caleb said, with a smile and a touch of pride in his voice. “I do know how to deliver a breech birth.” He took a sip of his coffee and continued speaking. 

“I begged the Ikathon to be allowed into the birthing chamber. I said I might be able to save the life of the child and the mother. That, if the baby was a son, it would be a new boy for the Center to bring up in the ways a man, to fight and to hunt and lead and protect, and if it was a girl she could be raised to nurture and provide. I could save Tracy’s life, and bring more children into the world.” Caleb said. 

“He told me….God…” He ran his hand over the back of his head, flinching as the words flooded his memory. “He said that…that if I failed to save the child, I would be punished according to the sex. That, if it was a girl I’d only get a whipping. If it was a boy, I’d be thrown into the cells.” His hands trembled with fear at that. 

“He said…The Ikathon told me that the mother, that Tracy, that my friend, was of the least concern.” Caleb said. “I was escorted into the birthing room and God…..there was so much blood. She was weak, she had been in labor for three days, you see? Three days of trying to bring this new life into the world.” Caleb pointed out. 

“I stayed by her side for six hours, and in the end…” He broke into a wide, happy smile. “In the end she had a healthy, squalling baby boy. And she lived.” 

Vex was smiling ear to ear. 

“He was named Jacob, after me.” Caleb said. Vex frowned a bit. 

“Your name is Caleb.” She said. 

“Not there. I was stripped of the name Caleb Widogast, and given the name Jacob. No surname. I had to earn a surname. I ended up being Lifebringer.” He smiled a bit. 

“You’re proud of that.” Vex said.

“Yes. How could I not be?” Caleb said with a small huff. “I helped bring a new soul, a new human being, into this world. I saved one life and helped start another.” He said simply. “It was…terrifying and bloody and exhausting work, but in the end I learned about the strength of women, of people who carry life inside of them. I could never have done what Tracy did.” Caleb explained. “And she was pregnant two months later.” 

“Two months?” Vex blinked in surprise. 

“Yes. A girl. The birth went smoothly. After little Jacob was born, I ended up being there for all the births. They went well with Camille and I there.” Caleb said softly. “It was eventually one of my favorite parts of living there.” 

“What do you mean?” Vex asked. 

“No matter how many times I helped deliver a child, I ended up breathless in awe every time. It’s….nearly magical, seeing a new human being brought into the world.” Caleb explained. 

“You found a joy in it.” Vex explained. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I did.” 

“That’s good. We all need to find joy.” Her phone beeped and she sighed. “Thank you for sharing with me Caleb. Next Monday I want you to tell me two things you enjoy, alright?” 

“More homework?” 

“More homework.” Vex said, rising and opening the door. Yasha was on the other side and she blinked at the sight of Caleb smiling. 

“Have a good day, Vex’ahlia.” He rose and left the room, Frumpkin trotting at his heels. Frumpkin ran into his room and he shut the door before sitting on his bed. 

He wondered if he could text Molly. He wanted to talk to Molly. He wanted Molly to hear about how Caleb used to deliver babies among all the other terrible things at the Compound. He wanted Molly to know that his former life hadn’t been all pain and misery. His hand was halfway to his phone before he wondered if he was allowed to text Molly. If he was allowed to call his friend. He pulled his hand back, cradling it to his chest. 

No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t allowed to want. Wanting is coveting and coveting is greed and greed is what will bring about the End. 

Caleb leaned against the wall, curled into himself, head on his knees, trying to fight the urge to talk to his friend.


	5. Of Parties, Drinking Games, and Midnight Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau has a birthday. Games happen. Confessions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with traumatic events that are mentions such as beatings, whippings, and mentions of child death.

Caleb dithered. Parties weren’t allowed at the Compound and before his life there he hadn’t really had any friends. He turned his gift over in his hands, wondering if he could just run the fuck away. He could throw the gift into the pile and hide. He was about to do just that when he heard Fjord’s unsteady gait up the steps. 

“Caleb? Everythin’ alright?” The big cowboy asked. He rubbed at his thigh. Fjord looked ashen and tired, and Caleb could see the bags under his eyes. He had heard Fjord’s nightmares last night, and he had heard Jester talking to him softly. They were close, close enough to make Caleb think they were more than just friends. 

“I….I do not do well in social situations.” He confessed softly. Fjord just laughed gently, his massive shoulders heaving. 

“None of us do. You’ll fit right in.” Fjord yawned into his shoulder. His tanktop shifted and Caleb saw the scars running down his ribs. He glanced up to Fjord’s face and averted his gaze. 

“I-I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have looked.” He muttered. 

“No. It’s alright.” Fjord pulled up his shirt and exposed the truly nasty-looking scar, running down his ribs and over his stomach. “The bull that took m’ leg gave me that.” He explained. “I nearly died.” 

“The bull?” Caleb’s eyes went wide. “Why were you dealing with a bull?” He asked. 

“I was ridin’ the circuit. I needed the win.” Fjord said softly. “An’ how do you know about bulls?” 

“Fjord, I lived on a Compound that off the grid and able to provide for nearly one hundred people.” He said. “I have dealt with animals.” 

“I didn’t know that.” Fjord said, impressed. He rested against the wall, taking the weight off his bad leg. 

“There is a lot you do not know about me, Fjord.” Caleb’s accent made him pronounce the ‘j’ in his friend’s name. 

“Well that’s goin’ to change. Come on, Jester’ll get antsy if we’re late.” Fjord stood and shouldered the door open. 

“Ah yes, mustn't make the girlfriend angry.” Caleb muttered as he followed Fjord to the rooftop. 

“She ain’t my girlfriend.” Fjord grumbled. “Hey there little lady.” He shot Jester a smile. 

“Oh yes, how could I forget you call every woman you meet ‘little lady’.” Caleb snarked. 

“Did you make a joke?” Fjord asked. 

“Yes. I do have a sense of humor. Why is everyone surprised when I make a joke?” Caleb asked, huffy. 

“Because you act like a bit of a stick in the mud most of the time.” Jester nodded. She stacked up some firewood next to the pit as Nott dragged over a case of beer. 

“Not that that’s a bad thing.” Yasha said, looming from the shadows. It was close to sunset, they had closed the Cafe early, and now they were just waiting on Beau to get back from the gym and for Molly to show up. Molly was due any moment and he had the cake, apparently. Caleb sat down on a bench near the firepit, and felt awkward. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Frumpkin curled up next to him and pet the cat gently, looking out over the Los Angeles cityscape. Their Cafe was closer to the ocean than to the rest of the city, and if he looked closely he could make out the buildings that defined downtown LA, and if he really really looked, he could see the vague smudge that may have been the Hollywood sign. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake, here.” Nott said, shoving a beer into his hand. “Just drink something and try to relax. It’s a party, not a trial.” She said softly. She jumped onto the bench next to him, her feet swinging over the rooftop. 

They had taken the roof of the cafe and had turned it into a little getaway. They had benches and covered tarps and plants and a grill and a firepit and beanbags and places to hide away from the world up here, and Caleb was growing fond of it. 

The door opened and Caleb turned, hoping it was Molly. It was Beau, sweaty and beaming. 

“What’s up?” She asked, dropping her gym bag as she headed over to them. Her limp was less pronounced then Fjord’s, but Caleb could see it. 

“Hey man, glad you decided to show.” Beau clapped him on the shoulder before pulling Nott into a one-armed hug. 

“Ugh you’re sweaty!” Nott whined. “Let me go!” 

“Never!” Beau cried with joy as Nott wriggled from her grip. Nott dropped to the roof and scampered away. Caleb covered his mouth to hide his smile as he watched Beau approach Nott with her hands outstretched. Nott, somehow, whipped out a knife and pointed it at Beau who backed up.

“Okay, okay, I’ll back off.” Beau said. She limped over to the beer chest and flung it open. “Where’s Molly?” 

“He is not here yet.” Caleb couldn’t keep the worry from his voice. 

“You two seem to be getting close.” Beau sat on the bench. Her legs were spread and her elbows were resting on her knees and it was a very masculine position. Caleb knew that back at the Compound that would have gotten her beaten, but here it seemed as natural as breathing. 

“He is very friendly.” Caleb said, avoiding the question. 

“Yeah, but I’ve never seen him like this.” Beau said, looking over her beer at Caleb. 

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked. He took a sip of his own and glanced down to it. It was an American brand, and it was passable. 

“He’s friendly to all the new comers, but you? You’re getting the full special treatment.” She reached down and popped her leg off, rubbing at the stump. She rolled down the little nylon sock that kept chaffing away and let it air out. “You got the red carpet special. A new phone, a day out, special visits, the whole shebang.” She took another sip. 

“He must really like you.” She said gently. 

“He is just being nice.” Caleb shook his head softly. 

“Why do you say that?” Beau said. “Dude’s nice to everyone but he’s trying to make real friends with you. Shit, I’d say he has a cr-” 

There was a bang and an obnoxious tooting noise as Molly threw the door open, box in one hand, a cake tray in the other, and a party horn in his mouth. Caleb couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face or how his heart flipped in his chest. 

“Oh shit.” Beau muttered, glancing from his face to Molly. 

“What is going on my darlings? Sorry I’m late, traffic was hellish!” Molly flounced over to the table and set the cake down and kissed Jester’s offered cheek. 

“Caleb, can you be a dear and help me get the food from my car? I can’t carry it by myself.” Molly smiled at Caleb. Anything to get Caleb alone and check up on him. He had gone radio silent for two whole days and Molly was worried. 

“Ja. Of course.” He set his beer down and followed Molly down the steps. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Molly asked, grabbing his elbow gently. 

“Ja, of course. Why would I not be?” Caleb asked. 

“You didn’t or anything. I got worried about you.” Molly said, his gray eyes searching Caleb’s face. 

“I am sorry Molly. I did not mean to worry you.” Caleb said. 

“I know. I know. I just….Caleb I worry for you.” Molly reached out and cupped Caleb’s cheek. “You went quiet and I didn’t know if you want me to contact you or if you wanted to be alone.” He traced Caleb’s cheekbone with his thumb and watched as Caleb melted under the touch. The other man stepped closer and grabbed Molly’s hips. 

“I….I wanted…I wanted….” His breathing grew heavy and the hands on Molly’s hips started to shake. “Scheisse why is this so difficult?” Caleb struggled. 

“What did you want?” Molly asked. “It’s alright to want, you know.” 

“Iwantedtotalktoyou.” Caleb breathed it out in one breath. “I…I missed you, Molly.” Caleb admitted. 

“Darling, you can contact me any time you’d like.” Molly smiled. He felt Caleb’s hands loosen on his hips. “Caleb, I’d like you to contact me. Anytime. Is it alright if I contact you?” He looked Caleb in the face. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I’d….I’d like it if you did.” 

Molly noticed that Caleb didn’t panic when he phrased it that way. Interesting. 

“Good.” Molly said gently. “Now, let’s get the food out of the car.” He reached up and kissed Caleb’s forehead gently. 

Caleb blinked in shock and then a low whine fell from his throat. He wanted to tilt his head and kiss Molly but he didn’t know how to go about it. He didn’t know if it was allowed, if Molly liked men too, or even how to go about starting a kiss. Instead he just backed up a bit and headed down the steps. 

God, why had Molly kissed his forehead? What the fuck was wrong with him? Caleb was still in the early stages of healing, and kissing him on the forehead was fucking stupid? Why had he done it? Why? Molly swore at himself as they grabbed the boxes of Thai from the car and headed back up to the roof. 

He watched as Caleb paused to grab a book and tuck it under his arm. 

“What do you like to read?” Molly asked. He wanted to do something nice for Caleb. To get him something that he would really use, something for him. 

“Anything.” Caleb said. “I have read so many different things. I just like books.” 

“The bigger the better?” Molly asked. “I’m a size queen myself so I know what that’s like.” He flirting without thinking. Why Molly’s mouth run when he was nervous? Why did Caleb make him nervous? God he was a nervous wreck. 

“Was that a penis reference?” Caleb asked over his shoulder as he set down the food. 

“Yes.” Molly bragged. 

“I do not wanna know.” Beau said. “It’s my birthday so no dick jokes.” 

“Well, there goes nintey percent of my comedy. Goodnight, folks.” Molly bowed and turned to leave. He felt Caleb’s hand on his thigh, his long fingers tight against the inside of his leg. 

“Don’t go Molly.” Caleb said. Molly turned and saw Caleb looking up at him. He reached down and brushed a strand of Caleb’s hair away. 

“Well, since you were the one to ask.” He shot Caleb a wink and pulled out a tub of curry. Molly was so invested in divving up the food and making sure Caleb got a bite of everything he didn’t see the look that passed between Nott and Beau. 

Yasha got the firepit going and Nott settled in next to Caleb and Frumpkin was padding around begging for scraps and Molly’s leg was pressed against Caleb’s own and his head was swimming from the beer and his lips were tingling from the curry and Caleb caught himself half smiling. 

Was this was happiness was? 

He watched Jester toss a dumpling over the fire and into Beau’s mouth and watched as Beau cheered. He watched as Molly tried only to hit Beau square in the forehead with a dumpling. He watched as Beau picked it up, brushed some dirt off and ate it. He watched as Molly called Beau a garbage person and he watched the others laugh. He wasn’t tense, he wasn’t paranoid, he wasn’t watching his back and keeping an eye out for shadows. He leaned into Molly’s body as he put an arm around Nott. 

There was an odd warmth in his chest, curling around his heart like a flame. 

Was this happiness? When was the last time he felt this? How long could this last? 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Nott asked, looking up at him. 

“You know…I think…I think I might be happy.” Caleb said softly. “I can’t remember really the last time I was this content.” 

“I’m glad you’re happy.” Nott said. She patted his thigh gently. 

“Is this….is this what being happy is supposed to be like?” He asked her. 

“Yes.” Nott said. “I’ve chosen to stay here, at the Cafe, even after everyone was locked up and the trial was done. I like it here. I’m happy here.” 

“I am glad you are here, Nott.” Caleb said truthfully. “I am glad that I met you.” 

“And I’m glad that I met you too.” Nott said. 

“I want to play a game!” Jester jumped up. Fjord and Beau had taken their legs off and were enjoying the feeling of them off. Caleb could see that Fjord’s leg had much more scarring that Beau’s did. 

“I want to play Never Have I Ever!” 

“No, Jester that’s not fair!” Molly whined. 

“No, now that Molly doesn’t wanna play I wanna play!” Beau said. “And it’s my birthday!” 

“I beg pardon, but what is Never Have I Ever?” Caleb asked. Heads turned to him and Jester grinned a wicked grin. 

“Alright, so it’s a drinking game!” Jester flipped open the crate of beer and passed fresh ones around. “We start off with someone who says ‘Never have I ever’ and then says something they haven’t done. If a person in the circle has done it, they drink!” Jester said. 

“How do you win?” Caleb asked. 

“By being the last person to get shift-faced.” Molly said, glancing at Caleb. 

“I do not know…..” Caleb said. “There is not….” He searched for the words. “There is not a lot of shared life experience between us all.” 

“C’mon Caleb, it’s a learnin’ experience.” Fjord grumbled. “Gives you the chance to learn about us and us the chance to learn about you.” 

“Yeah dude, lighten up.” Beau said. “Relax a bit.” 

“It is only a game, Caleb.” Yasha said softly. Beau was resting her weight against the larger woman, her bad leg curled up under her good one. 

“You do not have to play if you don’t want too, but it would be nice to see you have fun, Caleb.” Jester pointed out. 

“I don’t know…” Caleb muttered. 

“Hey. Look at me?” Molly asked. Caleb turned to look at him and the moment their eyes connected the world fell away. “Would you like to learn more about us?” 

“Yes. I would.” He wanted to learn all he could about Molly. 

“Would you like to cut loose? Have a little fun?” Molly grinned. Caleb watched the way Molly’s nose crinkled up and Caleb couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face. 

“I would, ja.” He said. 

“Holy shit he’s smiling.” Beau muttered softly. 

“Hush, sweetling.” Yasha replied. 

“Would you like to have fun with me?” Molly asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. 

“Would you like to play with us?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb decided. “Ja I will play.” 

Jester whooped and jumped up and down and Caleb saw the way Fjord’s eyes watched her ass. She handed him a fresh beer and sat down. 

“We should go by age. Youngest to oldest. I’m two, so I get to go first.” Molly said.

“Well, it is Beau’s birthday so she should go first!” Jester said. 

“Next birthday I’ll get you a Barbie card.” Beau said. Molly flipped Beau the finger and she flipped him two back. 

“Caleb, give me your hand.” Molly reached for Caleb’s hand and he pulled it back. 

“You will not involve me in your petty sibling rivalry, Mollymauk.” Caleb muttered. 

Molly gasped in mock-shock, covering his chest with a hand. “Did you just call my long-time feud with Beau “petty”?” He asked. Truth be told, he had been using flipping Beau the finger as an excuse to hold Caleb’s hand. 

“Yes. And I will do so again.” Caleb turned to Molly to face him. “Petty.” He said. 

A low chill went down Molly’s spine at the way Caleb’s voice sounded. His accent was as thick as the June Gloom fog that hung over the city, and Molly wanted to know what Caleb would sound like when he was buried balls-deep in Molly’s ass. 

“Alright alright let’s start.” Beau said. She cleared her throat. 

“Never Have I Ever kissed a dude.” She laughed. Nott, Jester and Molly groaned and took a pull from their beer. 

“You’ve caught me kissing a dude!” Molly protested.

“I know. I just wanted to make you drink.” She teased. “Yash, your turn.” 

“Never Have I Ever…” Yasha hummed as she thought. “Never Have I Ever thrown a grenade.” She glanced to Beau who swore and took a drink. Caleb lifted his beer and took a sip. People turned to him, eyebrows raised. 

“It was for practice. It was a dummy grenade, but it was still a grenade.” He explained. 

“Mine was live.” Beau said. “Overseas in the Middle East.” 

“Alright alright, my turn my turn!” Jester beamed. “Never Have I Ever….” She picked up a dumpling and ate it. “Never Have I Ever drunk milk right from the gallon.” 

“The fuck? That’s normal.” Fjord took a sip along with everyone else. 

“No, it’s disgusting, Fjord. I am not drinking from the milk in the fridge again.” Jester said. 

“Nott, your turn!” Jester said. 

“Oh…um…Never….Never have I ever…” She bit her lip, thinking. “Fuck. Oh! Never have I ever done a strip tease!” 

“You got me.” Molly drank and Caleb blushed bright red. God, his mind was working overdrive with that little fact. He was barely aware that Jester was lowering her beer bottle as Fjord coughed on his drink and telling him it was his turn. 

“Oh…um..” He could really only think of one thing. He was loathe to admit it, but there wasn’t much common ground here. Caleb took a deep breath and said it. 

“Never….” He swallowed. He felt Molly’s eyes on him. “Never have I ever been kissed.” He admitted. 

“You’re married.” Jester said. 

“Yeah dude, don’t lie.” Beau said. 

“He’s not.” Molly said, jumping to his defense. “He promised me he wouldn’t.” He felt Molly turn to him. 

“Darling, why haven’t you been kissed?” Privately Molly thought that Caleb had a mouth meant for kissing. A mouth meant for kissing and sucking cock and laughing and smiling and a thousand other things. 

“She…Lucy…my wife….” Caleb said. “My wife likes women. And I….” 

Caleb swallowed, knowing he had to say it. It was like ripping off a bandage. He knew he was in safe company here. He knew that Molly liked men and women both and that Beau liked women only and that everyone else was somewhere in between. He knew he was safe here, but his hands were shaking nonetheless. He took his beer and drained it, his head falling back before taking a deep breath. 

“And I do not like women.” He admitted. He felt his shoulders release some of the tension that they held. Caleb had been holding that inside of him for so long it was as if a damn had broken. 

“I do like women. I never have. I never will.” He said. “So how could I force myself on someone I do not want and who does not want me back?” Caleb’s hands were shaking still and he reached into the cooler and snagged another beer, draining half in one go. 

“Pay the fuck up.” Beau said, holding her hand out to Fjord. 

“M’ wallet is in my room.” Fjord grumbled, glowering at Beau. 

“I….what?” Caleb asked, watching this. 

“I bet him twenty bucks you were gay. I was right. Pay the fuck up.” She smacked Fjord’s bicep. 

Molly didn’t hear their bickering. He was too busy looking at Caleb, his eyes wide as his head spun. 

Caleb was gay. 

Caleb liked men. 

Caleb had never been kissed. 

Molly stood a chance to be the first person ever to kiss Caleb. 

And, God help him, he wanted too. He wanted to be the first to kiss Caleb, to touch him, to show him how wonderful sex between people could be. He wanted to show Caleb everything, to taste him and see what Caleb looked like when he was riding Molly’s cock, to know how Caleb sounded when he was lost in the throes of his own pleasure. 

“Molly?” Caleb asked gently. “Are you alright?” 

“Oh darling, I’m just dandy.” Molly drained his beer and grabbed another one. 

“Caleb I just wanted to say thank you for sharing that with us.” Jester said. “I do not know what you’ve been through, or how you have survived, but it was obviously very scary coming out to us, so I just wanted to tell you thank you for trusting us enough to share that part of you with us!” Jester beamed at Caleb. 

“You are very welcome, Jester.” Caleb shot her that broken half-smile of his and Molly’s heart ached. 

“Molly! Your turn!” Jester beamed. 

“Alright.” Molly said. “Never Have I Ever drunk water out of the hose like a fucking heathen.” He looked at Beau. 

“Hey, fuck off!” She took a pull from her beer and pointed to Caleb who was drinking. “See! He does it too! It’s normal!” 

“Caleb’s not normal. None of us are normal!” Nott said. “ I worked for the mafia! Beau, you used to kill people for a living! Fjord rode bulls with clamps on their testicles! None of us are normal!” She pointed out. 

“Caleb why did you drink hose water?” Molly asked in shock. 

“The fields were very large and the harvest is heavy work.” He said with a tiny shrug. 

“My turn.” Fjord said. “Never have I ever stolen the fuckin’ mail.” He turned to Beau who glared at him. 

“I trusted you.” She took a pull of her beer. 

“Was it an Amazon truck? Please tell me it was an Amazon truck!” Molly laughed. He leaned into Caleb and Caleb found his arm wrapping around Molly’s hips and holding him close. 

“No. It was my CO’s mail. I opened the envelopes up, replaced all the mail in them with pictures of Shrek, and then closed them back up.” She laughed. Jester laughed and Molly wheezed with laughter, his stomach hurting. 

“Why?” Caleb asked. 

“Shits and giggles, mostly.” Beau laughed. “Alright…..Never Have I Ever…Never Have I Ever worn another person’s fake leg.” 

Everyone in the circle drank. 

“Okay, switch up. I want your leg.” Beau made grabby hands at Fjord who just chuckled. 

“Why the fuck do you wanna wear my leg? It ain’t gonna fit.” He reached down and unsnapped the hard plastic and passed it to Beau. She slid hers over and slid his on. 

“Dude what the shit why is your leg so heavy?” She rose on her feet, unsteady. Fjord had lost his left leg, and Beau had lost her right, so her right side was pitched higher than her left. She wobbled about as Fjord refused to stand. 

“Why is yours made of spit an’ bird bones?” He bitched. “If I stand I’ll break it.” 

Beau tipped and started to fall, but Yasha caught her. 

“There. No harm done.” Yasha said gently. Beau winked at Yasha and slid back into her seat. She didn’t give Fjord his leg back though. 

“Never Have I Ever….” Yasha said. “Never have I ever killed and eaten an animal.” She said. Caleb and Fjord both drank. 

“The Compound was self-sufficient.” Caleb explained.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Jester beamed. “Never Have I Ever sucked dick in an alley and gotten arrested for it!” She pointed to Molly. 

“How was I supposed to know he pinned me to a cop car!” Molly said. Everyone laughed as Caleb tucked his face into his shirt to hide his gaze. 

“Drink up, bitch!” Beau laughed as Molly took a pull from his beer. They all laughed as Nott struggled to think of something. 

“Don’t think less of me Caleb.” Molly said. “I beg of you.” He said softly into the shell of Caleb’s ear. 

“How can I?” Caleb said. “As long as it was something you wanted.” 

“I didn’t want to get arrested.” Molly pointed out. 

“No..not that. The…ah…other bit.” Caleb said. 

“Oh, you mean the part where I was sucking cock?” Molly said. Caleb blushed and nodded. “Well don’t worry that pretty head of yours, darling. I am happiest on my knees.” 

Caleb’s eyes went wide and he ducked his head, trying to ignore the images that his mind gave him. God, he wondered what Molly looked like on his knees. 

“Got it!” Nott said. “Never Have I Ever run drugs up from Mexico!” 

The group was silent and nobody drank. 

“Nott, the fuck?” Beau asked. 

“Well that’s a good thing!” Jester said, nodding. “Caleb, your turn!” Jester curled up on her bench, tucking her toes under herself. 

“Ah.” Caleb said. “Never Have I Ever….” He frowned. He wanted to find something that would get the others to drink, that would get Molly to drink. “Never Have I Ever…..” He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he thought. 

God, what to say? 

“This is difficult.” He admitted. “If it was the other way around, things I have done that none of you have, you would all be drunk in two minutes.” He laughed. 

“Come on, don’t brag.” Beau rolled her eyes. Something about her tone set off Caleb’s temper. Perhaps it was the way she brushed off what he had been through. Perhaps it was the way she assumed he was lying. Perhaps it was the way she said he was bragging. His spine stiffened and his jaw clenched. 

“Oh? You think I am bragging? Never have I ever seen a man castrated. Never have I ever seen a fourteen year old die in childbirth. Never have I ever gone three weeks without food. Never have I ever seen measles take a child’s life. Never have I ever been hung by my wrists in chains until the bones were bruised. Never have I ever failed to save a friend’s life. Never have I ever-” He forced himself to stop. He was breathing hard and his hands were shaking and tears filled his eyes. 

His mind flashed those memories over and over, playing them like a movie. He was unable stop thinking about burying the children he had failed to save, of way his friends had died, of the screams of those being punished as he was ordered to punish them, of the cells, of the creeping blackness seeping into his lungs as he hung by his wrists until he had no more tears left to cry. 

Shit. 

He had ruined Beau’s birthday. He got from the bench and headed down into the dorms, back to his room, away from this. 

“What the fuck.” Beau muttered. 

“Caleb, wait.” Molly said. He flew off the bench and stumbled as the door to the stairs shut. He was drunk now, his head was spinning and his bones felt like rubber. He scrambled to his feet and headed to the door. He flung it open. 

“Caleb? Caleb darling, wait.” He was drunk and uncoordinated and his ankle turned. He was drunk and he wasn’t able to catch himself and he found himself falling. 

Caleb heard Molly’s voice and ignored it. He wanted to see Molly but he didn’t want to see the pity or shame or judgement in Molly’s face. He heard a crash and then silence. 

“Molly?” He asked softly, peeking out of his room. 

There at the base of the steps, he saw Molly’s tattooed hand laying on the floor. 

“Oh God.” He scrambled out of his room, remembering everything he had ever read about head trauma. He turned the corner there was Molly, struggling to sit up. 

“No, don’t sit up.” Caleb sat down next to him, running his hands over Molly’s body. He ran his hands over Molly’s arms and legs and chest, feeling for breaks. “God, are you alright?” He asked. He cupped Molly’s face and checked his eyes to see if they were dilated or mismatched. There was no obvious sign of a concussion, but there was a bruise already blooming on Molly’s cheek. 

“I’m fine.” Molly said. “Are you alright? I’m sorry, I should never have asked you to play that stupid game.” 

“Me?” Caleb gawked in astonishment. “You just fell down a flight of steps and you are worried for me?” 

“Yes.” Molly said. “I’ve taken hits to the head before. I’ll be fine. But you? Darling you’ve never had an outburst like that.” Molly reached out and cupped Caleb’s cheek. “I’m sorry I pressured you into playing the game.” 

“Molly, you didn’t pressure me. I wanted to play.” Caleb said gently. “I wanted to get to know you all.” He sat down on his haunches, his hands roaming Molly’s body still. “I wanted to play. I am sorry I lost my temper with Beau and ruined her birthday. But I am not sorry that I played.” 

“Hey, you didn’t ruin it.” Beau said from the stairwell. “I…uh…I was a shit.” She admitted. “Oh, and as for failing to save a friend’s life?” She lifted her beer and took a sip before walking away. 

“Do you want come join the party?” Molly asked. 

“After I see to you.” Caleb rose and gently tugged Molly to his feet. “Come on. To the couch.” He guided Molly to the couch and sat him down before rummaging through the freezer. He knew that Fjord kept frozen veggies in there and sure enough, there was a bag of peas. He wrapped it in a towel and sat down next to Molly. 

“You don’t need to do this.” Molly muttered. 

“Hush Molly.” Caleb pressed the bag to Molly’s cheek and the other man groaned. “We need to make sure the swelling does not get too bad. We cannot mar your pretty face.” 

“You think I’m pretty?” Molly grinned. Oh yes, he was drunk. He was drunk, had fallen down a flight of stairs and now he was flirting with Caleb. Caleb said nothing, just gave the little huff through his nose that passed for a laugh. 

“I’m going to get you to laugh one day.” Molly said. He always rambled when he was drunk. “I want to hear you laugh. I bet you have a great laugh. Your smile is enough to stop the world, to dim the stars, to make the planets cease to move. But your laugh? God I’m willing to bet your laugh could bring down kingdoms and tear the world asunder.” 

“You are drunk, Molly.” Caleb chided softly. Something new was blooming in his chest, behind his sternum. Nobody had ever spoken to him like that before. Nobody had looked at him like Molly was looking at him; like he a god come down from the heavens. 

“I know. Doesn’t mean I’m lying.” Molly said. He rested his hand on Caleb’s thigh. 

“It just means you have no idea what you saying.” Caleb said. He pulled the peas away and sure enough, the swelling was going down. “I need to check for fractures. This will hurt.” He pressed his fingertips to Molly’s cheekbone and the other man jerked his face away, hissing with pain. 

“I am sorry Molly, but this must be done.” He cupped the back of Molly’s head and gently pressed down with his fingers. There was no shifting, no movement, no grinding under his fingers. He ended up with his palm cupping Molly’s cheek and his other hand on the back of his head, fingers tangled in the blue curls. They were pressed together, one of Molly’s hands on his hip, the other on his thigh. 

“You know….what you said earlier about never having been kissed?” Molly said. “I can change that, if you’d like.” 

“You’re drunk.” Caleb mumbled. 

He was drunk, he was talking without thinking, and Molly was a flirt. There was no way that stone cold sober Molly would want to kiss him. What would Caleb even do with a lapfull of Mollymauk? He’s never kissed anyone, he’d be terrible at it. He’d be a terrible kisser and then Molly would hate him forever. 

“Yes. I know. I’m drunk and you’re beautiful and I want to kiss you.” Molly said. “I’d like to kiss you.” His hand moved from Caleb’s thigh to his hair, pushing it out of Caleb’s face. “I like the beard, too. The beard is a good thing.” He ran his thumb along Caleb’s jaw, feeling the stubble prick his finger. 

“Molly. You are drunk.” Caleb said firmly. “You are drunk and you have no idea what you are saying. I will never...I will never bring this up again when you are sober.” 

His hands were shaking and part of him was expecting the Ikathon to show up, or for Astrid to speak from the shadows or Aeodwulf to kick down the door. He was expecting Molly to be hurt and God the thought of them getting their hands on Molly, getting their hands on the spark of pure joy and light that lived in Molly’s soul terrified him. 

“I mean it.” Molly said. “I understand if you never want to discuss it, ever. I will not push. I will not ask you questions or make demands. I just… I just need you to know that if you ever wanted to be kissed or do more than kissing, I am willing.” 

Caleb, always unable to keep himself from asking questions, asked a question. 

“There’s more than kissing?” He blurted out. 

“Oh darling, there’s so much more.” Molly smiled at him. “You know, somehow, in the time I’ve known you…” He muttered. 

“You have become my heart, Caleb Widogast.” Molly mused. 

Caleb felt tears prick his eyes and that odd warm feeling unfurl in his stomach again for the second time that night. He wanted to wrap his arms around Molly and hold him tight. He wanted to kiss him, to hold him close, to do as Molly offered. He knew it was wrong but he wanted it nonetheless. 

“You are drunk.” He repeated. He leaned into the touch of Molly’s hand. He felt Molly lean forward and kiss his forehead again. 

“Yeah. I’m drunk.” Molly said. He was drunk and the fact he adored Caleb hit him like a truck. “Doesn’t change a fucking thing.” He smiled at Caleb. 

Molly was so damn beautiful in the lights of the city that were coming in from the windows it made Caleb’s heart hurt. He couldn’t do a thing about this, about his attraction to Molly. Molly was a force of nature, a whirlwind or a tornado or a hurricane. Caleb was just one tiny soul. One small, insignificant man. 

What he could do against a force like Molly? What would a force like Molly want with him? 

“Come on Molly. Let’s get you home, ja?” Caleb said. 

“Yeah. I need too…fuck my phone is up with my keys.” Molly rose and wobbled a bit. “Gotta call an Uber.”

“Molly, stay here.” Caleb said. He rose and pushed Molly back down to the couch. 

“I like it when you take control.” Molly muttered. “Get handsy more often. I’m gonna lay right here.” He put face back down on the now half-melted peas and splayed on the couch. 

Caleb huffed in laughter again and climbed up the steps. The party was back in full swing, with Beau and Fjord trying to dance while wearing each other’s legs. Caleb saw his gift sitting on the bench and he grabbed it before he grabbed Molly’s phone and keys. 

“I am calling an Uber for Molly. He got hurt and he’s drunk so he is going home.” Caleb said. 

“I hope he’s alright.” Jester said, unable to take her eyes from Fjord, who was shirtless. 

“Ja. He’s fine. He will be bruised, but he will be fine.” Caleb said. “Beauregard. I am sorry I snapped at you.” Caleb said. “Here. Happy birthday.” He held out the box. She grabbed Fjord’s shoulder as she snatched the box up and opened it. 

“Dude, fuck yes!” She crowed with delight. Inside the box was a pair of gloves. They had little plastic nubs on the knuckles, and fit her hands perfectly. “Fucking brass knuckle gloves! Thanks dude!” She punched Fjord in shoulder and he swore. 

“I am going back to take care of Molly. Do not break too many things, Beauregard.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do, Caleb.” She stuck her tongue out at him and Caleb smiled at her a bit. 

“Happy birthday.” And he vanished back to Molly. 

Molly called an Uber and Caleb gave him the key to his apartment (but kept the car keys, thank you) and guided him back down. The car showed up not long after they got Molly outside and Caleb guided him to the backseat. 

“Molly, you will text me when you get home, ja?” Caleb said as he hauled Molly into the backseat. “I need to know if you get home alright.” Surly wanting to know if Molly was alright wasn’t bad? Molly was a friend, and he wanted to make sure that Molly was okay. The Ikathon had said that caring for each other was a blessing, and then when the End came they would only have each other and him to rely on. Wanting Molly safe wasn’t bad. 

Was it? 

“Don’t fret that pretty head, darling. I’ll text you.” Molly turned the driver. “What’s your name man? Anish? Good to meet you Anish, I’m Mollymauk but you can call me Molly!” Caleb shut the door as the car pulled away. 

 

“So Anish, my friend, it’s simple. You treat her like you want to be treated and she will fall for you.” Molly said as his Uber driver guided him to the door of his apartment. He was still drunk and he missed Caleb. He missed Caleb something fierce. 

“Are you sure?” Anish asked. 

“Of course. It’s simple, respect her. Treat her the way you want to be treated. Show her the respect you like to get.” Molly said. He unlocked the door and disentangled himself from the young man. 

“Good luck in med school! I know you can do it!” Molly waved as Anish climbed into his car and puttered away. Molly stumbled into his apartment and past the reading area, through the curtains, and into his bedroom. He wanted his bed and he wanted Caleb, but the bed would have to do for now. He got naked as quickly as he could, pouting and missing Caleb. 

He was drunk and he knew that he falling deeply in love with Caleb. He knew that he was going to end up pining over the other man, hoping and praying that one day he would be confident enough and healed enough to want Molly. 

One day. Hopefully. 

He flopped face first on the bed and grabbed the spare pillow. He wrapped his body around it, tucking his face into the cotton before pulling back in pain. 

“Fuck.” He ran his fingers over the bruise. Caleb had said it would bruise. 

Shit. He had to let Caleb know he got home safe. He flailed about until he found his phone and wriggled into the light of the streetlamp flooding his bed. He took a selfie and sent it to Caleb before rolling over snuggling the good half of his face into the pillow. If he closed his eyes and pretended hard enough, he could almost believe that this was Caleb he was snuggling. 

Caleb was trying to sleep. In reality he was listening to the party going on above him and staring holes into his phone, waiting for Molly. It beeped and he grabbed it, unlocking it. 

There was a text from Molly and he tapped the little envelope. 

_Gottt home safley sleep well handfsome_

There was also a picture. A picture of Molly, shirtless, laying on his back. He was winking at the camera, his spare hand making a peace sign by his eye, his tongue sticking out. There was metal in his tongue and there were metal bars in his nipples and the peacock tattoo worked it’s way down and over his neck and his chest and Caleb could see the planes of Molly’s stomach, the curve of metal in his bellybutton, and the sharp plane of a hipbone before his body was swallowed by the sheets of his bed. 

Oh. 

Caleb couldn’t help the tiny whimper that escaped him. God, he wanted Molly. He ached for Molly. He couldn’t rip his gaze from the photo. Without thinking he saved it to his photo roll and then quickly shoved the phone away. He rolled over onto his stomach and tried to sleep. 

_Caleb knew he was dreaming. Of course he was. How could Molly want him otherwise? Caleb found he didn’t care. Right here, right now, in the dream, he was happy._

_Molly was in his lap, shirtless. Molly was running his hands over Caleb’s chest and back and neck and arms. Molly was kissing him. Awake, Caleb had no idea how a kiss really felt, but in the dream Caleb knew. Kissing Molly felt right. It felt like finding a missing puzzle piece. It felt like coming home. He cupped Molly’s face and kissed him, tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth._

_Molly gasped into his mouth in the dream and he whined. Caleb ran his hands down Molly’s ribs, his thumbs catching on the barbells in Molly’s nipples. Molly gasped, his head falling back. In the dream Molly was talking, telling Caleb how good he was, how good he was making Molly feel, how Molly wanted to please Caleb. In the dream, Caleb tangled his fingers in Molly’s hair and guided his head back. He pressed soft kisses along the pale column of Molly’s neck, laving the pulsepoint with his tongue._

_Molly whined in his lap, writhing. In reality, Caleb had no idea how a cock felt against his own. He hadn’t any idea of how his own felt in his hand, really. But in the dream white-hot pleasure burst in his blood and he gasped. His hands fell from Molly’s hair to his hips, and slowly rocked Molly’s hips against his own._

_Molly’s hands came to rest on either side of Caleb’s head as Molly’s head fell back. He gasped and shuddered in Caleb’s lap. “Oh God, Caleb.”_

Caleb woke to his hips rutting into the mattress, his fingers gripping his pillow in a white knuckle grip, and pure, white-hot pleasure ripping a whine from his throat as he came. 

Horror at what he had just done flooded his veins. 

Oh God, what had he done? He scrambled back, falling off the bed. His sweats were sticking to his thighs and his cock was sensitive still from his orgasm and he was fucked. He was so fucked. He could get away with this if his sheets hadn’t been ruined. The memory of his first wet dream came rushing back to him and he felt switch wrap around his ribs again and again and again, and felt the blood run hot down his skin. He forced himself up, despite his legs feeling like jello and walked to his bed. 

He walked to his bed like a man condemned. He ran his hand over the spot where he had lain and yes, there was a wet spot. 

“Fuck.” Panic pierced his heart and he started to breath heavily as his hands shook.

“Fuck.” He ripped the sheets off as his mind went into panic mode. He knew where Jester kept the spare bedding and he knew where the washing machine was kept. He knew how to work it; Nott had made sure of that. He peeled out of his sweats as his own seed, cold and coagulated at this point, clung to his skin. He whimpered in fear and wiped at his belly and thighs, trembling in terror. 

God, if they caught him he could only imagine the hell that would break loose. If they caught him they would hurt him too. He threw the dirty pants in with the rest of the filth. They were stained now. Stained with his shame and his own lack of self control. 

Self control is the only thing that will save them. Self control keeps wanting at bay. Wanting is coveting and coveting is greed and greed will bring about the End. Caleb threw on a clean pair of pants before bundling up his shame. He pressed his ear to the door to listen. 

There was nobody. He peeked his head out the door and hurried down the empty hall to the common room. Sure enough there was the washer and dryer. He threw his filth into the metal drum and quickly got it washing with shaking hands. As soon as he heard the machine start he headed to the linen closet where Jester kept the spare sheets. He grabbed a set and heard a soft voice behind him. 

“Caleb?” Beau asked gently. “Is everything alright?” 

He curled in on himself, shaking. 

“Bad night?” Beau limped forward. “I get it. The first two months here I had nightmares every night.” She approached him carefully and slowly, like he was a feral animal who might run. “Wake up and the sheet’s be soaked in my own sweat from terror.” She muttered. “Come on, I’ll help you change them. It’s easier with two people to share the load.”   
She took the sheets from him and headed into his bedroom. He followed her. 

“You…are not angry?” He asked, amazed. 

“I’m always grumpy.” She said. “But I’m not grumpy at you.” She put the sheets on the nearly empty desk and dug about the fitted ones. 

“How the fuck Yasha gets these folded I will never know. Have you ever tried to fold a fitted sheet? They belong to the devil.” She bitched. Caleb said nothing, but he tugged out the little twin bed, stepping close to the wall so she could hand him the sheet. 

“Dude, I’m sorry about earlier.” Beau said. “I’m an asshole and a shitty person and I don’t know when to not be a shitty person.” 

“It’s alright. I should not have reacted the way I did.” Caleb said gently. 

“Back to being bros?” She asked. 

“Yes. Back to ‘bros’.” He said. She laughed and held out her fist. “I do not understand…” He muttered. 

“Make a fist and bump mine. It’s a fist bump. Did they not have fistbumps where you came from?” Beau deadpanned. He made a fist and gently bumped his knuckles with hers. She made an exploding noise with her mouth as she pulled her hand away. 

“What was the point of that?” He asked, tucking in a corner of the bed. 

“It’s like a handshake dude.” She shrugged. “So…what’s with you and Molly?” She tucked her corner in and limped up to the head of the bed. Caleb turned bright red and ducked his head, hiding behind his hair. 

“I-I-I-I-what do you mean?” He asked. 

Beau, thankfully, was oblivious to his stuttering. 

“Dude if I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s got a crush on you.” Beau said. “You smiled for him. You don’t smile for anybody.” 

“Not true. I smile for Frumpkin.” The cat chirruped from the top of his kitty tree. 

“Okay, he’s the only human you smile for. You don’t smile for Nott. And you clung to her like a limpet when you first got here.” Beau tugged the sheet to make sure it was tight before grabbed the top sheet. 

“It’s not like that Beauregard.” Caleb said. He bent down and tucked the end of the sheet in, so she wouldn’t have to bend. He’d seen her struggle with kneeling and bending before, and he didn’t want her to do that. 

“Yeah you think like that but dude, he’s got a crush on you or I’m the Queen of England.” 

“Well, your majesty, can you please hand me the comforter?” Caleb asked. Beau blinked a bit in confusion. 

“Did you make a joke?” She asked, passing him the corner of the blanket. 

“Yes. You are all so surprised when I do that.” He tucked the blanket under the mattress. 

“Yeah man. You don’t seem the be the kind of man to make jokes. You seem to be the kind of man fit for fucking rainy days and sad jazz music.” Beau tossed a pillow at him and he caught it. 

“I have no idea what that means.” He said. 

“Just that you look sad like, all the fucking time.” Beau said. “When was the last time you really laughed?” 

“I do not remember.” Caleb confessed. 

“Okay that’s fucking sad.” Beau headed to his door. “Dude I’m gonna get you to laugh one day.” She turned the door knob. 

“You and Molly both.” He said. 

“Yeah me and the dude that’s got a crush on you. Good luck.” With that she vanished back into the dorm. 

Caleb sighed and crawled back into bed. He glanced at his little clock and it read nearly two in the morning. Hopefully he’d get some sleep. Without those damn dreams. Frumpkin hopped down from the cat tree and pawed at Caleb’s hand until he lifted the blankets. The cat curled up under the covers, his body warm and soft next to Caleb, purring up a storm. 

“These were clean you know.” Caleb muttered before wrapping an arm around the cat and drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll and on twitter at Mebeshe4815


	6. Rushes, Pain and Weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly shares a weakness. Words are spoken. Neighbors are nosey.

Molly woke with the taste of death in his mouth and feeling like his head was stuck in a vice. He groaned and his stomach roiled. He took a steady breath and slowly pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. 

He had a bad habit of trying to out-drink Beau every time they drank together. He had gotten the worst hangovers from that, and Molly knew that this was a Beau hangover. He searched for his phone and found it. He dragged it over to find the time only to find that it was dead. 

He forced himself up and his stomach churned. He plugged in his phone and made it to the bathroom before dropping to his knees and puking into the toilet bowl. He waited for the retching to stop before pressing his throbbing head to the cold porcelin. He heard his phone beep saying that it was on and he sighed. 

It could charge while he took care of his hangover. He hated this, but he knew it would help. He reached over and turned on the shower as hot as it could get before flushing the toilet. The sounds made his head throb but he forced himself to brush his teeth and comb his curls out before stepping into the shower. 

He could hear his phone blowing up as he stood under the hottest water he could stand. Slowly he felt his headache fading and he sighed. He didn’t mind the headaches so much, really. It’s the fact they were chronic that got to him. His stomach calmed down as the headache went from “someone’s splitting my skull with a jackhammer” to “light hurts and my head is being squeezed by Thor, god of thunder” which was a marked improvement. 

He ignored the pinging and the beeping and whistling as he got clean. Part of him was listening for Caleb’s ring tone, a meowing cat. He wondered if Caleb would ever feel confident enough to contact him. What the hell had he done last night? He sighed and stepped out of the shower before wiping off the mirror. 

“The fuck?” He prodded at his cheek. There, below his left eye, opposite his peacock feather ink, was a massive deep plum bruise. It had little scrapes around the edge and he wondered what he had done. The last thing he remembered was playing a game of Never Have I Ever and Beau and Fjord switching legs…. 

He really needed to stop partying with Beau. 

He padded softly into the kitchen to grab a Red Bull and crack it before snagging his phone and going through all the shit he missed. There was a photo from Jester, of Beau opening his gift and screaming at him even though he wasn’t there. There was a selfie of Beau holding the strap on and giving him the middle finger. There was a text from Yasha saying thank you for Beau’s gift. There was about fifteen Grindr notifications that Molly ignored. 

There was nothing from Caleb. 

He sighed. He wanted to text Caleb and ask him how he got home. The fact he didn’t remember getting home sent a cold finger of an old fear down his spine. He started to shake and he screwed his eyes shut. 

“Empty. Fuck. Yasha. Beautiful.” He said to himself. He repeated the words in the order that he had first said them, in the way that Vex had taught him. They were the words he had first started to speak, when he had arrived at the Cafe. Slowly the panic fell from his throat and shook his head, hissing at the pain. 

"My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf.” He said. “I give tarot readings for a living. My best friend is Yasha. I used to work at the Trauma Cafe. I have a crush on a man named Caleb Widogast.” Molly stated. “My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf.” 

By the time he finished five things he could remember about himself he was calm and steady. 

He needed to stop getting black out drunk. 

He looked out the window of his apartment and didn’t see his car anywhere. His phone beeped at it was a new text from Yasha. 

_If you can come work a bit when you pick up your car, that would be good. We are swamped._ Molly sighed, knowing he couldn’t leave his friends hanging. 

_Let me get dressed I’ll be there soon_ With a few kissy emoji’s is what he replied with. 

Molly dug out his ‘I feel like shit’ clothes: an old shirt that he got a Ren Faire that was a deep v-neck and some tight jeans that had molded to his curves. The shirt dipped down low enough to show off his collarbones and the scars from the accident, but Molly didn’t care. He felt like death warmed over and he just wanted to sleep for a week, but he had to go and help his friends. He called and Uber as he pulled on his boots. 

When he got there he swore under his breath. He had never seen the Cafe looking like this. He shoved a twenty in the driver’s hand and ducked into the place, not bothering to wait for his change. 

The tiny Cafe was packed with people in suits. Fjord was taking orders at the register, Nott was running food from the ovens to the customers, Yasha and Jester were on drive thru and Beau was at the hand-off point looking she was about to be the first person to murder another human being by beating them to death with a metal steaming pitcher. Molly ducked under the divider and chugged his drink as he pulled an apron on. He rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands before sliding into help Beau. 

“Oh thank God, you deal with them.” She slid over to the second espresso machine. 

“Are you hungover?” He asked her. 

“No.” She lied. “You?” 

“Not at all.” Molly lied. “Shit, we’re out of whip.” 

“Caleb!” Beau shouted. Caleb stepped out onto the line. His shoulders were back and his hair was up in a bun and there was a bit of chocolate powder on his face, but his blue eyes were bright with something akin to confidence and his spine was straight and oh God Molly was so fucked because Caleb was beautiful. 

“Molly! Catch!” Caleb tossed a silver whip cream canister at Molly and he caught it mid-air. 

They worked as team, flawlessly getting the customers calmed down, the orders taken, the drinks made and the food out. Caleb moved between them all, weaving around them as they worked, stocking them with what they needed to make drinks. At one point he was pressed against Molly from behind, a hand on his hip and breathing in Molly’s ear and Molly was very glad for the apron that hid his erection. 

It felt like a lifetime, but eventually the rush left. It was closing time and Beau wasted no time at all hopping the counter and locking the door. 

“Holy shit.” Molly sighed, resting his head on the cold steel of the counter. 

“I’m dying!” Jester collapsed the floor dramatically. 

“You’re not allowed to die before me, darling.” Molly mumbled. 

“Get off the floor Jester, we haven’t had the chance to clean.” Nott grumbled. Caleb shuffled out of the back and leaned against the wall. 

“Fuck.” He muttered. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall and Molly couldn’t take his eyes from him. 

“Seconded.” Fjord said. He shifted, resting his hip on the counter. He rubbed at his left thigh, wincing. 

“Fjord, are you alright?” Jester asked, brown eyes wide with concern. “Are you in pain?” 

It was a mark of how much pain Fjord was in that he made a small face. He was normally stoic, a calm port in a storm, steady as a lighthouse and as sure as the tides. 

For Fjord to grimace and nod meant he must really be in pain. 

“Beau, will you please go up and get-” 

“On it.” Beau rubbed Jester’s hair gently before limping up the steps. Jester wriggled over to Fjord and popped off his leg as Yasha handed him a stool to sit on. Jester rolled down the little sock and the skin of what was left of his leg was raw and angry-looking, even with his dark skin. 

“Oh Fjord, you should have said something.” Jester asked. Beau appeared and she hissed in sympathy. 

“Dude ow.” She said as she passed Jester a little tube of something. 

“Didn’ want to make a fuss.” Fjord mumbled. 

“Fjord, you’re not making a fuss.” Jester took a tiny bit of the cream and gently started working it into the painful-looking skin. “You have to take care of yourself!” 

Molly forced himself up and headed over to Caleb. His head was throbbing and his stomach was churning. He rested against Caleb and let his head fall to Caleb’s shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” Caleb asked gently. “You fell last night and I was worried about you.” He admitted. 

“Oh so that’s what happened.” Molly muttered. “Yes, darling, I’m fine.” 

“Do you not remember?” Caleb asked. 

“No. Last thing I remember is those two morons over there switching limbs. How drunk was I last night?” He rubbed as his temple. Caleb smelled good, like warm aftershave, coffee, whip cream and sweat. He made Molly ache with a need to get on his knees and blow Caleb until he was a writhing mess beneath Molly’s hands and mouth and then cuddle him.

“Drunk enough to fall down the steps when you were chasing me.” Caleb said gently. 

“Why were you running?” 

“I….I snapped at Beau. I said some things I should not have. I left. You fell. I took care of you.” You flirted with me, he thought. “I called you a car and you went home.” 

“I must have been a mess. I never fall when I’m drunk. I’m normally very graceful.” Molly said softly. He laughed and his head throbbed. He groaned and rubbed at it. 

“Headaches again?” Beau asked. 

“Yeah. Feels like shit.” Molly muttered. 

“Headaches?” Caleb asked. 

“Yeah. I get them a lot. That and blurry vision and sometimes I black out. I’m not supposed to drive, technically, but what the DMV doesn’t know won’t hurt them.” Molly said. “Apparently if you get hit hard enough in the head to cause permanent brain trauma it tends to leave physical side effects.” He laughed, and then groaned as his head throbbed. 

“Hail Mary?” Beau asked. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace.” Molly grinned. 

“No. Clean up first, then get stoned.” Nott said. 

“Come on, tomorrow we’re closed.” Beau said. “Can’t we not clean for tonight?” 

“No. Clean and then go get high.” She frowned. They groaned collectively and Fjord slipped the sock and the leg back on. 

“Feeling better?” Jester asked, beaming up at him. 

“I am. Thank you darlin’.” Fjord helped pull her to her feet and Molly sighed. 

“Thanks for being a pillow.” Molly said to Caleb. 

“Anytime, Mollymauk.” Caleb said truthfully. 

They gathered themselves and cleaned. It was a laborious job, but got it done. The place was sparkling and clean and stocked and together, smelling of bleach and coffee, they stumbled up the stairs. 

Beau grabbed the bong as they made their way to the roof. Caleb’s hand was on his doorknob when he felt Molly’s hand on his hip. 

“Hey. Join us?” Molly asked him gently. The others were up on the roof already and Caleb could hear them. 

“I have never…” 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to get high if you don’t choose too.” Molly said, avoiding the word ‘want’. “I just….well…I’d like you to be there.” 

“Why?” Caleb asked. 

“Because, Caleb, my darling dear, I love spending time with you.” Molly explained. “Come on, Caleb. Spend some time with me.” He wheedled, resting his head against Caleb’s bicep, wrapping his arms around the other man. 

Caleb felt the tension bleed from him. He turned, wrapping his arms around Molly’s slender form. 

“You do not remember last night?” He asked gently. 

“Not a whit.” Molly muttered. “Was I a total mess?” 

“Only a little.” Caleb said. He didn’t want to bring up Molly flirting with him. 

“Hey, my phone died, is it alright if I charge it in your room?” Molly asked. 

“Of course.” Caleb turned the knob and led Molly into his room. It was a neat place, with barely any touches that proved a living soul resided there. The closet was neat, the bed was perfectly made, and nothing was out of place. The only concessions to life were Frumpkin’s things and a bookshelf, half filled with books. Molly plugged in his phone and pulled his apron off. 

Caleb felt his mouth run dry when Molly took the silver apron off. HIs shirt was low cut, exposing most of his chest. The V of the neckline ran to halfway down his sternum. The fabric was deep a purple that matched his hair and showed off his eyes and the pale scars that criss-crossed his chest and Caleb could think about was how beautiful he was. 

“Come on darling. I need to kill this headache.” Molly muttered.

“Is it that bad?” Caleb asked, grabbing a book before leaving his room. Frumpkin trotted behind him, tail high in the air. 

“Feels like there’s a tiny dwarf in my head pounding on my skull in time with my heartbeat.” Molly confessed. “I thought it was just a hangover headache, but it’s the other kind I get.” 

“From the accident.” Caleb said. Molly made a noise of agreement as they crested the steps. 

Most of them were already high, only Nott choosing not to partake. 

“Hey didn’t expect you to join.” Beau muttered. She and Fjord had their legs off and they were under the tarp, sitting on some beach chairs with beanbags scattered about.

“Molly can be very persuasive.” Caleb said. He sat on a beanbag and Molly plopped himself down next to Caleb, pressing close to Caleb. Caleb felt Molly’s body heat and the length of his leg pressing against Caleb’s, and he wanted to lean into Molly, rest his body against the other man’s, to bury his face in Molly’s neck and breathe him in. Caleb fiddled with the pages of his book instead.

“Really?” Beau lifted an eyebrow at Caleb who just blushed and averted his gaze. 

“Yes you know I can be. Now give it. My head is killing my and my vision’s wibbly.” Molly muttered. He didn’t whine but it was close. Beau passed him the bong and Molly settled in to take a hit. 

Caleb watched Molly with interest. This wasn’t allowed at the Compound. He watched the way Molly’s chest rose as held the lighter to a little glass bowl. He watched the water bubble up and heard it simmer as smoke rose through the glass. He watched Molly lift the little glass bowl and inhale, before letting his head fall back and the smoke fall from his beautiful mouth. He watched as Molly took another inhale and Caleb saw the tension visibly leave Molly’s shoulders. 

“Here.” Molly passed the glass to Yasha before snuggling down further into the bag. He shifted and laid down, resting his head on Caleb’s thigh. “Is this alright, darling?” Molly cracked open an eye. 

“I….yes.” Caleb said. “Is this…can I…I mean..I…” He wanted to touch Molly, to rest a hand on his chest and card his fingers through Molly’s hair. Lucy used to lean against him when he braided her hair for her, or put her hair into the knots she had taught him to make, and Caleb craved that kind of physical intimacy with another. 

“If you want to pet me, feel free.” Molly grinned a lazy grin. “It feels nice, to be honest.”

Caleb reached down and ran his fingers through Molly’s hair. The other man groaned happily and his eyes fluttered shut. Caleb smiled down at him gently, resting his hand on Molly’s chest. 

“Caleb?” Beau held out the bong and the lighter to Caleb. 

“Ah, no thanks. I do not think it is a good idea.” He smiled at Beau. “But thank you.”

“Hey I got a smile.” Beau bragged. She elbowed Fjord in the ribs. “He’s smiled for me and for Molly. Get on my level.” She passed the bong to Yasha. 

Caleb watched his friends bicker among themselves in a family-esque way and he leaned back into the beanbag. He gently scratched Molly’s scalp and the man made another low noise in his chest.

“Feeling better?” Caleb asked, looking down at Molly. Molly slowly opened his eyes and a slow, smooth smile graced his features. 

“Yes. Much.” Molly licked his thumb and ran it over Caleb’s cheekbones. “You’re covered in mocha.” He laughed. 

“The pump exploded on me today.” Caleb muttered. 

“Ah yes, she tends to do that.” Molly said, looking up into Caleb’s face. His gray eyes were tracing Caleb’s face and he hadn’t removed his hand from Caleb’s cheek. “You look good with your hair up.” Molly muttered. 

“Oh.” Caleb reached up and pulled his hair from the bun, sighing in pleasure as the tension on his scalp eased. He ran his hands through his hair, shaking it out. A few espresso beans fell from his hair and onto Molly’s chest, making Molly giggle. 

“Shame you took it out of the bun.” Molly muttered. Caleb brushed the beans to the floor and let his hands roam over Molly’s body once more. He knew he should be scared of this, of showing affection to another man in a public space, of showing affection to another man at all, but he was too tired to care, really. Molly was in his lap, smiling up at him, cupping his face, and Caleb wanted to kiss Molly. 

He wanted Molly to be his first kiss. He blushed and averted his gaze. 

“Jester made it for me.” Caleb muttered softly. “It’s too long to not be put up when I am working now.” 

“I like it long.” Molly muttered. “As long as you don’t hide behind it. Don’t hide from me, Caleb.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

Caleb’s skin was soft under Molly’s hand and the headache had faded and his whole body felt like it was wrapped in a fluffy comforter fresh out of the dryer and Molly was content here. His hand dropped to his body and he turned his head to press his face into Caleb’s thigh. 

Molly wasn’t paying attention to the world, he was drifting in a pleasant place where he wasn’t in pain, where his mind was wandering, drifting from thought to thought, with Caleb’s hands grounding him to keep him from drifting off. Caleb’s hands had long elegant fingers and they carded through his hair and traced the scars on his chest with delicate touches and Molly could get used to this. He could get used to Caleb touching him. 

“Mollymauk, time to sleep ja?” Caleb muttered. Molly cracked open an eye and smiled at Caleb. The others were moving down the steps and soon it was just him and Caleb. 

“Alright. I need my keys.” 

“No. You staying here tonight. I do not want you driving like this.” The word ‘want’ made Molly blink. Normally Caleb panicked at the word, but he just dropped it like nothing, like normal people do. 

He was getting better, he was healing and the realization made Molly’s heart swell with pride. 

“Can I crash with you?” Molly asked. He knew he could share the bed with Yasha like he’s done before but he didn’t want to share Yasha’s bed, he wanted to share Caleb’s. He wanted to snuggle close and rest his head on Caleb’s chest and feel Caleb’s arms around him. 

“Ja.” Caleb said gently. Molly beamed up at him and the sheer joy in his smile eased the fear in Caleb’s heart. It couldn’t be bad if it made Molly happy, right? Making people happy was a good thing and sharing Caleb’s bed made Molly happy so that was good, right? 

Molly slowly rose to his feet and grabbed Caleb’s hand. He tugged the other man to his feet and guided him down the steps and into his room, threading his fingers with Caleb’s. He wanted to cuddle Caleb, to hold him close and ease the touch starved hunger than he knew Caleb had. 

“I need to shower.” Caleb said. “Go sleep Molly.” Caleb shut the door after Frumpkin. Molly pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his pants and Caleb went as red as a stop sign and twisted his head away so fast something cracked. 

“Sorry, should have warned you.” Molly laughed. “Not used to nudity?” 

“No, it’s ah..” How was he to say that he didn’t mind male nudity it’s just that he minded Molly being naked? He minded Molly standing there, shirtless, top button of his jeans undone because it made his mouth water and pure want run through his blood. “Here.” He ducked into the closet and grabbed a pair of sweats. He passed them to Molly before realizing they were the ones he was wearing last night, the ones that had been covered in his seed. They had been washed with the sheets he had defiled, but Caleb would always know that those were the ones he had worn. They were marked, in his mind. It was too late to take them back and Caleb would have to live with the knowledge that his seed would be resting on Molly’s bare skin. 

“I…will shower now.” Caleb turned on his heel and shut the bathroom door. 

“He’s getting better.” Molly said to the cat. He stripped out of the rest of his clothes and tugged on the sweats. He flopped down on the bed and grabbed his phone as he snuggled under the sheets. They were freshly washed and smelled like Caleb and detergent and Molly loved it. He ran through his phone as Frumpkin walked up to his chest and settled in the middle of Molly’s sternum. He petted the cat as the shower ran. 

Frumpkin purred and started to lick his chin as Molly read the text messages he had gotten. He scrolled through them before finding the ones he had sent to Caleb last night. His eyes went wide as he saw the selfie and everything came back in a rush. 

He remembered flirting with Caleb, he remembered calling him beautiful, he remembered offering to kiss him, he remembered fighting the urge to kiss him, to pin him to the couch and grind down on Caleb’s hips, he remembered how Caleb looked in the light of the street lamps, how the burnished gold made him glow like a bronze statue, how his eyes shone bright blue and made Molly’s heart ache, how Molly realized that he was falling in love with Caleb. 

“Whelp, I fucked up.” He muttered to the cat. Frumpkin mrrp’d at him and he scratched the cat behind the ears. The tabby started making biscuits on his chest, little claws pricking his skin. 

“No wonder he freaked out when he saw me. Look at this selfie. I look like a slut.” Molly showed the cat the phone. Frumpkin sniffed it before rubbing his head over the phone as the shower turned off. 

“Oh well. It is a good one. I wonder if he saved it.” Molly pressed a kiss between Frumpkin’s ears and the cat headbutted him in the chin. “Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound.” Molly muttered. He put his phone down as the door opened. 

Caleb had taken a cold shower to try to calm the desire burning in his blood. It worked and his hair was dripping onto his shirt as he padded out into the bedroom. Normally he slept shirtless but he wasn’t willing to expose his back to Molly just yet. Molly would ask questions that Caleb wasn’t willing to answer just yet. 

Caleb paused as he ran a towel over his hair. There was Molly, in his bed, shirtless and sleepy, putting Frumpkin who was purring loud enough for Caleb to hear. He was smiling softly at Caleb and he had a hand held out in welcome. It was good sight, seeing Molly in his bed, and something deep in Caleb’s soul stirred alive at it. It was as if Caleb had been locked in ice, or sleeping, or dead since he had been taken, and he was just now starting to wake up and come alive. 

“Come on darling. I’m sleepy and I want to cuddle.” Molly muttered. “If you’d like to, that is.” Molly said. 

“I….” Caleb folded the towel and put it back on the rack before crawling into bed. “Back at the Compound, I used to share a bed with Lucy every night. It’s difficult to sleep now that I am alone.” He confessed. He missed the feeling of another’s body against his, of the sounds of breathing in the night, of knowing he could reach over and brush his hand over another’s warm and solid form. 

“Hey, can I cuddle you?” Molly asked. “I like cuddling when I’m high. It feels nice.” 

“I….yes.” Caleb muttered as he slid under the covers. He wanted Molly’s body around his own. He just hoped he could keep his treacherous desires at bay. Molly curled into Caleb’s body, resting his head on his chest. Caleb wrapped his arms around Molly and the ache in his soul soothed. He felt the planes of Molly’s ribs under his hand and he trailed his fingers over the scars he felt. 

“Why did you leave her behind?” Molly asked. “You don’t have to answer, you know.” 

“I had no choice.” He said gently. “She wasn’t at the rendezvous point when the trap I had rigged went off. I had to leave her behind or not leave at all. I miss her. I worry for her. I want her out.” Caleb felt the guilt about leaving his friend behind wrack his body. He buried his face in Molly’s hair and held him close. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Molly said softly. “You had to get out so you can go back to get her.” He squeezed Caleb’s ribs gently, not enough to hurt, but enough to ground his friend. 

“The FBI is working on the cult.” Caleb said softly. “They are using what I have given them and they’re going to get her out. They are going to get them all out.” 

Privately, Molly that was a bit optimistic. He thought that feds were a bunch of power hungry psychopaths who didn’t care about the likes of Caleb and himself, but he couldn’t speak his views to Caleb. He couldn’t dash those hopes of his. 

“What happens after?” Molly asked Caleb. 

“I get divorced from Lucy and we go about our lives.” Caleb said. 

“A divorce? That’s drastic.” Molly muttered. 

“Molly, neither of us wanted to be married.” Caleb said. “We will be friends, after. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. You’d like her.” Caleb muttered. “She’s like you.” 

“A mess?” Molly asked. 

“A force of nature.” Caleb explained. 

“A force of nature….” Molly muttered. “I like that.” He tangled his legs with Caleb’s as he felt Caleb’s fingers trace over his scars. 

“How did these happen?” Caleb asked softly. 

“The accident.” Molly said. “The same one that took my memory. I worked in a carnival, apparently. I was a tarot reader and hype man for the shows. There was a roller coaster and a fun house and all sorts of things. Well, the roller coaster broke. A string of cars went flying off the track right into the fun house, where I was outside of it, trying to get people to go inside.” Molly said. 

“My God.” Caleb gasped softly. 

“I don’t remember it.” Molly said. “I don’t remember anything, this is all from the police and hospital reports and what Vex had me read.” 

“I am sorry that happened to you Molly.” Caleb muttered. 

“Why? I’m not.” He rose up and looked down at Caleb. “I’m not sorry. It led me here. It made me start over, to make a new me, make a new life, it led me to Yasha and Fjord and Jester and Nott and yes, Beau. It led me to you.” Molly reached out and cupped Caleb’s cheek. “It led me to you.” He repeated. “I’m happy it happened. I never would have met you, otherwise.” 

“Am I that important to you?” Caleb asked. He shot Molly that little broken half-smile of his. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “God help me, Caleb, you are that important to me.” Molly would fight the world for Caleb. He would do anything at all to make Caleb smile, to make him feel safe and happy and warm and content. 

“You are high.” Caleb said simply. “I don’t think I believe you.” 

“How can I get you to believe me?” Molly asked. His hand rested on Caleb’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. “Darling, your happiness and your safety are the most important things in the world to me. I would do anything for you.” 

Caleb huffed out a laugh through his nose. 

“Go to sleep Molly.” 

“You don’t believe me.” Molly said. “Well, guess what? I never black out when I get high so I will remember everything. And I will spend my days making sure you know that I’m telling the truth.” 

“Why?” Caleb asked. “I am….” He took a deep breath. He hated admitting this, but the way Molly’s gray eyes were looking down at him made his heart flutter and ache at the same time. “I am a broken shell of a damaged man. I do not think I can ever really be functional again. I doubt that I can be normal. Why do you care so much?” 

“Okay, first of all, fuck normal. Normal’s boring. I’m not normal and I am a delight.” Molly said. “And I care about you because I like you. I like you even though you read too much and worry too much and you think that tea is better than coffee.” 

“Tea is better than coffee.” 

“Lies and slander, my darling.” Molly teased. “I like you for you. Flaws and all. I care about you for you, flaws and all. I want to see you happy, flaws and all. It’s as simple as that.” 

“You are an odd one, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Caleb said gently. 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Molly brushed some of Caleb’s hair from his face and his eyes fell to Caleb’s mouth. God, his mouth was beautiful. His lips were full and a pale pink and Molly wanted to kiss them. He wanted to bite them and suck them and hear the sounds that came from them as he gave Caleb pleasure. 

“Caleb..” He opened his mouth to ask if he could kiss Caleb when there was a thump on the wall. 

“Hey! Knock it off! I’m trying to sleep!” Beau whined. 

“Yeah can y’all be quiet for one fuckin’ night?” Fjord said from the other wall. 

“I forgot how thin the walls were here.” Molly grumbled. He laid back down and tucked his face into Caleb’s neck. “You should spend the night with me. At my place. Nice and quiet, thick walls, no _nosey neighbors_.” He raised his voice as the last bit and Beau threw something at the wall that echoed with a thump. 

“One day I will.” Caleb wrapped his arms around Molly and held him close. 

“Sleep well, Mollymauk.” Caleb mumbled into his hair. Molly turned and kissed Caleb’s cheek gently. 

“Sleep well, my darling.” He mumbled against Caleb’s skin, making his heart hurt. He wanted to see Caleb happy and well and safe and warm. He wanted to give Caleb the world and then the whole universe. 

One day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll and on twitter at Mebeshe4815. Kudos and comments feed the plot bunnies.


	7. First Laughs, Dancing, and Feds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with past references of abuse and there is a self-harm scene. Read at your own choice.

Molly woke blissfully pain-free. He let himself bask in it, slowly waking up. He realized that he wasn’t in his own bed. There was an arm across his chest, a chest pressed to his back, legs tangled with his, a nose in his hair, and soft snoring in his ear. He blinked away, realizing that he was in Caleb’s room, in Caleb’s bed, in Caleb’s arms. His body was loose and warm, Caleb’s breath was soft in his ear, and Molly was happy. He reached up and ran his fingers over Caleb’s arm softly, tracing the scars he found with a finger. 

He knew what a few of them were from. He knew what knife scars looked like, what burns looked like. He could see a bite here and there, and there was one he wasn’t quite sure what it was. It was thin and white and wrapped around Caleb’s forearm in a way that confused Molly. He ran the pads of his fingers over it gently. 

“Guten Morgen, Mollymauk.” Spoke a rough voice in his ear. Molly peeked over his should to see Caleb, eyes heavy with sleep, smiling at him. 

“Good morning to you too.” Molly said, his voice rough with sleep. “What happened here?” He asked. 

“Willow switch.” Caleb said gently. “I was sixteen and I was caught rolling my eyes to the Ikathon so I was switched for it.” 

“You were sixteen.” Molly turned in Caleb’s arms to face him. “Fuck, sixteen year olds are nothing but sass, body odor and acne. Why were you switched for something normal?” 

“It was considered an act of free will.” Caleb said. It was easier to talk to Molly like this, when they were both half asleep. He ducked his head and rested his forehead against Molly’s collarbone, trailing his nose along the other man’s skin. 

“And free will’s a bad thing?” Molly asked. 

“Ja. I was beaten for smiling. I was beaten for laughing. I was beaten for raising my voice. I was beaten for asking questions. I was beaten for the word ‘why’ more than once.” Caleb admitted. Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb’s body, tucking him close. 

They were pressed together from groin to shoulder, legs in a tangle, arms around each other and Molly didn’t quite know where he ended and Caleb began. He tangled a hand in Caleb’s hair and pressed a gentle to Caleb’s temple. 

“That’s why you were scared to smile.” Molly said. “And why you’re scared to laugh.” He said. He felt Caleb nod. “I’m sorry you had to live through that, darling. Nobody should ever have to live through that.” He kissed Caleb’s temple again. They stayed like that, in a tangle of limbs, until there was a knock on the door. 

“Breakfast in ten you two.” Fjord grumbled. There was the sound of a crutch as he walked away. 

Breakfast was an easy affair, with Molly pain-free and warm and happy and cheerful and sitting beside Caleb. He had an arm around the back of Caleb’s chair and his legs were spread and his knee was brushing Caleb’s thigh and one hand was waving about as he told a story and the other was rubbing circles into the meat of Caleb’s shoulder and Caleb found himself smiling softly. 

He was happy here. He was content, listening to Molly tell a story. The door from the stairs opened and Vex and Trinket entered. The moment Trinket saw Molly he bounded over and threw himself into Molly’s lap, whining with joy and licking every part of Molly he could find. 

“Hey buddy, good to see you too!” Molly pulled his hand away and started rubbing Trinket’s fur, petting his head and his body as his tail knocked over the empty coffee cups on the table. 

“Hello Molly.” Vex said with a genuine smile. 

“Vex, darling!” Molly held out his arms and stood. They embraced and he kissed her cheek. “It’s good to see you. How’s that brother of yours doing?” 

“Vax is well. His tour is over soon. He’ll be home in two months.” She said softly. 

“Vax is coming back?” Beau grinned wide. “Oh dude I’m gonna kick his ass. He hasn’t spoke to me in weeks!” 

“You two know each other?” Caleb asked Beau gently. 

“Yeah dude, who do think go me into the program? We were in the same unit.” She rose. “Hey, Vex, can I talk to you for a second?” Beau limped off with Vex and the women put their heads together gently. 

“Molly, remember last time you an’ Vax were in the same room?” Fjord asked softly. 

“What? It was consensual and we used protection.” Molly sat down. “This was before he met Shaun, as well. I don’t sleep with taken men, Fjord.” Molly gathered his things. “I have to be going home. It was a delight. Caleb, thank you for sharing your bed with me.” 

“Thank you for staying safe.” Caleb said truthfully. Molly ruffled Nott’s hair and punched Fjord lightly in the shoulder. Jester and Yasha got cheek kisses and Molly bent down and kissed Caleb’s cheek gently before flouncing out the door. Caleb blinked a few times, trying to register that Molly had just kissed his cheek in public without anything terrible happening to him. Nobody said anything, nobody hit him, nobody hurt him. They just…accepted it. Caleb brushed his fingers over the spot where Molly’s lips had been as he thought. 

“Caleb? After you.” Vex held open the door to the therapy room. Caleb knew this was essential, but to him it always felt like he was walking to his death. He took his tea with him and sat down. Frumpkin curled up next to him, resting his head against this thigh. 

The session went smoothly, discussing the week and the stress of the day before. It was a good session, until Vex brought up the dream. 

“So…Beau tells me that she caught you changing the sheets the other night. Why were you changing them?” 

Oh God. He was so stupid. He had been caught and because the punishment hadn’t come right away he thought that he was fine. He started to rock a bit and Trinket’s ears perked up. 

“Caleb?” Vex asked gently. 

“I….I had a dream.” He admitted. He knew it was better to tell the truth over a lie. The truth just got you beaten, a lie got you locked in the cells. 

“Was it a nightmare?” She asked. Caleb whined in fear, curling in on himself. He said nothing, hoping she’d drop the topic. “Caleb?” She asked. He shook his head, digging his nails into his arms. The pain was grounding, like it always was. 

“Was it a sex dream?” She asked softly. Caleb curled into a ball, dragging his nails down his arms. Trinket tried to wriggle his head into Caleb’s form as blood welled up on his skin. Caleb felt himself crying as he nodded. 

He had admitted it. He had admitted his shame and his weakness and now he was going to be hurt. He prayed that Vex didn’t ask him who the dream had been about. He cried as he dragged his nails over his arms, the furrows bleeding heavily. 

“Caleb, Caleb darling, stop that.” Vex moved and took his hands in her own. He tried to wriggle out of her grip. The pain kept the panic down but he had to keep at it, or the panic would overwhelm the pain. His wriggling exposed a spot for Trinket, who shoved his head into the spot. The dog pressed forward and soon Caleb had the two hundred pound animal in his lap. Vex was holding his hands wasn’t them go as blood dripped down his wrists. 

“Please. Don’t hurt me.” He begged. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was weak. Please don’t hurt me.” Tears ran down his cheeks and Caleb shook with fear. “Please I’m sorry I won’t do it again I promise. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” 

He was sixteen again, dragged before the Ikathon in the mess hall. He could see him, with his long hair and his stern face, frowning as he berated Caleb in front of the whole Compound for the dreams he had been having. Caleb could hear the Ikathon calling him weak, calling him shameful, saying that Caleb lacked self control, and that a good whipping would take care of that. He could feel the ropes being slid on his wrists and feel his shirt being cut and he heard the crack of the whip again. 

“Caleb, darling.” Vex said softly. “I’m not going to hurt you. Ever.” Caleb glanced at her and her brown eyes were full of tears. “Caleb, stay with me, alright.” She put his hand on her chest, above her breasts. 

“Now breathe with me, darling.” She took a slow breath in and held it before letting it out slowly. She did it again and Caleb mimicked her. Slowly the crying stopped and slowly the panic started to fade. 

“Caleb, darling, it’s going to be alright.” Vex said gently. Trinket whined and started licking the tears from his cheeks. “It’s alright. You are not going to punished for having these dreams. They’re normal.” She spoke softly. 

“No.” He shook his head. “They’re a weakness. They show wanting.” 

“What’s wrong with wanting things?” Vex asked. 

“Wanting is coveting and coveting is greed and greed will bring about the End.” He told her. 

“Darling, wanting is human nature.” Vex said. “You care about Nott, yes?” She asked and Caleb nodded. “You want her to be happy? You want her to be safe? You want her to have a good life surrounded by people who love her?” 

“Yes.” Caleb said softly. 

“Then how is that bad?” Vex asked gently. “Wanting things shows that we’re human. Wanting is a part of who we are. We strive for more, to be better, to be safer, to have our loved ones be safer. I know I want my brother to be safe. That’s perfectly normal.” 

Caleb wasn’t shaking anymore, but his arms hurt. Trinket slowly climbed off of Caleb and he rose up to a sitting position. 

“Caleb, thank you for this.” Vex said. 

“What?” He asked her softly, confused. 

“You showed your vulnerability. You trusted me to see this.” Vex said. “It was very brave of you to allow me to see this. So thank you.” She hadn’t let go of his hands and she gave his hands a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m sorry.” Caleb said gently. 

“Darling there is nothing to be sorry for.” Vex said. “You know, I had a patient a few years ago, in another program, who was the only survivor of a break in. The people who broke into his home not only stole quite a bit of things, but they also were after his family. They killed them, leaving my patient alive. He was the sole survivor of the attack. He still has panic attacks like this, and even though he’s no longer with the program, he calls me and asks for help. Caleb, asking for help is a very brave thing and it doesn’t make you weak.” She smiled at him. 

“You are very kind.” Caleb said gently. 

“Thank you Caleb.” Vex smiled at him. “Why were you clawing at yourself?” She turned his arms over and there, deep in his flesh, were five furrows of blood in each arm. 

“The pain helps.” Caleb said softly. “It keeps me from crying too much. At the Compound….at the Compound crying was seen as weakness. Usually when I was whipped I had my hands bound, so I dug my nails into whatever part of me I could reach.” He turned his palms over and showed her the heels of his hands. There were countless little sharp crescent moon scars. 

"Were you whipped often?” She asked gently. 

“Yes and no.” He said. “I was beaten for things like asking questions, but the whippings and the switches were reserved for things like the dreams.” 

“Caleb, you were whipped for having wet dreams?” She asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb said softly. She reached out and took some tissues and pressed them into the furrows of his arms. 

“Why?” She asked softly. 

“Masturbation….it was forbidden. Sex was only for making children, so masturbation and…and homosexual sex was forbidden. Wet dreams cause your seed to fall elsewhere outside of a woman. That’s why it’s forbidden.” He explained softly. 

“Caleb, there’s nothing wrong with this. There’s nothing wrong wet dreams or masturbation. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Vex said firmly and gently.

“It felt…” Caleb said. He bit his lip, trying to find the words. 

“In the dream, did it feel good?” Vex asked. He nodded. “And in the dream, did you and the other person want it?” 

“Yes. Yes he did.” Caleb said gently. He remembered how Molly had arched under his touch, had whined and moaned his name in the dream. Molly had wanted it. 

“Then there is nothing to be ashamed of.” Vex said softly. Caleb shot her a small little smile. 

“There is no way he could want me.” Caleb said. “I am…I am broken.” He started to cry again. 

“No, darling, you’re not.” Vex let go of his hands to wipe his cheeks with her hands. “You’re damaged, yes. But so is everyone here. We’re all damaged in our own ways, coping and living as best as we can.” She smiled at him. 

“Caleb, is alright if I hug you?” Vex asked. He nodded and Vex pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms tight around her and tucked his face into her neck. She smelled like good perfume and dog and a bit like gunpowder. She gave him a gentle squeeze as her phone beeped. 

“You know, I think you need to talk to a colleague of mine.” Vex said. She had noticed his body language when he was panicking and she had a suspicion. 

“Why?” 

“Well, Caleb, I think you need to be screened for autism, but I’m not the expert in that. I deal with trauma. My friend deals with people on the spectrum.” She explained. 

“Do you think I’m autistic?” Caleb asked her softly. 

“I think you might be. And if you are, that just means we know how to help you heal even better. Now, let have Nott clean you up yes?” She pulled back. She stood and opened the door. 

“Yasha, will you me a favor get Nott? And tell her to bring the first aide kit and meet Caleb in his room. I need a few moments.” Vex asked. 

“Of course.” Yasha nodded and vanished. 

“Again, thank you for being open Caleb.” Vex gave his elbow a squeeze as he left and she shut the door. 

“Oh fuck.” She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Trinket. Her dog whined and licked her face gently. She held Trinket close, shaking. She needed to talk to friends, but Percy was out. The man had suffered enough. Vax was overseas and on a mission in a deadzone, Pike was off with Doctors Without Borders somewhere in Central America, Scanlan wasn’t someone she trusted with this, and Grog was sweet but this wasn’t his area of expertise. She snagged her phone from her bag and shot off a text to Kiki, asking if she could meet up later. Vex stood and forced her shoulders back and wiped the tears from her cheeks. 

She had work to do, and she could fall apart later. Right now she had to help Yasha through her trauma from being a refugee and fleeing a war-torn country in the East. She could fall apart over Caleb later. 

 

Caleb curled up on his bed as Nott cleaned out his wounds. She hadn’t said anything but her eyes were wide. 

“I’m sorry.” Caleb broke the tension. He clenched his jaw as she cleaned them out. 

“For what?” She asked. She grabbed some bandages and put them over the worse bits. 

How was he to say that he’s sorry for not recovering properly? How he can’t go two steps forward without taking one step back? How was he to say that he was sorry for being a failure at getting better? How was he to say that this was his fault. 

“For being me.” He settled on. 

“Caleb, look at me.” Nott said. She reached under his chin and tilted his face up. “Healing isn’t linear.” She said. “I got out of the Family when I was maybe twenty. That was nine years ago. I’m still scared of men with dark hair. I’m still scared when men raise their voice. I’m still scared when I hear gunshots in movies. I don’t think I’ll ever not be scared.” She said softly. She wrapped the gauze around his arms. “It doesn’t mean I’m a failure or that I’m a bad person. It just means that I have some triggers.” She said. 

“It’s the same for you.” She tied off the gauze and patted his arms softly. Caleb reached out and pulled her into a hug. The little woman wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

“This is the second hug I have gotten in ten minutes.” He said. “That’s more than I have gotten in the last ten years.” He admitted softly. Nott just held him tighter. 

“Do you want me to leave or do you want me to stay for a bit?” Nott asked. She looked up at him. Normally Caleb would ask to be alone, but he trusted Nott. She was the first person here to take him under her wing, to be kind and smile at him. 

“Could you stay?” He asked softly. 

“Of course Caleb. Let’s watch cat videos.” Nott grabbed her phone and pulled up Youtube, curling into Caleb’s side as she pressed a video titled “funny cat vine compilation.” Caleb relaxed, holding her close. 

 

Molly pulled the cap off the sharpie with his teeth as he scribbled on the box. He shoved it up and over his head, tucking it in place. His own handwriting was a mess compared to Caleb’s neat, block lettering. Molly reached up and ran his fingers over Caleb’s writing. 

Caleb hadn’t contacted him in a few days and he was worried. He was scared that his confession while high had frightened Caleb away. Jester had called Molly asking if he could cover Caleb’s shift while he was at another doctor’s anointment, and the fact that Caleb didn’t ask Molly to drive him there hurt him a little. He missed Caleb. 

He sighed, going back to work. Caleb normally put away the order and Molly was quickly figuring out the system that Caleb used for the boxes, but they were labeled in German, much to Molly’s annoyance. His phone was playing along and he was bobbing his head as he worked. 

He was deliberately not thinking about Caleb. He was not thinking about how he’d fucked his fist the past few nights, crying out Caleb’s name as he came, not about how he had ridden a toy has he pretended it was Caleb, not about how his dick was damn near rubbed raw because he couldn’t help but pop a boner every time he pictured Caleb’s mouth. Nope. Not at all. 

A song came on his phone and Molly grinned. He grabbed it and pushed the volume all the way up and started to sing along. “Yeah if you change your mind you know where I am, ‘cause I don’t ever wanna be your boyfriend.” 

He swung his hips as he worked, singing along. He adored this song and always scream-sung it when he was driving along, blasting it at full volume. He slid to the pile of boxes and bent over as he rifled through them, butt in the air. He found a box of lids and picked it up before he heard a low, wheezing sound. 

It was a laugh. It wasn’t a laugh he knew. He turned, fully prepped to tell the customer that they couldn’t be back here when he saw Caleb. Caleb, who had a piece of paper in his hand, his face in a grin, as he laughed. 

It was a good laugh, if a bit rusty. It warmed Molly to the corners of his soul. Caleb’s eyes were bright with happiness and the corners were crinkled with genuine humor and joy and Molly felt his breath stolen from him. He felt tears spring into his eyes and he blinked them away as he walked over to Caleb. 

“Is my dancing really that terrible?” He asked. Caleb laughed some more, his shoulders starting to shake. Caleb snorted with laughter and he leaned over, laughing harder, snorting a bit. 

Oh, Molly was in love. Molly was in love with this fragile man, the one man of shadows and pain and sharp edges. Molly loved him to his core and he was more than willing to cut himself on the sharp edges of Caleb’s soul if it meant helping Caleb put himself back together. 

“I knew you’d have a beautiful laugh.” Molly said softly. He was in awe of Caleb. 

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t laugh but turning the corner and seeing your butt in the air, wriggling like that, was not something I expected.” Caleb laughed. 

“Don’t ever be sorry for laughing. I like your laugh. I knew it would be a good one.” Molly gently chucked Caleb under the chin. “Dance with me.” He grabbed Caleb’s hands and tugged him into the paper room. 

“I haven’t danced in a long time.” Caleb said. 

“It’s alright. It’s simple. Here.” He took Caleb’s hands and dropped them to his hips “Let me lead.” He reached down and threaded his fingers through the belt loops of Caleb’s jeans and moved Caleb’s hips to the beat of the song. 

“Let the tension go, Caleb. Relax. I’m not going to bite you.” Molly grinned. Not unless Caleb wanted to be bitten, but that was a whole other story. Slowly Caleb relaxed under his hands, moving his hips with the beat, just as the song changed. 

It was slow, sensuous love song, and Molly moved a hand from Caleb’s hip to the small of his back. He tugged Caleb close, until they were pressed together, hip to hip, chest to chest. Caleb’s arms came to wrap around his shoulders. 

“There, you’re getting it.” Molly said into Caleb’s ear gently. “How was the new doctor?” He asked. 

“I have a new diagnoses.” Caleb muttered softly. “Autism.” He laughed softly. 

“Well that’s a good thing.” Molly said. “Now that we know something about you, we can find ways to help.” They rocked their bodies together and Molly’s eyes flickered to the soft spot below Caleb’s ear. 

“It just another label.” Caleb muttered. “Anxiety, agoraphobia, complex post traumatic stress disorder, suicidal ideation, and now this?” He gave a bitter laugh. “I am going to end up more labels than man.” 

“Depression, ptsd, traumatic brain injury, and abandonment issues.” Molly grinned. “Those are some of mine. Labels just mean that we know how to work with the issues that we have. Nothing bad about it.” His gaze flickered over Caleb’s jaw and his hand slid lower. His voice was low as he turned Caleb in a circle. 

“It just means I have another thing for people to see instead of who I am.” Caleb muttered. “Cult survivor, immigrant, gay man. What else is next?” 

“Recovered.” Molly muttered. “You just called yourself gay without flinching. A month ago you wouldn’t have been able to think it, let alone say it. I’m so proud of you, darling.” 

Caleb turned his head and faced Molly. 

“I didn’t even realize.” He confessed. He had been so wrapped up in dealing with this new thing he had that Caleb hadn’t even noticed that he muttered the words ‘gay man’ out loud. 

“I’m proud of you.” Molly said. He rested his forehead against Caleb’s temple, tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of his nose. Caleb inhaled sharply as Molly’s lips brushed his skin and Molly grinned. Caleb’s head moved and Molly found the skin of Caleb’s neck under his lips. He moved before he could think himself out of it. 

He pressed a soft kiss to the skin of Caleb’s neck. Caleb gasped, his head falling back. Molly’s tongue flicked out and laved the pulse under his tongue and Caleb shuddered in his arms. 

“Oh.” Caleb gasped, his head falling back. Molly’s hand carded through his hair as Molly sucked softly at the skin of Caleb’s neck. He was already hard and throbbing in his jeans and he knew Caleb could feel his length against his hip. Molly pressed tiny kisses up Caleb’s skin and then tugged at his earlobe gently. 

“Oh, Molly.” Caleb gasped softly. He turned his head and his eyes were blown wide with lust. 

“Yes?” Molly asked. His eyes flickered down to Caleb’s mouth. “Tell me what you need, darling. I need to hear it from your mouth.” He needed to know that Caleb wanted this, that Caleb wanted him. He reached up and ran his thumb over Caleb’s bottom lip. 

“I need you to-” 

“Caleb, are you back here?” Jester’s voice echoed. Caleb slipped from his grip like an eel and stood five feet away from Molly. She turned the corner and behind her were two people, a man and a woman in black suits. 

“Mr. Widogast, we’re agents Winters and Fields. We need you to come to Washington with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll, and on twitter at mebeshe4815. Kudos and comments feed the plot bunnies.


	8. Pining, Plane Trips, and Medals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plane trips happen, tears occur, girl time is a thing.

“Kiki, this poor man.” Vex drained her shotglass and poured herself another drink. Her shoes her off and her hair was up and she was in a pair of Keyleth’s sweats and Trinket was sitting with his head in Keyleth’s lap, eyes half-closed in doggy bliss as she petted him. 

“I’m out of my depth with him.” Vex said, taking a shot. 

“That’s what you said about Beau when she showed up.” Keyleth said gently. 

“Beauregard carried around a fucking assault rifle for two weeks. My brother has a very large collection and I’m an excellent markswoman. I can handle guns.” Vex said. “Caleb’s been tortured.” She ran her hands over her bare face. 

“You said he’s seen terrible things. What about the good things? You mentioned the childbirth.” Kiki took her own shot and sipped it. She lifted Trinket’s ear and ran it over her lips gently. Vex knew her friend liked to stim with Trinket’s ears. Keyleth had told her that she liked the texture of them against her skin when Vax was gone. She said that Trinket’s ears had a similar texture to the skin on Vax’s shoulder. 

“I’ve been trying to get him to open up but good God the man’s a clam!” Vex took another shot. 

“Okay no more booze for you.” Keyleth took the drink from Vex and finished it before capping the bottle. “So he now he’s being sent all the to D.C for a month?” 

“At least.” Vex said. “A whole month, possibly more, while they work with him and use him for information for a raid and good God this month will the most difficult for him.” Vex sighed, curling up into a ball. 

“Kiki, what if I can’t help him?” She looked to her friend. 

“Vex, you can.” Keyleth look at her. Her friend’s hazel eyes were big and full of confidence. “He needs a laptop with Skype on it, so you can chat that way. And you can call him twice weekly. And you need to keep tabs with the Agents as well. Vex, if anyone can do it, it’s you.” She reached out and took Vex’s hand. 

“My brother doesn’t deserve you.” Vex grinned. 

“I don’t deserve him.” Keyleth said gently. 

“Kiki, darling, I know you have self worth issues, but trust me, Vax adores you. He adores both you and Shaun,and the fact you three have made this work speaks the strength of your bond with them.” Vex said gently. 

“I know I know.” Keyleth said, running her hands through her hair. The sides of her head were shaved, showing off the antler tattoos on her scalp. “I just know I’m just going to mess it up somehow. Shaun and I have gone on friend-dates since Vax shipping out and honestly I really do like him as a friend, you know. And Vax is coming soon so I’m just worried that we’ll end up fighting over him or something stupid.” Keyleth. “You know I’m not good with people.” 

“You are better than you think, Kiki dear.” Vex said. 

“I like plants better than people.” She gestured around her apartment which was full of the greenest, thickset, healthiest plants that Vex had ever seen. Keyleth was a botanist and it showed in how she could bring any plant back to life, even the ones that Vex was she sure had killed. 

“Kiki, darling, listen to me.” Vex was drunk, but she needed her friend to know this. “You, you darling, are a wonderful woman, autism and all. I know you think that you’re a terrible human and a horrid daughter but honestly, you’re wrong. You are fucking wrong Keyleth. You are a good woman. My brother is a good judge of a person’s soul, and he has chosen you to be one of the people to walk with him in this world. That’s how fucking good you are.” Vex said. “Alright? You are my friend and my sister and I love you.” She ended her little speech by cupping Keyleth’s cheeks and squishing them lightly. 

Keyleth sniffed and Vex held out her arms. Keyleth crawled into them and the women hugged. 

“I love you too Vex.” Keyleth said. Trinket flopped onto the couch and laid his big head on Keyleth’s back. 

“So Vax is coming back.” Vex said. “Soon.” 

“Yes. We need to throw a party. Invite the people at the Trauma Cafe.” Keyleth said from where she was resting her head on Vex’s chest. “Ooh!” She perked up. “Caleb should be back by then! He needs to meet Shaun and Vax.” 

“He does.” Vex said. “He’s already close to Mollymauk. Perhaps being around other men who like men will help him come to terms with who he is.” She wrapped her arms around her friend and held her close. 

“Will you invite Percy?” Keyleth asked, wiggling her eyebrows in a move she learned from Scanlan. 

“God no. Kiki, he’s just a friend a former patient of mine.” Vex said. 

“Yes, but I’ve seen how you look at him.” She said. 

“Just because I love him doesn’t mean anything can come of it.” Vex said. “It’s unethical.” 

“Ethical-smethical.” Keyleth said. “You have the chance for the love of a lifetime. Take it.” She said.

“No. Not yet.” Vex said. 

“I have an old laptop that Caleb can have. It’s got some of my old botany reports on it for the University, but it’s clean. I’ll dig it out tomorrow so you can give it to him.” Keyleth muttered. 

“Sounds like a plan. Now, lets turn on Netflix.” Vex fished for the remote and found it under her butt. 

“Let’s watch Planet Earth!” Keyleth cheered, grabbing the remote. 

 

“Now are you sure you have everything?” Nott asked. She ran her hands over Caleb’s bag one more time. 

“Yes I am sure, stop hovering.” Caleb said. 

“You have the snacks, right Caleb?” Jester asked. She reached out and smoothed the collar of his jacket. 

The last three days had been a whirlwind for Caleb. He had new luggage and a new satchel and new books and a new laptop and a new ID and he was off to the capitol of this county by himself and he was terrified. He had asked if he could bring Molly or Nott with him but the Agents had said no. The Agents who were standing by the door, imposing in their dark suits. 

“Yes I do.” He said. 

“Alright, now call us, alright? We like, really care about you and want to make sure you’re okay, okay?” Jester asked. 

“Okay.” Caleb said. He gave the women each a hug and turned to Molly. 

“Take care of Frumpkin for me, ja?” Caleb asked. Molly had agreed to take the cat so he wouldn't be lonely. 

“Like he was my very own.” Molly said. The past three days had been hell for Molly. He couldn’t stop thinking about the feeling of Caleb in his arms and the taste of his skin on his tongue and the sounds that he was making. Molly wanted nothing more than to tell the F.B.I to go fuck themselves and take Caleb back to his apartment and ride him into the mattress. 

But no, Caleb had go and be all noble and go off to D.C to deal with the feds and bring down the people who had hurt him. 

“Caleb.” Molly held out his hand. “Stay safe.” Caleb clasped Molly’s forearm and they shook hands. He resisted the urge to pull Caleb into a hug and he watched as Caleb turned to the Agents and they vanished into the darkness of LAX. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he followed the girls out into the parking garage. 

He already missed Caleb. 

He should have hugged him. 

He should have said a proper goodbye. 

What if Caleb didn’t come back? What if there was an accident? What if he fell back into the cult? Molly paused in the middle of the street. 

He needed to say goodbye. 

“Hold on. Wait.” He held out a finger and ran. He ran back through the crowds, into the ticket terminal. He didn’t see Caleb. He climbed up a luggage rack, disturbing a family of five. 

There, heading to TSA, was Caleb. Molly bolted for Caleb, shoving people out of the way. He took the escalators two at a time, heart pounding in his chest. 

He needed to reach Caleb before he went through security. 

He needed to say good-bye. 

There was a family dealing with a stroller and Molly saw Caleb hand the TSA agent his ticket. 

“CALEB, WAIT!” He hollered, vaulting over the baby in the stroller. Caleb turned and saw Molly running toward him. 

“Molly? Is everythin-” He was cut off when Molly launched himself at Caleb, wrapping him in a tight hug. Molly’s hands were in his hair and he gave in to his own wants, and held Molly close. 

“Couldn’t leave without saying good-bye.” Molly gasped out. He pulled back and cupped Caleb’s face. 

“You come back to me, Caleb Widogast.” He said firmly. He ran his thumbs over Caleb’s cheekbones, trying to memorize his face. “You come the fuck back to me.” 

“I will.” Caleb’s hands dropped to Molly’s hips as Molly tugged him into another tight hug. “I will.” He repeated. 

“Here.” Molly stepped back and reached into his shirt. He undid a necklace and quickly threw it around Caleb’s neck. 

“What?” Caleb found the pendant and turned it to see it was an oval, with a man with a halo holding a healing staff with the words ‘Saint Jude Pray For Us’ around it. “What is this?” 

“St. Jude. Patron saint of hopeless causes.” Molly said. “I can’t….I won’t be there to help you. I’ll be here. I can’t help you here.” Molly pressed the pendant into Caleb’s chest, crying. “I can’t help you. I can’t keep you safe. Maybe he can.” 

“Molly.” Caleb wrapped him in the a hug, tugging him close and tight. Molly cried into his shoulder. 

“Come back to me. Please, Caleb. Come back to me.” Molly said. “Don’t go back to them. Come back to me.” 

“I will.” Caleb said. He felt tears prick his eyes. Molly was afraid that he would back to the Compound, back to the people who warped his mind and broken his spirit. “I promise I will come back.” 

“Mr. Widogast, we have to go.” The female Agent, Winters, said. 

“Call me. Please, Caleb. I can’t… I can’t go a month without you.” Molly rested his forehead against Caleb’s. “Come back to me.” 

“I’ll come back. I promise.” Caleb let Molly go and Molly dragged his hands over Caleb’s arms and down to his hands. He held on for as long as he could before Caleb vanished into security. He stayed there, watching Caleb for as long as he could see him, before making his way back to the car in a daze. 

He worked his way back to the car and the moment he saw Jester’s chubby face looking at him in concern he broke down crying. She hugged him and he cried into her shoulder. 

“I can’t keep him safe when he’s there.” He cried. Jester held him close and rocked him, petting his hair and singing soft songs as he cried himself out onto her shoulder. Molly couldn’t remember his mother, but he felt that this is what having one was like. 

“He’ll be fine.” Nott said. “He’s smart. He’s stronger than he knows. He’ll be fine.” She patted his hip gently. 

“Come on Molly, let’s go home. We need to get Frumpkin.” Jester eased him into the car. Molly curled up int the backseat, head on his knees, lonely and frightened and worried that he may never see the man he loves ever again. 

 

Caleb curled up into the seat on the airplane, head on his knees. He hated the first time he flew and he hated this time. The air was all wrong; stale and thin and he could taste the disinfectant in it. He could hear the other passengers as the settled in for the flight and he felt the engines roar to life. Caleb dug in his shirt and found the necklace Molly had given him. 

He was a coward. He had wanted to kiss Molly. He hadn’t expected Molly to care enough about him to come running through the airport to give him a proper good-bye. He could still feel Molly’s hands cupping his cheeks and why hadn’t Caleb kissed him? 

“Your boyfriend seems to really miss you.” Agent Winters said next to him. They were in the three center rows in First Class, and Caleb wasn’t used to having this much room to sit in. 

“He is not my boyfriend.” Caleb said softly. 

Agent Winters was a small woman, barely five feet tall. Her dirty blonde hair was a mess of curls that flew about untamed and her dark brown eyes were sharp in the rich brown of her skin. Caleb didn’t know what her ethnicity was, and he wasn’t going to ask. She may have been tiny but there was a fire and a fierceness in her that reminded Caleb of Lucy and Nott. He knew that she was not someone to cross and that she was dedicated to her work. 

“He seems to think he is.” Agent Fields said to his left. The man was tall and lanky, as if he had been stretched on the rack and left that way. He was so pale his skin was nearly translucent and Caleb had never seen him without his sunglasses off. 

“He is not. Molly is just a friend.” Caleb said gently. 

“He cried over you.” Winter said. 

“Molly is a very emotional person.” Caleb explained. 

“He cares about you.” Fields said. The lights dimmed and he sighed. He rubbed his temples and took off the glasses, and Caleb saw his eyes for the first time. They were the palest blue that Caleb had ever seen, lighter than the sky, lighter than the glaciers he had camped on. He ran his hands through his dark hair and Caleb saw white at the roots. 

“He is a good friend.” Caleb admitted. “Nothing more.” He kicked off his shoes as the plane pulled away from the airport. He tucked the little thin blanket over his toes. 

“Friends don’t look at friends like that.” Winters said softly. “He’s crazy about you.” 

“No. No he’s not.” Caleb couldn’t tell them that Molly was just a friend, and that despite Caleb’s feelings for Molly there was no way that Molly could love him back. The moment in the back room came to his mind and he could feel Molly’s mouth on his neck and his thumb on his bottom lip and Caleb was grateful he had pulled his feet to his chest. He dug out his phone and turned it on, plugging in his headphones. 

Fields had a crossword puzzle book on his lap and Winters was reviewing the files she had shown Caleb. Files on the Compound, files on Trent Ikathon, on Astrid and Aoedwulf and Lucy and Camille and Francis and the others at the Compound, she was pouring over the maps he had provided and the other things in the file. She was like a dog with a bone with this; determined to break it open and crush it. 

He sighed softly before scrolling through the music. He hadn’t listened to much but he found a playlist called “Caleb - this one first” with a little heart next to it. Caleb smiled to himself and pressed the button that said ‘shuffle play’. 

He didn’t know the first few songs as the plane taxied out to the runway and then took off. Caleb found himself pressed into the seat and was reminded of the last time he had been on a plane; with his parents next to him as he left Germany to move to a strange new country for his father’s new job. 

He could still remember how happy his father had been to get a job in America, how he had said that working for the Park Service was going to change their lives for the better, and how Caleb would go to school in America and get the best education possible. He remembered how excited his mother had been for their house nestled into the wilds of Wyoming, of how strange the place had been to Caleb who grown up in Berlin his whole life. 

The wide expanses of the American west had terrified him at first; the wide skies of bright blue and the mountains in the close distance and the wide fields had spoken of a vast, untamed amount of nature, a force that was ancient and more powerful than Caleb could ever hope to fathom. He had grown to tolerate it, the constant undercurrent of wilderness that had come to dominate his life. Then he had met Aoedwulf, who had seemed a scared boy like himself. Then he had been kidnapped, thrown into the back of a van and his life had changed for the second time. 

Caleb was jolted from his thoughts by the song that Molly had been dancing to in the backroom of the Cafe. The first time he had been too distracted by the feeling of a laugh bubbling in his chest to pay attention to the lyrics. 

“Girls love girls and boys.” The singer crooned into his ears and he smiled softly. Of course Molly would like a song about liking both girls and boys. Caleb closed his eyes and listening to the song, an ache for Molly filling his chest. His fingers found the necklace that Molly had given him and he ran his fingers over the metal oval. He would miss Molly something fiercely, like people missed their limbs or their loved ones once they were gone. 

He knew he was getting far too attached to Molly, but there was something calming about the other man, something that drew Caleb in with a tug in his chest that caused both fear and want to bubble up in equal measure. He wondered if he was a bad person for wanting Molly. He wondered if wanting Molly would bring about the other man’s ruin. 

A new song came on and the woman’s voice was beautiful. Caleb turned up the music to listen to it a bit better as he waited to be allowed to grab his book. He listened to the lyrics and slowly, slowly they sunk into his heart and his soul. “Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace, baby I can see your halo, you know you're my saving grace.” 

His mind at once drifted to Molly. In the short month he had known Molly, the man had become central to Caleb’s soul. If Caleb was a compass, Molly had become true North. Caleb hadn’t had a true North in a very very long time. Not since his parents deaths. Caleb closed his eyes and let her voice wash over him. 

He had been on the verge of asking Molly to kiss him in the back room. He had been on the verge of giving into his wants and giving into his desires. He had been on the verge of something new, something that promised to be thrilling and wonderful and exciting. Something that Caleb wanted. 

He needed to get back to Molly as soon as he could. 

 

Caleb hadn’t texted him saying he’d landed or that he was checked into his hotel. He hadn’t contacted Molly at all. Molly laid on his bed, Frumpkin pressed into his side, little kitty head on his shoulder. Molly grabbed his phone and took a selfie with the cat and sent it to Caleb. 

_We both miss you, so come home safe and sound_ He sent it off. 

Caleb’s phone beeped as he finally got the chance to sit down. The last ten or so hours had been traveling and then checking into the Hoover building to get him his identification that he would need then finding his hotel and Caleb was tired. He was bone deep tired and he wanted to sleep for a week. He sighed and snagged his phone, smiling when it was a picture of Molly and his cat. 

_I will be home soon, I promise. I just got into the hotel. I had to sign so many things._ Caleb sat up and pulled off his shirt. He had gained weight in the last month and he was no longer so thin he could see his own ribs. He had a nice lining of flesh on his bones and part of him was wondering how long this would last; how long he would have what the back part of his brain called his ‘summer fat’. He wondered what Molly would think of his body, now that he had something to hold onto. 

His phone beeped again and he snagged it. 

_At least now you’re contacting me, what do I have to do to get a message from you?_ There was another photo, this time of Frumpkin draped over Molly’s neck like a scarf while there was something like a hand-rolled cigarette in Molly’s mouth. Privately, Caleb suspected there was weed in it. 

_I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to contact you. I wasn’t sure if it was alright._ Something about airing his issues over text messages was easier than speaking them outloud. Caleb undid his bag and slowly started hanging up the clothes. He would be in the tiny hotel room for a good month, so he might as well get cozy in it. He changed into sweats (the same ones he cum in, the same ones Molly had worn), and his phone beeped. 

_Darling, you can *always* contact me *whenever* you want, alright?_ Before Caleb could reply his phone beeped again. 

_I miss you already, you know. I didn’t know I was so attached to you until I saw you walk away. I hope I never have to see you walk away from me ever again._

Something in Molly’s words touched Caleb. People had wanted Caleb by their side before, but never like Molly had wanted him. They had wanted Caleb by them because they didn’t trust him, because they thought he was going to make a mistake, to betray them, or mess up somehow. Molly wanted him by his side because he seemed to enjoy Caleb. He had said Caleb had a nice laugh. 

_I miss you too, you know. I never thought that I would miss someone the way that I miss you._ He hit send before he could panic and dug out the bag with his toiletries in it. He brushed his teeth, ignoring the way his hand shook with fear. Molly liked men. Molly liked Caleb. Molly had kissed Caleb’s neck and had sent want flooding his veins and had made Caleb want to kiss him. Was he wrong in sending that to Molly? 

_How do you mean, darling?_ Molly asked over the messages. Caleb spend a few seconds swearing in German and fiddling with the hotel shower before getting it right and replying. 

_Like when I go home I have something to come back to. I’ve never had that before._ Caleb stripped naked and folded the sweats up and placed them gently on the counter. Being neat and organized was ingrained in him after so many beatings for being messy. His phone beeped and Caleb quickly snagged it. His own speed to grab it surprised himself as he opened the message. 

_Darling, I am honored to be your home_ Caleb felt a wide smile split his face as he blushed. He didn’t know why he was acting this way, like he was sort of love-struck teenager. Molly was just a friend, nothing more. 

_I am happy for you. I have to shower, I smell like an airplane. Sleep well Molly. I will call you tomorrow night._ Caleb sent off the message and stepped into the shower. 

Molly grinned as he read Caleb’s messages. His heart was soothed. Caleb would call him tomorrow night, and he was safe in his hotel room. He thought of Caleb in the shower and his cock twitched. 

“Really? We’ve been through this. I don’t think it’s possible to rub you away but you seem determined to try.” Molly told his cock. His cock didn’t respond. His mind wandered back to the image of Caleb in the shower. Molly wanted to shower with him, he wanted to lick the water from Caleb’s skin, he wanted to run his teeth over Caleb’s hips before licking a path up his cock. Molly was fully hard now and God he _ached_ to take himself in hand. 

He was so tempted to, but no, Molly was going not going to masturbate tonight. 

Instead, Molly opened Grindr. He browsed the men on it, trying to find someone who looked down for a bit of fun. He stumbled on a man who picked “otter” and “leather” and was alright with casual sex. Molly grinned and sent the guy a message. Not fifteen minuets later Molly had put Frumpkin in the laundry room and was being pinned to the wall by the handsome stranger. 

Molly whined into his mouth as the guy pinned Molly’s hands above his head. 

“Hi. I’m Jake.” He bit Molly’s lower lip. 

“Hi Jake. I’m Molly.” Molly tilted his head back and arched his spine. 

“Fuck you’re beautiful.” Jake grinding his hips into Molly’s. Jake dropped to his knees and pulled down Molly’s sweats. 

“Yes, that’s it.” Molly gasped as he felt Jake’s tongue on the head of his cock. “Oh perfect, perfect, just like that.” Molly gasped and let his eyes fall closed. 

He writhed against the wall at the perfect wet suction around his cock. Caleb’s tongue flickered over the stud and Molly cried out, his hips jerked forward. Caleb didn’t even gag, he just took Molly’s cock right into his throat. 

“Fuck you’re good at this.” Molly groaned. “Fuck I can’t wait to get bent over by you.” He grabbed Caleb’s shoulders and ran his hands over his skin. Caleb’s hand came up to work his cock and Molly swore under his breath. 

“Yes, that’s it darling, don’t stop.” Molly was babbling. “You’re so good at this, fuck.” Molly’s toes were curling and his hips were rocking with the movements of Caleb’s head. He was getting close already and he could feel himself inching to the edge. 

“I’m close.” He warned. Caleb pulled off and slowly stroked his cock, running his thumb over the stud in the head of his cock. Molly whined, begging already. 

“Please, please let me cum.” He begged. “I’ll be good for you if you let me, please, please Caleb.” 

“My name’s Jake.” The wrong voice said from below him. A cold spike of fear went down Molly’s spine and he forced his eyes open. 

“What did I call you?” He asked gently. 

“Caleb. You called me Caleb.” Jake sat back on his heels, looking up at him. How could Molly have gotten Jake confused with Caleb? His hair was short and dark and his skin was dark and his eyes were brown and oh no he wasn’t Caleb at all and Molly wanted Caleb. 

“Pining?” Jake said gently. 

“Yeah.” Molly said. He felt tears prick his eyes and he took a deep breath. “Hey I hate to do this but-” 

“I’ll go.” Jake rose to his feet. 

“Thanks. You’re a good guy.” Molly shot him a sad smile. Jake kissed Molly’s cheek gently as he grabbed his keys and phone from the table. 

“Hey I’m just being decent.” Jake said. “I hope it works out for you. Maybe we could go out as friends?” 

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Molly pulled his sweats up and walked Jake to the door. “Drive safe.” He watched him climb into his car and drive off. He let Frumpkin out of the laundry and grabbed his phone. He curled up on the bed and waited for her to pick up. 

“Molly?” Yasha’s soft voice over the phone made the tears fall. 

“Yash…I miss Caleb.” He curled into a ball and started to cry. He told Yasha everything. All of it. From the drunken flirting to the midnight confessions to laving Caleb’s neck in the backroom to running through LAX with tears in his eyes to his failed hookup just now. 

“And here’s the fucking kicker Yash, he’s all the way across the country when I just want to tell him I love him!” Molly sniffed. 

“Hey, hey hey, it’s alright.” Yasha said softly. “You will be alright. He’ll come home and you talk to him and tell him everything. You can take him out on a real date. You can tell him you love him and everything will be fine.” 

“Yash, are you sure?” Molly said. He sounded so small and lonely and Yasha hated it. She hated Molly being in pain. 

“I’m sure.” Yasha said. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s only smiled for you.” 

“And for me!” Beau said from her place on the bed. 

“Beau’s there?” Molly said. 

“Yes. I’m with Beau at the moment.” 

“Fuck Yash, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Molly said. 

“It’s alright. I thought this might happen tonight.” Yasha said. “I can come over if you’d like.” 

“No, no, I know how you feel for Beau so spend the night with her.” Molly protested. 

“Alright. Call me if you need anything Mols, alright?” She said. 

“I will. Love you Yash.” 

“Love you too.” Yasha hung up the phone and sighed, turning to Beau. She turned back to Beau. 

She was naked, dark skin on display, scars running up her leg and her sides. Scars of knife wounds and burns and bullet holes. Scars of a violent life. She had been working out and her muscle tone was coming back and Yasha wanted to trace her tongue over her abs. 

“He alright?” Beau shifted, putting her hand over her head. Her leg was off, and Yasha ran her hand over what was left of her leg. 

“No. He’s missing Caleb.” Yasha explained. “He was crying.” 

“Dude he’s so fucking in love in disgusting.” Beau complained. “He’s so lucky that Caleb loves him back.” 

“Does he?” Yasha stretched. She was naked as well, with the harness and strap on Molly had given beau on the bed beside them. 

“Fuck yes. He looks at Molly like he’s the fucking prince come to save him. It’s gross.” Beau made a face and Yasha laughed. She ran her hand up Beau’s knee and over her thigh. 

“I didn’t notice.” 

“Yeah because you were looking at me.” Beau grinned. 

“Guilty as charged.” Yasha bent her head and kissed the soft skin of Beau’s knee. 

“Hey, do you want to go to him?” Beau asked. “I know he’s your best friend.” 

“I should.” Yasha rose and kissed Beau. It was new and novel and excited, kissing Beauregard. Yasha lowered her body over Beau’s and her girlfriend moaned into her mouth. “Later, though. Later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants me to make the playlist, I gladly will. 
> 
> EDIT: Here's the playlist. I always shuffle the music about on my playlists, so check back to see if it's changed! https://open.spotify.com/user/sofiatheclaw/playlist/2rulynDC66vUloXI5WvPzD


	9. Talks, Tears and Strangers

“We found them.” Winters led Caleb to a large cork-board. On it were satellite photos of Yellowstone. In the photos were large expanses of green surrounded a clearing. In the clearing were buildings, made of logs and tin. There were stables and fields and places to play and gather. There was a shooting range and in the middle of it all was the whipping post. 

Caleb knew it on sight. 

She passed him photographs. He knew the people in them. He saw Tracy and her eldest son and the rest of her brood, he saw Camille gathering flowers, he saw other men dealing with the horses and practicing at the shooting range, he saw Saul handing Esau a pistol and showing him how to stand. He saw Astrid and Aeodwulf, leading two horses out of the stable before mounting them and riding off. He saw Lucy, chin high with fire in her eyes as she worked alone hanging laundry, shunned by the rest of the women in the Compound. 

He saw Trent, with his steel jaw and long hair and his cane, overseeing it all. Rage filled his heart as fear ran down his spine. He was going to get this son of a bitch. He was going to bring them down. 

“This is them.” He looked into Winters’ face. “This is them.” He repeated. 

“Good. We need everything.” Winters said. She sat down as Fields pressed record. 

“What do you need to know?” 

The first day was Caleb telling them about the Compound’s security measures. He told them how everyone was required to learn how to shoot, how they had to log in twenty hours a week with the guns, how the men had to learn hand to hand combat, how they had to learn how to set traps, how to track, how to stalk, how to hunt, how to kill. 

He gave them numbers of the guns, what kind of guns, how many crates of ammo they had last, how many grenades, how many other weapons they had. He told them about the guard systems, about how the watches worked, he told them how they were sent out in threes, one to lead, one to fight up close, and one to fight at a distance. He told them about how they were rotated out in scouting missions, how long they were kept out, about the things they were taught to do. 

In the end they were in the room for nine whole hours. They had food and drink brought to them, and Caleb spoke until his voice was hoarse. Winters and Fields were working the whole time, taking notes, asking questions, pulling more detail from his answers. Caleb was bone tired by the time they shuffled out. 

There were others on the task force, but they were under the command of the pale man and the small woman. They looked to the Agents to lead and to Caleb for answers. He didn’t speak on the ride back to his hotel, he just paused long enough to order room service before shuffling into his room. He took off his shoes and undid his pants before digging out his phone and calling Molly. 

“Caleb!” Molly’s voice was bright and a wave of joy washed over him. Tension fled his body as Molly greeted him. “Hey there darling.” 

“Hello Molly.” 

“You sound tired.” Molly muttered. Caleb rolled onto his side and pressed his face into a pillow. 

“I am.” He confessed. “It was a long day.” 

“We don’t have to talk if you’re too tired.” Molly said quickly. 

“Honestly, Molly, the only thing that kept me going was knowing I could hear your voice tonight.” Caleb confessed softly. 

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Molly said and Caleb felt his face break into a grin. “I’ve missed you terribly.” 

“I have missed you as well. I haven’t been sleeping well.” He confessed. 

“I don’t like sleeping alone either.” Molly admitted. Caleb heard kissy noises and heard Molly pat his bed. “Hey buddy, it’s your daddy. C’mere fuzzbutt.” Caleb heard sniffing and a sharp meow and Caleb smiled.

“I am not his father, Molly.” Caleb admitted. 

“You are. You’re a cat dad.” Molly said into the phone. 

“He has not been too much trouble, I hope?” Caleb asked. 

“He’s been a doll. He didn’t even complain about being locked in the bathroom when I had a friend over.” 

“Why did you lock him in the bathroom?” Caleb asked. “Your friend could have met him.” 

“Caleb, it wasn’t that kind of friend. It was a Grindr hook-up.” Molly confessed. “I was bored and horny and he was free.” 

“Ah.” Caleb said. And odd feeling of jealousy rolled in his chest. He was upset that Molly had sex with someone that wasn’t him. He wanted Molly all to himself. The panic that came from wanting rose in his chest and Caleb took a steady breath. 

“Everything alright?” Molly asked gently. 

“No, but I do not want to talk about it.” He didn’t want to tell Molly he was jealous.

“That’s fair.” Molly admitted. “You know Beau and Yasha finally got together?” 

“They did? Wonderful, I shall send them a card.” Caleb snarked. Molly laughed and the sound was music to Caleb’s ears. He laughed softly, still feeling the strangeness of it in his mouth. 

“God I missed your laugh.” Molly said. “I haven’t made you laugh anywhere near enough.” 

“Molly, you are the reason I started to laugh again. You are the reason I smiled. You are the reason I started to talk. You have done more than enough for me.” Caleb said gently. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve the kindness that was inherent in Molly’s soul. Yet, for some reason, Molly had chosen him to bestow that kindness to. 

“Caleb, I would do it all over for you.” Molly said. “Anything for you. I mean it. I would….fuck Caleb there are no limits to what I would do for you. I hope you know that. I would gather the stars one by one if it made you smile.” 

“Molly, are you drunk again?” Caleb asked sadly. 

“Nope. I am stone cold sober.” Molly said. “Caleb, I mean everything I have ever said to you, drunk, high, or both. I meant every word. And remember what I said to you the night of Beau’s party? What I offered?” 

Caleb’s heart started to pound in his chest and he was wide awake now. 

“You offered a lot of things, that night.” He said gently. 

“Do you remember me offering to kiss you?” Molly asked. Caleb swallowed. 

“Yes. I do.” 

“It still stands.” Molly said. He was a bit breathless over the phone. “I remember it. And everything I said stands. If you let me, I will be both honored and delighted to be your first kiss.” 

Caleb’s breath caught in his throat. His hands were shaking and his mouth was dry but it wasn’t from fear. There was a different thing burning along his spine, something that Caleb couldn’t quite put a name to. It was something like joy and something like fear, some odd combination of the two. It made laughter bubble up in his chest and a shy grin play over his face. Self-loathing crept in at the edges, turning his world sour. Why would Molly want to kiss him? What made him think he was worthy of kissing someone like Molly? What made him dare to assume that he was anywhere near good enough to hold Molly, to touch him, to kiss him? 

“You do not want that.” Caleb said gently. 

“Firstly, Caleb, don’t assume you know what I want and don’t want, alright? Secondly, I do.” Molly’s voice was firm. “I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to do more than kiss and hold you. I want…God, Caleb I want you in any way, shape, or form you’ll let me have you.” 

Caleb felt tears prick his eyes and he shook his head before he remembered that Molly was on the phone and he couldn’t see him. 

“No, don’t lie to me Molly, I can’t take it if you lie to me. I’m not good enough. You can’t want me. I’m not good enough.” 

“Caleb, darling, my heart, listen to me.” Molly’s voice was so gentle that Caleb sobbed in his throat. “You are good. You are good and strong and brave, you are so brave. A month ago you weren’t speaking and now look at you, in the city across the country all alone talking to me on the phone! Look how far you’ve come! You’re so good and so brave and I am honored to have you as a friend and Caleb, I am not lying to you. I would never lie to you. Ever. You mean too much to me.” 

Caleb cried. He curled into a ball, pressing his knees into his eyes and he cried. He heard Molly muttering soft words over the phone and he forced himself to listening to them. 

“It’s alright to cry you know, you’ve been through so much, the fact that you’re alive is a miracle and it’s alright to cry.” Molly was saying. His voice was so soft and gentle it made Caleb’s heart ache. He wasn’t used to gentleness, he wasn’t used to kindness. He didn’t deserve it. 

“I don’t deserve this.” Caleb said. 

“Deserve what, my darling?” Molly asked. 

“Your kindness.” He confessed. “I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, this is too much, Molly, please stop. Stop being so nice.” 

“No.” Molly’s voice was firm. “I will not stop being nice. I will not stop being gentle with you. You have seen too much death and hardship and pain and suffering and with God, Mother Mary and the Saints as my witness I will do everything I can to keep you from ever suffering ever again.” 

“Why?” Caleb asked. “I am not worth this.” 

“You are to me.” Molly said simply. That shut Caleb up. He hadn’t considered that others may value his life. That others in this world may value his joy and his comfort and his happiness and his laughter. He hadn’t considered that other people might actually value him. 

“I am?” He asked gently. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “You are worth everything I have suffered. You are worth every step of my life that I can and cannot remember.” Molly had to bite his lip to keep from telling Caleb that he loved him. 

Molly was outraged at this. Who had broken Caleb so badly he didn’t believe himself worthy of kindness? Worthy of joy and light and beauty? 

“You do not know what I have done.” Caleb muttered. His voice was tiny and small and Molly felt tears run down his own face. 

“That’s in the past. I don’t care. The past is in the past. I live in the here, in the now, with you.” Molly wiped his cheeks and took a deep breath. “I don’t give a flying rat’s ass what you have done in the past. It’s done and can’t be undone. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Just know I don’t care.” 

“You are a very strange man Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Caleb said softly. His voice was hard to figure out. 

“What are you feeling, Caleb?” Molly asked. “Talk to me, darling.” 

“I…what do you mean?” He asked. Molly could hear the spinning of the ring in the background and it soothed a part of his soul that he didn’t know was anxious. 

“How are you feeling? Are you anxious? Scared? Angry? Nervous?” Molly said. “Right now I’m worried. I’m worried about you. I’m missing you. And I’m craving pizza.” Molly said. 

“I….” Caleb swallowed. “I do not know. Really.” He confessed. He fiddled with the ring. “I….I think-” 

“Not think, Caleb, feel.” Molly said. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, and I won’t do it again, but I want to know you feel. In your heart.” 

“My heart is muscle, it doesn’t feel anything.” Caleb deadpanned. 

“Is that a joke?” Molly asked. 

“Yes, Molly. That was a joke. I know what you mean.” Caleb rested his head on the wall and closed his eyes. 

“I….I feel scared. I feel unsure. I feel…I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff above an ocean, getting ready to jump off. I’m scared and thrilled and…I feel…” He took a shaky breath. “I feel worthless. I always feel worthless.” 

“Hey, two things, firstly, I think you should talk to Vax about this tomorrow. About how you feel about yourself. And secondly, you may feel that you’re worthless, but to me you are worth more than anything in this world, alright? Know that for me, deep in the fibers of your heart.” Molly spoke gently. 

“Yes Molly.” Caleb said gently. 

“Thank you Caleb.” 

“And did you just tell me to talk to Vax?” Caleb asked. 

“Shit, wrong twin.” Molly laughed. Caleb couldn’t help but join in, laughing. He laughed until he was gasping for breath and wheezing and his stomach hurt. 

“Oh I am telling her you said that.” Caleb gasped. 

“Don’t you dare!” Molly gasped, laughing. “She’ll kill me!” 

“No. She won’t kill you. She knows how much you mean to me.” Caleb said gently. 

“You’ll protect me?” Molly asked. “My knight in shining armor.” He laughed. “My hero.” 

“Ja.” Caleb said gently. “Your hero.” The words were somehow both bitter and sweet on his tongue. He knew that he shouldn’t call himself a hero, that he wasn’t deserving of it, he wasn’t deserving of the praise, but something in him wanted to be that for Molly. He wanted to be there for Molly, the way Molly had been there for him. 

“Shit, I need to let you sleep.” Molly said. “You have an early phone call.” 

“Ja. I do.” Caleb sighed, settling into the sheets. “I have to shower still.” 

Molly couldn’t help the little noise of want that came out of his throat at that. Caleb heard it and opened his mouth to ask if that was what he thought it was when Molly spoke. 

“Anyways, you gotta go, so go shower and go sleep, alright?” Molly said. “Sleep well Caleb.” And then he hung up. 

Caleb stared at his phone, oddly sad. His world seemed a bit darker, now that Molly had hung up on him. The cold, bitter emptiness was creeping back into his life and Caleb sighed. He plugged his phone in to charge and went to shower. 

Molly sighed, flopping back onto the bed. He was a stupid, useless, bisexual disaster who couldn’t even flirt with the guy he liked without causing him to break down in tears. What the fuck was wrong with him? He covered his face with his arms. 

He was usually a bright, happy, kind soul. He tried so hard to bring light to other’s lives that sometimes he forgot that his own light was fading. Molly had never really learned how to be alone, and on nights like these the depression crept in. It was like a fog, thick and black and oily, that snuck in from the under the doors and between the cracks in the windows and from the drains to wrap it’s limbs around Molly’s body and choke him to death. 

Molly knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep. He grabbed his wallet and keys, shoved his feet into some slippers and drove to the Cafe. He parked behind it, let himself in, disarmed the system with the code, shut the door, and moved up to Yasha’s room. He opened the door slowly, and his friend was reading in her bed. 

“Come here.” She saw his face and held out her arms for him, and Molly crawled into them, seeking comfort in her large frame. 

“Sorry I’m needy.” He mumbled. 

“It’s alright. You wouldn’t be you without it.” Yasha kissed the top of his head and he drifted off to sleep. 

 

Jester was just pulling down the last of the shades in the common room when she saw something. There, in the alley, was a man. He was tall, with dark hair and tanned skin, with a dark hoodie and he was pointing a camera at them. She paused, looking at him. 

“Jester, you comin’?” Fjord asked, walking up to her. 

“Fjord, are you seeing that?” She asked. “Is that real?” She pointed to the man. Fjord turned his head and the man looked up at them before vanishing into the night. 

“Yeah. I saw him too.” Fjord said. He put a large hand on her hip. “You hearin’ things again Jes?” He asked softly. He knew his girlfriend had some kind of mental illness that made her see and hear things that weren't there. They had established a system where, if she was unsure if what she was dealing with was real or not, she'd ask Fjord if saw or heard it too. So far, it worked like a charm. 

“No. No, but sometimes…sometimes it is hard to tell what’s real or if it’s my mind.” She shot him a smile. 

“Cain’t say I know what that’s like, but you keep askin’ me if I see the same thing you do, alright darlin’?” Fjord asked. 

“I will. I promise. Thank you Fjord.” Jester beamed up at him. He bent his head and kissed her softly. What they had wasn’t against the rules, really. Fjord just wanted to keep it quiet for a while. At least until all this drama with Caleb and Molly played out. 

“Not an issue, little lady.” Fjord muttered. 

“I like it when you call me that.” Jester beamed. She glanced out the window again. “I wonder who he was.” She asked as she wrapped her arms around Fjord’s neck. 

“Prolly just one o’ those city bloggers.” He wrapped his hand around her hips and cupped her ass. He loved her ass, how it filled his hands and how it moved when she was on top of him. 

“Mmmm yes.” Jester giggled. 

Neither of them noticed the man in the shadows taking photographs of them, or the red-headed woman in the car taking notes. 

 

Caleb paced. The phone was held to his ear, the remnants of his breakfast were sitting on the tray, and he was speaking to Vex. He told her what Molly had asked him to tell her. It all came out in fits and starts, and Vex had to coax it from him. He paced, pinning his phone to ear with his shoulder as one hand held the cup of tea and the other dragged Molly’s pendant over his lips. 

“Is that all, Caleb? It has been a few days since we’ve spoken.” Vex said over the phone. He heard the sound of clinking ceramic and her drinking something. 

Caleb opened his mouth to tell her about the moment in the back room; the moment Molly kissed his neck and how the touch of his lips on his skin sent a storm of want down Caleb’s spine. 

He found he didn’t want to tell her. He found that he wanted to keep that moment private, jealously guarded in his chest against the loneliness that was becoming his life. He knew he couldn’t lie to Vex, not if he wanted to recover and heal. But he couldn’t tell her this. Not yet. 

“There is something else, but I do not wish to tell you yet.” He confessed. He found that he wasn’t as scared as he should have been. He walked to the window, and opened the curtains. He could see the White House from his window and he knew that behind the hotel was the Hoover building where the F.B.I was located. He let his gaze travel to the museums he could see and he itched to go. 

“Are you drawing a boundary, Caleb?” Vex asked. “I am not angry, I just wish to clarify.” 

“Yes.” He said. “I am. I am not ready to talk to you about what else happened, but when I feel I am, I will.” Caleb said. 

“Thank you.” She said. “Let’s go back to those feelings of worthlessness you have.” Vex said. Caleb fought the urge to sigh. “Why do you feel like you don’t matter? Molly obviously thinks you do.” 

“I just…” Caleb sighed. He let his head fall onto the glass window. “I….I…” He took a deep breath. “I cannot talk about it. Not yet, Vex. Please, be patient with me?” 

“Of course.” Vex said. How was he to tell Vex that he wasn’t worth saving because he had lit the match that had burned his parents to death? How was he to tell her that he was not worth caring about because he castrated a friend and then failed to save his life? How was he to tell her that he was a killer with the blood of his family stained into the fabric of his soul? 

How could he tell Molly?


	10. When You Play the Game of Thrones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb watches Game of Thrones and makes a friend. Interesting phone conversation happens.

Caleb was nose-deep in a new book come Tuesday. It had been a three day weekend so the Hoover building had been closed on Monday, and Caleb had accidentally gotten hooked on a new show. He wasn’t sure what had drawn him in, but he knew that he was entranced by it. He loved watching the powerful families of the realm vie for the Iron Throne. He had taken his time, savoring the episodes, so he was only halfway through the first season. 

He had found bits of himself and his friends in the characters as he watched. He found Fjord’s patience and solidity in Ned, he saw Yasha’s quiet strength in the Lady Sansa, he saw Beau in Arya’s fire, he saw Nott in Catlyn’s motherly strength, he saw Jester in young Bran’s mischief, and he saw himself in Sam and Tyrion. Two men, both judged for what they were, outplaying those around them with nothing but their minds. He was more of a Sam than a Tyrion, if was pressed to admit. Tyrion was charming. Caleb was about as charming as dog shit on your shoe. 

But mostly he saw Molly. He saw Molly in the verbal games that Varys played, he saw Molly in the way that Littlefinger would smile as if he was in on some private joke, he saw Molly in how protective and doting Drogo was on his little queen, he saw Molly in how charming the Kingslayer was, he saw Molly in Jon Snow and the Knight of Flowers and in Lord Renly all the pretty men who graced the screen. 

The first time Renly and Loras’ relationship had been hinted at, he had turn off the show. There was no way this was allowed. 

Was it? 

Ten minutes later he had pressed play. The moment had passed, the eye contact made, Littlefinger had won the wager and the fear in Caleb’s heart was passing to be replaced by something else. 

Was he to be the butt of a joke his whole life now? Was he to be hinted at in winks and nudges? Was he to be an innuendo, hidden from view, only brought out to be mocked? Later, though, he was unable to rip his eyes from the screen. 

There were Loras and Renly, half naked, talking and flirting as Loras shaved his lover in an intimate moment. Yes, they were plotting treason, but Caleb found he really didn’t care about that. He was enthralled by seeing the two men together. 

Then Renly stood and Caleb watched as Loras kissed his way down Renly’s body and took him into his mouth. Caleb couldn’t look away. He knew that blowjobs were a thing; the married men in the Compound had bragged about forcing the unmarried women to do it for them. This was the first time, however, he saw two men. His cock swelled in his shorts and that night he had another dream, of him on his knees with Molly’s hands in his hair, Caleb gasping above him, crying out his name and shaking in his hands. Caleb had made a mess of the bed, and had forced himself to do the breathing that Vex had taught him to keep the panic at the bay. 

Caleb did leave a good tip for the cleaning ladies, knowing the would have to deal with the mess because he wasn’t able to. 

What the little Dothraki queen with the white hair had suffered had him skipping ahead. He had seen enough women getting hurt in his lifetime. He had mixed feelings about their relationship, but in end it seemed to him that Daenerys was happy. She was pregnant with a son on the way, a loving husband, and people who adored her. He was glad for her, even if her brother was a prick. He had found the first book in the library of the hotel was speed reading to catch up to where he was in the show on his lunches. 

He was startled from his book by Winters rapping on the table. 

“Caleb, there’s someone you should meet.” She stood aside and behind her was a woman. She was tall and thin, with skin as dark as Lucy’s, with curly, cotton candy hair like his wife’s, with burn scars on the left side of her body. Her clothes were simple and loose and light, floating around her body like gauze and she was shooting Caleb a shy smile. 

“Caleb, this Caliana. Cali, this is Caleb.” Winters said, sitting at the table. Caleb blinked and was going to open his mouth to say that she didn’t ask to sit down when Molly’s voice spoke up in the back of his head, telling him not to be rude. “She was in a similar situation to you.” Winters said. 

“Oh? You were?” Cali asked. Her eyes went bright as she sat down. “You were in a cult too? How did you get out? It’s so good to meet another survivor. Was yours a religious one like mine? Is it alright if I call you Mr. Caleb, or would you prefer me to use your last name?” She had a thick Australian accent as she spoke. She spied his book and beamed. “Oh you’re reading that? Those kinds of books weren’t allowed where I was. Have you read it before? Are you watching the show? Some people in the center I’m living at are watching it and they won’t stop talking about it.” She took a bite of her food and chewed. 

Caleb blinked. She talked a lot. 

“I…ah…” Caleb said gently. As he stumbled for words he was acutely aware of how much he missed and needed Molly. Molly would have known what to do, what to say. A quip and a smile and this girl would be laughing and beaming in no time, but she was stuck with awkward Caleb. 

“I am no good with people.” He settled on. “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh it’s alright Mr. Caleb! I’m not good with people either! We can be bad with people together!” Caliana beamed at him, tilting her face so that her bad side was hidden from view. Caleb wondered how she got those scars. 

She talked through the whole lunch. She told Caleb all about her cult, about she had escaped, about how she had been found in middle of the southwestern desert, barefoot, near death, but free. She talked enough for the three of them. 

“Well I need to be getting back, it’s good to meet you Mr. Caleb. Can I have lunch with you again tomorrow?” She asked. She look so damn hopeful that Caleb found himself doing what Molly would do. 

“Ja.” He said. “I’d like that.” He found it was the truth. 

“Fantastic! Have a good day Mr. Caleb, Agent Winters!” And she skipped off to her team, skirt swishing about her ankles. 

“She’s a bit sheltered, but I thought it might be good for you to have someone you relate you. Someone who has been through something similar.” Winters smiled at him. “I know you miss him. I catch you looking at your phone when you think nobody’s looking. It’s alright to miss him.” She clapped Caleb on the shoulder. “Be back in ten, Widogast.” 

“Javol, mien Komandant.” He said softly. He watched her walk away and he sighed. He picked up his phone and shot off a text to Molly. 

_I met a girl today who is like me. She escaped her cult, like I did._

He put his phone down and picked at his salad. He grabbed the fruit cup and shoved it into his bag without thinking. He had a little collection of non-perishable items going. He wasn’t sure if was a good thing, hoarding food like he was. He just knew that having the little stash of fruit cups and canned goods eased the knot of worry in his chest. 

_Don’t tell me you’re straight now, Caleb. You’ll break my heart._ There was a little winking emoji next to the words, but something in Molly’s words set Caleb to fretting. 

_No nothing of the sort and please do not joke about that. She’s just lonely. And very scared, I think. I know I was._

_Was? Was the past tense deliberate there?_

_Yes. I am still scared, but it is a different kind of scared._

_What do you mean? Different kind of scared?_

Caleb spent a good while typing before huffing and deleting it. 

_Can you pick up the phone? It is easier to explain_

Caleb’s phone ran in seconds and he picked it up. 

“Darling, hello there.” Molly said and Caleb grinned wide. He ducked his head so people wouldn’t see the silly grin that was across his face at Molly’s voice. 

“Hallo Mollymauk.” He said gently. 

“I like hearing you say my name.” Molly said as Caleb gathered up the food. He shoved the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth before dropping the trash off and taking his book with him. “It sounds good in your voice.” 

“It is a good name. I like saying it.” Caleb confessed. 

“So what kind fear are you dealing with?” Molly asked. Caleb walked down the halls of the Hoover building, clinging to the walls. He kept to the sides out of habit; it was easier to feel safe if he had something pressing into his side. 

“I…before the kind of fear was very feral. Very…well..” He was loathe to admit it. “Very animalistic. It was a blind fear, choking everything. It was utter terror. It left no room for thought. This is more of a driving fear.” He had reached the room that held the cult unit, and he paused outside of it. “I think it is because I have something to lose, now.” 

“What do you have to lose?” Molly asked. 

“You.” Was the first thing that tumbled from Caleb’s lips. “I could lose you.” The thought of losing Molly made Caleb’s heart hammer with fear. “I cannot lose you.” 

“And you won’t.” Molly said. “You will never lose me. Caleb, if you want I will walk by your side for the rest of our lives.” 

“It sounds like you are proposing marriage.” Caleb laughed a bit. 

“You’re right. A friendship marriage. Will you be one of my best friends, Caleb?” Molly asked. “I’d take a knee but I have Frump sleeping in my lap.” 

“You are a very strange man, Mollymauk.” Caleb laughed. 

“And you love it.” Molly said, and Caleb would tell he was winking. 

“Caleb, come on.” Fields stuck his head out of the door. “We’re starting and we need you to help clarify the maps.” 

“Ja, I will be there.” Caleb said. “I have to go, Molly.” 

“For shame. It was good hearing your voice. Call me tonight? I want to know what you’re up too.” Moll asked. 

“Not much. Just watching Game of Thrones and working with the F.B.I.” Caleb said. 

“Oh darling, I have seen every episode and we shall talk. Word to the wise: do not get attached.” Molly said. “Now go work. I’ll give the others your love.” 

“Thank you Mollymauk.” Caleb said gently. “And what do you mean do not get attached?” 

“Spoilers, darling. Really, Caleb. Please call me more. I worry about you.” Molly’s voice was soft and gentle and there was something in his tone that gave Caleb pause. 

“Molly, is everything alright?” Caleb asked gently. Fields stuck his head out again and Caleb held up a hand. 

“I just miss you darling.” Molly said. “Missing you is like missing an arm or a leg or a heart.” He laughed softly. 

“Are you drunk? Molly, it’s nine in the morning where you are.” 

“No, I’m sober. I just miss you terribly.” Molly confessed. “Come home soon.” The unspoken ‘come back to me’ hung in the static of the phone line. 

“I will. I promise. I’ll call tonight. I have to go back.” Caleb said. 

“Yes, of course. Go back to work darling. I’ll be here.” Molly said, hanging up. Molly sighed, bending over. He buried his face in the cat’s fur and Frumpkin woke with a soft ‘mrrp’. 

“Oh I’m fucked.” Molly said. “I am so fucked.” He shifted, laying on his back and the cat moved with him. 

“I love him.” Molly said to the cat. “I am head over heels in love with Caleb and I can’t make a move because he’s still healing and fuck me.” He sighed. 

“Why am I like this?” He threw his hands up and looked down at the cat. “Why do I do this to myself? Frumpkin, tell me. Tell me the secrets of the universe.” 

The cat yawned and then blepped. 

“Fitting.” Molly sighed. “Keep your secrets then, cat.” He stuck his arm under his head and pet the kitty, Frumpking settling down with a good purr. 

 

Caleb made sure to tuck the pizza box carefully into the trash can before picking up the phone. He wiped the corners of his mouth before taking a steady breath and calling Molly. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous, but he was. Molly’s phone rang a few times and then he picked up. 

“Darling, it is so good to hear your voice. I worked at the Cafe and oh my God this lady.” Molly said. Caleb could hear Molly puttering about the kitchen as he told Caleb all about this woman. 

“And the she had the audacity to say to me “I don’t see what the problem is, you’re the one not understanding” and I say to her “lady I cannot break the laws of physics, ice floats” and I wanted to fucking scream.” Caleb heard the microwave beep and the sounds of Molly shoving something into his mouth. 

“I gave her decaf.” Molly muttered pettily. Caleb laughed, sitting back on the bed. 

“Does she not understand how ice works?” Caleb asked. 

“Apparently the fuck not. Beau ready to go to jail for murder.” Molly said. 

“I can imagine. She is not a patient person.” Caleb said. 

“I would have been right there with her by the time she got her drink.” Molly muttered. 

“I am glad you did not commit murder. I would have to visit you and I do not like places with bars.” Caleb said. 

“Aw, you’d visit me in jail? How sweet of you.” There was the sound of juggling things and a meowing Frumpkin. “No, no, noodles are not for cats. Shush. Go.” 

“He is a beggar, ja.” Caleb said. “Just give him some and he will leave you alone.”

“When I get in bed. I want to get cozy when I talk to you.” Molly said with a laugh. There was the sound of a creaking mattress and cloth rustling. “There, much better. Here you go, you little beggar cat.” Caleb heard Frumpking happily eating and he laughed softly. 

“So you’re watching Game of Thrones? Where are you at, darling? Tell me everything.” Molly with obvious glee. 

So Caleb did. He told Molly where he was at, his feelings toward the characters, how he saw so much of himself in Sam, how he was reading the book and trying not to read ahead. He told Molly everything, except for how he saw Molly in the men in the show. Molly didn’t need to know that. 

“Oh you are in for a ride. Just wait until you meet Oberyn Martell.” Molly said. “He’s my favorite.” 

“Is he an ostentatious peacock of a man as well?” Caleb asked. 

“And totally bisexual.” Molly laughed with glee. “What do you think of Renly and Loras?” 

“I…um..” Caleb blushed. “I…” He sighed. 

“Talk to me, darling. I know you have issues with seeing men like that. Talk to me.” Molly said soothingly. 

“I liked it.” He confessed. “The….the scene where Renly and Loras were plotting was….” 

“What scene?” Molly asked. “Oh, you mean the bit where Loras sucked his cock.” 

Caleb choked on his drink, coughing. 

“Yes. That bit.” Caleb said. He cleared his throat and then took a steady breath. “I…I’ve never seen anything like that.” He confessed. “Renly seemed to be enjoying it.” 

“It’s very pleasurable. On both ends.” Molly said. “I like giving just as much as I like getting.” 

“Oh.” Caleb said. “I would - ah - not know.” He confessed. 

“I gathered as much.” Molly said. There was a slurping noise and Molly spoke around a mouth of noodles. “And that’s totally alright. With the kind of things you’ve lived through I’m kind of glad you don’t know. Means you’ve never done things against you will.” 

“There were women given to me, you know.” Caleb said. He hadn’t spoken of this, not to Vex not to Beau not Nott or Jester. Nobody knew about this. “They were given to me like gifts, for when I had done something Trent approved of.” Caleb said. He took a deep breath before continuing. 

“The first time a woman climbed into my bed I was fifteen. She was fourteen. She stripped naked and tried to kiss me and I refused. She was confused. I was appalled.” Caleb said. 

“She said that Trent had told her to come in and…and to make a man out of me.” Caleb sighed. “She was one of the bed warmers, the comfort women. Not considered wife material by Trent, but good enough to fuck. She said that I had done well on the hunt and that Trent had sent her to…to…” He sighed, running a hand over his face. “To take my virginity.” 

“Obviously you refused.” Molly spoke gently. Privately he was appalled. What kind of monster would do this to a girl? What kind of monster would send a young girl as a present?

“I told her no, she dressed, went back to Trent, and the next day was tied to the whipping post and switched. For ‘not trying hard enough’.” Caleb laughed bitterly. “She was also the last one to be sent to my bed. I fell out of his favor, after that.” 

“Well good.” Molly said. “Darling, I don’t use this word lightly, but I really hate him.” 

“I hate him too.” Caleb said. 

“Was this a common thing?” Molly asked. 

“Ja. He had no respect for women. It is one of the things we never saw eye-to-eye on.” Caleb said gently. “But the girl who was sent, she tried to get my underwear off and….and…” Caleb took a breath as the words caught in his throat. 

“You don’t have to say it.” Molly said. 

“No. I have too. It’s a healing thing, according to Vex.” Caleb said. “She tried to suck my cock. I pushed her off and told her no. That’s as…that’s as far as I ever gotten with anyone.” 

“Caleb, I am so sorry that you had to live with this.” Molly said. 

“It was not traumatic for me.” Caleb said. “It was terrible for the girls.” He said. “I tried to help them when I could, you know. Some of the men were not gentle in their lovemaking.” 

“That’s horrible. I like being marked and I like pain with my pleasure, but there is a line.” Molly stated. 

“You…what?” Caleb asked, confused. 

“I like being hurt a bit. It’s like salt with caramel or chili with chocolate.” Molly explained. “It makes it better. Just like when my partners are vocal.” 

“Oh?” Caleb asked. His blood was starting to run hot and his sweats were growing tight. 

“I like knowing I’m giving them pleasure. I like knowing I’m making them feel good. It’s why I like going down so much.” Molly mused. “I love nothing more than being on my knees with hands in my hair.” 

“Ah.” Caleb said, unable to do much more than blink. He was trying to control his breathing as his cock throbbed in his sweats. He was hard and he wanted to slide his hand into his sweats and touch himself as he listened to Molly speak. He wanted to know what Molly’s mouth felt like on his cock, he wanted to know what Molly looked like on his knees. 

“I’m sorry, this is making you uncomfortable, isn’t it.” Molly said gently. 

“That is…not the word I would use.” Caleb laughed gently. “I…in a way, yes but, not really.” He couldn’t tell Molly that he was looking at the tent in his sweats, wet spot starting to form at the head of his cock, and he was sitting on his own hand to keep from touching himself. 

“Would you like me to stop talking about this?” Molly asked gently. “It’s no problem if you would like me to stop.” 

“I….” Caleb swallowed. “I do not know.” His voice was shaking on the phone. He wanted Molly to continue, he wanted to hear what Molly liked in bed, he wanted to know what kind lover Molly was. 

“I need a yes or a no, darling.” Molly said. “I don’t do shades of gray when it comes to sex.” 

“I….” Caleb took a steady breath. Molly had said he would be heartbroken if Caleb lied to him. He could never lie to Molly. 

“I would like to hear more, about what you like in bed.” Caleb’s voice was soft and he was shaking. What was he getting himself into here? 

“You would?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb whined. 

“Alright, but if you feel uncomfortable, you tell me to stop.” Molly said. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I will. I promise.” Caleb said. 

“Good.” Molly said. “I like being tied up. I like wearing pretty things. I like corsets and lace and ribbons. I like being spanked. I like being face-fucked. I like being bent over. I like being bitten and marked.” Molly’s voice was low in his ear and thready with something that made Caleb’s hips shift. The head of his cock dragged against the fabric of his sweats and Caleb gasped without meaning to. 

“Caleb, darling,” Molly spoke, “Are you touching yourself?” 

“No.” Caleb said quickly. “That’s…that’s forbidden.” 

“Oh Caleb.” Molly spoke. His voice was gentle and sad. “There’s nothing with touching yourself. There’s nothing wrong with it at all.” Molly spoke gently. 

“It…giving yourself pleasure is free will.” Caleb said. 

“Trent was fine with sending women to your bed like they were nothing more than luggage but he was not alright with masturbation?” Molly asked. “I’m trying to understand, Caleb.” 

“Yes. Sex…there was still a chance a child could come from sex. A child is the greatest blessing of all.” Caleb said. He still believed that, to this day. “Masturbation is a waste.” 

“Darling, it’s not a waste.” Molly said. “I loved myself last night and this morning and hey, I might love myself again after I hang up.”

Caleb’s mind, always working overdrive, slammed him with the image of Molly, naked, cock in hand, head thrown back as he touched himself. Caleb whined and shuddered, gasping as he tried to hold himself still. 

“Caleb, are you hard?” Molly asked. “Because you could love yourself right now, if you wanted too. I can hang up, or I can stay here on the line, whispering into your ear.”

Caleb was panting, cock throbbing and he _ached_ to take himself in hand. 

“I can stay here, talking to you, telling you my fantasies.” Molly spoke. His voice was low like caramel, accented with a soft Irish accent and Caleb’s hand was shaking as he pulled it from beneath him. “There’s nothing wrong with this, with your body, with learning it, with learning what gives you pleasure, with taking your pleasure.” Molly continued speaking. 

“Caleb, are you still with me?” Molly asked softly. 

“Ja.” His voice was wrecked. He felt it rumbling in his chest, deep and rough. “I am here.” 

“Would you like that?” Molly asked. “Would like me to talk you through it? Or would you like to pretend this never happened? It’s up to you, darling.” 

Caleb closed his eyes. He wanted Molly. He wanted to do this with Molly. He wanted this to happen. 

“Yes.” He whispered. “Yes, I’d like for you to…to talk to me.” 

Caleb was too eager to be ashamed, too full of need to feel disgusted with himself. He needed this, he needed Molly’s voice in his ear and Molly guiding him. 

He needed Molly. Molly said that he did this to himself, and Molly was good to himself. Molly enjoyed taking care of himself, he pampered himself and he truly loved himself. If Molly did this, it couldn’t be wrong. 

“Before we start Caleb, a few things.” Molly said. “Firstly, I want you to use the light system with me. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go. Just like driving. Secondly, I want to say thank you.” 

“For?” Caleb asked. 

“For trusting me.” Molly said. “I know that this scares you, I know how you feel about this, and the fact you trust me enough to show you how to give yourself pleasure is a beautiful thing. Thank you.” 

“You are very welcome, Mollymauk.” A slow smile spread over Caleb’s face as something warm bloomed in his chest. The warm, soft feeling spread from his heart over his chest and down to fill his every limb. 

“Now, I want you lay on your back for me.” Molly said. Caleb complied, feeling open and exposed even though it was just him, alone, in his hotel room. Who was going to judge him? The pizza box? He told himself to get a grip. 

“Are you comfortable?” Molly asked. Caleb heard some shifted on Molly’s end, a grumpy meow, and a shutting down. 

“Yes. I am.” He said gently. 

“Are you naked?” Molly asked. His voice was a rumble into the phone. 

“No. I am in sweats.” Caleb said. 

“Good. I like to take my time with myself, teasing myself until I’m begging for it.” Molly spoke. 

“Why?” Caleb asked. “That sounds like it defeats the purpose.” 

“It’s more fun.” Molly laughed. Molly’s laugh was soothing to Caleb, it was bubbly and full of joy and everything good and bright in the world. “And loving yourself like this is so much fun.” 

“I would not know, so I am trusting you.” Caleb said. 

“You are in very capable hands.” Molly laughed again. “Now, I want you to slowly run your fingers over your chest.” 

“Why?” Caleb asked. He always had been able to keep that word from falling from his mouth. 

“It’s part of the game, Caleb.” Molly said. “Slowly now, with just your fingertips.” 

Caleb did as Molly said, trailing his fingertips gently over his chest. He sighed softly at the sensation, making little patterns as he dragged his fingers through his chest hair. 

“Do you remember before you left, that moment in the backroom?” Molly asked gently. 

“Of course.” Caleb said. 

“I would like you to remember it.” Molly spoke. “Remember how my lips felt on your neck, remember how my tongue felt on your skin, how it felt when I nibbled on your earlobe.” 

Caleb did so and a flash of want flared hot in his cock. He gasped, head falling back to the pillow. 

“Molly.” He gasped. 

“That’s it my love, feel it. Don’t fight it.” Molly said gently. “I love it when you moan my name that.” 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped again. He hadn’t touched his cock yet but he was shaking and a primal need was clawing at his throat. 

“Keep that up and I’ll cum in my pants.” Molly laughed. “Now, I want you to run your thumb over a nipple. Doesn’t matter which one, just do it gently.” 

Caleb’s hand drifted across his chest and he brushed his thumb over his nipple. A flash of white-hot pleasure burned down his spine and Caleb couldn’t help the moan that fell from his chest or how his hips jerked into the air. 

“Good, isn’t it?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb swallowed. “Yes, yes it is.” He did it again and whined at the feeling. His feet were searching for purchase on the mattress and soft noises were tumbling from his mouth unbidden, gentle whines and little gasps and Molly’s name, half-formed and unfinished before Caleb moved onto other noises. 

“Beautiful.” Molly gasped softly. “You sound so beautiful Caleb.” Molly’s voice was heavy with desire and oddly it made Caleb feel better, it made him want to be louder, to show off a bit, to see if he could wreck Molly. 

“Now Caleb, switch to your index finger and start making circles.” Molly ordered. 

Caleb had to turn his head to muffle his cries as he did so. He was getting loud and part of him wanted to keep this quiet so the others in the hotel wouldn’t hear. 

“None of that now, darling.” Molly said. “I love hearing you, I love hearing you moan and whine and gasp and I love it most when you moan my name for me.” 

Caleb turned his head from the pillow and gasped. His fingernail caught on the edge of his nipple and he cried out, hips bucking. 

“Molly.” He gasped out. “Oh. Oh Molly.” 

“That’s it, don’t fight it, give in, let go.” Molly urged. “I’d like for you to let yourself feel this, to let yourself feel good.” 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped. He head fell back and he whined. He had no idea that his nipples could be this sensitive. He was shaking and his cock was leaking onto his hip and the wet fabric was dragging over the head of his cock and he was shuddering with it and Molly’s voice was dripping like honey down his spine and oh Caleb liked this, he liked this quite a bit. 

“Now stop, Caleb.” Molly ordered. Caleb pulled his hand away with a whine. “I wonder if I can get you to cum from just nipple play. God you’re so damn sensitive.” Molly was breathing heavily into the phone. “Fuck there’s so many things I want to show you, but those can wait. Now take off your pants for me.” 

Caleb pinned the phone between his ear and shoulder and pulled his sweats down. His cock bobbed against his stomach, shiny and wet, as Caleb tossed his pants to the side. 

“Ah. It’s a bit messy.” Caleb said gently. There was no friction now and his hips were shifting on the bed softly. 

“You’re already leaking?” Molly asked. His voice was a mix of awe and desire and it made Caleb’s head swim with something like power. Knowing that he was the one to make Mollymauk Tealeaf sound like that made him shudder. 

Caleb wondered what other sounds he could pull from Molly’s beautiful mouth. 

“I have been for a while.” Caleb confessed. 

“You’re that turned on?” Molly gasped. “Fuck, Caleb.” 

“I have been since you told me what you liked in bed.” Caleb confessed. 

“That’s only the tip of what I like.” Molly spoke slowly. “Out of what I gave you what did you like most?” 

“Corsets.” Caleb gasped out. “You in a corset sounds…..” He swallowed as his cock throbbed. “It sounds beautiful.” 

“Me in a corset is a beautiful sight to behold.” Molly confessed, making Caleb laugh. 

“You are so very humble, Mollymauk.” Caleb teased. 

“Why should I be humble? I’m pretty and I know it. I flaunt what I got, and you seem to be enjoying it.” Molly laughed, which made Caleb laugh more. Here he was, in a hotel room across the country, hard and leaking against his belly, laughing with the man he had a crush on in the middle of phone sex. 

What had his life become?

“I do.” Caleb confessed. “I do.” 

“Excellent.” Molly said. “Now, Caleb, darling, my love, I want you to run just the pads of your fingers over your cock.” He ordered. “Right along the shaft.” 

“Alright.” Caleb said. He was somehow both nervous and eager. 

“Caleb, darling, can I get a color?” Molly asked. “You don’t sound eager.” 

“Green.” Caleb said without thinking. “I am just a bit nervous.” 

“Understandable. I was that way my first time. First things are always a mix of being nervous and excited.” Molly said. “But this is a green?” He had to clarify. He was hard against his own stomach, aching to touch himself, to fuck into his own fist and bring himself to completion with Caleb on the other end of the phone, but he could wait. This was about Caleb, not him. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. He reached down and trailed the pads of his fingers over his cock. 

“Oh.” He gasped. “Oh God.” He whined, his cock throbbing. Pure pleasure like nothing he had ever known crashed into him like a wave. “Oh God, Mollymauk.” He moaned, his eyes fluttering shut. 

“Fuck you’re incredible.” Molly gasped. “Take yourself in hand for me darling, slowly and gently.” 

Caleb did so and all that could come out of his mouth was a whine. His hips bucked into his hand and he cried out, arching his back. His head was thrown back, exposing his neck and he was shaking and there was sweat running down his temple and he was fighting the urge to thrust into his own fist. 

“Molly.” He sobbed, his voice cracking. 

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Molly’s voice was low and dangerous, thick with desire and Caleb could he was enjoying this. “It feels good, giving yourself this, doesn’t it?” 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped. “Yes it does, Mollymauk, may I move?” He asked. He was so still he was shaking. 

“You haven’t started moving your hand?” Molly asked. 

“You did not give me permission.” Caleb said. 

The noise that came out of Molly was like nothing that Caleb had ever heard. It was low moan, soft and breathy and it sent a shockwave of need right to his gut. 

“Fuck Caleb.” Molly groaned. “That’s….holy shit I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked. 

“For you to ask for permission. Fuck, that’s hot.” Molly writhed. His cock was throbbing and the fact that Caleb was waiting for permission filled his head with all sorts of delight images: Caleb with a collar, Caleb on his knees with his hands clasped behind his back with Molly’s cock in his mouth, Caleb on the bed legs held apart with a spreader bar as Molly ate his ass until he was begging Molly for more, Caleb with his arms behind his head riding Molly’s cock, crying out Molly’s name. 

Fuck. He wanted that, and more. 

He wanted sex with Caleb and lazy mornings with Caleb and mundane little things with Caleb. He wanted to go grocery shopping with Caleb, he wanted to go to the movies with Caleb, he wanted to wake up with Caleb next to him. 

He just wanted Caleb. 

“Molly, please.” Caleb whined. 

“Yes. Slowly, now. Take your time.” Molly crooned into the phone. “Don’t hold back your noises. I want to hear you take your pleasure.” 

Caleb slowly, gently ran his hand up and down his cock. He gasped, his eyes flying wide open at the feeling. It was fire, pure and hot and cleansing, burning his blood. He moaned from deep in his chest and set up a slow, steady rhythm. 

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck, Mollymauk.” Caleb moaned, shuddering. 

“God, that’s it Caleb, don’t stop. I want you to make yourself feel good.” Molly said. “Good boy.” Molly praised. 

It was as if a wire had been pressed to Caleb’s skin. He cried out, twitching as his thumb brushed the head of his cock. 

“Call me that again.” He begged. “Please, Molly, please.” His voice cracked and he waited. 

“You want me to call you a good boy?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb nodded. “Please, Molly?” 

“You want me to call you a good boy? To tell you how good you are, how perfect you are, how you obey me and how loud you are and how my name sounds in your voice is utter perfection?” Molly asked. He knew he was blessed with the ability to dirty talk like a champion, so he was pulling out all the stops for Caleb’s first time. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “Yes, Mollymauk, yes.” 

“Good boy, Caleb.” Molly made sure his voice was dripping praise and the effect was immediate: Caleb deep in his chest and Molly could hear his breathing growing harsher. 

“Molly, are you….ah…are you doing this as well?” Caleb gasped out. 

“No, this isn’t for me, darling. I can take mine later.” Molly said. “This is about you.” 

“I want you too.” Caleb said. Molly paused. He wasn’t sure was more stunning: the fact that Caleb wanted Molly to masturbate with him or the fact he dropped the word ‘want’ like normal people did. He seemed to be alright with the word ‘want’ if Molly was concerned.

“You want me to?” Molly asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I want…I need to know you’re finding pleasure in this too.” His hand was slowly working up his cock and he gasped as he twisted his hand over the head. 

“Alright darling. I will.” Molly pulled his sweats off and groaned at the feeling. He licked a strip up the palm of his hand before taking his cock in hand. “Oh fucking finally.” He sighed. He slowly stroked up his cock, moaning into his phone. “Fuck, I’ve been hard for ages.” 

“Molly, may I go faster?” Caleb whined. “Please?” 

“Yes, darling. I’m not going to tell you what to do anymore, alright? I’m just going to talk to you, to tell you all the things that I want to do to you, that I’ve pictured myself doing to you.” Molly’s thumb brushed over the piercing in his dick and he cried out. 

“Molly, talk to me, please.” Caleb asked. He wanted to just speed right up but he forced himself to take his time, to take his pleasure like Molly wanted him too. 

“Do you know want to know what I thought of last night?” Molly asked. “I enjoyed it. It’s something I want to try with you, once you’re back here in California.” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “Talk to me, Mollymauk.” 

“You were sitting against the headboard, back to it. I was in your lap, back to you. My arms were behind my back, my wrists in one of your hands.” Molly hand sped up and he whined. “I-ah-I was riding you, your cock deep inside of me and-oh fuck, Caleb- you were biting me and marking me and calling me all sorts of things, calling me yours, telling me I’m beautiful, saying how nobody else gets to see me like this.” Molly gasped, he getting close just from his words so he slowed his hand down. “And you were controlling my hips with your hand, and God Caleb you were a fucking tease, pulling me forward until just the head of your dick was inside of me and then pulling me back until I was damn near screaming with it.” 

“Yes.” Caleb moaned. His hand had sped up of it’s own accord and he was fucking his own fist in earnest now. “Yes, Mollymauk, yes.” 

“You want that?” Molly gasped. His voice was low and he practically snarled as he talked. “You want to fuck me? You want my mouth on your cock? You want my mouth on yours, my hands on your body, you want to make me scream your name?” 

“Yes.” Caleb confessed. “Yes, Molly, yes yes I…oh God..” Caleb’s thighs were shaking and he was leaking all over his hand. There was a pressure building in his stomach and he was gasping and shaking, a mix of German and English falling from his lips. It felt like a coil was tightening in his belly, growing ever tighter the more his hips jerked into his hand. 

“That’s it my love, I know you’re close, I can hear it in your voice.” Molly whined. “So am I. I want you to cum first. I want to hear you, I want to hear you as you let go, as you give in, as it pleasure overtakes you. Caleb, I want you to cum for me.” 

“Molly, Molly MollyMollyMolly.” Caleb was chanting Molly’s name over and over before something inside of him snapped. He cried out as his whole body tensed as pure, white hot pleasure ripping down his spine. He was caught in a tempest of his own making, his whole body twitching as he cried out, unable to keep Molly’s name from falling from his lips. He felt his seed land on his chest and stomach and hips and hand in ropes and he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was writhing on the bed, gasping, Molly’s name on repeat as he was unable to do more than shake. 

“Beautiful.” Molly gasped. “Fuck, Caleb I-” He came before he was able to let it slip that he loved Caleb. He moaned, his head falling back onto his pillow as he one of the most intense orgasms of his lip ripped a sound close to a sob from his chest. 

Caleb listened to Molly as he came and he knew that he was doomed. He would want this again, he would want Molly again. He waited for the old fear of wanting to come creeping up his spine but…it wasn’t there. Neither was the disgust or the revulsion he had been expecting. Instead there was peace. There was a warmth in his chest and belly and blood as he floated in a soft, gentle headspace. Caleb felt tears prick his eyes at how blessedly quiet his mind was. 

“Caleb?” Molly’s voice was hoarse. “Are you there? Darling?” 

“Ja.” His voice was thick and he sniffled. 

“Caleb, are you alright?” Molly’s voice was sharp with alarm. 

“Ja.” Caleb laughed a bit. “I…my mind is quiet.” He sighed as he blinked away his tears. “It’s quiet Molly.” He sniffled and went to wipe his face before pulling his dirty hand away. He didn’t want to get cum in his beard. 

“Is that a good thing?” Molly asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “It is a very good thing.” 

“Well then that’s good.” Molly whined. “This is the worst part for me. Fuck, the tissues are all the way over on the other side of the bed. Fuck.” 

“Oh no, poor dear.” Caleb said. “I am getting in the shower after this.” 

“Mmmm have I mentioned how sexy it is that you’re smart?” Molly said. Caleb laughed, enjoying the way his body hummed with pleasure. “Because it is. It’s sexy.” 

“I am nothing of the sort.” Caleb protested. 

“I disagree.” Molly said gently and firmly. “I think you are incredibly sexy and I am going to stop this train of thought before I end up getting hard again because holy shit that was amazing.” Molly laughed. “Did you like it?” 

“Molly, I am boneless. Yes, I liked it.” Caleb said. 

“Wonderful. Oh I’m so glad. It was your first!” Molly laughed. “Honestly, Caleb, I am honored that you shared this with me.” 

“Thank you as well Molly.” Caleb said. “I…I doubt that I would have done this on my own.” 

“For shame. Now you know how wonderful it can be. How good your body can feel.” Molly said. “Now, I am falling asleep where I lay. I need to clean up and then pass out.” 

“I need to shower. It…ah…went everywhere.” Caleb shifted, sitting up. 

“What do you mean?” Molly asked. 

“It would be easier to show you.” Caleb said. “I’ll send you a photo, yes?” 

“Caleb, I will gladly accept any naked or semi-naked photos of you that you wish to send me.” Molly said. “Holy shit, you are sending me nudes. I can die happy now.” 

“Not until I get my hands on you.” Caleb blurted out. He didn’t know where this confidence was coming from, but there was something about Molly that pulled it from his very core. 

“Is that a promise?” Molly asked, eager. “Darling, please tell me it’s a promise and that you’ll be willing to do this physically with me when you get home.” Molly’s voice was so wistful that Caleb’s own heart ached. 

“I….I need more time to think on that, yes?” Caleb said. “There are…things we must discuss, first.” 

“I understand. We each have nasty skeletons in the closet that need to be brought to light.” Molly nodded. 

“Go sleep Molly. I’ll send you the photo before I shower.” Caleb chided. 

“Alright, alright.” Molly laughed. “I’m headed to sleep.” Like he was going to sleep. He was going to wait up for that photo. 

“Sleep well Molly.” 

“And you as well, Caleb darling dear.” And Caleb hung up. He sighed, forcing himself to stand. His legs felt like sand as he shuffled to the bathroom. He flicked the lights on and fiddled with the shower before getting it going. He turned to the mirror and sighed. 

He was getting a little chubby, really. His stomach was now soft and there was a gentleness to his hips he had never seen before. He wasn’t rail-thin and hungry all the time, anymore. There was body hair on his chest and down his stomach and he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his hips before oping the camera app on his phone. He wasn’t willing to show Molly that, just yet. 

Caleb fiddled with the camera trying to find a decent angle. He didn’t want to show off his scars to Molly, not yet. He didn’t want Molly to see the horrors that were written on his skin. He found an angle he liked, one that hid his face and took a photograph. 

_See? I made a mess of myself_ and sent it before climbing into the shower. 

Molly heard his phone beeped and scrabbled for it so desperately he hit himself in the face. He swore and rubbed at his nose before snagging his phone. He opened the message and swore. 

It was Caleb, half naked, from the collarbones down. There was a soft dusting reddish-brown hair over his chest and leading down his stomach. He wasn’t ripping by any means but his hips were still sharp enough for Molly to run his teeth over. He was long and lanky and Molly was proud of the fact he knew Caleb would be an otter. There was also cum, dripping from his neck and his chest and his belly and his hips, and oh Molly wanted to run his tongue along Caleb’s body. His cock twitched and he huffed. He felt himself swell and he ignored his cock. He had already come twice today, he didn’t need three orgasms. That might actually rub his dick away. 

“Hush you. Tomorrow.” He told his cock as he saved the photo and let Frumpkin in before collapsing onto the bed, face-first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEAH THEY BE FUCKING NOW. 
> 
> Also, I'm on vacay so this may be the only update this week.


	11. Museums, Beaches and Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has a day out.

Caleb had planned to spend his weekend curled up in his bed, watching Game of Thrones and eating pizza from the place down the way. He was content to do that, but he found himself dragged out of the hotel by Agent Winters and Caliana. 

The two women had dragged him to the National Mall, Caliana babbling about the monuments and taking him place to place to show him her favorites. She had been in D.C for three months, working with her team, and had been to the monuments multiple times. 

Caleb’s favorite so far had been the Roosevelt monument. There was something calming about it, something about being surrounded by greenery, the gentle sloping paths, the sound of water bubbling from the fountains, the statues everywhere that Caleb enjoyed. He hadn’t wanted to leave, but there was a place that Agent Winters wanted to take them both. 

“They set this up for Pride this year, and it’s going until next June.” She led them up the steps. The building was low and squat, and there so many people around. There were family of tourists, and academics with their coffee and papers and students with their books and busses of children with their matching shirts and backpacks huddling around tired-looking teachers and it was a slice of normalcy that Caleb hadn’t had in a very long time. 

Winters led them into the building, flashing her badge to gain entrance right away. The cool, dark, quiet peacefulness of a museum settled around Caleb’s shoulders like a blanket. People were speaking in hushed tones, as if they were in a holy place, not a publicly funded museum. 

“My dad worked for NASA back in the day,” Winters said, “So I spent a lot of my time in Mall.” 

She led them through exhibit after exhibit, Caleb and Cali saw the collection of dresses the first ladies wore, they saw the history of cars and how they shaped the country, the history of protesting and how the right for the American people to raise their voice was a driving force in history, they saw the Star Spangled Banner, behind glass, being worked on by technicians to restore it. Caleb and Cali saw so many things, buttons and pins and photographs and outfits and papers and maps and Caleb’s eyes were wide and Cali was holding his hand and Caleb couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. 

They stopped in front of two large pillars. There must have been a screen on them, because the pillars had shifting flags playing across their surface. Rainbow flags and flags of pink and blue and purple, of blue and white and pink, and black and white and purple, of pink and red stripes, so many different flags that Caleb had to avert his eyes from the bright colors. Above the pillars was a mural of figures of people in bright, primary colors, dancing and playing and hanging from the mural was a sign that read “Love Is Love Is Love is Love: American PRIDE”. 

“Come on.” Winters said, grinning at Caleb and Cali. 

“Mr. Caleb, come on!” Caliana tugged on his hand and led them through the pillars. 

It was a wide open space, with walls lined with glass and photographs. Inside were people talking and whispering and pointing. There were men holding hands and women with their arms around other women and people who Caleb couldn’t quite tell if they were a man or a woman pointing at photographs and whispering excitedly. There were letters from Alexander Hamilton to his lover, John Laurens. There was letters from Emily Dickinson to the woman she loved, of Sally Ride floating in space, of Harvey Milk kissing his boyfriend on a parade float, of Bayard Rustin standing next to Dr. King as they led people in a protest march, there were pins and photographs. 

Photographs of men in service uniforms kissing and holding hands, of women wrapped around each other, photographs from World War One and World War Two and the turn of the century and people in garish clothes from the eighties marching in the street and pictures of celebrities lining a wall that Caleb walked down, pictures of faces that Caleb recognized. 

There was a large wall dedicated to the women of Stonewall, to Marsha Johnson and Silva Rivera and Major Griffin-Gracy and Stormé DeLarverie. There were flags there and protest signs and bricks and photographs and pins and Caleb’s head was spinning. 

There was a glass wall with a quilt in it. The quilt was massive, running from floor to ceiling, from wall to wall. The squares were decorated and Caleb read names on them, words as well. “brother” and “son” and “lover” and “creator” and so many different things. There was a denim jacket in the center of it, decorated with a pink triangle and the words “If I die of AIDS - forget burial - just drop my body at the steps of the F.D.A.”. 

He back away, standing in the middle of the exhibit. He was amazed by this. He wondered if Molly knew about this. He wondered if Molly knew about these people, about the community that they were both a part of. He wanted to bring Molly here, to show him this. He wanted to show Molly that Vex had been right. 

Vex had been right. 

This was normal. 

He wasn’t broken. 

He wasn’t alone. 

Caleb felt tears gather in his eyes and he put his head in his hands as Cali rushed forward. 

“Mr. Caleb, what’s wrong, please don’t cry, it’s alright, it’s okay.” She said, running his hand over his back. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.” She asked. 

“I didn’t…” He gasped. People were looking at him and Caliana. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know any of this.” He was shaking and Cali wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “I didn’t know any of this.” He said gently. 

“Hey, it’s alright honey.” A woman walking forward. She was short, with a shaved head, wearing a button down shirt and slacks. “It’s okay to cry.” She said. “This your first time here?” 

Caleb nodded, unable to speak. 

“It’s alright. It happens a lot.” She wore a badge that signified that she worked for the Smithsonian and she passed Caleb a few tissues. “I’m Charlie. I’m the curator for this exhibit.” 

“It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Charlie.” Cali chirped. “My name’s Caliana but you can call me Cali and this is Mr. Caleb and that’s Agent Winters from F.B.I!” Cali said. “You’re very handsome you know that?” 

Charlie laughed and shot Cali a warm smile. 

“Thank you Cali.” She said. “Here, take a few more tissues and take your time wandering, alright. At the end there’s something you should take in, so go on.” Charlie smiled at Caleb, showing a gap in front teeth. Something about her made him think of Beau, and he found he missed Beau too. 

“Thank you Miss Charlie!” Cali said. “Mr. Caleb, are you okay now?” Caleb turned to him, eyes wide. 

“Ja.” He said. He ran his hand over her afro. “I am well. You know, if you like I can do your hair when we get back. My….my wife back at the Compound had hair like yours and she taught me how to do it for her.” 

Cali’s eyes lit up and she beamed at him. 

“Yes!” She let Caleb go and jumped up and down in a little circle. “Thank you Mr. Caleb!” She took his hand and led him down the hallway, past more pins and photographs and collections of things from people, some who Caleb knew and some he didn’t. 

“Oh, Mr. Caleb, look!” She gasped and pointed. She was pointing to a large screen covered with thousands of pictures. They were shifting and moving and they were full of people. 

Of men and woman kissing and hugging and holding hands. Of couples holding dogs and cats and families with signs saying “today I am adopted”. Of young men holding signs saying “first day on T!” and youg women beaming with signs that said “E: day one!” and people with white hair in wheelchairs sitting in a church and getting married and young people holding flowers asking their partners to prom and people smiling and going on dates and living their lives and being wonderfully happy. 

Caleb saw a face he knew out of the corner of his eye. It was Vax’ildan, tangled in sheets, with Shaun and a red-headed woman kissing both cheeks. He was beaming with joy and they were laughing in the photograph and Caleb grabbed his phone and took a picture of it before it could vanish. 

“I know his sister.” Caleb said to Cali. “She’s my therapist.” He sent the picture to Vex explaining the message. 

 

Vex sighed as her phone beeped with Caleb’s ring tone. She was sitting on the beach, enjoying her day off. Keyleth and Grog were bickering in a family like way, Scanlan was dozing on his towel and Percy was hunched over his tablet, scribbling away. It was as peaceful as it was ever going to get. 

“You don’t have to answer, you know.” Percy muttered. She glanced over to him. He was sitting under the umbrella, his English-pale skin too delicate for the direct sun. His pen came to a stillness as he looked at her over his glasses. 

“It’s Caleb. He may need me.” Vex sat up and grabbed her phone. She rolled over into Percy’s shade to see her phone screen. 

“Did you answer when I was your patient?” He asked softly. Vex pushed her sunglasses up to rest on her hair. 

“Every time.” She said. 

“Even when it was two in the morning?” He shot her a shy smile. Something about his smile made her heart flip. 

“Especially if it was two in the morning. Those are the bad times for a lot of my patients.” Vex said. “I know those are bad times for you.” 

“You don’t have to answer you know.” Percy said gently. His tenor was soothing to her soul. He was barely speaking when she had been given his case. Together they had unlocked his voice. 

“I do. You need me.” She said gently, looking into his deep gray eyes. She reached up and brushed a lock of white hair from his face. His hair had gone white with what he had suffered, and Vex was still surprised by that. She thought it had been a trope used in particularly bad penny dreadfulls. She had never expected to see it in person. 

Percy’s eyes closed behind his glasses and he leaned into her touch. 

“Maybe I should start calling my other therapist.” He muttered. 

“Oh? Are you so eager to replace me, darling?” She teased. 

“No. No I’m not.” Percy opened his eyes. “Vex…” 

“Yes darling?” She asked. 

Somewhere, behind them, Scanlan starting singing. 

“Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl.” Scanlan crooned, lifting up his sunglasses and wiggling his eyebrows at them. Vex grabbed the nearest empty beer can and raised it in warning. 

“I never miss.” She threatened. 

“Quit while you’re behind, Scanlan.” Percy said, voice dark as thunderclouds. “Vex, your phone.” 

Vex grabbed it and unlocked her phone, gasping with delight. 

“What is it?” Percy asked, leaning over to look at her phone. There was a shriek as Grog picked up Keyleth and physically threw her into the ocean. 

“Look! It’s Vax!” Vex beamed at Percy. 

“What?” Grog asked, hauling Keyleth out of the foam. 

“Look! Kiki!” Vex waved her phone as Keyleth spat out a mouth of sea water as Grog picked her up. Keyleth was perhaps a hundred pounds dripping wet and Grog picked her up under his massive arm like people picked up tiny dogs. “It’s you!” Vex called over. 

Keyleth wriggled her way out of Grog’s grip as Scalan woke up. 

“What’s going on?” He asked, pushing his sunglasses over his face. He had just come back from an international tour and he was tired. He loved touring and seeing his fans and performing for sold-out stadiums, Vex knew, but he was still happy to be home. They were stretched out on his private bit of Malibu beach, enjoying the peace and quiet away from the Hollywood chaos that revolved around the rock star’s life. Keyleth saw the photo and squealed with delight. 

“Can you send it to me? I want to send it to them!” She grabbed her phone as Vex replied to Caleb, telling him to send it to the others at the Cafe. She knew that Beau would want to see it. 

 

Molly’s phone beeped as he sat on the counter. Nott would have told him that counters were for glasses, not for asses, but Jester didn’t mind. He was keeping her company as she decorated the sugar cookies for the Cafe, happily licking the cookie dough from the bowl. He smiled at the picture that Caleb sent him, and he pushed the button to call. 

“Caleb, darling, where did you find that photo?” He asked as soon as Caleb picked up. He got to listen to Caleb happily babble about the museum, about the things he saw and the photographs and how much he wanted to take Molly there one day. He had put Caleb on speaker, Jester was listening as she piped, Beau had her coffee as she laughed, Yasha’s arms around her shoulders, and Fjord was smiling at Caleb babbled. They were all happy for him. 

“Mr. Caleb who are you talking too?” Came a new voice over the speaker. 

“Who’s that darling?” Molly asked.

“My name is Caliana but you can call me Cali! Agent Winters introduced us because I escaped a cult too! Who are you?” The voice was female and Australian and Molly couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Hello Cali. My name’s Mollymauk but you can call me Molly. I’m a good friend of Caleb’s.” He said. 

“Hello Mr. Mollymauk!” Cali chirped over the phone. Jester grabbed the phone from Molly’s hand and they started talking. Molly rested his foot on the counter and his knee on his head as he watched Jester and Cali become best friend in a matter of a few heartbeats. He closed his eyes and listened to Caleb’s voice in this distance, a tiny smile playing on his lips. 

Caleb would be home soon. Caleb would come home and then he can take Caleb on a real date and then then then they could do all they want to do. 

“God, you’re so in love it’s gross.” Beau whined. Molly took a scrap of dough and threw it at her. 

“I am not in love, you’re in love.” He replied. Beau took the dough and threw it at Molly, hitting him in the head. Beau and Molly bickered until Jester passed Molly back his phone. He stuck his tongue out at Beau and took Caleb off of speaker as he jumped down from the counter. 

“You know, I’m glad you’re making friends.” Molly said. He wove through back room and headed up the steps. He shouldered open the door to Caleb’s room and sat on his his bed. 

“You know, Los Angeles has the Getty.” Molly said. “I’d like to take you, when you’re back here.” 

“I….what?” Caleb asked him. 

“I’d like to take you to the Getty. On a date.” Molly clarified. 

“I…” Caleb watched as Cali skipped along the edge of the reflecting pond, talking with Agent Winters. They were both out of earshot. “Why?” He asked. 

“I would like to.” Molly said simply. 

“Alright.” Caleb said. “I…yes, Mr. Mollymauk.” Caleb teased gently. 

“Wonderful.” Molly felt like his face was going to split in two from his smile. 

“Mr. Caleb, hurry up!” Cali called. 

“I have to go.” Caleb said. 

“I’m pulling some closing shifts at the Cafe, so I won’t be able to talk for a few nights.” Molly said. “I’ll call you can as soon as I can.” 

“I’ll be here.” Caleb said, catching up with Cali and Agent Winters. “Have a good day, Mollymauk.” 

“And you as well, Caleb.” Molly hung up the phone. Molly grinned and allowed himself to do a little happy dance. He had a date with Caleb. He laughed and ran down the steps, throwing an arm around Beau. 

“Alright, who’s ready to work!” He ruffled Nott’s hair and threw on his apron, beaming as he slid onto the floor. 

“Whatever has him in a good mood makes me scared.” Beau grumbled. 

“It must be something good. He’s been moping for two whole weeks.” Jester said. 

“Caleb’s been gone two weeks now.” Yasha said. 

“You think his mood has to do with Caleb?” Nott asked. Yasha nodded as she pulled on her own apron. 

The day went by smoothly and Molly was finishing up his smallwork. He was singing under his breath as he worked, wiping down dishes. 

“You loved me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.” His feet moved in small little dance steps as his mind wandered. He had a date with Caleb, spare money in his pocket from picking up shifts at the Cafe, and he had the promise of not only a date but the chance to kiss and hold and touch Caleb. He ignored Beau talking into the headset telling him to shut up and stop his singing. 

Life was going well. 

He heard the door open and he turned, smile on his face. “Hi there!” He threw the towel over his shoulder as he face the new comers. 

They were a man and a woman, both older. They both had the sun weathered skin that spoke of a life lived outdoors and they were wearing clothes a little of out of fashion and worn, but clean. The woman had long red hair, pulled back into a braid with soft green eyes and freckles across her nose. The man had dark, curling hair, a widow’s peak, and gray at his temples. 

“Careful Molly,” Beau’s voice said into the headset, “They’re packing. I can tell by they way they walk.” 

Molly wasn’t sure if it was Beau’s paranoia acting up, but he trusted her judgement. She knew more about guns than he did. Fjord came limping out of the back to pretend to clean, watching them out of the corner of his eye. Yasha leaned against the wall, watching the couple. 

“Beau’s right. They’re dangerous.” She said into the headset, before vanishing into the back. 

“What can I get you guys?” Molly said, on full alert now. If Yasha thought they were dangerous, they were. He was bright and open and friendly and courteous the whole time, knowing it was his job to diffuse this before it went sour. He took their orders and threw in some extra food to get on their good sides. 

“I’m gonna need your names for the cups.” Molly up the woman’s order. “Your name?”

“My name is Astrid.” She smiled at him all teeth and something unsettling behind her eyes. 

“Astrid, nice! Like in that dragon movie!” Molly wrote it on the cup before turning to the man with his cup. 

“Mine’s Aeodwulf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "Love is Love is Love is Love" exhibit is not real. I am a history major and it is my dream to put this exhibit together at the Smithsonian one day.


	12. Group, Confessions, and Stalking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with the discussion of the castration and death of a gay man, and has liberal use of the word 'fag'. Read at your own choice.

“Caleb, out of all of these people, who is the most dangerous?” Fields asked. He snagged a dumpling with his chopsticks before it could go into Winters’ mouth. She squawked and stole a bit of chicken from his plate. Caleb looked from his own plate of Chinese to the faces on the wall. He knew them all, he had grown into adulthood with them, he had hunted with them, trained with him, survived with them. They had been his friends and his family, before he knew what friends and family really were.

He had loved them, before he knew what real love was. 

Without thinking he walked up to Astrid’s photo and tapped it. 

“Her.” He said. “She was the only woman allowed in the ranks of the Rangers.” He explained. “She’s an excellent sharpshooter and deadly with a knife, and she will do anything Trent tells her too.” 

Caleb sat back down on a desk, looking at the face of his friend. Her red hair was bright in the photographs of her and Aoedwulf. “I once saw her cut off a man’s finger for daring to grope her. He was taken from the front lines and put into the fields. It’s hard to be a sharp shooter without a trigger finger. She’s smart, silent and deadly.” Caleb said. “All of us Rangers feared her.” 

“Rangers, the ones who are allowed outside, right?” Fields wrote down in his notes. 

“Ja. We were taken at the same time. She took to Trent and his message in a way I never did. I guess she was looking for a purpose.” Caleb mused.

“Aren’t we all.” Winters muttered. 

“She’s know that she is unique among the women. She is the only one allowed outside, the only one allowed to wear pants, to cut her hair, to run around with the men. She wanted to marry me, you know. She asked Trent for permission and he said no. She ended up marrying Aeodwulf. She knows that the is above the other women, but she still obeys Aeodwulf without question. She knows that her place is below him, bearing his children. They haven’t been given permission to have a child, yet. They will, soon.” Caleb said. 

“How do you know?” Fields asked. 

“I was in their unit.” Caleb said. “The way the units are set up is that you have person who can kill, one person who can talk, and one person who can direct.” He sighed. “Aeodwulf was the leader. Astrid was the killer.” 

“You were the talker?” Fields asked. Caleb shot the pale man a tiny, sad smile. 

“I used to be quite charming, you know.” He laughed bitterly. “Before…all this.” He waved in the general direction of his head. 

“You are very charming Mr. Caleb!” Cali chirped from her own corner. Her afro had been braided into long, tiny braids by Caleb, and they had bonded during the hours it had taken. 

“Thank you Cali.” He said gently. Their rooms had been separated by a folding wall, at first. Eventually the head of the unit, and older woman with gun gray hair had gotten tired of Caleb and Cali flitting between the two, and they had folded the wall back. Now they had one large room, with everyone from the two teams working together. 

“I know they wanted to have a child, but due to Astrid’s…unique nature Trent had to tell them when they could.” Caleb continued. “And now with me gone they are in the prime position to be able to have a child.” 

“If they’re not hunting you.” Fields commented. 

“What?” Caleb turned to him, eyes wide. 

“Caleb, we have a security detail on you twenty four seven. We have people trailing your every move. We have people keeping eyes on you. We have people in the park, watching them,” he pointed with his chopsticks, “and if the shrinks say that Trent will send people after you to bring you back and make an example of you.” 

Caleb closed his eyes, memories coming back in a rush. His mind was filled with the feeling ropes on his wrists, the post on his cheek, the sound of the switch in the air, the feeling of it burning across his back like a line of fire, the chains on his wrist, the pressure on his shoulders as he dangled from his wrists, the pressing darkness and silence of being blindfolded and gagged as he dangled in the cells for three days. He started to shake and he found himself doing the breathing that Vex had taught him. He calmed down bit, by bit. 

“We have to find them.” Caleb said. “You need everything I have to bring them down. Bring them down and bring them to justice. Lock him up.” His voice was low and he was shaking with anger. “Lock that son of a bitch up so he cannot hurt anyone ever again.” 

“We will.” Fields said. “We will.” 

 

Caleb took a sip of his tea as Beau spoke. Vex had graduated him to group therapy now and today they were discussing relationships. It was just himself, Beau and Fjord. Jester and Nott and Yasha were down in the cafe, working. 

“So yeah, that’s how that fucking relationship ended.” Beau whined. She was incapable of sitting in chair properly, so today she was sitting on the back of the chair with her feet resting on the seat of it. 

“Beau sit your ass down, you’ll break somethin’.” Fjord grumbled. 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” She flipped him the bird. 

“Now, now.” Vex said gently. “How did that make you feel?” She asked Beau. 

“Pretty fuckin’ shitty.” She grumbled. “I mean fuck I was going back overseas and she broke up with me because she ‘couldn't handle the distance’?” Beau huffed. “Don’t date a fucking soldier if you can’t do distance.” 

“I am sorry Beauregard.” Caleb said gently. “You must have cared for her deeply to still be angry about this.” 

“Well yeah.” Beau muttered. “She was my first love. Like, you know when you’re gay you don’t get to have the teenage romances and shit, so you’re in your fucking adulthood making mistakes that you never got the chance to make when you were a kid and you feel like shit?” 

“No,” Caleb said. “When I was seventeen I was killing bison and camping on glaciers.” 

“Yeah you’re fucking weird.” Beau grumbled. “Well that’s what fucking happened. I fell in love at nineteen and got my heart broken.” 

“Thank you for sharing Beau.” Vex said. “Caleb, what about you?” 

“What about me?” He asked softly. He was nervous about sharing this, about talking about this. 

“Have you had any relationships?” Vex asked. 

“Not in…the way you are thinking.” Caleb said. He laughed a bit and drank his shitty hotel tea. He missed the tea Molly had made him. 

He missed Molly. He sighed, turning on his phone to glance at the picture of Molly on it. 

“Well, in what ways have you had a relationship?” Vex asked. 

“I…well….” His mind flitted to Molly. “I…have…I mean…” He took a breath. “Molly and I have been….talking.” 

“Just talkin’ or have you two been ‘talkin’’ talkin’.” The distinction was clear in Fjord’s voice. 

“The latter.” He confessed. “I…we…before at the Compound, we were taught that masturbation was wrong. He…helped me realize that what Trent said was wrong.” 

“Did you two have phone sex?” Beau asked. 

“Yes.” Caleb blushed bright red and looked away. 

“God, I’m never touching his phone again.” Beau whined. 

“Now Beau, no judgements.” Vex said. 

“Molly’s like my brother, I’m allowed to be grossed out!” Beau said. 

“That’s fair, but keep it for later, alright?” Vex said. “This is Caleb’s time.” She turned to him. “So you and Molly have a new level of intimacy?”

Caleb smiled softly. 

“Ja. And when I get back he is taking me to the Getty.” Caleb laughed a bit, making the others blink in surprise. “I…he said it was a date.” 

Fjord slow clapped a bit and Beau sighed. 

“Maybe now he’ll stop fuckin’ moping.” Beau said. 

“Naw, he’ll mope until Caleb gets back.” Fjord replied. 

“Ugh, you’re fucking right.” She slunk into her chair, planting her ass on the seat and she slouched. 

“He is moping?” Caleb asked. 

“He’s pinin’ for you.” Fjord said. 

“Dude, the night you left Yasha and I were fucking and he called Yasha right as we were getting to the good part and he was crying and he talked to her for fifteen minutes about how much he missed you.” Beau said. “Dude, he’s got it bad.” 

Caleb paused, looking away. Was Molly really pining for him? Did Molly really care about him that much? How could Molly care for him? What did Molly expect out of this? 

“Caleb? Are you alright?” Vex asked gently. He blinked, looking at the laptop screen. 

“I….” He sighed. “I am terrified.” Caleb confessed. His hands were shaking. 

“Why?” Vex asked. Beau shifted to lean forward, her elbows on her knees. It was a gesture that reminded him of Astrid and Lucy back in the Compound. 

“What if…” He swallowed. “He already said he wants…he wants…” He took a deep breath. “He already said he wants me to fuck him.” Caleb looked at Vex. “I cannot condemn him that way.” 

“You ain’t gonna kill him with your dick, Caleb.” Fjord said gently. 

“Yeah dude, you don’t have a deadly dick.” Beau picked up a TV remote and stuck it between her legs and waved it about while making lightsaber noises. 

“Hush you two.” Vex said gently. The friends stopped talking and turned back to Caleb. “Caleb, can you tell us why you think having consensual sex with Mollymauk would condemn him?” 

“I…..” Caleb took a deep breath. He grabbed Molly’s pendant and ran his thumb over the metal. 

“At the Compound,” he started, “there were two men. Saul and Michael. They were older than me by a good few years, and they were very close.” He said. 

“Like, you and Nott close or you and Molly close?” Beau asked, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“At first I thought it was just the first one.” He said. “They were always together, working with the animals. They had not taken any wives, but they were kind to the women. When I was let out of the holding pens they were kind to me. They took me in, showed me around, showed me the rules. They helped me train to become a Ranger.” He said. “Saul was very handsome, you know. Tall and lithe, with curly hair and good cheekbones.” 

“Like Molly.” Fjord said. 

“Dude you have a type.” Beau said. Caleb laughed gently. 

“Apparently I do.” He admitted. “Well, they were my friends. They were kind and they were always together, in each other’s company.” 

Caleb’s hands started to shake and he pressed the metal of the pendant to his lips. 

“What happened to them, Caleb?” Vex asked gently. 

“They….they….” He gripped the pendant in a white-knuckle grip. “They were found.” He forced himself to keep speaking. 

“They were found and brought before Trent during the evening meal, and Astrid told everyone what she had seen. Trent said….he said that if Saul wished to be fucked like a woman, he would make him a woman.” Caleb shut his eyes. 

“Michael was whipped and sent down into the cells. Saul was stripped naked, and tied down to the high table. Trent…he then….he then gave me a knife, and told me to castrate him.” 

Fjord hissed and Beau choked on her coffee. 

“I refused.” Caleb continued with the story. “Trent broke my nose. I…I…I tried to make it as clean as I could.” His voice was thick with tears and he started to cry. “I tried to make it as painless as possible. Once it was done, and his…his…bits were lying on the ground, I had my hand over the wounds, and I begged permission to try to save his life.” 

“I can…I can still feel the blood on my hand, on my wrist, running down my arm.” He was crying freely now, not bothering to wipe his tears. “Trent said I could try, and that if he lived he would be put into the women’s quarters. I took him back to the medical wing and I managed to stop the bleeding.” Caleb’s voice broke. 

“But we were so far out, and despite all I knew infection set in.” Caleb curled into a ball, his chin on his knees. One hand was clutching his sweats, the other was holding Molly’s pendant close to his heart. “I tried. I tried. Please, believe me I tried. I didn’t have what I needed, no antibiotics, no pain killers, no medicines really. All I had was garlic and witchhazel. I sat there, holding his hand, doing my best to keep him cool as the fever and the blood poisoning killed him. I held his hand as he asked for Michael, over and over and over again. I couldn’t get Michael out. I tried. I begged Aeodwulf to sneak Michael out of the cells, and got whipped for it. I….I held Saul’s hand as he died.” Caleb sobbed.

“I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save him. I killed him. It was my fault he died.” Caleb cried. “I castrated him and then I condemned him to a slow death, a painful death, without the man he loved by his side. I….oh God it’s my fault. Please, forgive me, I tried, I tried I tried I tried.” He was rocking as he cried, burying his face in his knees. 

“Caleb, it’s not your fault.” Beau said. She was the first to speak. Her blue eyes were fixed on his face. “Dude, it’s not your fault.” 

“Why did Trent order you to castrate Saul?” Vex asked. 

“He….He saw…” Caleb lifted his head, wiping his cheeks. “He said he saw how I was looking at other men, and that this is what was in store for me if I did not change my ways.” 

Beau made a noise like an angry Frumpkin as Fjord’s jaw clenched. 

“Caleb, dude, look at me.” Beau leaned into the screen. Caleb lifted his eyes and looked at his friend’s face. 

“This is not your fault.” Beau said firmly. “I’ve killed people. I’ve shot them, stabbed them, strangled them, I’ve beaten a dude to death with my hands. I’m kinda the expert on killing people. This? What happened to Saul? Not your fault.” Her voice was low and intense. “This is Trent’s fault. Saul’s blood is on Trent’s hands, not yours.” 

“It’s not even the worst thing I have done.” Caleb said. 

“What is the worst thing you’ve done?” Beau asked. Fjord’s hand appeared on the screen, punching Beau in the arm. “Ow, the fuck?” 

“I….” Caleb mind gave him the images unbidden: of his parents home, of them on their knees, of them tied up, begging for the lives, of Trent’s hand heavy on his shoulder, his voice in Caleb’s ear, of Caleb spreading the gasoline around the menorah, of Caleb knocking over the lit menorah and the gasoline going up in flames, his parents screaming as he left the house, stomach churning. 

“I killed my parents.” He buried his face in his hands and broke. 

 

Astrid breathed through her mouth as her bare feet landed gently on the wooden floor. She ducked behind the couch and listened. The black man’s door was closed and the lights were off, as was the big woman’s. The tiny woman was out for the night, and the fat girl was downstairs, working on something. The only light in this part of the Cafe was from the solider’s room. Astrid had been watching her and tagged her as the biggest threat. She waited, listening. Once there was no sound of people she rose and padded softly on her bare feet to the fat girl’s room. She listened at the door of each room, waiting. 

The black man was snoring, fast asleep. The big girls’ room was quiet, and there were two female voices coming from the solider’s room. The light under the door shifted as Astrid hear soft, gentle moans and the creaking of a bed. 

Disgusting filth. They would get their punishment, in the end. 

Astrid moved on silent feet, deadly and quiet, like a cat. She slid into the fat girl’s room and softly shut the door. It was a garish collection of pink and sparkly things, with a box of condoms sitting on the bedstead. Astrid quickly slid open the desk drawers and rifled through pockets and purses until she found a set of keys. She knew the one she was looking for. She pulled the clay out of her pocket and quickly pressed the key into it, making sure to get both sides. She padded softly to the window to check the impression. 

It was perfect. She beamed a feral grin and dug out a small mirror. She flashed the signal to her husband below and he flashed his back. She put the keys back into the fat girl’s purse. She slid out of the door and gently shut it before walking past the doors. 

She paused, glancing at one that was empty. She frowned; she knew she had to get back to her husband. As soon as they took Jacob back home they could start a family of their own and she would no longer be half a woman. She turned the knob on the door and slid inside. 

It was a clean room, and empty. There was a cat tree in the corner and books on the shelves and something said that this was Jacob’s room. She rifled through the cabinets and the desk, unable to find anything of note. She passed through his bathroom, and didn’t find anything. She had her hand on the doorknob to leave when she heard the fat girl’s voice come up the steps, followed by the man that had taken their order the other night, the man name Molly. 

Astrid ducked into the closet and was hit with the the smell of Jacob. He still smelled the same and her knees went weak with longing. She buried her face in his clothing and took a deep breath. 

Curse her weakness, she still loved him, even though he was a traitor. 

“He’s going to love the Getty, Jester.” Molly said as they entered the room. Astrid pressed her eyes to the crack and watched as they walked into Jacob’s room. 

“Do you think it’s alright to bring Caleb to a crowded place like that?” Jester asked, looking up at Molly in concern. Who the fuck was Caleb? 

Oh. Yes. That was his name, from Before. 

“We’ll go during the week, so it won’t be as crowded. And Vax is coming back early so we can have both of their parties at the same time.” Molly said, walking around the room. He picked up some of the cat toys that were scattered about. 

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Jester asked. She walked over to Molly, ass swinging as she walked. 

“I’m…” Molly laughed, smiling wide. “I’m head over heels.” Astrid grinned in the dark. This was good. This was good information. They could use this. If Jacob and this Molly man were close, they could use him as leverage to get Jacob back where he belonged. 

“You need to be careful.” Jester said on the bed as Molly walked around the room. “He had a really hard time in group today, apparently. He cried.” Molly made a soft noise of distress. 

“What was the story? Do you know?” Molly asked. 

“About a man named Saul.” Jester said. “That’s all I heard before realizing that group was still happening and I booked it. I know I'm not allowed to listen and I wasn't sneaking, I swear.” 

Astrid frowned. Jacob always had a tender heart and Saul’s punishment and resulting death had hit him hard. Astrid didn’t care. The moment she had found Saul, bent over in the hayloft, with Michael rutting into him like a beast she had known they were to die. She would have killed them herself, had the Ikathon granted her the honor. 

“Poor Caleb. He’s seen so much.” Molly muttered. There was real pain in his voice and he started walking to the closet. Astrid pressed back into the folds of his shirts, her knife appearing in her hand. Her mind was already working: kill Molly with a knife to the throat, leap over his body as he choked on his own blood, murder Jester, open the window, get down to Aeodwulf, and flee.

Molly reached toward the closet doors and Astrid tensed her muscles to spring. There was a crash and swearing from the solider’s room. Molly sighed, turning from the closet. 

“Did they break the bed?” He asked. “Come on, let’s go.” Together Molly and Jester left the room. 

Astrid counted the heartbeat; one hundred and thirty. When they had passed she slipped from the closet, opened the window, slit the screen with her knife, climbed out the window, shut it and shimmed down the fire escape. 

“What took you so long?” Aeodwulf snapped at her as she slid into their little room. They were squatting in a room in an empty building across the street from the cafe. They were on the fourth floor, so they had a view of the roof. 

“Forgive me, husband.” She bowed her head. “But I have information.” She was the perfect subservient wife. 

“What did you get?” Aeodwulf spread his legs and Astrid knelt between them. She passed him the imprint of the key and spoke. 

“Jacob is close to the man name Mollymauk.” She said. “The one who took our order the other night.” 

“The fag with the purple hair.” Her husband said. 

“Yes. Jacob is away. He will be back soon. They will throw a party for him.” She kept her eyes on the ground. “After the party, Jacob and Mollymauk will go to a place called the Getty. It’s a public place, apparently.” 

She felt her husband’s hand in her hair and he lifted her head. 

“Good.” He rose to his feet and undid his pants with one hand and pulled out his cock. She opened her mouth and he guided it in. 

“Good, Astrid.” He gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I am taking liberties with Astrid here.


	13. Conversations, Conversations, Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has stalking in it.

“These are the people so far that are still at the Compound.” Fields said, passing Caleb a paper with names and faces on it. Caleb looked it over and frowned. 

“Where are Astrid and Aeodwulf?” He asked. 

“We don’t know.” Winters said. Her hair was up in a bun and flying everywhere. There was a team of about fifteen people working with Caleb’s information. There were maps on the walls and pictures on desks and plans being made and Cali’s team was on the other side of the room, a map of the American Southwest wide on a wall. 

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Caleb asked, voice low. “The only people more dangerous than Trent are those two. I know them. I know them well.” 

“They left the Compound two weeks ago and they haven’t been back.” Fields passed Caleb a photograph that he hadn’t seen. Of Astrid, red hair tied in a bun with Aeodwulf, black hair and tanned skin in a dark hoodie holding a camera, climbing onto a bus. 

“Oh. Oh God.” Caleb started to shake. “I think I know where they are headed.” He dug out his phone and called Jester. He paced in circles, Molly’s pendant pressing to his lips as the phone rang. 

“Caleb! It’s so good to hear from you! How is D.C? Are the F.B.I people treating you well? Have you met the President yet?” Jester asked. 

“Jester, is everyone safe?” He asked. 

“Yes, we are all here. Molly’s here too, he spent the night with Yasha! Molly come say hi! It’s Caleb!” Jester called out. 

“Jester please, listen to me, this is very important. Two people have left the Compound. I do not know where they are or why they left, but please, you need better security. Get cameras. Good one. Put them everywhere you can and watch them.” Caleb’s voice was low and urgent and fear like he had never known clutched at his throat. 

“Caleb, calm down.” Jester said softly. “I’ll get more cameras okay?” 

“Please do. Keep tabs on everyone. Please, if I send you pictures of what they look like, will you shut down the Cafe if they come in?” He asked. 

“Caleb I can’t shutdown the-” 

“You do NOT KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE!” Caleb practically screamed, his fist slamming onto the desk. The room went quiet and Cali hurried over to him, skirts swishing. 

“You are in danger.” Caleb said. “You are all in danger. I have seen these two perform acts that you cannot begin to fathom.” He was shaking. “Please, Jester, you need to keep your people safe.” 

“Caleb, are they really that dangerous?” Beau’s voice came over the speaker. 

“Yes. Beauregard, yes.” He had never been so thankful for Beau, with her guns and her strength and her protective, possessive nature. He knew that if anyone took him seriously it would be Beau. 

“Caleb, darling, what do we have to do?” Molly said over the speaker. A wave of an unknown emotion washed over Caleb and his knees went weak. 

“Molly.” He gasped. He smiled and pressed his face as close to his phone as he could. “Molly, are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, darling, what do we need to do?” Molly’s voice was dead serious and Caleb felt his terror fade. 

“Cameras.” Caleb said. “Cameras. Change the locks. Put ones on the windows. On the second floor as well. Change the locks to the roof as well. Get a better security system. And check the windows and doors on all the floors to see if either of them have gotten in.” 

“Alright. What do we look for?” Molly asked. 

“She’s too smart to leave anything out of place. Look for footprints. When she breaks into places, she goes barefoot to muffle the noise. Look for knife marks. Look for slashes. She loves her knives.” Caleb said. He could still remember her sitting on a glacier, sharpening her knives one by one, the sound of the whetstone scraping over the metal still haunted his nightmares. 

“Alright.” Molly said. “I’ll call a locksmith.” 

“And I’ll talk to Vax. He can get the good shit.” Beau said. “Fjord, get your guns out.” 

“Already a step ahead o’ you, Beau.” Fjord’s deep rumble soothed Caleb’s raw nerves. 

“You should leave too.” Caleb said. 

“No.” Nott said firmly. “I ran the Family for years. I have a home here. I am not leaving.” She spoke. 

“This is my home, Caleb. I have no where else to go.” Yasha said gently. 

“I just can’t leave!” Jester said. “What am I going to tell my mother!” 

“They can come here all they want.” Beau said. “I don’t give a shit.” 

“Caleb, I am not leaving.” Molly said gently. “I like it there. These aren’t just my friends they’re threatening, they’re threatening my family.” 

“Molly, please.” Caleb begged. “You know I do not beg easily. I am begging you know. Please, take them and leave. You are in more danger than you know.” 

“Caleb, I can’t.” Molly said. “I will not run. I’m done running.” 

Caleb sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Molly…if anything happened to you I’d….” The thought of Molly, hurt by Astrid’s blades caused a strangled, animalistic noise to fall from his throat. “I could not bear it. Please, Mollymauk, keep yourself safe. If they are after me, which Fields thinks they are, they will come after you.” Caleb took a breath. 

“Mollymauk, you are precious to me.” Caleb confessed. “And if something happened to you, because of me, I could not bear it.” 

“You mean a lot to me, Caleb.” Molly said gently. Caleb heard Beau make revolted noises in the background. 

“I have to get back to work.” Caleb said. 

“I’ll call you later, alright my darling?” Molly asked. Something about Molly putting the ‘my’ before his usual endearment made Caleb’s heart burn with pleasure. 

“Ja. I’ll be waiting.” Caleb hung up. 

 

Astrid followed the ugly purple car a few cars behind. They had stolen a simple, plain white sedan that was now covered with the layer of dust that seemed to settle over this cursed city no matter what. How people could live in a city that never saw summer rain Astrid didn’t know. She missed the Compound. She missed the children and the sounds of the sheep and the chickens and she missed kneeling at the Ikathon’s feet, his hand in her hair as she waited for her orders. 

She followed the car as it pulled into an apartment building and she parked down the street. She watched in her mirror as the purple haired man, as Mollymauk, climbed out of his car up two flights of stairs and into an apartment. She climbed out of her car and didn’t lock it as she made her way around. Astrid found a building that would give her a view of Molly’s corner apartment and she took off her boots, tied the laces together, threw them around her neck, and scaled the building barefoot. She had been climbing the mountains of Yellowstone and the glaciers of the park barefoot since the Ikathon had Saved her. A building posed no challenge. 

Astrid settled onto the rooftop and slid into position, hiding in a way that Molly wouldn’t have been able to see her unless he really looked. Most civilians are blind as they greedy, so he would never see her. She pressed her little bluetooth earpiece as she pulled out her binoculars. 

“Husband. I am in position.” Astrid said, lifting them. She saw Molly cracking open a can of wet food as a spotted cat jumped onto the counter. 

“Good.” Her husband said into her ear. She watched Molly lift a phone to his ear and smile. 

“Hello Caleb.” Molly beamed. He scritched Frumpkin as the cat ate happily. 

“Hello Molly.” Caleb said. “Is everything alright?” 

“Darling, yes, everything is fine.” Molly dug into the fridge and found some pizza and ate it cold. He popped a beer and leaned against the fridge. 

“He’s eating cold pizza.” Astrid made a face. 

“Cold pizza is good.” Her husband said into her ear. 

“Cold pizza is gross.” Astrid whined. 

“Frumpkin misses you.” Molly said. “He’s a very good foot warmer, I might just keep him.” 

“No, he is my cat Molly.” Caleb laughed. 

“Can we work out a separation agreement? I get him every other weekend and every other Christmas?” Molly laughed. 

“I have never done a Christmas. I was not allowed at the Compound and before I was Jewish.” Caleb said. 

“I didn’t know you were Jewish.” Molly said, smiling gently. He licked cold sauce from his thumb. 

“I had forgotten.” Caleb confessed. 

“You know, there’s a pretty sizable Jewish community here. I’m sure we could find a Rabbi for you to talk too, if you’d like.” Molly said. 

“I think I would like that.” Caleb said, and Molly beamed. 

Astrid watched as Molly’s face split into a grin. 

“I can see why Jacob likes him. He is pretty.” She mused. 

“He always had a fondness for pretty men.” Wulf muttered. 

“He was close to Saul and Michael, before they died.” She mused. “Perhaps….perhaps Molly is to Jacob what Saul was to Michael.” 

“You think Jacob is a fag?” Wulf asked. 

“It would explain why Lucy’s not with child and has never been.” She said. She was privately glad that Lucy, the uppity bitch, hadn’t been granted the honor of motherhood while she herself, the perfect wife, had remained childless. 

“I’ll mention it to the Ikathon when we check in tomorrow.” Wulf said. “See if he can find any men or boys that Jacob’s tupped.” 

“So darling, what’s going on? You sound tired.” Molly grabbed his beer and moved into the bedroom, unaware of the eyes watching him. 

“I…group was exhausting yesterday.” Caleb said. “And the news today just did not help.” He laughed softly. 

“I’m sorry darling.” Molly lifted the window and pulled the screen off. He dug out a joint and lit it up. “Jester mentioned that you cried during group. She didn’t realize it was still going on when she climbed the steps.” 

“Ja.” Caleb sighed. He told Molly the story of Saul and Michael. Molly’s got high as Caleb talked and blinked in horror. 

“Fuck.” Molly sighed once Caleb was done. He heard Caleb sniffle and Molly felt his heart break. “Darling, I hate it when you cry and I’m not there to hold you.” 

“Vex said it was not my fault but…” Caleb sighed. 

“It’s not. You did your best.” Molly said soothingly. “Darling, it’s not yours, it’s the monster called Ikathon.” 

“Whatever they’re talking about it’s intense.” Astrid mumbled to her husband. “Molly’s shaking.” 

“Please, believe me. I know you think it is, but darling, my darling, dearest Caleb, it’s not your fault.” Molly said. 

“I know it in my head, but in my heart it will take some time to know.” Caleb said. 

“That’s all I ask, darling. Time.” Molly said. “Speaking of time, when you get back the Getty will have both of the Monet paintings, the women with the umbrellas.” Molly said. 

“The _Women with a Parasol_ set?” Caleb asked, eager over the phone. 

“Yeah both. They’re both gonna be displayed side-by-side. Do you want to go?” Molly asked. 

“Yes!” Caleb gasped. “Yes Molly!” Molly laughed, throwing his head back and smiling. 

“What are you thinking, wife?” Wulf asked over the phone. 

“I’m thinking about how I would like to kill Mollymauk.” She confessed. 

“How would you do it?” He asked her. 

“I’d like to strangle him.” She breathed. “I want to see that pretty face turn as purple as his hair.” She shifted, warmth blooming in her belly and wetness beading between her legs. Some of the best sex she’s ever had with her husband had been with another person’s blood on their hands. 

“You know what the Ikaton says about wanting.” 

“Yes, yes I know.” She said. “Think when he bring him back we’ll get to have fun with him?” 

“I don’t think to know the Ikathon’s mind, but if we do a good job we will get rewarded.” Wulf said. “Then you can strangle him while I fuck you.” 

“Yes.” She gasped. “Yes, husband.” 

“Molly….I told Vex about…the development in our relationship.” Caleb said. 

“Oh?” Molly asked. “About the phone sex?” 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “And she said…she that I needed to tell you about Saul, about how he died. Before we go further. That, you needed to know about the..root of the trauma and why I…why I..” He gasped and Molly cooed. 

“Hey hey hey, darling, hey, it’s alright. Speak slowly.” Molly said. “I’m not going anywhere.” He put out the joint and sat on his bed, body humming with his high. 

“She said I had to tell you, so you know I why I am…why I am reluctant to fuck you.” Caleb said. “The last man I knew that got fucked by another man ended up dead.” 

“Well I can see how that can be traumatic.” Molly said. “Caleb, I need you to be honest, would you like to continue the physical side of this?” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “Yes. I do.” 

“Thank you. We’ll go slow, then.” Molly said. “Caleb, have you touched yourself since we last talked?” 

“Shit, he moved.” Astrid said. She shifted and swore again under her breath. 

“Find a new vantage point. We need everything we can get.” Her husband said. 

“There’s a water tower. Give me a moment.” It took her all of thirty seconds to scale it and nestle back down. “I can see him. His mattress is on the floor.” 

“No.” Caleb said. “It didn’t feel right.” 

“Why not?” Molly asked. 

“It didn’t feel right without hearing you, without knowing you’re there.” Caleb confessed. Molly gasped, his cock starting to swell in his sweats. He spread his legs and ran the pads of his fingers over his cock, still encased in cotton. 

“You wanted to hear me? To hear my voice? To hear me gasp and cry out and moan your name?” Molly asked, his voice gone breathy. 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped into the phone line. “Yes, Mollymauk.” 

“Well darling, good thing that my schedule is clear and my cock is aching for you.” Molly said, and Caleb groaned. 

“He’s….he’s touching himself.” Astrid spat out. “Does he know no boundaries?” 

“Apparently not.” Wulf said. 

“Husband, do I have to watch this? It’s revolting.” Astrid watched as Molly spoke, hips grinding into his hand. His eyes were closed and his body was arching into his touch and she supposed that it could have been attractive, had he had a woman on top of him like he was supposed to. 

“No, I don’t want you exposed to his filth.” Wulf said. “But you are to peek in every few minutes to see if he’s done.” 

“Yes husband, thank you husband.” Astrid dropped the binoculars and hid behind the water tower. 

“What would like to do me, Caleb?” Molly asked. “We can start small.” 

“I would like to kiss you.” Caleb confessed. He wanted to kiss Molly very much. “I would like to know what your lips feel like against mine.” 

“You know, I was half-tempted to kiss you at the airport.” Molly gasped. He was fighting the urge to slide his hand into his sweats, but he waited. “I didn’t want you to leave and I was tempted to grab you and bring you back to my place, push you into my bed and grind my hips into yours until you were cumming moaning my name.” 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped. His cock was throbbing and he was fighting the urge to touch himself. He could wait a little bit longer for his pleasure. 

“Just like that.” Molly said. “I love it when you moan my name. Fuck, my name is perfect when it’s coming from your lips.” 

“Mollymauk.” Caleb shifted and cupped his cock gently. He gasped at the contact, hips bucking. It felt natural, to fall into this with Molly. It felt right, to have Molly moaning his name on the other end of the phone. 

“When you get here, fuck Caleb, when you back I’m going to take my time with you. I’m going to kiss every single inch of your body, I’m going to run my tongue over your chest and your stomach, I’m gonna tease your nipples with my teeth, I’m going to run my hands over your thighs.” 

Caleb whined and gave in, sliding his hand into his sweats. He took his cock in a gentle grip and slowly slid his hand up and down the shaft. He knew he should be feeling guilty about this, about touching himself and spending his seed outside of a woman, but it just felt too damn good for him to care. 

“Fuck you know that picture you sent? Of you, covered in your own cum from the first night we did this? I saved it.” Molly gasped out. “I’ve saved and I’ve jacked off thinking about it, about you, about you under me, covered in my cum, begging me to let you cum.” He kicked his sweats off and ran his thumb over the piercing before licking his hand messily and gripping his cock. 

Caleb moaned at the image his mind supplied him, of Molly on top of him, riding him, working his hips and crying out his name. 

“I…” Caleb gasped. “I want you riding me.” He confessed. “I want you on top of me, I want to see what you look like.” 

“Oh.” Molly gasped, head falling back. He planted his feet on the mattress, his hips rocking into his hand. “That’s it Caleb, talk to me, my love, tell me more, tell me all about this I want to hear this.” He knew that getting Caleb to use the word “want” without panicking and this seemed to be the way to do it. If Caleb could learn to associate the word “want” with pleasure, it would stop the panic attacks from happening. 

“I…” Caleb whined. “I have my hands on your hips, your rocking them in circles against me, your hands are on my chest, your head is thrown back and you’re-fuck Molly-you’re moaning my name.” 

“Oh God that’s hot.” Molly said. It was very vanilla but fuck if there wasn’t something about that image that made Molly’s blood burn. “DO you play with my piercings? I love it when people play with my nipple piercings when I’m on top. I have one, a set, they have a chain between them. If I wore that would you tug on it?” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I would, just to make you whine.” 

“Oh fuck.” Molly pinned the phone to his ear with his shoulder and tugged on a barbell with his free hand, a whine falling from his mouth. 

“Yes, Mollymauk, just like that.” Caleb said. “I would go slowly, too, trialing my hands over your body, just to see if I can get you to beg.” 

“Oh darling, I’m a slut so all it takes is a hand in my hair and I’m on my knees, begging to suck your cock. I bet it’s beautiful. I bet that cock of yours is as pretty as the rest of you.” Molly gasped. 

“Not as pretty as you.” Caleb gasped. “I’ve been dreaming about your mouth, you know? Ever since the backroom I’ve wanted your mouth on me.” 

“Fuck Caleb.” Molly was shaking and his hand was working his cock. “Fuck, do you want me on my knees for you? Do you want your hands in my hair as I suck your cock? Do you want me to take you into my mouth, work your length with my tongue before slipping your cock into my throat?” He was gasping, shaking with the need to have something in his mouth. “I am very good as sucking cock, I love it, I want to suck your cock Caleb.” 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped. His thighs were shaking and his cock was leaking over his hand and moans were falling from him, unbidden and uncontrolled. “Yes, Molly I want you to. I want you to suck me.” 

“God, fuck I love it when you tell me what you want.” Molly said. “I love it when you tell me what you need.” 

“I want you to suck me.” Caleb gasped. He wanted to give Molly want he liked, what he loved. “I want you to touch me. I want to, God Molly, I want to fuck you. I want you bent over for me, my hands on your hips as I fuck you.” 

“Caleb.” Molly gasped. “God, I’m close, you’re gonna make me cum, keep talking, Caleb, please.” 

Caleb’s mouth was running away from his brain and his anxiety and Caleb enjoyed it. He was shaking, the coil of pleasure in his belly growing tighter as every second passed. 

“I want to fuck you, I want you kneeling with my arms around you and my mouth at your neck as I fuck you, I want you on your back as you look up at me as I take you, I want to make you cum Mollymauk, I want to hear you cum for me.” Caleb gasped out. He was holding on to his own sense of self by a thread; he wanted to make Molly cum first. 

“Oh God, Caleb I’m gonna cum.” Molly gasped. He could feel his orgasm flying up and down his spine like fire. “I’m gonna cum for you, because of you, because of your voice and fuck Caleb -” He arched off the bed, cock throbbing as he came, not bothering to catch his cum like he normally did. He wanted to be covered in his own seed and take a photo to show to Caleb. 

Molly moaning his name and the words coming from him was just enough to push Caleb over the edge. He curled into himself, gasping as he came, pleasure ripping through his blood just as intense as the first time. He gasped for breath, falling over onto his side. 

“Caleb, darling.” Molly laughed. “God I loved that. You took control. Fuck that was hot and beautiful and I want to witness that in person.” 

“You liked it?” Caleb asked, breathless. 

“I loved it. Did you like it? Being in control for a bit?” Molly asked. 

“I….ja.” Caleb confessed. “I did.” He really did. I wanted to know what else he have could have Molly do just by telling him. 

“So you liked it?” Molly asked. “I just need to make sure.” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I liked it a lot.” 

“Wonderful.” Molly said. “Darling, I am so proud of you.” 

“What for?” Caleb sighed, closing his eyes at the sensations running along his blood. 

“You used the word ‘want’ and nothing bad happened.” Molly said. “It’s alright to want.” 

Caleb blinked and looked out the hotel window. 

“You…you’re right.” He said. He waited for the panic to come clawing at his throat and it never came. “Molly…is this what getting better is?” He asked gently. 

“Yes, my love, this is what getting better is.” Molly smiled and tears of joy came to his eyes. “Look at how far you’ve come!” He beamed. “It hasn’t even been two months and look at you! You’re talking and having phone sex and living on your own! I am so proud of you. And darling, you have the rest of your life ahead of you.” 

The impact of Molly’s words hit him like a ton of bricks. He had the rest of his life ahead of him. A life free of the cult, free of fear, free of Trent and Astrid and Aeodwulf and waking at dawn to march five miles into the wild without a compass or a map and free of hunger during the winter and sickness in summer. 

He was free. 

“I’m…” Caleb couldn’t help the tears that fell as he covered his face with his clean hand. “I’m free of them. Oh God, I’m free of them.” 

“Yes, darling, you are.” Molly said. “You’re free of them, you’re free to be your own man, to do what you wish, to love who you wish, and I am so proud of you.” He heard Caleb sob on the phone line and he knew how emotionally heavy a revelation such as this could be. “It’s alright to cry, my darling. I’m here. I’m here for you. It’s alright now.” Molly sat up and rested against the wall. 

“They’re done.” Astrid said. “Finally.” 

“About time.” Wufl grumbled. “Is he still on the phone?” 

“Yes.” She said. 

“He talks like a woman.” The disdain was clear in his voice. Astrid didn’t talk much, because she knew her husband and the Ikathon hated women talking. Molly was shirtless and she could see the tattoos on his arm and the barbells in his chest and what looked like semen on his skin. 

Filth. He would get his in the end, oh yes. Astrid will enjoy killing Mollymauk. She will strangle him, and then cut him open with her knives to see what make him tick. 

“You know, I have a question.” Molly said. 

“I have an answer.” Caleb sassed. Molly blinked and then laughed. 

“I love it when you make a joke.” Molly confessed. “It lets me know you’re healing. So, my question: remember the photograph you sent me?” 

“Ja, I do.” Caleb replied. 

“Would you like one back? I take a very pretty selfie, and I’m even prettier naked.” Molly cooed. 

“I…” Caleb swallowed hard. “Can you…can you cover yourself? Like, your- ah..” Molly laughed over the phone. 

“Caleb, not five minutes ago you were talking about you wanted your cock down my throat and now you can’t even say the word ‘penis’?” Molly teased. “But yes, darling, if it makes you comfortable, I’ll cover my penis for you.” Molly pulled his sweats up but made sure they were low enough to show off his hips. “Hold on, don’t hang up just yet.” 

Molly laid back down on the bed, arching his back as he opened up his camera. He lifted the phone and put his thumb to his mouth, drawing down his bottom lip in a very erotic manner. The sunlight coming through the window caught the cum on his chest and belly and made it glint as he took a selfie. He paused, debating adding a filter before cropping it a bit to hide the messy laundry on his floor and sending it off. He heard Caleb’s phone beep and eagerly put the phone to his ear. 

“Oh.” He heard Caleb said. “Oh that’s…” He head Caleb’s throat click as he swallowed. “You are very beautiful, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” 

“I know.” He preened. “I’m glad you like it.” The smile on his face was wide enough for his cheeks to hurt. 

“You are also very humble.” Caleb teased. 

“And you love it.” Molly said. 

“God help me, I do.” Caleb confessed. “I miss you, Molly.” 

“I miss you, Caleb.” 

Astrid’s eyes narrowed. “I think he’s talking to Jacob. I saw him say Jacob’s old name.” 

“So…he had phone sex while talking to Jacob?” Wulf asked. 

“I knew it.” She grinned a feral grin. 

“He will be made an example of.” Wulf said. “Control yourself, wife.” 

“Yes, husband.” Astrid said. 

“I need to sleep.” Caleb said. 

“I need to eat real food.” Molly said. “Rosa said she was making menudo and she invited me for dinner.” 

“Who is Rosa?” Caleb asked. 

“My neighbor. She wants to meet you. You’ll love her.” Molly said. “She taught me Spanish, you know.” 

“Ah, that’s why you speak it.” 

“I am fluent.” Molly said with pride. 

“I need to sleep Molly. I need to at the Hoover building early tomorrow. They want me to help make some kind of three dimensional map.” Caleb muttered. 

“Neat.” Molly said. “Sleep well my darling.” 

“And you as well, Mollymauk.” Caleb hung up the phone. Molly grabbed some tissues and wiped himself clean as Frumpkin jumped onto the bed. 

“You’re a good roommate you know?” Molly told the cat. “Nice and quiet. You shit in a box so I don’t have to fight you for the toilet.” He scratched the cat’s ears. “Gonna have start asking for rent if you wanna stay longer.” The cat laid down and started to make biscuits on Molly’s thigh as he purred. 

“I could get used to you.” Molly mused. The cat meowed and looked at him, tongue blepping. Molly grabbed his phone and took a picture before the cat yawned, curling up against his thigh.


	14. Photographs, Gifts and Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with a break-in, one character threatening the life of another, gun violence, and keep secrets.

Molly smiled as he worked, humming under his breath. He stepped into the back and clocked off, humming still. 

“You’re in a good mood.” Beau said as came back from locking the door. 

“I’ve had a good few days.” He said. He pulled his apron off and Beau reached out and snapped the band of the underwear he was wearing. 

“Why the fuck are you wearing lacy panties?” She asked. 

“They make me feel sexy.” Molly said. 

“You going out after this?” Beau asked. 

“No, I wear them for me.” 

“It is a major confidence booster!” Jester chirped as she flounced into the back from. “My mother always says that people need to have at two pairs of lacy panties to make themselves feel sexy!” 

“Your mother is a very wise woman.” Molly nodded sagely. 

“Isn’t she?!” Jester beamed with joy. “You know who would want to see you in lacy panties?” If Jester had had a tail, it would have been swishing with mischief. 

“Who, darling?” Molly asked, humoring her. He rifled through the left over pastries, tucking a few under his arm. They were past their sell-by date, so they couldn’t sell them but they could still eat them. 

“Caleb.” Jester beamed, rising on her tip-toes. 

“And why would you say that?” Molly asked. 

“Because he loooooves you.” She said in a sing-song voice. 

“I don’t know about love, Jester, but there’s something there.” Molly confessed. 

“FUCKING KNEW IT!” Beau crowed with delight. She stuck her head around the corner. “FJORD! YOU OWE TEN BUCKS!” 

“Really? They couldn’t have wait fer Caleb to come home!” The cowboy shouted back as Beau cheered with victory. Molly laughed as Jester huffed. 

“Really, Fjord? You should know better than to bet on people’s relationships.” She chastised him as he walked in the back, passing Beau her money. 

“Yeah, but Beau was bettin’ on ours.” He bent and kissed her cheek before heading back to the front. Jester smiled with joy and Molly raised an eyebrow at her. 

“He is…very sweet.” She admitted. 

“I’m glad you finally got him darling.” Molly said. He kissed her other cheek and she giggled. “Wish me luck with mine, yes?” He gathered his things, sighing. 

“Of course Molly.” Jester watched him walk away. 

“He just had to get hung up on Caleb.” Beau muttered. 

“Now what is that supposed to mean, Beau?” Jester asked. 

“All I’m saying is that all the shit Caleb’s been through can’t make it easy for him, for them.” Beau threw up her hands. 

“I know. But all that means is that once they get together they’ll be the stronger for it.” Jester said. 

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” Beau grumbled. Jester picked up a cupcake and ran her finger through the frosting before booping Beau on the nose. 

“Come on, silly, let’s go work.” She licked her finger clean and skipped to the front. 

Molly thought about Jester’s words as he ran his errands. He thought about them as he gossiped with his nail girl as she did the fill on his acrylics and pressed the little pearls into his pinky nails. He thought about them as he treated himself to In-N-Out. He thought about that he took Frumpkin on a walk down the block, letting the cat sniff things and roll about in the dirt to his kitty heart’s content. He thought about that as he he stood in front his mirror, looking at his reflection. 

He should send Caleb a photo. He wanted Caleb to see him in this, to see Molly in what he felt beautiful in. He wanted Caleb to know what Molly liked. He pulled up his shirt to expose the silver lacy corset he had on, and he ran his tongue over his lip in anticipation. His nails sparkled in the light and he grinned. He knew he looked good, waist cinched tight to show off his body. He did the top button of his pants and the zipper, exposing the silver lace panties he had on, and the curve of his cock. 

He opened his phone and made sure the light caught on the lingerie. They were of silver lace, with glints of silver thread running through the floral pattern, with little silver bows above the curve of his dick. The corset hugged his waist and sharpened his hips and made it very clear why Molly had picked ‘twink’ on Grindr. The silver contrasted wonderfully with his pale skin and the head of his peacock tattoo was visible, right next to his happy trail. 

Oh yes, he looked good. He took a few pictures, moving his body around in ways that he knew looked the best. He picked his favorite and sent it off to Caleb. 

Caleb’s phone beeped, and he sighed, enjoying the reprieve. The maps were proving to be more work than anticipated, and his head was aching. Thankfully Caliana was chattering away happily and sharing her sushi with Caleb, distracting him from the burden that was dragging him down. He picked up his phone and inhaled a bit of fish. He coughed and pressed his phone to his chest, eyes wide as Cali pounded on his back. 

“I am fine, ja.” He coughed. 

“Mr. Caleb, chew before you swallow!” Cali said gently. “Here, drink up!” She passed him his drink and he took a slow sip, the cough subsiding. 

“Thank you Cali.” He said gently. “I….I will be back.” He vanished from the room and moved away from Cali. 

_Molly, warn me next time you send something like that, I was in public._ He sent off. 

_Sorry, darling, I’ll warn you - do you like it tho?_

_I can’t stop looking at you, which is something you love, no doubt._ Caleb couldn’t rip his eyes from the picture and he huddled near a corner window in a spot he had claimed as his own. 

_So you do like them? Would you like some of your own? Thanks to the Cafe and my readings I have so much extra money now it’s batshit nuts_ Before Caleb could reply Molly sent off another text. 

_Let me spend some on you, what’s your room number again?_ Caleb dithered. Molly was beautiful in a way that took Caleb’s breath away. He wanted to know what Molly’s skin felt like under the silver lace, he wanted to taste Molly’s cock inside of those panties, he wanted to fuck Molly when he was wearing those and he wanted Molly to feel the same way about him. 

_Why?_

_I want to spoil you, my darling_ Caleb could hear Molly’s voice saying those. 

_Will you Skype me in those soon? I would like to see how they look when you’re moving. They look like they catch the light._

_Yes. Yes I will. Room number?_

Caleb told him, hand shaking as he did. 

_Thank you darling. You have group tomorrow so can we Skype tomorrow night?_

_Yes_ and Caleb sent off another, right on the heels of the first. _Will you wear those?_ and a third _I want you to wear those for me, when I see you._

 _Oh I love it when you take control. Do it more often_ There was a little smiley face sticking it’s tongue out next to the words. 

_Wear those tomorrow night and I will tell you what I plan to do when I see you in person._

_I am shaking with anticipation, my love_

“Mr. Widogast, will you come here?” Winters sighed, rubbing her temple. Caleb shoved his phone into his back pocket and went back to work. 

There were always street vendors outside of the Hoover building; people selling coffee and hot dogs and pizza and some kind of corn dish that was sweet and spicy and delicious. There were also people selling t-shirts and photographs and other touristy baubles. Normally Caleb ignored them on his way to the car with the Agents, but there was a new stall today and something caught his eye. 

It was a mass of jewelry and wind chimes, silver and bronze and gold and rose gold, glittering and twinkling in the sunset. Each piece had at least one symbol that Caleb knew. He slowly walked over and ran his thumb over a symbol dangling fro a black velvet choker. 

“Mr. Caleb, what is it?” Caleb asked, hurrying over to him. 

“My mother…” He laughed softly. “My mother had this symbol, on the mezuzah that was on our doorframe. In Berlin, when I was a child.” He said gently. “It is for protection.” 

It was a hand, stylized and rounded, with two pointy fingers on either side. Some were plain, some had elaborate scroll work, and still some had a blue bead with a white eye set into the center of it. 

“It is hamsa. Hand of God.” The dark skinned man with the beard said. 

“For protection, ja?” Caleb said and he nodded. “And Cali, see the bead? It is to protect form the evil eye.” 

“I didn’t know you were superstitious.” Fields said. They had been working so hard that he hadn’t taken the time to dye his hair; his white roots were long, showing his albinism to the world. 

“I am Jewish.” Caleb said gently. “It is impossible not to be.” He ran his fingers over the necklace and found that he wanted to get it. Not for him, but for Molly. He felt the urge to get something for everyone at the Cafe, and for the Cafe itself. 

“I will take this.” He gestured to the choker. He ended up getting necklaces for everyone, and a windchime for the Cafe. He overpaid the man and refused to take his change. He had a feeling that life wasn’t easy for him, and Caleb wanted to help in what way he could. 

Perhaps Molly was rubbing off on him, after all. 

When Caleb got back to the hotel the people at the front desk helped him package and send off his gifts. He paid a little extra for quick shipping, knowing that he was being irrational but wanting his friends to have the amulets anyway. He stuck in a special note for Molly, making sure to wrap the choker up carefully. He was half tempted to seal it with a kiss, but was aware of the eyes of the front desk workers on him. He tipped them for their trouble, and headed back to his room. 

 

Beau shifted in her sleep, half awake. She was a light sleeper to start with, and the walls of the dorms were so thin she heard everything. She heard Fjord’s soft snoring two rooms over, she heard Nott tapping away at her laptop, she heard Jester humming as she did something, and she heard Yasha’s shower running. It had been a bad pain day for her, her stump aching and her phantom foot throbbing. She had gone to bed early and Fjord was an early riser and an early sleeper by nature. 

She shifted, and found herself missing Caleb’s noises. She had come to miss his steady gait, his soft German mumbling, his accented voice, the sounds of kitty purrs and turning pages from his room. She missed him, though she was loathe to admit it. She would be glad when he was back. Molly’s noises were missing too. He always had music going; humming and singing under his breath, his phone playing as he worked or as he took care of himself. She missing Molly’s laughter just as she missed Caleb’s gentle voice. She turned to face the wall and let her mind drift. 

Slowly, her door creaked open. 

That was unusual. She hadn’t heard the person approach. She turned, still in the twilight space between waking and sleeping, and saw an unfamilar figure in the doorway. Her mind, a soldier’s mind, a warrior’s mind, ran through the scene before she was awake. 

The person was too feminine in figure to be Fjord, too lean to be Yasha, too thin to be Jester, too tall to be Nott. Beau couldn’t quite make out the face of the person, but a car drove past and the headlights shone through her window, flashing their yellow glow on the intruder. The person was wearing a mask, made to look like some creepy porcelain doll, standing in her doorway, holding a knife. 

The moment hung in the air, heavy with tension and pause. Eyes glinted at Beau from behind the creepy doll mask, and the person cocked their head, as if Beau was some kind of mildly interesting add on the television. 

Beau’s body reacted before she realized what was going on. She turned in her bed, grabbed the gun she kept on her bedside table, and fired. There was the sound of the gunshot, the smell of gunpowder, the shatter of breaking glass, and doors slamming open. 

The person had run the moment Beau had moved and Beau scrambled for her crutch. 

“Beau, what the fuck is going on?” Jester’s voice echoed. 

“Who is that?” Nott spoke. Beau flung herself out of bed and grabbed her crutch, not even bothering with her leg. She hurried out to the common room. 

There, standing in the light, was the stranger. The doors were open and everyone was staring at them. There was a laugh from behind the mask; a high, feminine laugh. 

Beau raised her gun and fired. The person swore, and ducked, running down the steps. Yasha quickly followed, clad in only a towel. Beau hurried, following her girlfriend. The others were hot on her heels, and she was vaguely aware of them talking, of asking her questions, but she ignored them. She turned and there was Yasha, standing in the cafe, hair dripped wet, in front of the open door. 

“Talk to me Yash.” She moved closer. 

“The door was unlocked and the security system was unarmed.” Yasha shut the door gently. 

“I’ll call the cops.” Fjord said. 

“I need to call my mother.” Jester dithered, grabbing the store phone and dialing her mother from memory. 

“Who do you think did this?” Nott asked. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Beau said. “I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it was those people Caleb warned us about.” 

“You think it’s the cult?’ Yasha asked gently. 

“Cops’r on their way.” Fjord muttered. 

“Did you tell them I have a gun?” Beau asked. 

“An’ that I’m black. Don’ wanna get shot for bein’ in the wrong place.” Fjord grumbled. He rested against his own crutch.

“My mother’s on her way.” Jester hurried back into the main room. She pulled Beau in a hug, holding her tight. “Are you all right, Beau? You saved our lives.” 

Beau wrapped Jester in an awkward hug, finger off the trigger and the safety on; gun safety was ingrained in her. 

“I’m fine.” She said. 

“You really think these are the people who Caleb warned us about?” Yasha asked. 

“Yeah. I’ve never seen him that scared. Ever. He’s never yelled like that. Even Molly was scared.” Beau said. 

There was silence. None of them wanted to admit it, but they had all been dismissive of Caleb’s fear and worry. They thought he was just being paranoid, that it was a part of his healing process, that they didn’t need to take his fear seriously. They were realizing they were wrong. 

“She snuck up on me.” Beau muttered. Pure anger filled her veins. “Nobody has been able to sneak up on me since Iraq.” Since she lost her leg, since she lost her spotter, since she lost her best friend and right hand in a surprise ambush in the Iraqi mountains. 

“We can’t tell Caleb.” Nott spoke up. “We cannot tell Caleb.” 

“Nott, we have too.” Jester said. “If these really are his people he would know what to do.” 

“No.” Beau said. “Nott’s right. This’ll only set him back and set him on edge. Molly said he’s just now getting his feet under himself. This will make him panic and make him come back here. We can handle this ourselves.” 

Fjord sighed, running a big hand over his face. He was a big man, with dark skin and curly hair and visible scars. Usually people were more scared of him then he was of them. He had ridden wild horses for a dare, and made money trying to stay on a bucking bull. He didn’t scare easy. But this? This woman with the knife who somehow managed to get inside their cafe, inside their home, without setting off any alarms, scared him half to death. He reached out, wrapping an arm around Jester, feeling her body against his. She was a soothing presence, and he bent his head to kiss her curly hair gently. 

“We cannot tell Caleb.” Nott said. 

“Can’t tell Molly either.” Fjord said. “Those two’re attached at the hip.” They all looked to Yasha. 

“He tells Caleb everything.” Yasha said gently. “I do not like lying, but I will keep this from Molly if you wish me too.” 

“Thank you.” Nott said gently. 

“I’m gonna kill that bitch.” Beau hissed as red and blue lights flooded the cafe. “I don’t like getting snuck up on.”


	15. Skype and Lingerie and Binoculars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is unwilling voyeurism in this chapter.

“Ah! Mr. Widogast!” Came a voice from the front desk. Caleb really just wanted to get into his room to go see Molly. He had missed seeing Molly’s face. He had missed seeing the way his eyes lit up and the way he smiled and his dimples when he gave Caleb that little half-smirk. He missed seeing Molly laugh, the way his whole body shook with it. 

He missed Molly. 

“Ja?” He walked over, keeping his annoyance from showing. 

“You have a package.” The girl at the desk beamed at him and slid it over. It was a plain, brown box, medium in size. 

“Danke.” Caleb smiled and ducked his head before picking it up. It was lighter than expected and Caleb quickly headed back to his room. He didn’t bother to open it up, just tossing it on the bed. He pulled his cardigan off and ran his hands through his hair a bit to tame it before smoothing his beard down, then realized what he was doing. 

What was he doing, fussing over his appearance like a love-struck teenager? It was just Molly. Molly, who had been so kind, who had opened his heart to Caleb, who had made Caleb smile and laugh for the first time since he was a teenager. 

It was Molly he was preening for. 

He opened his laptop and opened up Skype, and waited for Molly to log on. 

Molly had taken his sweet time, getting ready. He had showered, done a face mask, combed his hair, and done a bit manscaping. He wasn’t sure if Caleb was going to want Molly naked, but Molly was going to be prepared. He cinched the corset tight before wriggling into the panties. He would have just logged on like that, but he paused. Caleb was dealing with a lot of trauma concerning who he was and the fact he liked men, and Molly didn’t want to scare him off. Molly slid into a pair of tight jeans and low-cut shirt before logging on. Privately, Molly wondered if the gifts had gotten Caleb had shown up yet. 

Caleb saw the green light by Molly’s name and quickly, before he lost his courage, pushed the call button. 

“Caleb?” Molly’s voice came through first. “Caleb, darling, are you there?” 

“Ja. I am here.” The picture flickered to life and for the first time since arriving in D.C, Caleb felt at peace. Molly’s face grace the screen, larger than life, smile wide. His hair was freshly dyed into a vibrant shade of lavender and the studs in his face glinted in the light. 

“Oh darling.” Molly gasped. “You are a sight for sore eyes.” Caleb’s face was no longer gaunt with hunger and filled with shadows of his past. His cheeks were rounder and his beard was full and his hair curled around his jaw, showing off his bright blue eyes 

Caleb let his eyes roam over Molly’s face, a slow grin spreading across his own. He drank the sight of Molly in, warmth unfurling from a hidden place in his heart to sing in his veins. 

“I missed your face.” Molly said. “You’ve gained weight. I can see it in your cheeks.” He laughed. 

“It is summer fat. It will go away come winter.” Caleb muttered, blushing a bit. 

“It better not. I like you better with a bit of meat on your bones.” Molly reclined a bit, stretching his arms over his head. Caleb saw a flash of silver lace from where the shirt rode up and he couldn’t help but stare. 

“Good, because I clearly base all of my decisions around you.” Caleb snarked. 

“Mr. Caleb, you mean to tell me I’m _not_ the center of your universe?” Molly laughed. “Clearly I’m doing something wrong.” 

Caleb laughed a bit. “Maybe not the center of my universe, but you have become dear to me.” He confessed. 

“You’re dear to me as well, my darling.” Molly said. He lounged back in his chair, acrylics clicking on his desk. Caleb smiled softly, finding that he missed that sound. 

“Do you call everyone that?” Caleb asked gently. 

“I call everyone ‘darling’. I can stop if you don’t like it.” Molly said. 

“No, when you put ‘my’ in front of it, turning it into ‘my darling’. Do you call everyone ‘my darling’? Or is just me?” Caleb played with the Saint medal, running it over his lips. 

“It’s just for you.” Molly said. “I call everyone darling, but you’re my darling.” 

Caleb blushed, averting his gaze. Whatever he and Molly were growing into seemed to be both natural and frightening at the same time. It reminded Caleb of the lightening storms that would roll over the park. He could see them coming from the water towers miles away, clouds thick and heavy in the air with arcs of white flashing in them. He could feel the energy in the air, making the hairs on his arms stand up. This is what whatever he had with Molly felt like; a force of nature that Caleb was helpless against. 

“There…there is a German phrase. It..means something similar. My father - he - ah…” Caleb took a steady breath. “He used to call my mother by it, and often.” 

“Would you like to call me by it?” Molly asked gently. “I’m very fond of pet names, in all their forms.” 

“If…you would not mind.” Caleb muttered. Molly broke into a grin that was bright enough to rival the sun. 

“I would love it if you called me that, my darling.” He said. There was a soft meow and a jingle and Frumpkin was in his lap. 

“He has not been much trouble?” Caleb asked. He made a kissy noise and muttered in German and Frumpkin meowed. 

“Nah, he’s been a good little roomie.” Molly bent his head and kissed the cat. Frumpkin rose onto his back paw and planted his front on Molly’s chest, headbutting him in the jaw. 

“He likes you.” Caleb said, happy. 

“When you move on from the Cafe, I need to visit you. I can’t leave the guy.” Molly stroked along the cat’s sleek body, and Frumps’ head turned. He chittered before jumping to the window, growling. Caleb could see his back was arching and his tail was fluffed and his ears were back and he hissed. 

“Frumpkin, no.” Molly picked up the cat and left the frame and Caleb heard a door shut. Molly sat back down and sighed. “He’s been hissing a lot out the window the past few days.” 

“What does he see?” 

“I have no idea. Maybe a neighbor got a dog? I haven’t seen anything when I’ve looked out the window.” Molly stretched and Caleb’s eyes drifted down to the little patch of silver. Molly saw Caleb’s eyes flit to his shirt and he debated calling him out. 

“Possibly.” Caleb said. His voice was lower than normal and something in it made a shiver of anticipation run down Molly’s spine. Oh yes, Molly was going to tease Caleb until he snapped. 

“How far are you in Game of Thrones?” Molly ran his hand up over his belly, feeling the tip of his nails drag along the silk. 

“I finished the books.” Caleb was unable to rip his eyes from the sight of Molly peacocking in front of the camera. 

“Already?” Molly asked. “That’s impressive. Those things have to be over a thousand pages.” 

“Over one thousand each. I am a fast reader.” Caleb muttered. Molly’s shirt shifted and a the head of the tattoo was exposed. Caleb bit his lip, shifting in his seat. 

Caleb was flushed, biting his lip, eyes gone dark as he watched Molly. Molly arched his back and dragged his nails on his hips, pulling up sharp red marks him his nails. He saw Caleb’s tongue flicker out to wet his bottom lip and he grinned. 

“I could never get the hang of reading. I prefer listening to people.” Molly muttered. “Listening to the voices and their breathing. You can learn a lot from someone, by listening to how they breathe.” 

“Oh?” Caleb asked, eyes flicking up to Molly’s face. 

“Yeah. You can learn what they don’t like and what they like. You can learn their different laughs. You can learn what turns them on.” The teasing was turning him on as well, he was half-hard in his jeans, the feeling of the lace rubbing against his cock was driving him half-mad with need. He shifted his hips and inhaled sharply at the feeling of the panties dragging over his skin. 

“Are you alright Mollymauk?” Caleb asked gently. “You are looking a little flushed. Are you ill?” His voice was layered with fake concern and arousal, eyes dark as he watched Molly grind his hips and gasp softly. 

“Oh, I’m just fine and dandy.” Molly laughed, a bit breathless. He gasped as something tugged on the head of his cock. His head fell forward and he gripped the edge of his desk chair, closing his eyes and rocking his hips, chasing the pleasure. 

“Mollymauk, what are you doing?” Caleb asked. 

“Oh I thought it was obvious.” Molly grinned at Caleb from below his curls. “I said I like listening to people talk and Caleb, your voice is addicting.” He pushed his shoulders back, whining as the motion put pressure on his cock. “See something you like, my darling?” 

“Take your shirt off.” Caleb nearly snarled. 

“I love it when you get all dominant.” Molly grinned and peeled his shirt off, exposing the corset. He heard Caleb’s gasp and watched him shift in his seat. 

Caleb’s cock was throbbing in his slacks and he rolled his hips, trying to find a place that didn’t put pressure on it. Molly was beautiful in the silk and lace and Caleb’s itched with the sudden need to run his hands along the fabric. 

“You look like -ah- what is the word in English? It is a gemstone made by oysters?” Caleb wasn’t able to think straight at the sight before him. 

“A pearl?” Molly asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb said, drinking in the sight. “A pearl. Delicate and precious.” 

“I’m fond of pearl necklaces, both kinds to think of it.” Molly teased. 

“Both kinds?” Caleb asked. 

“You know, the gemstone kind and then the kind where you cum on my face and chest and neck.” Molly said. 

Caleb whined at the mental image, palming his cock. 

“You want me to do that? To mark you like that?” Caleb asked. 

“Yes.” Molly gasped. He saw Caleb’s shoulder and arm working and he whined. “Caleb, are you touching yourself? Can I see your cock? Please, I want to see you, let me see you, get naked for me Caleb, please?” Molly’s hips were still working in little circles and aborted figure-eights and he was getting desperate for more. 

“Why should I?” Caleb teased. “You have been a brat.” 

“That’s who I am, Caleb. I’m a brat.” Molly whined. “Please, let me see that pretty cock of yours and I’ll behave.” 

“I will hold you too it.” Caleb knew that Molly wouldn’t behave; misbehaving was who Molly was, and Caleb adored it. He stood and pulled off his shirt before stripping out of his slacks. Molly gasped as he pulled down his briefs and rolled his chair back. 

“Oh my God.” Molly gasped, bratty act forgotten. “Caleb, you’ve been keeping secrets.” 

“What?” Caleb asked, confused. 

“Holy shit, you didn’t tell me you were hung.” Molly gasped. “Fuck, you’re smart, pretty, sexy, funny and you have a big dick. Fuck, I don’t know how I got you into my bed but I am thanking my lucky stars. Fuck, I’m going to want that inside of me, in my mouth, fuck Caleb.” Molly was unable to tear his eyes away from Caleb’s dick. He was long and thick, and Molly’s mouth was watering. 

“I never really noticed.” Caleb muttered. “It is not like I measured or had to much to compare too.” 

“Trust me. I have seen a good amount of dick in my two years of memory, and you are on the bigger side.” He had to be at least a good eight inches in length. 

“And…is this alright?” He was suddenly self-conscious about the size of his dick, which is something he never had to consider before. 

“Oh my darling, yes.” Molly gasped. “Yes it is very much alright.” He whined. He could imagine the feel of Caleb’s cock in his mouth, in his throat, Caleb’s hands in his hair and his hips started rocking again. “I want you to fuck my face, Caleb.” 

“Take off your pants, Mollymauk. I want to see you.” Caleb ordered, eyes going dark. Molly slowly stood and shimmied out of his skinny jeans, gasping at the feeling of the lace being tugged across his dick. The head of his cock was peeking out from the panties and he kicked his jeans off before running a nail over it. He whined at the sensation, hips bucking against his hand. 

Molly had been so absorbed in Caleb’s cock that he hadn’t really taken in the rest of him. He was long and lean, no longer stick thin but still on the skinny side, with dark red hair dusting his chest and down his stomach to his cock. There were freckles on his neck and chest and belly and hips and thighs and arms. He had a spattering of scars along his ribs, some curling around from the back. There was a knife scar on his left hip what Molly thought was a bullet scar on his right thigh. It was clear that Caleb hadn’t led an easy life. 

“God you’re beautiful.” Molly gasped. He sat down, back straight. “Fuck I could look at you all day.” He meant it. “I want to kiss every part of you I can find. Every freckle I can find and every scar I see.” His heart ached and he wanted to run his mouth over Caleb’s skin, to feel and taste him. 

“I am nothing compared to you.” Molly seemed to glow in the silvery white silk. His purple hair and the silver and gold studs in his body complimented the sheen of the fabric as he moved. His body was trim and lean and the tattoos decorated his frame and Caleb itched to taste them, to run his hands over Molly’s body, to know what Molly felt like underneath him. “Meine Perle.” He dropped the endearment without thinking. 

Molly shuddered and whined at the praise. 

“Caleb.” He hand fell to his cock and he rocked his hips into it. “Caleb, please.” 

“Please what, Perle?” Caleb asked. His accent was thick and the tone of command was unquestionable in it. 

“I want to touch myself for you. Let me touch myself, let me show off?” Molly whined. 

“And here I thought you already were.” Caleb mused. He laughed and Molly shuddered. 

“Please.” Molly begged. “Please, sir.” 

The moment the word ‘sir’ dropped from Molly’s mouth Caleb recoiled. His mind flooded him with images of him on knees hands up in supplication, begging for food, begging for permission to save lives, saying ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’ and ‘of course sir’ without question. 

“Red.” Caleb said. “Stop, stop, Molly stop.” He was shaking and covering his face. 

“Caleb, darling, what is it? Talk to me Caleb.” Gone was his sex voice. Now it was just Molly. 

“I…do not call me that.” Caleb said. “Do not call me that ever again.” 

“Alright, alright I won’t.” Molly said. “Never again, I promise.” It was one of Molly’s favorite things to call his partner, but if Caleb had this violent of a reaction to it, he would never call Caleb it again. “I promise, Caleb, my darling, are you alright?” 

“Ja…” Caleb took a steady breath and lifted his head. “I….I hate that word.” 

“Understood. I won’t use it again.” Molly said. “Are you alright, though?” 

“I am…a bit shaken.” Caleb laughed and grimaced a bit. “I did not realize that was a trigger.” 

“It’s alright. We all have different triggers. Mine are clowns.” Molly said. 

“Clowns?” Caleb asked, confused. 

“Clowns are at carnivals.” Molly said simply. Caleb made a noise of understanding and gave a slow nod. “Caleb, thank you for redding out.” Molly said. “Thank you for stopping me instead of just gritting your teeth and bearing it.” 

“Thank you for stopping.” Caleb shot him a shy smile. It struck him how silly it was, they were both sitting here, naked or nearly naked, both still erect, thanking each other for respecting boundaries. 

“I would like to call you something when we play, so I’ll think about it.” Molly said. 

“Thank you Molly.” Caleb said. 

“And for the record, I liked it when you called me ‘pearl’.” Molly beamed. “It made me feel special.” 

Molly smiled that thousand-watt smile of his and Caleb felt his heart flip in his chest. 

“Would you….like to continue?” Caleb asked. 

“I would. What about you? You’re the one that safeworded, so it’s on your shoulders.” Molly said. “I won’t be angry or disappointed if you don’t, for the record.” 

Caleb paused and ran the medal Molly had given him over his lips. He wanted to continue, he wanted to see what Molly looked like, to see if he was as beautiful as he sounded when he came. He wanted to watch Molly take his pleasure. As long as they were on equal footing, Caleb thought they could continue. 

“Perhaps, without the….I do not know the term…the ah..me telling you what to do?” He asked. 

“Power play.” Molly supplied. “The term is power play. And of course we can do that.” He had gone half-soft during the discussion but his cock was perking up again at the promise of an orgasm. 

“Power play, ja.” Caleb filed it away for later. He needed to do more research on whatever he and Molly were growing. 

“So…back to the sex?” Molly asked with a cheeky grin. Caleb leaned back in his chair, eyes roaming Molly’s form. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “Back to the sex.” 

“Oh good.” Molly ran his hand over his chest, dragging his nails along his skin. “Because darling, I’ve wanted to know what you look like in the throws of pleasure for ages now.” He trailed a nail over a barbell and gasped. 

“So have I.” Caleb admitted. “Since you took Frumpkin and I to the vet.” 

“Is that why were you so red?” Molly asked. 

“I was wondering what your cock tastes like.” Caleb’s hand finally fell to his cock and gave himself a languid stroke up and down. Molly gasped, mimicking Caleb. He pulled the panties down under his balls and Caleb inhaled sharply. 

“Molly..is that a piercing in your dick?” He gasped, unable to rip his eyes from it. 

“Yes, it is.” Molly gasped. He ran his fingers over it and his hips jerked up into his hand. “Makes it feel so much better.” He whined, rocking his hips into his hand. 

“I want my mouth on that.” Caleb blurted out, unable to take his eyes off the stud. It was a silver one, nestled right under the head of Molly’s cock. 

“Oh God, Caleb.” Molly groaned. The corset was restricting his breathing a bit and he was getting a little dizzy in the best kind of way. “I want my mouth on your cock.” His mouth was starting to run despite himself. 

“Go on, Mollymauk. Keep talking, Perle.” Caleb gasped, running his thumb over the head of his weeping cock. 

“God, I want that cock of yours in mouth. I want to taste it, I want to feel it, fuck I want your hands in my hair as it slides into my throat, I want to choke on your cock, Caleb.” Molly whined, bringing up two fingers to suck. He laved them with his tongue as he fucked his fist, whining. He needed something in his mouth, something suck at and run his tongue over. 

“Look at you.” Caleb crooned. “Mollymauk, look at you. So desperate for me, for my cock.” Caleb wasn’t sure quite was he was doing, but he knew he wanted to try talking dirty, for Molly’s sake. 

Molly whined, his head going delightfully fuzzy as his fingers slipped from his mouth. “Yes, Caleb.” He tugged at a nipple with his fingers and cried out at the bolt of pleasure-pain that went down his spine. 

“You want to be on your knees for me, don’t you?” Caleb asked. He cock throbbed at the image of Molly, on his knees with his mouth open. “You want me to slide my cock between those beautiful lips of yours and take my pleasure from you, don’t you?” 

“Yes.” Molly brought his fingers back to his mouth and whined with displeasure. “Not enough.” He mumbled. “Not enough.” He turned his chair and rifled through a drawer until he found a toy. It was clean dildo, thick and veiny, with a suction cup on the base. It was about as large as Caleb’s cock was and Molly sat back into his chair. He ran his tongue up the toy before pulling the head into his mouth. It was cold silicone, not flesh, and it tasted of plastic, not of Caleb, but it satisfied the itch to have something in his mouth. 

It would do until Caleb got back. 

“Oh fuck.” Caleb’s eyes went wide as he watched Molly suck the toy. He could hear Molly moaning in pleasure and he watched Molly’s pretty lips stretch around the toy. He watched as Molly bobbed his head in time with his fist, going further and further down every time. There was saliva running down Molly’s chin and tears were pricking his eyes and it was the most erotic thing that Caleb’s ever seen. 

“Oh, you are beautiful.” Caleb gasped. His hand sped up of it’s own accord and he was moaning with it. His hips were rocking into his fist as he imagined how Molly’s mouth with feel like on his cock. 

Molly pulled the toy out of his mouth, gasping for breath. He moaned, his whole body shaking. 

“Fuck, Caleb, I want you fuck my throat you get home.” His voice was rougher than normal and Caleb shuddered. His legs were starting to shake and he was learning that was a sign his body was close to climax. 

“I’m close Molly.” He gasped out. “I want to see you sucking that like it’s my cock when I cum.” The pressure was building in his belly and fire was racing along his blood. 

“Of course, my love, anything for you.” Molly meant it. He would walk on water for Caleb, or drown trying. He slid the toy back into his mouth, whining. He laved the veins with his tongue before tilting his head back. He cracked his eyes open, determined to watch Caleb as he did this. He pushed the toy into his mouth until he felt it press against his soft palate, and then swallowed. He saw Caleb’s eyes widen and then Caleb came, arching off the chair, cum coating his hand. 

Molly pulled the toy from his throat and moaned Caleb’s name as he came. His head fell back as Caleb’s name tumbled from his lips like a prayer. 

Caleb watched, entranced. Molly was more beautiful than Caleb could have ever imagined. He watched as Molly writhed with his pleasure, gasping out Caleb’s name. He watched as Molly let the toy drop to the floor with a dull thunk before collapsing back onto the chair. 

“You…” Caleb gasped out. “You are truly incredible man, leibling.” Caleb said gently. 

“Right back at you darling.” Molly shot him a small smile. “I…wow.” Molly looked like the image of debauchery. His skin was flushed, his makeup was running down his face, his lips were red and swollen and he looked thoroughly used. 

“You liked it, then?” Caleb asked. 

“Oh darling, I always like it, but this….” Molly made a little noise. “This was something else.” He stretched before wiping his hand with a tissue. He reached behind him and undid the corset. He pulled it and swore at the cum on it. “This is dry clean only. I’m going to have to tip generously next time I go.” He stood and peeled the panties off and Caleb saw the red marks on his skin. 

“Molly, are you hurt?” He asked. 

“Oh these?” Molly ran his hand along the marks on his ribs. They were indentations from boning in the corset, his skin red and angry under his hand. “Beauty is pain, my darling dearest.” Molly said. “Hey, did you get a package today?” 

“Ja.” Caleb said, suddenly on edge. How did Molly know about the package? 

“Good. I want you to open it. There’s something in there for you.” Molly lounged in his desk chair, naked as the day he was born. There was a lazy confidence in his motions and in his body that Caleb could never hope to emulate. 

“One moment, ja?” Caleb got up and walked to the bathroom to wash his hands and Molly too the chance to wolf whistle at him. Caleb blushed and hunched over as Molly apologized. 

“Oh no, I’m sorry darling, I didn’t meant to embarrass you!” He said. “Caleb, come back!” 

“No, you lost your chance!” Caleb called from the bathroom as he wiped his seed from his hand and chest. “This is all you are getting from now on!” 

“Just that sexy, sexy voice? I’d rather have all of you but I can live with that.” Molly said. Caleb stopped to grab his sweats and slide them on before grabbing the box. Molly hadn’t seen his back yet, and Caleb wasn’t going to show him the mass of scars on it just yet. 

“This box?” He pulled the box into his lap before cracking the cardboard and ripping it open. 

“Shit, I was expecting scissors or something, but you went all caveman on it.” Molly laughed. Caleb pulled the tissue paper aside and there, inside the box, was a mass of purple lace. 

“Molly, I cannot accept this.” He said right away. 

“I knew you’d say that.” Said the beautiful, naked man on his laptop screen. “Caleb, my darling, I want you to have them. Go on, pull them out.” 

Caleb reached back into the tissue and pulled out a mess of lace. It took the time to gently untangle it. It was a lacy set of royal purple lingerie, with little golden accents. The panties were cut in a very tom-boyish way and Caleb had a feeling they’d hug his ass with ever move. The top wasn’t a corset like Molly’s, it was two triangular scraps of purple lace, bound with a purple string, with a little golden bow in between the cups. 

“Molly….it is beautiful.” He said. He ran his fingers over the satin and smiled softly.

“I’m glad you like it.” Molly said softly. “You don’t have to wear it right now, or ever. I just…I just wanted to get you something nice. Something for you to remember me by when you move on.” His voice was bitter and he rubbed at his mouth to try to keep his poison inside. 

“Molly, liebling, I have no intention of moving on.” Caleb said gently. “Not for a while.” He confessed. “Even if I…whatever we are, whatever we have breaks, I doubt I would find someone else. Who else can bear to deal with me?” Who else could deal with egg-shell fragile bits of Caleb’s soul? Who could deal with the scars and the nightmares and the old fears and his inability to ask for what he wants? Who would understand that Caleb was really, truly, broken?

“Caleb, being in a relationship isn’t about ‘dealing’ with them.” Molly said. 

“How many have you had?” Caleb asked. “I am not being an asshole, I want to know.” 

“None.” Molly confessed. “I’ve…I’ve slept around. I’ve had bedmates. I’ve had flings that lasted a few days to a few weeks. I’ve fucked my way through half of Grindr and half of Tinder, but I’ve never had a real relationship. I just…” He sighed, putting his head in his hands. “What the fuck am I going to say? ‘Hi I’m Mollymauk Tealeaf, I’m an amnesiac bisexual psychic whose best friend is a transgender lesbian refugee from war torn Europe, oh and I’m covered in scars from an accident I don’t remember’?” He huffed. 

“That is quite the hook, maybe try that the next time you go speed-dating.” Caleb deadpanned. 

“You need to stop talking to Beau, she’s rubbing off on you.” Molly laughed. “Really, Caleb, how am I going to explain myself to people?” 

“Molly, look at you. You have a peacock tail tattoo on your face, bright purple hair, and enough metal in your skin to make me concerned as to what happens when you pass by a magnet.” Caleb said. “You are…a collection of outrageous phrases wrapped in a colorful shell and if people do not take you at face value, they do not deserve to know the goodness of your heart.” 

“The same goes for you, Caleb.” Molly said. “If the man you decide to date after..after this,” he gestured between them, “falls to bits can’t see past your trauma, he doesn’t deserve to know the man you really are.” Molly said gently. He glanced at the clock and swore. “I open tomorrow.” 

“Go sleep Molly.” Caleb said gently. 

“Thank you for the lovely orgasm.” Molly laughed. 

“Thank you for letting me watch. And for your kind words.” Caleb said. 

“Sleep well, my darling.” And Molly disconnected. 

“They’re done.” Astrid sighed. “They talked for hours. What were they talking about?” She picked up her bag and the cat on sill hissed at her. She looked at the cat and hissed back. 

“No idea, are you sure it was Jacob?” Wulf said in her headset. 

“Positive. I saw his face.” 

“Well, now we know. Good job, wife.” 

“Thank you husband.” 

“Come home. I’m hungry.”

“Yes, husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can tell this is a fanfic bc skype didn't cut out when they got to the good bits lol  
> #teamdiscord


	16. Clubbing, Blowjobs and Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with breaking and entering and stalking. Read at your own discretion.

Molly took care of wiping down his station as the last of the rush filed out the door. He took care of the empty milk gallons and the iced tea pitchers and wiped down the splatter of espresso from the machines. He watched his hands work at he pondered Caleb’s words from the other night. 

He was due home in just over a week, and Molly was literally counting down the days. Caleb seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop, where Molly was concerned. He seemed to think that Molly would just up and leave, that as soon as Molly had gotten his fill of Caleb he would drop Caleb like a sack of potatoes and never look back. 

He knew it was Caleb’s trauma speaking and that he shouldn’t be offended or hurt, and he knew that it would take time for Caleb to understand. 

Time, and actions. 

Molly was a very impatient man by nature, his impulse control was jack shit and he knew it. He looked down at his nails and a slow grin spread over his face. He knew what to do. 

Four hours later saw Molly at his normal table with his normal nail lady, Bri. 

“So, what are we doing today, Molly?” She asked, pulling out her collection of fake jewels. 

“Oh nothing of the sort. I need my right hand re-done.” He held it out for her to look over. His nails were long and pointed, unchipped, with the fake gems intact. 

“I don’t see anything wrong with them.” She raised a dark eyebrow and tossed some of her box braids over her shoulder. Her skin was darker than Fjord’s, deeply tanned by her love of the California beaches. Her nails were a bright pink with little flamingos on them. 

“I got me a man.” Molly bragged. Bri cocked her head in confusion. Molly made a ‘come hither’ gesture with his three fingers and a raised eyebrow and Bri cackled with delight. “So I need bright, short nails on these three. The rest you can do as you wish.” 

 

Molly climbed into his car and looked at his right hand with pleasure. He took his phone and snapped a photo of his hand before sending it off to Caleb. 

Caleb opened his phone to a very confusion picture. It was Molly’s hand, with pinky and thumb nails long and pointed, short nails on the rest, with the caption “Can’t wait for you to get home.” 

_Molly, I don’t understand._

_Caleb, you can’t stick pointy nails up someone’s ass, and I’m preparing in-case you want to get fingered, or I want be fingered._

Caleb jerked and his elbow knocked over the plate of chips. 

“Sorry!” He said. “I am so sorry.”

“Are you alright?” Fields asked over his sunglasses. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. 

“You sure? You’re bright red.” Fields said. 

“I..am fine.” Caleb tucked his phone away. 

“Is it that guy?” Fields asked. Winter and Cali were occupied feeding the pigeons to pay attention to the men at the end of the bench. “The one who ran to you in the airport?” 

“I…” Caleb sighed. “Ja. He is…excited for me to go home.” 

“You’ve been gone nearly a month.” Fields noted. “You think he’s been faithful to you?” 

“He is not my boyfriend. He is free to find companionship as he wishes.” Caleb said. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought about my girl.” Fields said. “I did two tours in Afghanistan, early two thousands, around the time you were taken. I had a girl back home. We weren’t anything serious, but it still hurt when I came back and found out she had other guys on the side. Not many girls are interested in me.” He laughed. 

“Because of…” Caleb gestured to his face with an inquisitive noise. Fields had given up on the hair dye, his natural white hair coming in short and cropped. 

“Yeah. Girl in highschool said she’s rather fuck a ghost.” He laughed bitterly.

“Why would she say such a horrible thing?” Caleb asked. 

“I was different.” He took off his sunglasses and rubbed at his eyes. He was so pale that Caleb could see the veins running under his skin. 

“Children can be cruel. I…I remember, I was the only immigrant in the small town that we had moved too. I spoke English well, but I had the same accent I have now. Very German. I was not exactly welcome but not exactly…excluded either.” Caleb said. 

“I know what that’s like.” Fields said with a soft chuckle. His eyes were so pale it seemed to Caleb that someone had taken a knife or a sharp stick and poked a hole in them and all the color had drained away. 

“Why did you become an Agent?” Caleb asked. He had spent most of his time with Winters, Fields working in the shadows, on the edges of their little talks. 

“I was shot.” He said. “In Afghanistan, in a tiny village that’s not even on the maps and has no name. Right in the shoulder. Took me out the military and I got recruited for the F.B.I.” 

“Why did they want you?” Caleb asked. 

“I know how people think.” Fields dug out a pack of cigarettes and offered one to Caleb, who declined. Fields lit up and the smell of the tobacco reminded Caleb of Molly. “I didn’t have many friends growing up, so I watched people a lot. I know how they think. In the Marines I was taught how to make them talk.” 

“You were a torturer.” Caleb said gently. 

“Information gatherer, technically.” Fields shot him a grin. “Torturer is so Vietnam.” 

“We have similar skills, then.” Caleb said. Fields raised a pale eyebrow. “I…know how to make people talk, as well.” He said simply. 

“I’m sorry.” Fields said, making Caleb blink in surprise. 

“For?” He asked. 

“The things you’ve seen. The things you’ve done. I know what I’ve seen and done is enough to keep me up at night, and I was trained to keep the demons at bay. You weren’t.” Fields said. “I’m sorry.” 

Caleb didn’t know what to say. He span his ring about and opened his mouth to admit he didn’t know what to say when the women spoke. 

“Back to work you two.” Winters grinned. 

“Ja.” Caleb sighed, rubbing at his face. 

“No rest for the weary.” Fields sighed. 

“Put your hat back on, don’t get sunburned now Agent Fields!” Cali chirped, handing Fields his broad-brimmed hat. The man blushed a vibrant shade of pink and put the hat on. 

“Thank you, Caliana.” He mumbled and Cali reached out and took Winters’ hand as they all walked back into the building. Caleb glanced up to Fields, who blushed even more and ducked his head. 

“I really hate being pale sometimes.” He bitched. 

 

“Okay, Beau, can you see me?” Nott asked, waving her hand in front of the camera. 

“Loud and clear.” She hung up. Vex passed her a cup of tea and Beau rubbed at her temples. 

“How’r they working?” Vax asked, stepping up behind Beau. 

“Good. Are the locks in place?” She asked. 

“And working just fine. Nott’s very skilled.” Vax muttered. 

“She was a thief before she got here.” Beau muttered. She turned and punched Vax in the arm. 

“Ow! What the fuck Beauregard!” He asked. 

“That was for going dark on me, asshole.” She glared at him. 

“You know I had no choice.” He sighed. “I had to dark for Vex and my lovers too.” 

“Yeah but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She wasn’t whining, not really. She and Vax went way back. He wasn’t the one that had pulled her damn near lifeless form from the firefight, but his was the first face she saw when she woke up woozy and down a limb. 

To Beau, he was family. 

“Are they really planning on going through with the welcome back party? Seems a tag unwise.” He sipped his tea. 

“Molly’s insistent. He hasn’t been this alive since Caleb left.” Beau muttered. 

“How are they, Beau?” Vex asked. Trinket huffed and drooled onto Beau’s foot. 

“What do you mean?” She asked. 

“Well, do they talk much? Caleb’s reluctant to share about Molly in group or in solo sessions.” She watched little Yasha and Jester fix the new glass in the frame as Fjord patched the bullet hole in the wall. 

“They talk all the time. Honestly, I’m not the best person to talk to about this, Vex. Nott’s closer to Caleb and Yash’s closer to Molly.” Beau explained. 

“I did not ask them, I asked you.” She arched an immaculate eyebrow. 

“Honestly? They’re in love.” Beau said simply. “Molly knows he’s in love, but Caleb either…he’s either to traumatized to know or he just hasn’t realized it yet.” 

The twins shared a Look. 

“Now, who does that remind me of?” Vax asked. Vex picked up a grape and threw it at her brother who caught it in his mouth with alarmingly accuracy. Beau picked up a grape and threw it at Vax, hitting him in the eyeball. 

“What the fuck, Vax?” Beau grumped. 

“Have you been getting any sleep?” He asked gently. Beau shook her head. 

“Nope.” She said. Her dark skin was pale and ashen, her face drawn, with dark circles under her almond eyes. She was now carrying her handgun on her hip, and her rifle was ready in her bedroom in case she needed it. 

“You need sleep.” Vex said. 

“I’ll sleep when the security measures are in place.” She argued. 

“Beau, you can’t go without sleep.” Vax said. 

“I did it before, I can do it again.” She snapped back. Vax pulled himself to his full height, looking down at Beau. 

“Beau, go the fuck to sleep.” Vax said. His tone was that of a commanding officer and Beau had to struggle against her training. 

“No. The fuck you gonna do to me? Ground me?” She rolled her eyes. Vax locked eyes with a figure above Beau’s head and Yasha swooped Beau into her arms. 

“Come on, you need sleep.” Yasha said gently. Beau gave a very weak struggle, mostly for show, before settling into Yasha’s arms as her girlfriend carried her into what was now their bedroom. 

“Beau, you need rest.” She placed Beau on the bed and knelt on the floor. She went through the motions of taking off Beau’s leg and sock before pressing a kiss to the soft skin of her inner knee. Beau undid her belt and put the handgun on the side table. 

She was running on fumes, but she couldn’t rest. She couldn’t rest while the Cafe was unsecured. Her mind wouldn’t let her. How did that woman in the mask sneak up on her? How did she get in? How did she sneak up on Beauregard? How did she move so quietly? Beau was going to find her and find out how she moved like a cat. 

“Can’t.” She mumbled. Yasha reached up and undid the ponytail and Beau’s dark hair came tumbling down. “Not safe.” 

“Hush. I’m here. Fjord is here. Vax is here.” She said. “Nobody’s going to sneak up on you.” 

“They did before. She did before.” Yasha gently pushed Beau back into the sheets. “How did she do it?” Beau mumbled. 

“Hush.” Yasha kissed Beau’s forehead as she pulled their covers over her. She moved to head back to the common room when Beau’s hand grabbed hers. 

“Stay?” Beau asked. “I sleep better with you.” 

Yasha smiled gently and toed off her shoes and shirt and bra before climbing into bed. 

“Of course.” She kissed the corner of Beau’s mouth gently before wrapping her arms around Beau’s lithe form. 

“She’s not been doing well has she?” Vax asked his sister. 

“No. This…Mystery woman really set her back.” Vex muttered. 

“At least she’s found someone who loves her.” Vax hopped onto the counter and sat on it. Vex sighed throwing another grape and her brother laughed, catching it in his mouth. “Really Vex, you must stop moping after him.” 

“It’s unethical.” Vex replied. 

“He’s not your patient anymore.” Vax said. “And really, miss ‘oh yes I’ll cheat on my uni entrance exams’ you don’t have an ethical leg to stand on.” The twins stared at each other before Vex sighed, defeated. 

“I’m just…” 

“Frightened.” Vax supplied. He held out his arms for her and Vex stepped into them, tucking her head under his chin. She pressed her hands to where she knew his tattoo was; dark curling wings with pitch black feathers, with her name and their mother’s name inside of them. 

“I’m not frightened.” Vex whined. 

“Of course not, you are the fearsome Vex’halia, tamer of demons and slayer of cakes.” Vax snarked. “You’re just feeling something real for the first time and it’s alright to be scared. I was scared when I first started with Kiki and Shaun. I still am.” He admitted. 

“Why? They adore each other.” Vax said. 

“I know, but you know me.” Vax shot his sister a shy smile and she tapped his forehead with a finger. 

“I know you. You don’t have to worry. They adore you.” She said. 

“And Freddie adores you.” Vax said. “I love you very much.” He kissed her cheek and held her close. 

“I love you too, brother dear.” 

 

Caleb’s phone beeped again and he saw a new message from Molly. He glanced around before gently opening it, ready to hide his phone if it was a naked picture. He was never sure, with Molly. 

_Vax came home early!!!!!!!! We’re all going tonight to celebrate and go out tonight so I won’t be able to chat but expect LOTS of pictures!_ There was a little kissy emoji next to Molly’s message and Caleb smiled gently. 

_Have fun and be safe, Mollymauk_ He sent back. 

_Apparently Vex and Vax know THE Scalan Shorthalt, so it’s gonna be a crazy night lol have fun and don’t read too hard_ Caleb could hear Molly’s laughter in his mind and was quickly dragged back to work. 

 

It was eighties night at the club they had gone to, and sure enough Vex and Vax knew Scalan Shorthalt. They knew him very well, apparently. Scalan had gotten them the VIP room in the club, reserved just for him and his friends. It was a large room, strewn with comfortable chairs and couches and low tables for them to enjoy. There was a private bar, complete with bartender, a table strewn with food, and a railing that overlooked the dance floor. 

Molly had gone full Prince. He had on a gauzy purple shirt that was far to big for him, with a deep v-neck that exposed most of his chest. The cloth was so sheer that his tattoos and piercings were clearly visible . The leggings were tight purple pleather, hugging his ass in a very clear manner, and his boots went up his thighs. He had a full face of makeup on, complete with red lips. 

“Come on Molly!” Jester beamed at him. He threw his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek as she took the selfie of them. 

“Can you send that to Caleb?” He asked. Down below Shaun, Vax, Keyleth and Vex were dancing, moving with the synth as it pounded down below. Beau and Yasha were sitting on a chair, in deep conversation with a very large man with tattooed face who introduced himself as Grog. Sanlan had a girl on one arm, a joint in the other, laughing and talking with a white haired man with glasses. Privately Molly thought that Percy and Caleb would get along wonderfully. They were both on reserved side, highly intelligent, European, and they were both beautiful. Nott had chosen to stay at home, saying that she was too old to go out partying with a bunch of children. Fjord was in a simple pair of dark jeans and a band shirt, reluctant to dress up. Molly was a bit miffed, but judging by how Jester was staring at his ass she didn’t mind. 

Molly glanced up as the four dancers tumbled into the VIP room, laughing. Vax pulled Shaun into a kiss and Vex tossed her hair over her shoulder at shot Percy a wink. Molly saw Percy’s gaze travel over her form and linger over her mini-skirt clad ass as she walked to the bartender. She was in a tight, tiny plaid skirt and a white dress shirt that was tied over her breasts to expose most of her skin and Molly saw that Percy had been sneaking glances all night. 

“So, darling” Vex approached the bartender, “what is the most outrageous drink you have?” 

The bartender grinned at Vex. 

“The Blowjob.” He said. 

“What’s a Blowjob?” Beau asked. 

“Who’s giving out blowjobs?” Scanlan asked. 

“Not me, for once.” Molly laughed, shooting a wink at Vax. The bartender described the drink and then described how to drink it. It needed two people, sitting face-to-face, with the shot held right above their groin. 

“And then you bend over, and pick the shotglass up with your mouth, and chug.” He said. “No hands.” 

"I wanna do a blowjob shot.” Molly said. “Beau, do one with me.” He dragged her over. She had thrown on a binder, a floral men’s shirt that was unbuttoned, and low leather pants. 

“Why the fuck do I have to do it?” She bitched. 

“Because if you don’t you’re a little bitch.” Molly said. He knew the fastest way to get Beau to do something was to say she was a little bitch if she didn’t. 

“Fucking fine, I’ll do a blowjob with you.” She said. Jester cheered and the bartender clapped his hands together in delight. The shots were a rich brown and Molly could smell the coffee liqueur in them as they were topped off with whip cream. He and Beau took their seats, Molly grinning with anticipation and Beau glaring at him. 

“I hate you so much right now.” She grumbled. 

“Hey,” Molly leaned closer, “This is your chance to show off for Yash.” 

“Who says she doesn’t know how good my tongue is?” Beau stuck her tongue out and leaned back. Molly raised an eyebrow at her. 

“You know, I’m beginning to think you’re good enough for her.” He muttered. 

“Oh wow. I’m just gonna leap for fucking joy.” She deadpanned. The bartender slid the shots over. 

“I’m going to go first.” Molly passed Beau the shot and she spread her legs with a deliberate glance at Yasha. Molly saw his friend’s eyes darken and she licked her lips. “Watch the master at work, Beauregard. Take notes.” 

The shot was piled high with whip cream and part of Molly wished Caleb was here. He knew that Caleb would have hated a club setting, but he wanted to show off for Caleb. As it was, he could show off for Vax. 

He clasped his hands behind his back and lowered his head. He tossed his curls about before licking the whip cream and wrapping his lips around the shot glass. He tossed his head back, not bothering to swallow as the booze slid down his throat. He pulled the glass away to hoots and cheers, grabbing Beau’s from the bartender and putting it right above his dick. 

“I hate you. I hate you. I’m gonna put Nair in your shampoo.” Beau clasped her hands and bent over. She didn’t bother licking the whip cream and Molly felt her teeth connect with the glass. She pulled up and started to cough. 

“Swallow, Beau!” Jester hollered. “Swallow the white stuff!” 

Beau choked with laughter and a good bit of the shot spilled out as she cackled, coughing. Molly laughed at her plight and she took the rest of the shot and threw it at him. 

“That is the worst blowjob I have ever seen.” Percy muttered. 

“Okay then Lord Boarding School.” Beau snapped. “You do it.” 

“Yes darling, do a Blowjob with me.” Vex grabbed Percy’s hand and dragged him over to the chairs. Molly shot Vex a wink and she shot him one back as they changed places, Vex in Molly’s seat and Percy in Beau’s. Percy was looking both determined and frightened and Vex was playing with her hair. 

“Shall I go first?” Percy asked as the shots were pushed toward them. 

“Here I thought the adage was ‘ladies first’?” She teased. 

“Oh then, by all means Vex’ahlia.” Percy spread his legs and relaxed back into his chair and Molly’s mouth went a little bit a dry. 

“That’s it Percy!” Scalan hooted. “Get it!” Molly watched as a tiny blush appeared on Percy’s face. 

Vex grinned up at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She hadn’t teased it, but had taken it out it’s braid so it flowed long and curly over her shoulders and back. Percy watched her, obviously enthralled, as she made eye contact with him and lowered her head. Molly saw her lick the whip cream from the shot before wrapping her lips and sucking, her cheeks hollowing in a suggestive manner. A muscle in Percy’s jaw ticked as she threw her head back, a tiny trickle of the drink running down her neck and over the curves of her chest. 

“Well, they’ll be fucking within a week.” Molly said to Vax. 

“I know them both. I’d say two weeks, but Vex’ll wear Freddie down.” He joked. They watched as Percy took his time licking the whip cream from the glass before downing it. 

“Oh now he’s just teasing.” Vax laughed. 

“How terribly cruel.” Molly mused. 

“Lets do a blowjob, for old time’s sake?” Vax reached up and brushed his thumb over Molly’s lower lip. 

“Only if you’re alright with it being filmed.” Molly waved his phone about. “I want someone to see this.” 

“Are you being a tease, Mollymauk?” Vax asked gently. 

“Always.” Molly shoved his phone at Jester and ask her to film. 

“You know, I’ve never been filmed in the act.” Vax laughed as the sat down. He paused at Keyleth, kissing her gently. She threaded her hands in his hair in such a tender gesture it made Molly miss Caleb even more. Jester filmed them getting into place and Shaun took a moment to tie Vax’s hair back before kissing him gently. 

“You really love them, don’t you?” Molly asked gently. 

“With all my heart.” Vax said. “Shall I go first?” He passed Molly a shot. Molly grinned a lazy grin, and relaxed against the seat. He threw his arm over the back of the couch and spread his legs as Vax opened his mouth. He lowered himself as Keyleth hollered and cheered in back, wine-drunk and happy. 

“That’s my boyfriend!” She cheered as Vax licked the whip cream off and downed the shot without trouble. 

“Your turn, Mollymuak dear.” Vex said. He took the shotglass and spread it above his tight leather pants. 

“Hunh. Smaller than I remember.” Molly said. Everyone roared with laughter and Vax turned to Scalan. 

“That is a lie!” He said as Scanlan wiped tears of mirth from his face. 

“Too late, it’s been said. You can’t take back what’s been said!” He paused. “Hey, I like that.” He dug out his phone and tapped on the screen aggressively. 

Vax grabbed Molly by the jaw and Molly couldn’t help the whine that fell from his lips. “You always were a brat.” 

“And you loved it.” Molly said. 

“That I did.” Vax said. “I’m a taken man now.” He let Molly’s jaw go. “If it’s easier for you, you can pretend I’m him.” Vax’s voice was layered; there was a sadness there, a kind of pity for Molly and a bit of hope as well. Molly didn’t have anything to say to that. He just glanced as his phone as Jester filmed. He shot it a wink before lowering his head. 

He made a show of this one. He licked the whip cream with just the tip of his tongue before running the flat of it over the top of the glass. He felt some whip land on the corner of his mouth. He felt Vax’s hand tangle in his hair and push his mouth down. It was a familiar sensation and he whined with it. He wrapped his lips around the shot glass before arching his back and slowly rising, tilting his head back to let the booze run down his throat. 

“Slut!” Beau called from the corner and Molly laughed, the shotglass falling into his lap. 

“And you know it.” Molly called back before looking at his phone. He mouthed ‘miss you’ and stood. 

“Molly, are you going to send that to Caleb?” Jester asked, handing him his phone. He tapped a bit at the screen and send off the video. 

“Already sent.” Molly shot her a wink. 

Caleb’s phone beeped and he picked it up without thinking. He unlocked it before glancing away from his book. He had a new video message from Molly. He smiled a bit and pressed play, and then nearly choked on his tea. 

There was another man, Vex’s brother, the beautiful man from before, with his hand on Molly’s jaw. He watched as Molly took some kind of drink from Vax’s lap, with his hands tangled in Molly’s hair. He watched as Molly drained the shot and mouthed ‘miss you’ at the camera. 

He replayed the video three times before replying. 

Molly was outside in the Los Angeles night, breathing deeply as he smoked a cigarette. His phone beeped and he saw it was Caleb. 

_Firstly, you look beautiful. Secondly, you are a terrible tease. Thirdly, I am hard and this is because of you. Fourthly, I never want to see another man touch you ever again._

Molly blinked in pleasant surprise. Caleb had a possessive streak. Who knew? The backdoor opened and out tumbled Shaun, Vax and Kiki, all tangled together. Molly really liked Keyleth. This was his first time meeting her, but something in her reminded Molly of fire. She was warm and gentle and loving, but Molly had a feeling that at her core she was a tempest, she was an oncoming storm, full of rage and wildness. He liked that in a person. 

“There you are!” Kiki said, stumbling over to him. He caught her and she laughed in delight. 

“You’re drunk.” Molly said. 

“Only a little. Ssssshhhh!” She put her finger to her bubble-gum pink lips. 

“It’s our little secret.” Molly kissed her cheek and she giggled. 

“Are you alright, Molly?” Vax asked. “I’ve never seen you pine after anyone.” He leaned into Shuan and the dark man smiled at him. 

“I’m pining.” Molly admitted. “I’m in love.” He admitted. Vax gasped, eyes going wide. 

“Do not get me wrong, Molly, I’m terribly glad for you, it had to happen sooner or later, it’s just surprising. What’s his name?” Vax asked. 

“Caleb.” Molly said. “Caleb Widogast.” 

“That’s the gentleman Vex wants us to speak to?” Shaun asked. 

“The one I gave my laptop too!” Kiki chirped. 

“That’s him.” Molly said. 

“He seems a tad fragile.” Shaun said, digging out a pack of cigarettes. Keyleth frowned at Shaun but he lit up anyway. 

“He’s better.” Molly said. “Much better. He wasn’t even speaking when I first met him. I got his first word.” He beamed with pride. “And his first smile. And his first laugh.” 

The three of them looked at Molly then at each other. 

“I think I’ll wear green to their wedding.” Keyleth mused. 

“You look fetching in green Kiki.” Shaun said and Keyleth rose to kiss his cheek. She opened her mouth to speak when Jester tumbled out of the door. 

“Vax, Molly. Come quick. Please.” She ran back up the steps and all four of them followed. 

The group of people was huddled around Beau, and they were looking at her phone. They rushed over and Molly inhaled sharply though his nose. 

There, on the screen, in a sickly green tone, was a woman. Her hair was tucked into her hood and her face was hidden by a doll mask, and there was a knife in her hand as she looked up at the camera. 

“Who the fuck is that!?” Molly asked. 

“She broke in a few nights ago, scared the fuck out of Beau.” Vax explained. 

“She snuck up on me and she had a knife.” Beau shot Molly a look.

“How the fuck did she sneak up on you?” Molly asked. 

“I wonder the same thing.” She muttered with murder in her voice.  
They turned back to the phone. They watched as she dug out a key and tried to turn the handle with her bare hand. A red light appeared on Beau’s screen and the door refused to open. 

The woman jiggled the door, growing more violent and angry each second. Slowly, slowly, she turned her head to look up at the camera. 

“Nott.” He gasped. “Nott’s at the cafe.” He dug out his phone and dialed her. The woman’s head jerked up to the windows as the phone began to ring. Jester was on her phone as well, talking to the cops. 

“Molly?” Nott asked. 

“Nott, get your knife and get in a closet.” He said. “The woman with the mask is back and she’s at the door.” 

There was a moment of silence and then Molly heard the faintest whisper of fabric and the shutting of a door. 

“Alright. I’m hidden. I have my knife.” Nott said. 

“Stay there. We have eyes on her and the cops are on their way.” Molly said. He watched as the woman jiggled the handle, growing more and more violent until her whole body was shaking with anger. 

“I hear the door.” Nott whispered. 

“It’s alright. The cops are on their way. Jester is talking to them now.” Molly said. He watched as the woman turned back to the camera. The mask was afixed with a permanent child-like grin and Molly hated it. The woman on Beau’s screen lifted her knife and tapped the camera lens with it. Molly watched as she scratched the lens and then sliced at the door with it. He watched as blinking lights shone on the back door and the woman ran off. 

“You all need to get back home.” Percy said. His hands were clenched and he was shaking. “Now.” Vex ran her hands over his shoulders and he turned, burying his face in her neck. 

“Go.” She said. 

Fields’ phone rang. He jumped awake and grabbed it, alert. He was always a quick sleeper, and war just made him easier to wake. His bedmate made a noise and looked over her shoulder at him. 

“Go back to sleep Anne.” He said. 

“My name’s Kim.” She grumbled. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, not really meaning it. “Fields. Talk to me.” He rose. He nearly glowed in the darkness as he paced quietly. 

“We have a ping.” The tech said. “You know that Cafe your informant works at? Well, they some serious security now. They got those fancy doorknobs that read your fingerprint when someone tries to force the door open, it’s military grade shit, and it sends us the print of whoever forced the door open, it’s really cool. I wonder how they got it.” The tech murmured. Fields privately thought that what these guys did: spending their days locked away and their nights alone screwed with their brains a bit. 

“You said there was a ping?” He asked. 

“Oh yeah, a lead on a case long cold.” The voice said. “She went missing nearly twenty years ago in Colorado. Her name is Brittney DeLuce. I’m sending you the last photo of her.” 

He phone beeped and opened the photo, and a spike of ice went into his chest. 

There, on his phone screen, was a young girl. She was perhaps twelve years old, maybe fourteen at the oldest. She had red hair, green eyes, freckles, and was smiling in a school photo. The thing that scared him was not only did he recognize her, but there was nothing behind her eyes. 

“That’s Astrid.” He said gently. “That’s one of the people from the Compound who’s missing.” 

“It’s a safe bet the other is with her too.” The tech said. 

“And where is that?” He asked again. 

“The trauma cafe your guy used to work at. Cops are already there. Should we send field agents in the morning?” The tech asked. 

“Yes. Call Winters. I’m on my way. We need everything.” Fields shoved his white legs into his sweats and hung up the phone. 

“Kim, I’m sorry, work calls.” He turned to her. She grumbled in her sleep. He ran a hand over her dark shoulder, his own stark white sharp in contrast. “Help yourself to breakfast, alright?” He said. 

“You know, I didn’t mind that you called me ‘Caliana’.” She mumbled. “Your dick game is bomb.” He laughed a bit and she gave him the peace sign over her shoulder. 

He hurried to the Hoover building, not even bothering to get dressed properly. He was in sweats and little robot slippers that made beeping noises when he moved and Winters was in a nightgown that said ‘coffee first, people later’ with her silk bonnet still on her head. 

“Nice shoes.” She joked. 

“Nice hat.” He replied. 

“Come on you two.” The tech from the phone blinked. He was short and greasy looking, as if he had rolled around in a bucket of KFC and called that a bath. His hair was shaved and his eyes were wide behind his glasses and in his shirt pocket was an honest to God pocket protector. They followed him through the basement and into the file room. 

“Here’s everything we have Brittney DeLuc. Home address, school reports, report cards, copies of her old MySpace page, everything.” Fields spread it out. 

“She liked horses.” Winters mused. 

“God, she was a horse girl.” Fields swore. 

Together they laid out all the papers they had; records of text messages and instant messages and old school reports and photos of her barrel racing. They grabbed coffee and worked into the dawn. 

“Hey, get this.” Winters said. “A string of AIM messages from Brittney to her friend.” She cleared her throat. 

“Britney said ‘and to top it off my fucking my horse broke it’s ankle’ and her friend replied ‘Oh Em Gee, is your horse okay’ and Britney said ‘who gives a fuck about the stupid dead horse, I didn’t make the jump’.” Winters and Fields locked eyes. 

“What are you thinking?” He asked her. 

“I’m thinking that if we can find any more records of instances like this in her past, we have a possible case of anti-social personality disorder on top of the cult conditioning.” She said. 

“Maria, use tiny words I’m a solider.” Fields said. She laughed and smiled at her partner. 

“She’s a crazy bitch, Ben.” Winters sighed, sitting back in her chair. “Hey, where’s the contact info for her parents? How do we get in touch?” She asked the tech. 

“With a fuckin’ ouija board.” The tech said. “Been dead nearly twenty years.” 

Winters sat up, exhaustion gone from her face. “How long?” 

“Damn near two decades now.” 

“Maria,” Fields said, “Talk to me.” 

“How did they die?” She sat up and walked over to the tech’s station and clamped a hand on his shoulder. 

“Okay okay fucking Christ you dragon-lady, hold on.” He grumbled, clicking at his keyboard. “They were poisoned.” He said. 

“How long after Britney was taken did they die?” She asked. 

“A year and a half, give or a take. Why?” He asked. Winters turned to Fields. 

“How long after Caleb was kidnapped did his parents die?” She asked, stalking closer to him. Fields knew his partner inside and out, they were inseparable and she was his mind as he was her trigger finger. He knew what she was thinking. 

“A year and a half.” He rose and the robot noises his slippers made cut through the silence. “You think they killed their parents?” He asked. 

“I think he’s making them kill their parents.” She said. She glanced to the clock and sighed. It was nearly seven am, and Caleb would be there soon. 

“We need to ask him how his family died.” She said. 

“And if he confesses to the murders, what then?” Fields asked. 

“I get his ass a Presidential pardon.” Winters said. “Darion owes me a favor and Bryce can get me audience.” 

“Oh the joys of having family members in congress.” Fields snarked. 

“Eat my entire ass Ben. We have work to do.” 

 

“And how FUCKING LONG were you going to keep this from me?” Molly screamed. They were back at the Cafe, the cops gone, and Molly was outraged. 

“For as long as we had to.” Nott said. “To protect Caleb.” 

“Protect him?” Molly asked. “By lying to him? He’s spent a whole fucking month away in the company of total strangers and he wants to come home, to come here, to be safe, and you’re fucking LYING TO HIM by saying that it is safe when there’s a fucking….” He couldn’t say ‘crazy lady’, not when Beau woke from night terrors still, not when Yasha was still scared of fireworks, not when Nott was still scared of cops, not when Jester saw things that weren’t there. “scary ass bitch in a doll mask trying to slit your throats in your sleep!” 

“Protect his recovery by keeping him from relapsing.” Nott said. 

“You think he can’t handle it?” Molly shouted. 

“Dude you know him better than fucking anyone.” Beau said. “Do you really think Caleb can handle knowing that one of the people he’s terrified of tried to break in?” 

Molly wanted to say that yes, Caleb could handle it. He wanted to say that yes, Caleb could deal, that yes, Caleb could take it. But he knew the truth. He knew that this would set Caleb back in his recovery, quite possibly making him go non-verbal again. This would take the Caleb that Molly loved and would replace him with the ghost of the man he loved. He sighed, defeated. 

“I have to tell him.” Molly said. “We do not lie to each other. It’s a rule.” 

“You two boyfriends now?” Beau asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“No, we’re just close.” Molly said. “I won’t lie to him.” 

“We’re not asking you to lie, Molls.” Yasha said gently. “We’re asking you to keep it from him.” 

Molly felt like his world had shifted. Yasha was looking at him, head held high, jaw tight, shoulders back, and Molly was blinking at her like a deer in the headlights. 

“What?” He asked gently. “Yash?” 

“Molly, they’re right.” She said. “Caleb needs to be protected.” 

“He’s not as fragile as you all think.” Molly said. “He’s getting better, he’s getting stronger, every day.” He took a deep breath. “He asked me for something the other night. He said the word ‘want’.” Molly’s voice was cracking and it felt like panic was clawing at his chest. “He’s stronger than you all know.” 

“That may be, but Molly, are you willing to risk him panicking when he’s so far away?” Yasha asked. “You won’t be able to help him. If he has a full panic attack like he did with Vex and you can’t help him….” Her voice trailed off. 

Molly sat on the couch, knowing he was defeated. 

“Alright. Alright.” He sighed, rubbing his face. “I want to go on the record stating that I fucking hate this. I want you all to tell him that I fought you tooth and nail and that when he feels hurt and betrayed and like can’t trust anyone that I didn’t want to do this.” 

“We will.” Nott said. “I will.” 

“Thank you, little Nott.” Molly said. 

“Don’t call me little.”


	17. Confessions, Conversations and Pardons

“Caleb, we have something to ask you.” Winters said. She was looking tired, with deep bags under her eyes. Fields was looking even paler than normal, causing Cali to fuss over him as he smiled at her gently. 

“We need to ask you some questions.” Fields sighed. 

“Alright.” Caleb put down his book. “What questions?” 

“Caleb, how did your parents die?” Winters asked. Caleb’s eyes narrowed and he pulled away from them slightly. 

“Why do you need to this?” He asked. “It does not seem….ah, relevant to the situation.” He muttered. 

“Caleb, I’m gonna be frank with you. I respect you. You’ve respected me from the start and have never treated me differently for this.” He ran his hand over his hair. Privately he thought it had something to do with Caleb’s boyfriend, with the bright hair and the feathers on his cheek, but Fields wasn’t going to bring it up. “The BAU people are noticing a pattern.” He said. 

“BAU?” Caleb asked, confused. 

“Behavioral Analysis Unit.” Winters said. “They look at the crimes and give us a profile of the person who did them.” She said. 

“They found a pattern.” Fields said. “A year and a half after the abduction of a minor, their family dies.” He said. “Parents, brothers, sisters, one even had the family dog killed.” 

“We need to know how they died.” Winters said. 

“And if you had anything to do with it.” Fields said. 

Caleb’s hands started to shake 

“And if I was?” He asked. “Will you throw me in jail for murder?” His voice was shaking and he pressed his hands flat to the table. 

“No.” Winters said. “I get you a pardon. The veep owes me a favor.” 

“How have you gotten a favor from the vice president?” Caleb asked in confusion. 

“I have an brother I convinced to vote their way a few years ago.” She said gently. 

“Ah.” Caleb said. “Would this favor pardon me?” He asked. 

“Yes.” She said. “It would be a Presidential Pardon. Darion will pardon you of any crimes you committed while in the cult, either under your own prerogative or not.” 

“So we need to know.” Fields said. They were working in tandem, good cop, bad cop, right and left, pushing and pulling. They were the best simply because of this relationship they had with one another. 

“I…..” Caleb’s shoulders sagged and Fields knew they got him. “I will not go to jail?” He asked. 

“No, Caleb. No.” Winters said. 

“I…” He took a deep breath and shut his eyes. “I murdered my mother and father.” He looked at them, tears in his eyes. “I had been broken. I went by Jacob. I did not speak German. I did not celebrate the sabbath anymore. I was no longer me.” He said. 

“Trent…he took me to my home, in the middle of January, at night. It was so cold that the air froze in my nose as I breathed it in. I was with two others, Astrid and Aeodwulf. Aeodwulf had already passed his test, and so had Astrid. I was left.” 

“Test?” Fields asked. 

“That’s what this was. A test to see if we were loyal.” Caleb explained. “He led me to the door of my old house, and knocked. He told my parents that he had found me in the Park, wandering alone and hungry, and that he and his children had come all the way from Iowa to bring me back. Needless to say, my parents had given up hope. They had thought me dead. They took us in, fed us, led me to old room. It still had my books and clothes, untouched. They tried to pay Trent as a reward you know. He refused it at first, but took it in the end. Then, he nodded to me, and the four of us…” He grimaced and inhaled. 

“The four of us tied up my family, and I led Astrid and Wulf to the valuables. To the money and the safe and the silver we had brought with us from Berlin.” His voice had gone monotone and his was crying. “I….then…it was Chanukah you see? And Trent had brought gasoline from the gas station near my house. I….I covered the floor with gasoline and knocked over the menorah. By the time we were down the drive the house was in flames.” 

He put his head in hands, shoulders shaking as he tried not to cry. 

“I killed them.” He confessed. “I tied them up and let them burn to death.”

 

The rest of the day passed in a blur. He didn’t remember much, too caught up in his own mind. He sighed when he entered his hotel room, landing face-first on the mattress. He wanted to talk to Molly. He felt cold and lonely and empty, and Molly was a bright bonfire of a man, full of light and warmth and Caleb knew that Molly would chase away the cold emptiness that threatened to consume him whole. Caleb grabbed his laptop and opened it, sending a message to Molly, asking if he was up. 

Before he knew it, his laptop was ringing. Molly was calling him. He pressed the little green button and Molly’s face was there, smiling at him. 

“Hello my love, you are a sight for sore eyes.” Molly beamed. 

“Hallo liebling.” Caleb said gently. 

“Darling, you look tired. What happened?” 

“I…I had to tell them a story today, and it was one that is hard to tell.” He confessed. 

“Do you want to tell me the story?” Molly asked. 

“Not now. You have to hear it, but I cannot handle telling it twice in one day.” Caleb said. 

“That’s understandable my darling.” Molly said. “I must be quite a tale for it to leave you so drained.” 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “It is.” He took a breath. “Molly…did you really get your nails short?” 

Molly held up his right hand and showed off the three middle fingers. His pinky and thumb were long and pointed, like always. 

“My nail girl was surprised. I’ve always had long nails.” Molly explained. 

“Then why did you get them changed? I am not worth it.” Caleb said gently. 

“Caleb, darling, yes you are.” Molly said. “Even if you never choose to fuck me, I enjoy fingering myself. And guess what, you’re coming home in less than a week. I want to be ready for you.” 

“Molly, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Caleb said gently. 

“That’s fine Caleb.” Molly spoke. “Even if you just kiss me that’s fine. I just…fuck Caleb, I just want you, in any way you’ll let me.” He ran his hands through his hair, and Caleb noticed that it was greasy. 

“Molly, is everything alright?” Caleb asked. 

“Yes, why do you ask?” Molly wondered. 

“Your hair. It is always very clean but now it is not. You look tired as well. Molly, is everything alright?” 

Molly chewed on his thumb nail, looking away from Caleb. He sighed, running his hands through his hair again. 

“Caleb, something did happen but it’s not my place to tell you.” He said. “Please, understand, I can’t tell you because it doesn’t involve me. Know that everyone at the Cafe is safe, and that Vex and her family are safe. Do not ask me any more because I can’t lie to you and I can’t tell you.” He looked right into the camera. 

“Please, Caleb, let it be.” Molly’s gray eyes were exhausted and Caleb could see the bags under them. 

“Everyone we love is safe, ja?” Caleb asked. 

“Safe as houses, my dear.” Molly said. 

“Then I will not ask or press.” Caleb said. “Thank you for telling me and not lying to me.” 

“I said I would never lie to you. I will lie to everyone else in this whole world, but not to you. Never to you.” Molly said. “The trust you have given me is too important.” 

Caleb smiled gently and curled up on his side. He dragged the pillow over to prop his head up as Molly moved to mimic him. 

“Molly, why are you so kind to me?” Caleb asked gently. 

“You’re special to me, darling.” Molly said. “I care about a lot of people, but somehow in the time I’ve known you, you’ve come to rival Yasha for space in my heart.” 

“That means a lot.” Caleb said. “Molly….” He made a face. “In group the last week…Beauregard said that you were moping. She said that you were missing me.” 

“Damn her.” Molly swore. “I’m gonna get revenge, I swear.” 

“And how do you plan to do that?” Caleb asked. 

“Wet Willie when she’s not expecting it.” Molly answered right away. “She hates them.” 

“This is going to start a prank war, ja?” Caleb smiled softly. 

“Oh darling, we go all out.” Molly laughed. 

“Why were you crying?” Caleb asked. “Molly, is everything alright? Are you alright?” 

“Caleb…” Molly sighed, suddenly serious. “I was crying, yes. I was crying because I realized how much I missed you, how much I care about you, when I watched you walk away at the airport.” 

“You cried because you missed me?” Caleb asked. The thought of anyone caring about him enough to cry over him blew his mind. “Molly, you shouldn’t care about me that much. I am not worth it.” He said. “I am a garbage person with blood on my hands. I have hurt people and killed people and you are so…” Caleb could feel the tears running down his face. How could he let Molly know how he felt? How could he make Molly understand that Caleb wasn’t worth Molly’s affections, let alone his attention? How could he make Molly understand that Caleb was a monster. 

“You are so good, Molly.” Caleb decided on. “You are good and I am not.” 

“Caleb, darling, my love, hush.” Molly said. “You are good. You are choosing to get better. You chose to escape, you realized what was around you wasn’t right, wasn’t good, and you left. You did a very brave thing and left. You are good.” He emphatically said. “Where is this coming from, my dear?” 

Caleb wiped his cheeks and sniffled a bit. He had done a lot of crying today. 

“Caleb, are you alright? Can you talk to me?” Molly asked. Caleb sniffled. 

“I know you said you will never lie to me, but I am having a hard time believing you.” He confessed. 

“And that’s alright. It just means that I have to say it every day until you believe me.” Molly grinned. Caleb felt his heart flip in his chest and he had to avert his gaze. 

Oh. 

Oh dear. 

Was this…was this love? 

Caleb buried his face in his pillow, listening to Molly talk but not hearing him. 

Was he in love with Molly? Was he in love with his friend? Was he so twisted and wrong that he fell in love with the first man to show him kindness? 

What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he have been normal, like other people? Why did his twisted soul have to fall in love with his friend? With a good man who doesn’t deserve a soul as tainted as Caleb’s to follow him around for the rest of their lives? 

“Caleb, honey?” Molly asked. “My darling, are you with me?” 

“Ja.” Caleb mumbled. He peeked out from the pillow. “Ja, I am just tired.” He said. 

“I should let you go.” Molly said. 

Oh yes, this was love. This burning, aching in chest that made his blood sing and a silly little grin split his face and a sense of joyous contentment wash over him. 

Oh, this was bad. 

“I should let you go too.” Caleb said. 

“Two more days.” Molly said. “Two more days and then I can kiss you and suck your cock and be bent over the bed by you.” 

“You are very eager, Mollymauk.” Caleb laughed. 

“To have that beautiful dick of yours inside me however I can?” Molly laughed. “You bet your handsome ass I am.” 

“I just want this all to be done with.” Caleb sighed. “I want to go home.” 

“We want you home too.” There was the jingle of a bell and Frumpkin walked into the frame, purring and headbutting Molly. 

“Frumpkin!” Caleb cooed. He babytalked in German and the cat’s ears perked up. He meowed and sniffed at the laptop speakers before rubbing his cheeks on the laptop. 

“He misses you too.” Molly said. He pulled the cat close and Frumpkin curled into Molly’s body, purring and closing his eyes. 

“I will see him soon.” Caleb said. “And you.” 

“And me.” Molly agreed. “Go sleep darling. You need it.” 

 

“Are they really that dangerous?” Bryce asked. They fixed Winters with their bright blue eyes. 

“Yes.” She said. “Bryce, I wouldn’t ask this of you and Darion if I had no other choice. We will bring them down, and Caleb, without this pardon, will end up in jail.” 

“He murdered his parents, and did all sorts of other things.” Bryce countered. 

“Under brainwashing. He didn’t know what he was doing.” She replied. 

“That was the defense for the Manson girls.” Bryce leaned back. They had multiple law degrees and were a fan of history. 

“Yes, but those girls did horrific crimes and they enjoyed doing them. Caleb was just trying to survive.” Winters reached out and took Bryce’s hands in her own. “Come on, you and I were at Cornell together. We were classmates. I know how you think. Please, Bryce.” She asked. 

“Is his information solid?” The Vice President asked. 

“As granite.” Winters said. 

A slow smile spread over Bryce’s face and they started to laugh. 

“We’d knew you ask this.” They reached into the couch and pulled out a file and passed it to Winters. She opened it and saw the writing. 

“This is the presidential pardon. You had this ready. You strung me along. You ass!”

Bryce doubled over laughing. The secret service agents behind them shifted awkwardly on their feet. 

“I am sorry, Maria, but I couldn’t resist.” They said. 

Maria smacked them on the arm and they just laughed harder. 

“He’s been through hell and back, Bryce!” She said. 

“I know, and we know it here too.” They said. “He’s done quite a lot for the investigation and Darion and I know that he’s doing his best to recover. He’s a good man.” 

“He’s one of the best men I have ever met.” 

“High praise, coming from you.” They teased.

“Oh shut up Bryce.”


	18. Homecoming

“Caleb, one more thing.” Winters and Fields had driven him to the airport. They had been very kind to Caleb on the last day of his trip; taking him out for breakfast and getting up before the sun to help him catch his flight. 

“Ja?” He asked. She handed him a slim file and he opened it. He read the paper and his eyes went wide. 

“What?” He looked up, glancing between the two agents. 

“You’re pardoned.” Fields said. “Of any crimes you committed.” 

“You won’t go to jail.” Winters said. 

“You’re free.” Field spoke. 

“I….” His knees gave out and Fields caught him. “Why?” He asked. His head read reeling with the little slip of paper in his hands. With this, he could lead a normal life after all of this was over. He and Molly could lead normal lives. As normal as Molly could be. 

“You’re a good man. You deserve freedom and joy.” Fields said. His grip was tight on Caleb’s biceps as Caleb found his feet again. 

“Go home, Caleb.” Winters said. “Tuck that somewhere safe, and go home.” They took him and walked him through security, flashing their badges to get past TSA. They walked him right to his gate. 

“Thank you.” He said to them. “For…..for everything.” 

Winters pulled him into a tight hug. 

“You’re welcome Caleb.” She said. “With any luck we’ll see you again at the raid.” 

“Which shouldn’t be for another six months, unless something happens.” Fields said. He pulled Caleb into a hug, patting him firmly on the back. 

“Go.” Fields said. “Go back to your Molly.” 

His Molly. 

“Ja. I will.” Caleb didn’t try to argue. Even if Molly didn’t feel the same about Caleb, Caleb belonged to Molly, heart and soul. 

The flight was uneventful, but Caleb couldn’t help but reach down into his carry-on to run his fingers over the file. He kept compulsively checking that it was there. He didn’t want to pull it out and read it, simply because he didn’t want his seatmates to be frightened about the strange German man with this important slip of paper.

As they got closer and closer to Los Angeles, his nerves grew and grew. Molly would be picking him up at the airport, and they would go get Frumpkin and drive to the Cafe. That was a long time alone, with Molly. He was both somehow excited and anxious. He span his ring about and played with the pendant and was unable to focus on his book, despite himself. The five hours in the air felt like some of the finest torture he’s ever been given. 

The plane landed and Caleb felt time slow down. Of course, he knew that it wasn’t really slowing, but the sheer fact that it took what felt like a lifetime to taxi into their gate and get off the damn plane didn’t help his nerves. Caleb was standing in the middle of the baggage claim area, clutching his carry-on, as he dug out and turned on his phone. He swore and held it up, looking for service. 

“CALEB!” He heard his name shouted through the building and he turned. 

There was Molly, standing ontop of a string of carts for luggage, a wide grin on his face. He was wearing a red lace crop top and black pants so low that most of his stomach was exposed. He was grinning from ear to ear as their eyes locked and a wave of want crashed over Caleb like a tsunami. It was as if Caleb’s world had come to a crashing halt. There was Molly, bright and flamboyant in the sea of people. The world fell away as Molly grinned like a madman and Caleb’s feet began to move of their own accord. 

Caleb found himself drawn to Molly, like there was a hook in his chest tugging him forward. Molly jumped down from the carts and started to move through the crowd. Molly pushed his way through and started to run. Caleb sped up and then Molly crashed into him, wrapping his arms around Caleb. 

Molly smelled like incense and Old Spice and weed and coffee and whip cream and he smelled so much like home that Caleb’s knees gave out. He tucked his face into Molly’s neck as they fell to the ground, holding each other close. 

“I missed you.” Molly gasped out. He pulled back and cupped Caleb’s cheeks. “Never go where I can’t follow ever again.” There were tears in his eyes and his mascara was running. Caleb reached up and wiped his cheeks free of makeup tracks. 

“I won’t.” Caleb said. Molly pulled him tight and threaded his fingers through his hair. “I missed you, too.” He confessed. His face was tucked into Molly’s neck and the other man was running his free hand up and down Caleb’s spine. Caleb pressed his hands to the miles of bare skin exposed by Molly’s top and felt his cock twitch. 

“Well, someone’s happy to see me.” Molly laughed. 

“Ah, yes. Ah - sorry?” Caleb offered. Molly chuckled into the shell of his ear. 

“Oh don’t be sorry for that.” Molly said. “Lets me know you want me. It’s flattering.” 

Caleb pulled back a bit and his eyes flickered to Molly’s pretty mouth. 

“None of that here, darling. There’s children about.” Molly kissed his forehead before rising to his feet. “Come on, let’s get your luggage and go home. Frumpkin misses you.” 

“I miss him as well.” Caleb admitted as Molly pulled him to his feet. He didn’t want to let go of Molly’s hand but he forced himself to drop it anyway. It didn’t take long for them to get his bag and to hop on the freeway. 

“I’m giving you a head’s up, Jester’s holding a party in a few days.” Molly said. He glanced over to Caleb. “I’m giving you a head’s up because I get the feeling you don’t like surprises. But it’s meant to be a surprise. It’s for you and Vax.” 

“Ah. I would like to meet him.” Caleb confessed. 

“He wants to meet you too. He wants to talk to you. He’s a good man.” Molly said. 

Caleb glanced over as Molly. 

“What was Vax, to you exactly?” He asked. 

“Jealous, darling?” Molly teased. 

“A bit.” Caleb confessed. “He is…very beautiful, like you. I am not.” 

“Caleb, Vax was a lover of mine, yes, but we broke it off.” He said. “And it was just casual. We fucked, a lot, but we never really had an emotional bond. And when he left to go back overseas we both agreed to break it off. When he came back he got with both Shaun and Keyleth, and now we’re just friends.” Molly said. He reached over and rested his hand on Caleb’s thigh. “You don’t have to be worried or jealous.” Before he could pull his hand back, Caleb rested his own on top of it. 

“I cannot help it.” He confessed. Caleb ran his fingertips over the skin on Molly’s hand and arm, tracing the outline of the snake tattoo. 

“Darling, don’t worry.” Molly said. “I am content to let this thing we have be label-less for a good long while, until you get comfortable with it. I am content to go at your pace, but Caleb, I am yours.” Molly hit a red light as he pulled off the freeway and turned to face Caleb. 

“I am yours, in every way that matters.” He reached out and cupped Caleb’s cheek. He ran his thumb over Caleb’s bottom lip and the red-head looked up at him. 

“Molly.” He gasped softly. Molly bit his lip and he saw Caleb’s eyes go dark with need. He ran his thumb over Caleb’s bottom lip once more and Caleb’s tongue flicked out to run over the pad his finger. 

“Caleb.” Molly muttered. “Fuck you’re gonna be the death of me.” He laughed. “Caleb, may I-” 

There was a blaring horn and Molly jumped out of his seat. 

“Fine! Fine!” He shot the car behind him the bird as he went into the intersection. He pulled into his complex sporting half an erection and he was very frustrated. 

He wanted to kiss Caleb. He wanted to kiss Caleb and run his hands over his body and make Caleb cry out his name. He wanted Caleb, in all the ways he could. 

He pulled into his spot and they headed up the steps. Molly opened the door and Caleb made a kissy noise. Out of the bedroom came the tinkle of a bell and loud, aggressive meowing. Frumpkin trotted out of the bedroom and ran to Caleb, headbutting his shins and rubbing his whole body along Caleb’s leg. 

“Hallo Frumpkin.” Caleb picked him up and the cat purred, headbutting his jaw and licking his beard. “I missed you too, my friend.” Caleb said softly. 

Molly watched the two and checked the traffic on his phone. 

“Well, shit.” He said. “We’re not going anywhere.” He shut the door to his apartment. 

“What?” Caleb asked. 

“Look.” He held out his phone. The freeways were nothing but red lines. “There’s so much traffic from this accident. We can’t go to the Cafe tonight.” He sighed. He shot Jester a text and got a crying emoji in reply. 

“Oh.” Caleb said. “Do…may I sleep on your couch?” He asked. 

“Caleb, darling, I was hoping you’d sleep in my bed.” Molly turned to him. The look on his face was damn near predatory. Caleb was aware that he was now alone with Molly in his apartment for the whole night. 

“I…ah.. are you sure?” He asked, letting Frumpkin down. 

“Oh yes.” Molly stalked over to Caleb. “I’ve been wanting you in my bed for a good long while.” He grabbed Caleb’s chin gently. He turned Caleb’s head and pressed a soft kiss to the skin of his jaw. Caleb shuddered and he grabbed Molly’s hips. Molly pressed soft kisses along his jaw before nibbling on Caleb’s earlobe. 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped. 

“I am willing to go as slow as you need me to.” Molly said. “I will not rush you. I will not pressure you. I will go at your pace.” His voice was low in Caleb’s ear. 

“Molly.” He turned his head. 

“What do you want, Caleb?” Molly asked. 

Caleb’s hands clenched on Molly’s hips. He wanted so many things. He wanted Molly kissing him, his hands on his skin, Molly naked in his lap, Molly on his knees for Caleb. 

“I want food.” He blurted out in a mild panic. Molly threw back his head and cackled. 

“That’s fair.” He laughed. Caleb smiled at him, glad that Molly wasn’t angry about Caleb ruining the mood. 

“Hey, how does deli food sound? There’s one down the street and they deliver.” Molly asked. He pulled off his shoes and had his phone in hand. 

“I….yes.” Caleb said. He took his own shoes off. “That sounds delightful.” 

The ended up on the couch, watching the news reports as multiple helicopters reported on the accident. 

“Dude’s gonna get fired.” Molly said.

“I wonder how they are going to clean it all up?” Caleb asked.

“Such a waste of honey.” Molly said. 

“The bees will be happy.” Caleb said. He was finishing off his tongue as Molly picked his pastrami to bits. 

“Here. Try some.” He held out a slice of meat and Caleb opened his mouth to say that Molly could just hand it to him when Molly shoved it in. He choked a bit before managing to chew. 

“Do not just shove it in my mouth, Molly.” He chided. Molly managed to keep a straight face for perhaps half a second before cracking up. 

“That’s what she said.” He gasped out. 

“I don’t understand.” Caleb muttered. 

“It’s a dick joke.” Molly wheezed. 

“Ah.” Caleb said, laughing. “The pastrami is good.” 

“I can’t believe that you’re eating tongue.” Molly whined. 

“It is good.” Caleb said. 

“It’s strange.” Molly said. 

“Not the strangest thing I have ever eaten.” Caleb said. 

“What is the strangest thing you have eaten?” Molly snagged a fry and turned to watch Caleb. 

“Bison balls.” Caleb said. “A bit chewy, but very good when fried.” He took a slice of the tongue out of his sandwich and held it out for Molly. “Here.” 

“Well, I’ll never say no to your tongue in my mouth.” He put his empty food aside and leaned forward. He ran his tongue over Caleb’s fingers before pulling the meat into his mouth. 

“It is good.” Molly said in surprise. Caleb’s eyes were wide as he watched Molly. “Everything alright, my dear?” 

“Ja.” His voice was low and his eyes were fixed on Molly’s mouth. 

“See something you like?” Molly asked. He shifted on the couch and rose to his knees. Caleb dropped his container of food on the coffee table, unable to take his eyes from Molly’s face. 

“Yes. I do.” Caleb was unable to rip his eyes from Molly’s face and the man smirked. He stretched his arms over his head and arched his back in a way that showed off his trim waist. “I see you,” Caleb continued. “Being a brat.” 

“I’m always a brat, my dear.” Molly said. “That’s who I am.” He laughed.

“You need to learn to behave.” Caleb said, voice low and dangerous. It sent a shiver down Molly’s spine. 

“And why would I want to that?” Molly asked. He ran his hand down his chest and cupped his cock. Caleb’s eyes moved to his hand and he rose to a sitting position. “Are you gonna spank me if I don’t?” 

“It is tempting.” Caleb admitted. He reached out and ran a shaking hand up Molly’s thigh. The confidence bled away and suddenly he was Caleb Widogast, the thirty-three year old virgin who had never been kissed. 

“Caleb, darling?” Molly asked. He rested his hands on Caleb’s shoulders. 

“I do not know where to take this, now.” He confessed with a small laugh. 

“Well, we’ll go slowly.” Molly straddled Caleb and the other man inhaled sharply through his nose. “Caleb? Are you alright?” 

“I…” Caleb licked his lips. “I am fine.” He said. “I just had a dream like this.” He admitted. 

“Oh?” Molly asked. “Give me details?” 

“You…you were in my lap, kissing me, moaning my name, grinding into me.” Caleb confessed. Molly shifted his weight, bringing himself down to rest in Caleb’s lap. 

“Like this?” He asked, rocking his hips. Caleb gasped, hands flying to Molly’s hips. 

“Yes.” He gasped. “Molly, yes.”

Molly rocked his hips against Caleb’s, whining. 

“Good thing I like being on top.” He shuddered. Caleb wrapped his arms around Molly’s hips and looked up at him. 

“Caleb, darling.” Molly asked. “May I kiss you?” His hand came up to brush some hair from Caleb’s cheeks. 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped out. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since before I left.” 

“Now you’re back.” Molly said. “And you can kiss me all you like.” Molly cupped Caleb’s face in his hands, bent his head, and kissed Caleb. 

It was imperfect and slightly awkward, as all first kisses really are. It wasn’t something out of a fairy story or a Disney movie, where the sun came through the clouds and the birds started to sing. It was slightly awkward, with Caleb learning how to move his mouth against Molly’s. But once he started to kiss back, oh he knew he was hooked. 

He whined into Molly’s mouth, running his hand up Molly’s chest. He felt Molly’s tongue slide against his lips and he opened his mouth gently. Molly’s tongue was hot and slick as it brushed against Caleb’s own and he moaned at the feeling. Molly tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away. 

“Oh.” Molly gasped. His face was flushed and his lip was shiny with Caleb’s spit and his eyes were closed. He opened them and Caleb locked eyes with Molly. 

They surged together, Caleb kissing Molly like a drowning man. Molly ground his hips into Caleb’s as the red-head ran his hands up under Molly’s lace top. Molly broke the kiss to pull it over his head and Caleb licked a stripe over Molly’s collar bone before sucking a mark into the skin above his heart. 

“Oh God, finally, Caleb finally.” Molly rocked his hips as frantically as he could, seeking any friction he could find. Caleb pulled him down into another kiss, sucking on his bottom lip before biting it. He rose, pushing Molly onto his back. He ran a hand up Molly’s leather-clad leg as he kissed him again. 

“Caleb.” Molly gasped. “Caleb please.” Caleb kissed along his jaw and sucked a mark into the skin of Molly’s neck. Molly turned his head and captured Caleb’s mouth in a heated kiss. 

“Bedroom.” Molly gasped out. “Now.” 

“Ja.” Caleb said, scrambling off of Molly. “I want to take you apart.” He pulled Molly from the couch and kissed him, walking him back into a wall. Molly hooked a leg over his hips as Caleb ground into him. 

“Fuck yes.” He was babbling. “Caleb, fuck it’s been too fucking long, please.” He kissed Caleb again. “Please, I need you.” 

Molly saying that he needed Caleb burnt the last of Caleb’s fear and uncertainty away. He pulled Molly from the wall and into the bedroom. He didn’t take his mouth from Molly’s the whole time. He couldn’t stop kissing the other man. Kissing Molly was addictive. He loved the way that Molly moved under him, the way Molly tasted, the feeling of his lips against his own. He shoved Molly down onto the bed and Molly grinned up at him. 

“Oh, my dear, you are incredible.” He spread his legs. Caleb unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor. Molly moved to his knees and ran his hands through Caleb’s chest hair before pressing a kiss to the soft skin of Caleb’s belly. He laved Caleb’s hip bones with his tongue as his hand moved to undo Caleb’s slacks. 

“No.” Caleb said. “Not that.” He said. “I…not now.” He took Molly’s hands from his belt. 

“Alright. Is it alright if I take my pants off? I’m hard as a rock and leather is very uncomfortable for that.” Molly asked. 

“Of course.”

Molly smiled at his words and leaned back and undid his pants. He peeled them down his legs and threw them into a corner, and then he was naked. 

Mollymauk Tealeaf was beautiful, willing and wanting, hard and excited, and he was waiting for Caleb. Caleb let his eyes travel over Molly’s body and he swallowed. 

“Caleb?” Molly asked. “Are you alright?” He rose on his elbows. 

“You are beautiful.” Caleb said. “I am…in awe.” He confessed. 

“That is very sweet, Caleb, but you can be in awe when you got a hand on my cock.” Molly said. Caleb knelt on the bed and kissed Molly. 

“On your side, darling.” Molly said. “It’ll make things easier.” Caleb lay on his side and Molly kissed him, threading his thigh between Caleb’s legs. Caleb kept running his hands over the miles of bare skin. Molly rocked into Caleb’s hips and they moaned in unison. 

“That’s it.” Molly gasped. “Work with me, like that, just like that. Oh God, so good, Caleb you feel so damn good.” 

They rocked their hips together, Molly rutting into Caleb’s thigh and Caleb rocking into Molly’s. He was gasping and shaking and every time he moved his cock brushed against the fabric of his boxers. 

“Molly.” He whined, throwing his head back. 

“That’s it.” Molly pressed a kiss to hollow of his throat before laving his tongue up Caleb’s neck. “That’s it darling, don’t hold back, I don’t want you to hold yourself back, give yourself to me.” He sucked into the tender flesh of Caleb’s neck and he cried out, his hands coming to grasp Molly’s hips. 

“You’re so damn beautiful.” Molly gasped. “Oh fuck look at you, Goddamn I am luckiest man the whole fucking world.” He kissed Caleb, sucking on his bottom lip. 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped. He was shaking and the fingers of his free hand came to thread into Molly’s purple curls. He tugged Molly’s head up and back and Molly moaned with it. 

“Oh fuck, I love it when my hair gets pulled, do it again.” Molly begged. “Please, pull my hair, fuck my face, tie me up, fucking use me, please Caleb.” He sobbed. Caleb bit down into the flesh of Molly’s shoulder and the other man cried out, his voice echoing through the bedroom. 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped. “I’m close.” He warned. “Oh God, oh God, OhGodohGod.” He chanted in time with the rolling of his hips. 

“Don’t hold back.” Molly said. “I want you to cum. I want you to cum for me. I want you to make a mess of yourself for me.” 

Caleb was shaking. This was more intense then he could have ever dreamed of. Here was Molly, naked, in his arms, kissing him, touching him, holding him, talking to him and the pressure in his belly was growing. 

“Molly.” He gasped. His head fell back as his movements grew frantic. “MollyMollyMollyMolly.” He unable to do anything more than chant his lover’s name over and over. 

“That’s it my love.” Molly said. “I want you to cum for me. I know you want to. Be a good boy and cum for me.” 

Molly had called him good. 

Molly had said he was good. 

That fact knocked the wind out his chest as he came. He ducked his head against Molly’s collarbone and dug his fingers into Molly’s hips as he gave in and came in his pants like a teenager. His hips were still thrusting against Molly’s in soft little gestures as Caleb gasped for breath as he came back to himself. 

“Hey, Caleb.” Molly spoke gently. “Are you with me?” He ran his hands over Caleb’s back and Caleb groaned at the touch. It had been so long since anyone had touched his back. 

“Ja.” He said. “You do not have to touch there. I know it can be repulsive.” 

Molly couldn’t see what he was touching, but he could feel it. He could feel the knotty ropes of scar tissue under his hand, under his touch. 

“Darling, it’s nothing of the sort.” He kissed Caleb gently. “I can’t get over the fact I can kiss you.” He laughed. 

“Molly, you did not - ah - you did not…erm.” Caleb glanced down to Molly’s cock. 

“Oh it’s fine.” Molly said. 

“No, it’s not.” Caleb looked Molly in the eyes and reached down and grabbed his cock. 

“Oh or you can do that you can so totally do that holy fuck yes.” Molly gasped. He fisted the sheets as Caleb ran his fingers over Molly’s cock. 

“Oh God you’re gonna explore, fuck okay, I can handle this, I can keep cool.” Molly was babbling. He was shaking with the urge to fuck up into Caleb’s fist. 

“Molly, is that metal in your dick?” Caleb asked.

“I have many piercings. It -fuck, Caleb- makes it feel better.” He gasped. 

Caleb ran his fingers up the ladder piercings to play with the stud at the head of his cock. A bead of liquid gathered at the tip and Caleb brushed it off with his thumb, making Molly swear. He brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it off. It was bitter but not unpleasant. Another bead of it appeared and swiped it with his thumb again, and again licked it. 

“Fuck, Caleb you’re gonna kill me.” Molly gasped. “I didn’t know you were a fucking tease.” 

“I am not a tease.” Caleb said. “Tease implies that I will not follow through.” He glanced up to Molly before shifting to kneel between his lover’s spread legs. His seed was growing cold in his pants, but his own comfort could wait. 

“Caleb, you don’t have to.” Molly said. He cupped Caleb’s cheek as his cock throbbed in anticipation. Another drop of pre-cum gathered on his head of his cock and Caleb glanced to it. 

“I know.” He said. “I want to.” He bent his head and licked a broad stripe up the shaft of Molly’s cock, feeling the metal under Molly’s skin. 

“Oh fuck.” Molly gasped, falling back onto the bed. He forced himself to look down at Caleb, to watch as Caleb sucked dick for the first time. 

“Cover-fuck-cover your teeth. With your lips. Use your tongue.” Molly gasped out. Caleb did just that, wringing a sob from Molly. 

“Oh fuck.” He reached down to cup the back of Caleb’s head. “Oh fuck, oh God.” 

Oh. Oh Caleb liked this. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed the feeling of Molly’s cock in his mouth, the texture of it on his tongue, the taste of Molly in his mouth, Molly’s hands in his hair, he enjoyed making Molly babble and writhe on the bed and part of him wondered what Molly’s mouth would feel like on his cock. He flicked the stud under the head with his tongue and Molly jumped. 

“Oh fuck me, keep that up and I’m gonna cum.” He warned. 

Caleb flicked it again. 

“Oh God.” Molly gasped. “You don’t have to swallow if you don’t want. I can cum on my belly or on your hand or on your face just fine.” 

Caleb kept at his, bobbing his head and hollowing his cheeks and flicking the metal with his tongue. 

“Oh God.” Molly was sobbing. “Oh fuck, oh my God, Caleb, you’re so good at this, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum, you’re gonna make me cum in your mouth, holy God I’m…..I’m…” 

Molly made sure to pull his hands away as he gave into the pleasure that was burning on his spine. Somewhere in the middle of his orgasm Caleb’s mouth vanished from his cock. He didn’t open his eyes until he was able to stop moaning Caleb's name.

Caleb was kneeling between his legs, eyes half shut, Molly’s cum dripping from his face and chin and neck as he coughed into his elbow. 

“Oh I’m sorry darling.” Molly gasped. “It’s a shock the first time. I should have warned you.” He grabbed the tissues from the bedside table and passed them to his lover. He forced himself up and grabbed one, wiping down Caleb’s face as Caleb cleaned his tongue. 

“I am sorry my dear.” Molly kissed his temple gently. “But for the record, you look stunning covered in cum.” He laughed a bit. “Did you enjoy it?” He asked. 

“Molly, yes.” Caleb said. “I did.” He then looked down at his lap and swore. “My clothes are in the car.” 

“Borrow some of mine.” Molly rose and tossed the napkins in the trash. “We’re about the same size.” He padded over naked to the drawers and opened them until he found a loose pair of gym shorts for Caleb. The sun had set during their lovemaking and he flicked on the salt lamp on the dresser he also used as a vanity. He saw Caleb strip in the mirror, muttering in German at the mess on his thighs. 

He watched in awe at the man that Caleb had become, unable to forget the man he had been. He turned and dug out his make-up wipes and started to remove all traces of cosmetics. He turned to find Caleb watching him, with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear?” Molly asked, going back to wiping mascara from his eyes. 

“I don’t think you are human.” Caleb said. 

“What?” Molly laughed, turning around. 

“I think you are some kind of angel.” Caleb sat on the bed and reached out, running his hand down Molly’s spine. Molly’s apartment was tiny, just two rooms, a kitchen nook and a tiny bathroom, so Caleb was able to touch him with ease. 

“You are some kind of angel, sent to bless me,” Caleb continued. “Perhaps then again no. You are far too devilish to be an angel. You are not a devil either, I have known demons and you are not them.” Caleb muttered. 

“A faye.” He decided on. He reached out and tugged Molly closer, pressing tiny kisses to the small of his back. “You are a faye creature. From the feywild.” He muttered. 

“Like David Bowie in Labyrinth?” Molly asked. He turned in Caleb’s arms and wiped the remainder of his cum from Caleb’s beard. 

“More like Puck.” Caleb laughed. “A trickster Being.” 

“Don’t know who that is.” Molly muttered. 

“From Shakespeare.” Caleb said. He recited the ending monologue of the play, pressing tiny kisses to Molly’s hips and lower stomach. “You are Puck. The little tricky faye who plays pranks on those around him.” 

“I like that.” Molly said. Caleb looked up at him and Molly threaded his fingers through Caleb’s hair. 

“You know, Fields kept calling you my boyfriend.” Caleb muttered. He yawned into Molly’s skin and Molly smiled softly. 

“Oh he did, did he?” 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “I stopped correcting him.” He confessed. He was so tired his head was spinning and the words were coming out like vomit. 

“Why not?” Molly asked. Caleb shrugged. 

“I guess I just got tired of lying.” 

“Did you mean that?” Molly asked. “What you just said?” 

“Ja. I will not lie. To anyone. But not to you most of all.” He took Molly’s hands and kissed them gently before yawning. 

“Let’s get to bed darling.” Molly kissed his hair. “I…ah…I need a light on. No matter what.” He confessed. “I can’t stand the dark.” 

It was like waking up in an empty hospital room, tubes in every part of his body, alone, scared, in a dark room with beeping machines around him, alone, alone, alone. 

“Neither can I.” Caleb confessed. He hated the dark, ever since he was thrown in a cage and left to rot for three whole weeks in total darkness. 

“Wonderful.” Molly threw himself onto the bed and kicked the covers down before holding out his arms for Caleb. Caleb wrapped himself around Molly and was asleep before Molly could pull the sheets over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert of gif of the butler throwing roses over the sleeping couple here*


	19. Breakfast, "Breakfast", and Conversations

Caleb woke to an empty bed. Molly’s side of the bed was cold. Caleb rose and looked out the door. 

He saw Molly, standing in front of the stove, wearing only an apron. He was singing along to the radio and giving Frumpkin bits of something he was cooking. Caleb rose silently from the bed and leaned on the couch, watching him. 

He watched the way Molly moved, sliding back and forth. He watched Molly’s smile in the reflection of the mirror. He watched as Molly took a sip of his coffee before sliding over to the toaster to push the bread down. 

He was so head over heels in love with Molly his heart hurt with it. He smiled softly to himself and Frumpkin chirped. He jumped from the counter and trotted to Caleb, tail high in the air. Molly turned and beamed at Caleb. 

“Good morning handsome.” Molly said. 

“Guten morgen, leibling.” He mumbled. He wasn’t quite awake enough for English. 

“Coffee’s on the counter.” Molly pecked his cheek and Caleb’s hand snuck out and grabbed him to keep him from turning. He kissed Molly. It started off slow and gentle, but Molly had woken something inside of Caleb. Molly’s kisses had set a fire that was raging in Caleb. 

He walked Molly back to the counter and kissed down his neck as he reached behind Molly an undid his apron. 

“Oh, someone’s in a good mood.” Molly said. Caleb sucked a mark into his neck and Molly whined. 

“Caleb, the eggs. Hold on.” He reached over and turned off the burner and moved the pan before grabbing Caleb and pulling him into a kiss. 

“There. I’m all yours.” Molly whined into Caleb’s mouth. Molly let his head fall back as Caleb kissed down his neck. He pulled the apron over Molly’s head and dropped it on the counter. 

“Molly… may I?” He dropped to his knees, the illicit thrill of knowing what he was doing was wrong making it somehow more enjoyable. 

“Oh please, don’t stop on my account.” Molly grinned. Caleb kissed across Molly’s thighs and along the shaft of his half-hard cock. He hadn’t gotten the chance to explore last night, in his own desperation to make Molly feel good. Caleb ran his tongue over the barbells and Molly whined. 

Caleb’s hand came up and he worked Molly’s cock gently. 

“That’s it darling, take your time. I know the metal can be daunting, but take your time.” Molly gasped. 

Caleb flicked his tongue over the bars one by one, making a note about which ones made Molly twitch and gasp. He was whining and tugging on Caleb’s hair by the time he flicked his tongue over the hoop at the head of his cock. 

“Oh fuck me.” Molly gasped out. Caleb popped off and kissed down the shaft of Molly’s cock. 

“In good time, mein Perle.” Caleb muttered. “I want to take my time with you this morning.” He sucked a mark into the soft skin of Molly’s lower belly. 

“Caleb.” Molly gasped. “Oh God.” 

“Good, ja?” Caleb asked. 

“Fuck yes. And you’re only gonna get better. This is only your second time ever sucking dick and fuck you’re already good.” Molly was babbling. He was gasping and shaking as Caleb explored his cock with his tongue and and hands and lips. 

Caleb watched Molly with his bright blue eyes, memorizing every little reaction. He watched Molly’s face as Molly babbled. He flicked his tongue over the metal in his mouth, tugged on the hoop with his teeth gently. He ran his free hand up and down Molly’s thighs and ribs and chest, flicking a nipple with his thumb. 

“Oh my God you’re gonna kill me.” Molly gasped out. “Oh fuck this is how I’m gonna die. You’re gonna suck the life outta my cock and I will die a happy man.”

Caleb remembered what Molly had done with the toy, a few weeks ago. He closed his eyes and lowered his mouth slowly on Molly’s cock, feeling Molly writhe under his touch. Molly was chanting under his breath, hips working in little thrusts as he babbled. One thrust caught Caleb right in the soft palate and he choked, pulling off. He coughed as Molly threaded his hands through his hair gently. 

“That’s alright darling. You won’t be able to take me into your throat, not this time.” Molly explained. “It take a lot of practice. Which, by the way, I am totally alright with.” Molly reached down and ran his thumb over Caleb’s bottom lip. 

“You are so damn beautiful with my cock in your mouth.” He cooed. Caleb ran his teeth over the pad of Molly’s thumb before flicking the hoop with his tongue. 

“Oh fuck.” Molly swore as Caleb back to work. 

He took Molly right the brink of orgasm, his eyes wide as his body tensed under Caleb’s hands and mouth and then he pulled away. 

“Oh fuck, Caleb please.” Molly sobbed. Caleb rose and kissed Molly firmly, sucking on his bottom lip. Molly hands came to the tent in the shorts and he paused, looking up at Caleb. 

“Is this alright?” He asked. Caleb swallowed and looked at Molly. He had been in control, and he was tempted to take it back, but something in him was telling him to let Molly take the lead for a bit. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. He kissed Molly again as Molly’s hands roamed over his body. Molly kissed down his jaw and laved his neck with his tongue, causing little sparks of pleasure to burn down his spine. He gasped at the feeling of teeth on his skin and Molly grabbed his ass. 

“Good to know I was right.” Molly gave his ass a firm squeeze, making Caleb gasp. 

“About?” He whined. 

“You have a perfect ass.” Molly sucked a mark into the divot between his collarbones. “And when you feel comfortable fucking my face you ass will be the perfect handhold.” Molly ran his hands up Caleb’s thighs and gently rolled the shorts down. 

Caleb gasped as his cock was freed and bobbed against his stomach. 

“Oh holy fuck.” Molly grinned. “Fuck every inch of you is beautiful.” He reached out and ran his thumb over the head of Caleb’s cock. 

“Gott im Himmel.” Caleb swore, forgetting English for a moment. He gasped, his head falling to Molly’s shoulder. His hips jerked into Molly’s touch and he gasped for breath. It was like pure fire was flooding his veins at Molly’s touch and he couldn’t stop whining. 

“You’re so beautifully responsive.” Molly gasped in awe. He took Caleb’s cock in a gentle grip and slowly ran his hand up and down. 

“Scheiße.” Caleb swore. “Bitte, Molly, bitte.” His hand came up to the cabinets to brace himself with a loud thunk as he muttered in German under his breath. 

“I take it you like it.” Molly laughed. He twisted his wrist over the head of Caleb’s cock and he cried out, twitching. 

“Ja.” Caleb gasped out, his head falling back. Molly attached his lips to Caleb’s throat, sucking a deep purple bruise into his skin. 

“Do you want me to keep going?” Molly asked. 

“Ja, bitte.” Caleb writhed. Molly spend up his hand and Caleb shuddered, a high whine escaping him. 

“I take it ‘bitte’ means please.” Molly said. Caleb nodded, unable to bring the English to his lips.

“Perle.” He kissed Molly, cupping his face. He reached down and grabbed Molly’s cock with his spare hand and matched Molly’s pace on his own. “Schön.” He watched Molly’s face contort with pleasure as he flicked the piercing with his thumb. 

“You really like that.” Molly gasped. “Can’t blame you.” Molly turned his head and kissed him. It was a frantic kiss, all teeth and tongue and spit. They were gasping into each other’s mouths, quickly bringing the other to the brink. 

“Fuck Caleb, fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck.” Molly chanted against his lover’s lip. Caleb kissed across his jaw and nipped his earlobe. 

“Du bist wie für mich gemacht, meine Perle.” Caleb snarled into his ear. 

German wasn’t a pretty language by any stretch, but something about Caleb, snarling in his ear, his voice deep and possessive, made Molly weak at the knees. 

“Yes.” Molly gasped. “Call me that again?” He begged. “Please, Caleb, please.” Caleb’s hand came to tangle in his curls and tug his head back. Caleb sucked a dark mark into Molly’s neck as his thighs started to shake under Molly’s free hand. 

“Du bist mein.” Caleb snarled before kissing Molly. Molly had no idea what the fuck Caleb was saying but it was perfect and just what he needed to cum. He cried out into the kiss, spilling over Caleb’s hand. He was shaking apart, his hand working Caleb’s cock as he forced his eyes open despite his own pleasure cresting. 

He wanted to see Caleb cum. Molly grinned and sped his hand up, biting Caleb’s bottom lip. 

“That’s it darling.” Molly said. “You were so good for me, you were to damn talented on your knees sucking my cock. Cum for me. I know you want to. Let yourself cum, take what you want.” Molly kissed him again and Caleb moaned and gave in. He cried out into Molly’s mouth, hips jerking as he came. 

Molly kissed him gently, cupping his face with his clean hand. Caleb sighed, resting his head on Molly’s shoulder. He wrapped his clean arm around Molly’s hips and held him tight. 

“Good morning, Mr. Caleb.” Molly teased. 

“Good morning, Mr. Mollymauk.” Caleb said gently. He kissed along Molly’s jaw and his lover made a content little noise. Molly turned his head and kissed him slowly and sweetly. 

“I can get used to this.” Molly said. “Kissing you like this.” He nibbled Caleb’s bottom lip and Caleb whined. “You are insatiable.” He laughed against Caleb’s mouth. 

“I am making up for lost time.” Caleb teased. 

“Apparently so.” Molly kissed him one last time before heading to the sink. He washed his hand and belly off before grabbing Caleb and cleaning him up. He pressed a kiss to the scars on Caleb’s knuckles before heading back to the stove. He turned the burner on and grabbed the eggs before starting to cook again. 

“Molly…” Caleb poured himself a cup of coffee. “I do not mean to pry, but I must know.” He doctored it up the way he liked and turned back to Molly. “How do you know it takes practice to…to..to take a -ah- to take a man into your throat?” 

“When I first started I couldn’t. I’ve sucked quite a few dicks and now I can.” He beamed over his shoulder at Caleb. 

“How many is quite a few?” Caleb asked. 

“Why do you want to know? Jealous?” Molly teased. Caleb’s face was serious. 

“Yes.” He said frankly. “I am jealous. I am….I want to know.” He said. 

“Caleb, there’s nothing for you to be worried about.” Molly laughed. 

Caleb was seething at the laughter. He felt as if he was being dismissed. Molly was so experienced in this world, and Caleb was still, technically, a virgin. Once Molly got his fill of Caleb he’d be bored. How could he hope to entertain Molly and keep him interested. 

“How many, Mollymauk?” He asked. 

“Why does it matter?” Molly put the down the pan a little more forcefully than needed and Caleb flinched, hand coming up to cover his face on instinct. Molly, with his back turned, didn’t see it. 

“I want to know. I want to know how many people I am being compared to.” He spat out. Molly turned and pointed a finger at him. 

“You do not get to throw my history at me.” He said. “Yeah, I’m a slut. So what? I’m the bicycle of Los Angeles. Everyone’s had a ride. You’re not special.” 

The moment the words fell from his lips Molly could see the hurt in Caleb’s features. 

“Now, Caleb, that’s not what I meant.” Molly said. 

“Oh?” Caleb asked, pulling himself to his full height. “How did you mean it, then? I know that I am just another notch in your bedpost, Mollymauk. I know that you don’t really care about me. How could you?” Caleb laughed. “I am a grown man who, before you, had never even been kissed. How the fuck could you, the wonderful, beautiful, fantastic Mollymauk Tealeaf, care about me?” 

“Caleb, please that’s not what I meant.” Molly could see this spiraling out of control, and fast. 

“I know you’ve fucked a lot of people Molly. Who was the last, before me?” He asked. 

“His name was Jake.” Molly confessed. 

“How long ago?” Caleb stalked forward. When he stopped slouching he was half an inch taller than Molly. 

“Three weeks ago.” Molly said. “He had me pinned to the wall of the entry and was sucking my cock.” He explained. Caleb laughed, running his hands through his hair. 

“I am just another bedwarmer for you.” Caleb said. “He was sucking you like I was.” 

“No, Caleb it wasn’t like that.” Molly said. “It wasn’t real sex with him.” 

“Oh? And what qualifies as ‘real’ sex?” Caleb asked. “I had my mouth on you not five minutes ago. Does that not count as ‘real sex’? Do I not count as a ‘real lover’?” 

“He didn’t, I mean, we didn’t, fuck why does this have to be so difficult!” Molly shouted. 

“Because you are making it difficult!” Caleb shouted back. Anger like he had never known was flowing in his veins. 

“He sucked my dick but that was it! I didn’t even get cum! Do you know why, Caleb?” Molly shouted. He stalked forward, looking Caleb in the face. “He was on his knees, my cock in his mouth, and I called him by your fucking name.” 

There was silence in the apartment, broken only by the sound of frying eggs. 

“I had a beautiful man, on his knees, my cock in his mouth, and I missed you so goddamn much I called him by your fucking name.” Molly was crying now, shaking. “I missed you so goddamn much I kicked him out, then I cried and I called Yasha and I cried. You have no goddamn idea how much I care about you.” He sobbed. “You have anything you want. Any part of me. You want my heart? Caleb, it’s already yours.” Molly was sobbing in earnest now. 

“You’ve had my heart since the moment you smiled for the first time.” Molly wiped at his cheeks. “You’re not another bed warmer. Fuck, Caleb….I….if you leave me, I doubt I’ll be able to share myself with another person, ever.” He admitted. He put his face in his hands and hunched over, hiding from the world. 

“Molly.” Caleb stepped closer and held Molly tight. “I am sorry.” He said. He wanted to make this better, to make this right. He wondered what Vex would have him say. The words came to him, as if she was standing right next to him. “I…fuck…I am not good with people or new things, and this is a new thing that involves people.” He explained. “I am still learning how to be a person. Please, Molly, forgive me?” He asked. 

“Caleb, of course.” Molly sniffled. “Just..please don’t throw my past in my face ever again, alright?” He asked. “I know I was a slut, I know I slept around, I know I’ve fucked quite a bit of people. I know. I regret some of it, to be honest. But darling, I don’t want to feel bad about enjoying myself and my body. Please don’t make me feel bad.” Molly pleaded. 

“I won’t. I just…I feel like…” Caleb swore under his breath. Molly turned and grabbed the eggs just in the nick of time. 

“Sorry, didn’t want these to burn. Go on darling.” He turned off the flame and turned back to Caleb. 

“I just…” He sighed, looking everywhere but Molly’s face. “You will get bored of me.” He muttered. “That once you have tired of the novelty of…being with me in this way you will grow bored and leave.” His voice was small and tiny. “You do not know half of what I have done. Half what I have done with my own hands. You would not like me so much if you knew.” 

“Tell me then.” Molly challenged. He cupped Caleb’s face and looked his lover dead in the eyes. “Caleb Widogast, you tell me everything, and I’ll be the judge of if I like you more or less than I do now.” 

Caleb looked at Molly, confusion in his eyes. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“Because, my love, I want to know.” He kissed Caleb gently. “I want to know why you hate yourself so much, when you are deserving of all the love in this world.” 

Caleb started to cry. He pressed his heels to hands and wiped his scruffy cheeks. 

“I will tell you the story of how I killed my mother and father.” 

Molly served breakfast but it went cold. The eggs congealed and the toast went soggy and the coffee lukewarm. They sat on the couch, and Caleb spoke, and Molly listened. Caleb told Molly everything. About being taken, about being locked in a cage, about his name being taken from him, about being named Jacob instead, about Saul and Michael, about the girls who begged for him to fuck them so they wouldn’t be whipped, of being forced to marry Lucy, of delivering children, of the measles that came and took children’s lives and left two blinded, of the bears that ate a friend alive one night on patrol, of camping on the glaciers and in the woods and in the plains while starving and cold and keeping an eye on Astrid to keep her from killing him in his sleep, of keeping a library of banned books and being thrown in the cells for it, or being thrown in the cells for refusing to sleep with unwilling women, of snakebites and wolf howls in the cold winter night of going days without food because there was none. He told Molly everything, how he had killed his family, how he tied them up, robbed them, and then left them to burn alive. He talked and talked and talked, more than he ever had, until his voice was hoarse and the sun was creeping into the living room. 

He talked until he had nothing left to say. 

Molly’s mouth was hanging open and his eyes were wide as he looked at Caleb. 

“I…ah…if I may borrow a pair of pants I will call an Uber.” He said. He was starting to cry. “You do not have to speak to me or see me ever again.” He curled into a ball. 

Molly would leave now. Molly would think him a disgusting monster, a coward, a murderer, someone who needs to be locked up and kept away from the normal people, someone who is not deserving of kindness or love or hope. 

“Oh Caleb.” Molly said. “You’re the bravest man I’ve ever met.” Molly pulled him into a hug. “You’re so brave for living.” Molly kissed his hair. “It’s alright to cry, darling. After all you’ve survived you deserve it.” 

Caleb collapsed. He turned into Molly and pressed his head into his lover’s chest, crying. Molly pulled him into his lap, kissing the tears from his cheeks as they fell. They stayed like that for a while, Molly kissing Caleb’s cheeks and rocking him, speaking nonsense to soothe his lover. Caleb cried until his eyes were gritty and his chest was hurting and his hands were shaking. 

“Hey there.” Molly said gently. “You with me?” He cupped Caleb’s cheek gently. Caleb nodded, sitting up. 

“I am sorry.” He said. 

“Don’t be.” Molly said gently. “Darling, I had no idea what you’ve lived through. Thank you for telling me.” 

Molly meant it. He was thankful that Caleb had confided in him, that he had told him his past, and all the things that scarred him in it. He was thankful that Caleb had finally bared the fragile bits of his soul to him. 

“Thank you trusting me.” Molly said. 

“What about you?” Caleb asked. “Is there anything I need to know?” He turned to Molly. Molly shot him a sad smile. 

“There’s not much more to know.” He confessed. “I lost my memory, ended up at the Cafe, and ended up here, leaving behind a string of satisfied lovers but no real relationships.” 

“So…what we have is…” Caleb struggled to find the words. 

“A first for me too.” He reached out and took Caleb’s hands in his. He pressed a kiss to his knuckles and then to his palms. “You know, now I understand why you said there’s things I need to know before you fuck me.” Molly said. 

“There is….” Caleb sighed. “Some trauma there.” 

“Some?” Molly laughed. “Caleb, you were forced to castrate a gay man, being a gay man yourself. Darling, that’s horrific.” He said. “So yes, I understand. And if you never want to penetrate me, that’s fine. We can have what we have now.” 

“I….” Caleb licked his dry lips. “I would like to, one day.” He confessed. “We just-ah….” 

“Have to work up to it.” Molly provided. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “We shall.” 

“Hey,” Molly said. “What if you watch me finger myself first?” Molly suggested. “As like a way to warm up to the big event?” 

Caleb felt his pulse race and his blood get hot. 

“I-ah-I like the sound of that.” He admitted softly. 

“Wonderful.” Molly kissed the corner of his mouth. “Feeling better?” He asked softly. He ran his hand down Caleb’s spine and kissed him gently. 

“Ja.” He said. “You?” 

Molly made a happy noise as he kissed Caleb gently. “Right as rain.” 

Molly found he really loved kissing Caleb. He loved the way the other man’s mouth felt against his own, the way his beard tickled his skin, the way he opened up under Molly’s hands. He could spend hours kissing Caleb. 

“I like the beard, by the way.” He said. “It looks good on you.” 

Caleb smiled softly. “Thank you, Mollymauk.” 

“Are you ready to go? I know the others miss you.” Molly kissed him again. 

“No.” Caleb confessed. “I do not want to go because we cannot be affectionate there.” 

“Why not?” Molly asked. “The others are affectionate with their lovers. They won’t care.” He pointed out. 

“Are you sure?” Caleb asked. “They will not use this,” he waved his hand between them, “to hurt either of us?” 

“Darling, no.” Molly cupped Caleb’s cheeks. “The people are the Cafe are family. They can be horrid and loud and annoying and intrusive, yes, but that’s what family does.” He said. “They annoy the shit out of you, but love you nonetheless. They won’t use this to hurt you.” Molly kissed him gently. 

“I am trusting you here.” Caleb said. He thought Molly was wrong, that they would end up finding ways to use this against them. He wasn’t sure if it was true or just his trauma talking. 

“Good. Trust is good.” Molly kissed him again. “Let’s get dressed and get going.” He stood and padded into the bedroom before tossing Caleb a pair of pants. “I don’t own underwear, so you’re gonna have to go commando!” He called out. 

Caleb laughed. 

 

Caleb glanced up to the new camera as he stepped into the Cafe and hovered near the door, taking it in. There was Fjord, taking orders at drive-thru, Jester was bright and bubbly on register, Nott was making the drinks for front as Yasha made them for drive and Beau was in the back as needed to grab things. It was slow, and the Cafe was calm. It smelled like coffee and steamed milk and sugar and a wave of some unknown emotion crashed into Caleb. He didn’t know quite what he was feeling, but he knew he was glad to be back. He was glad to be home. 

“CALEB!” Jester shrieked. She ran around the counter and tackled him in a strong hug. “WE MISSED YOU! YOU’RE BACK!” She jumped and down as she hugged him and Caleb wheezed as the air was squeezed from him. 

“Jester, darlin’ let the man breathe.” Fjord laughed. Beau limped over and punched Caleb in shoulder as Jester let him go. 

“Good to see you man.” She said. 

“And you as well, Beauregard.” He said gently. Nott wormed her way in and wrapped her arms around Caleb and held him tight. He had missed her the most. 

“Hallo Nott.” He held her close. He had missed these people. 

“Caleb, are those Molly’s pants?” Jester asked, grinning. 

Then again, maybe not. 

“Um, yes?” He asked. “I got-um-ah-a-um-a stain on mine last night and I had to borrow a pair of Molly’s.” They were a deep wine red and tight across his ass and down his legs. There was no doubt they were Molly’s. 

“What kind of stain?” She asked, grinning like mad. 

“Jester, let the man be.” Fjord walked over. “Sorry folks, we’re closin’ for the day. We’ll take your orders and then shut down. Family’s arrived.” He told the customers as he dragged Jester back to the register. 

Molly huffed as he dragged in Caleb’s luggage. 

“Jesus fuck Caleb, what’s in here!” He whined. 

“Books, mostly.” Caleb confessed. “And I brought you all something.” He said. 

Jester gasped and her big brown eyes went wide. “You brought us _presents?_ ” Sound for all the world like a child on their birthday. 

“Yes. I brought you all gifts.” He said. She squealed with delight and he smiled softly. 

“And I got a Caleb smile!” She laughed. “Today is the best day!” 

It didn’t take them long to shut down the cafe. Jester had to bring up his luggage, Molly huffing and puffing and ending up unable to bring it up. She teased him mercilessly the whole time and Caleb found he had truly missed their bickering. 

In under half an hour Caleb had a cup of tea, a plate of food and he was passing out the gifts as his luggage lay open on the kitchen table. He had struggled to find gifts that they would all like, and in the end he had done well. Jester was holding her little bear as Fjord thumbed through the book he had gotten him. Yasha had loved the crystal wind chime and he had gotten Nott a bag of money from the mint. He had gotten Beau a low cut tanktop in soft blues that contrasted sharply with the shirt he had gotten for Molly. It was as if someone had taken a shirt and had tie-dyed it with highlighter ink and thrown the ugliest picture on it, and wrote in Comic Sans on it. It was horrible, bright, loud, and ugly, and Molly loved it. 

“Molly, one more thing.” Caleb reached into a pocket of his luggage and found the choker. “Here.” He passed it to him. 

“Caleb this is beautiful.” Molly said with a soft smile. 

“It is for luck.” He said. “The hand is the hand of God, for protection, and the bead keeps the evil eye away.” 

“Will you do the honors?” Molly asked turning around and passing the necklace to Caleb. He took the choker and gently fastened it around Molly’s neck. He took a moment to press a kiss to the back of Molly’s neck while the others were distracted. 

Molly turned and showed off the choker as Caleb shut the suitcase. He dragged it into his room and froze. 

There, in the screen in his window, was a slit. It was cut, blowing slightly in the Los Angeles breeze. He dropped the suitcase with a bang and slowly walked forward. He reached down and ran his fingers over the cut. 

He paused, and turned. He took in his room, eyes roaming over everything. He saw nothing out of place, nothing unusual. He turned slowly, slowly, slowly, watching for anything. 

There was nothing. 

“Caleb?” Molly called out. 

Caleb walked into the main room and paused. 

“Jester, why is my screen cut?” He asked. The others turned to him. 

“What?” She asked. 

“Why is my screen cut?” He asked. They all shared a look and glanced toward him.

“What are you not telling me?” He asked, moving closer. 

“Now, Caleb, don’t panic, but there was….an incident or two.” Jester said, holding out her hands. 

“What do you mean, incident?” His voice was low and fear was blooming in his gut. 

“Two weeks ago.” Beau spoke. “I woke up and there was a fucking lady with a knife standing over me.” 

“What did she look like? What kind of knife was it?” Caleb asked. “Did she wear a mask?” He knew Astrid’s modus operandi. “Was it a hunting knife?” 

“How did you know it was a hunting knife?” Beau asked, rising to her feet. Caleb covered his mouth as fear recoiled hard in his gut. He rushed to the kitchen and vomited into the sink, shaking with fear. 

“It’s her.” He muttered. He washed his mouth out and spit into the sink. He vomited again, unable to keep the fear reaction at bay. 

Oh God, she had found him. 

She had found them. 

They were all going to die. 

“Who is she?” Beau asked. Caleb ignored her in favor of heading to the windows. He shut them all and locked them, before drawing all of the curtains, encasing them darkness. 

He knew she was watching, he knew how she thought, how she worked, how she played. He knew Astrid better than he knew anyone. 

“She is watching.” He said. “I do not know where she is, but she is here, and has been for a while if she comfortable enough to…oh God she broke in.” He started to panic, pacing the living room. He whined like a dog in a cage, gripping his hair tight as he shook. 

Astrid lowered her binoculars. 

“He’s back and he knows we’re here.” She told her husband. 

“Good.” He said. “Get back to bed. I want you again.” 

“Caleb, what’s wrong?” Nott asked. 

“She found me.” He was shaking and the bile was rising in his gut again. 

“Who is she?” Molly asked. He grabbed Caleb gently by the arms. “Talk to me love.” 

“Her name….” He took a shaky breath. “Her name is Astrid.” 

Yasha swore as Molly’s eyes went wide. 

“Woman, about your age, red hair, green eyes, freckles, tanned skin, with no light behind the eyes?” Molly asked. Caleb nodded. 

“Fuck.” Beau rose and paced like an animal. 

“How do you know?” Caleb asked. 

“I took their order nearly a month ago. Just after you left.” He said. “I…there was something off about her, about them both.” 

“Wulf.” Caleb’s knees gave out and Molly guided him to a chair. “Of course he would be here.” He put his head in his hands. “This is good. This is good. He keeps her in check.” He said. “If not for him you all would be dead.” 

Caleb’s voice had a quiet certainty about it, the kind that was reserved for facts of a person’s soul. The kind that was reserved for the sky being blue and for dogs being good. It drove a cold spike of fear into Beau’s heart. 

“So, when she was standing over me?” She asked. 

“She was going to kill you.” Caleb said. “She likes to kill with a knife. It’s more personal to her, that way. If she really hates you, she strangles you. And why didn’t you all tell me?” He asked. 

“You were away.” Nott said. 

“I would have come back!” Caleb protested. 

“That’s why.” Molly said. 

“You…..” Caleb turned to Molly, hurt on his face. “You knew?” He asked. 

“Yes.” Molly rose to his feet. “I knew, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to keep this from you.” 

“You lied to me?” Caleb asked. Tears sprung into Molly’s eyes as desperation clawed as his throat. “You kept this from me? After last night? This morning? You lied to to me?” 

“No, darling, never.” Molly reached out to grab his hand and Caleb pulled away. That caused a spike of pain to leach into Molly’s heart. Caleb had never pulled away from him, not ever. “I told you there was something I couldn’t tell you and I asked you not to press, remember?” He begged. “Please, Caleb, darling, my love, I never lied to you.” 

“A lie by omission is still a lie.” Caleb said. 

“Caleb, I didn’t want to risk you having a panic attack.” Molly stated gently. “Not when I can’t be there to help calm you down.” 

“Did it ever occur to any of you that I know how she thinks?” Caleb turned to them. “That I know what she will do, because I was her training partner?” He asked, his voice soft and shaking with anger. “Did it ever occur to any of you that I may know how to keep you all safe?” 

There was silence. 

“Or did you all just think that I am nothing but a bag of broken glass?” He was crying now. “Do you all think that I am that fragile? That I will crumble to dust at the first hint of pressure?” 

“Caleb, dude, back off.” Beau said. 

“No, Beauregard. I will not.” Caleb turned to her. 

“She was standing over me with a knife.” Beau pointed out. 

“And I can tell you how to keep that from happening again! If you all just trusted me to be an adult for two fucking minutes!” He turned to them. 

“Caleb.” Molly said. He was crying and he wiped at his cheeks. Today had been a roller-coaster of emotions and he just wanted to cuddle his boyfriend. “I am sorry.” 

“He did try to speak up.” Yasha said. 

“He was crazy angry that we were keeping this from you.” Jester said. “And like, I know it was a bad thing but honestly Caleb we were worried and scared for you!” 

“Yeah dude, like you have gotten better but we didn’t know if you were that much better, you know?” Beau pointed out. 

“Caleb, I’m sorry we lied to you.” Fjord muttered. “That ain’t right.” 

“Caleb, please just listen to us.” Nott said. She walked over to Caleb and looked up at him. “Don’t blame them. It was my idea.” She said. “I’m just trying to keep you safe.” 

“By keeping this from me.” Caleb said. “Good God Nott, none of you know how close to death you came, do you?” 

Molly’s knees gave out at his words. They were really in danger here. 

“We need to go. All of us. We need to scatter. They are after me.” Caleb said. Molly looked up at Caleb, gray eyes wide in confusion. “I need to leave. We need to leave.” He moved to head into his room when Molly grabbed his hand. 

“No.” He muttered. He tugged Caleb closer. 

“Molly, it isn’t safe here.” Caleb said. The anger had faded at his little found family’s words, and cold terror replaced it. 

“Stay.” Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb and pressed his head to his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Please don’t leave me.” His voice was tiny and his shoulders were hunched in and he was so scared of Caleb leaving him alone he didn’t know what to say. 

“Molly, we are in danger.” He said. 

“Are we?” Beau asked. “We got me, and we have Vax. He’s back.” She said. 

“And Vex is the best shot I’ve ever met.” Fjord said. 

“Plus that man she was with is a weapons manufacturer.” Yasha said. “What was his name again?” 

“De Rolo.” Beau said. “Percivical Von Something Something De Rolo Grand Poobah De Doink.” She made a face. “Why does he have so many names?”

“De Rolo?” Caleb asked. “As in De Rolo Industries?” 

“The very same.” Yasha said. 

“Percival De Grand Torino runs that gun company.” Fjord said, making Beau snort at his name. 

“He can supply us with what Vax can’t.” Beau said. “Caleb, this is as safe as it’s gonna get.” 

“I can replace your screen.” Nott offered. “So Frumpkin won’t get out.” 

“Thank you Nott.” Caleb sighed, and curled around Molly protectively. “We have to cancel the party.” He said. 

“No way!” Jester turned to him. “Firstly, I have worked way to hard on this to cancel it, secondly Vax has been looking forward to this for a long time, thirdly my mother is very excited to host something happy here and I cannot let my mother down, fourthly the cake is already made and it is going to be _sooo tasty you guys_ and fifthly I will not allow that bitch to make us scared!” She stamped her foot. 

“So that’s that!” Jester said with a flick of her curls. 

“I could use a fucking party.” Beau grumbled. 

“Amen to that.” Fjord sighed. 

“So it is settled then!” Jester clapped her hands. “The party is still on! Four days from now!” She turned in a circle, jumping up and down.


	20. Parties and First Times

Caleb shifted on his feet. He hadn’t been allowed on the rooftop for a few hours, per Jester’s order. She was taking this party very seriously. It had been four days and Caleb felt like he had reached his breaking point. 

He had called Winters and Fields and they had sent out some people from the LA field office, but they had been cold and dismissive of Caleb’s worry. He hadn’t been sleeping much, and he was loosing weight again. 

He hadn’t had much time to calm down, since he had been back. He was terrified all the time. When he did get to sleep, he had nightmares. He jumped at loud noises and walked with his back to the wall like when he had first arrived. It had been four days of hell. 

It had also been four days since he had last seen Molly. Molly was busy catching up with his tarot readings, so he hadn’t had the time to drop by the Cafe like he usually did. They talked on the phone but it wasn’t the same. 

Caleb found himself missing Molly, missing his touch and his laugh and his free, easy kisses. He sighed, rubbing the pendant over his mouth. He blinked and looked down, making a mental note to give Molly back his necklace when he saw him tonight. Caleb paced again, past the shuttered windows and around the couch. He was full of a nervous energy he couldn’t quite shake. 

“Caleb, dude, you will wear a fucking hole in the floor.” Beau threw herself onto the couch. They had shut down early for the party, and she was in her free time clothing; leggings, a sports bra, a low cut tanktop and bare feet. “Stop pacing.” 

“I cannot help it.” He muttered. “This is bad idea.” He said. “She will use this to her advantage.” 

“So you’ve said.” Beau said. 

“A few times.” Nott replied. “Honestly, Caleb, let’s think about this.” She said. She turned to look at him. “Vex and Vax will be here. They are both very good shots. Also, she will bring Trinket, who is better than an alarm system. Also, that De Rolo guy brings a gun with him everywhere. He’s licensed and everything.” Nott said. “In between those four, Beau and Fjord, we have plenty of firepower and in-between myself and Trinket it’s gonna be hard to sneak in.” 

Caleb found her logic soothing and the anxiety that had been plaguing him started to abate. 

“Ja, ja, you are right.” He mumbled. He sat on the love seat and sighed, dropping his head into his hands. 

“Dude, I’m with you on this.” Beau said. “She snuck up on me. Nobody has been able to sneak up on me. Ever.” She was still shaken by that. “But tonight is a party. We’re gonna drink, we’re gonna get high, we’re gonna have fun.” She said. “Fuck I need this.” 

“I have never really been to a party.” Caleb said with a tiny laugh. 

“Come on, you must have had some kind of party thing at the crazy ass cult you lived in.” Beau muttered. 

“There…was something.” Caleb admitted. 

“Care to tell us?” Nott asked. 

“A harvest feast.” He said. “Once a year, when the harvest was done, and the salting and smoked and pickling was done, we gorged ourselves. It was the one day a year Trent allowed us to have any excesses.” He said with a fond smile. “It was a good day.” 

The tables had been laden with food, with fresh fruits and vegetables from the fall harvest and meat fresh from the slaughter house and there may have no been music or dancing or laughter, but by God they had fun.

“So it wasn’t all bad?” Beau muttered. 

“No. There were good times. I’m sure you had some as well, overseas.” He said. 

“Yeah.” Beau laughed. “Have I told you about the time I put a camel spider in Vax’s boots?” 

“No.” Caleb said. 

“I love this story!” Nott said, turning to Beau. The Asian woman than launched into a story about her time with Vax as her commanding officer, a three week mission deep in the Iraqi desert, and the animal in question.

“And he didn’t realize it was in his boot until his foot was in it!” She crowed with laughter. Nott was wheezing and Caleb was laughing as well. 

“Yeah I got like, three weeks of latrine duty but it was so worth it.” Beau laughed. 

“Who had latrine duty?” Molly asked as he entered the room. 

Caleb’s whole face changed as soon as he saw Molly. He brightened up and relaxed at the same time, a tiny smile playing over his face as the tension in his body vanished. 

“Hello there handsome. Long time no see.” Molly flirted, walking over to Caleb. 

“Hallo Mollymauk.” Caleb said gently. Molly sat on the edge of the loveseat and Caleb rested his forehead against Molly’s ribs, and his lover’s hand came to card through his hair. Caleb’s eyes fluttered shut as Beau made a gross noise in her throat. 

“I’m going away. I don’t wanna see this.” Beau stuck out her tongue. 

“Well, Beau, when two adults love each other very much-” Molly started to say and laughed when Beau threw a pillow at him. 

“Don’t ‘adult’ me. You’re two!” Beau pointed out. 

“And I am still more mature than you.” Molly cackled as Beau left the room. 

“Molly, I’m glad you’re here.” Nott said, turning to him. Something about her body language spoke of control. Like she was in charge here, and Molly was the employee. “I need to tell you something.” 

“What is it, little Nott?” Molly asked. 

“If you hurt him I’ll hurt you.” Nott said. “If you hurt him, I will never forgive you.” 

“Nott,” Molly said. “If I hurt him, I will never forgive myself.” His voice was level and sincere in the way that let Caleb know Molly was being honest and genuine. 

“Good.” She said. “Now, I’ll see you two at the party.” She slid off the couch and headed up to the roof. The door shut and Caleb sighed, leaning into Molly. He bent down and kissed the top of Caleb’s head. 

“I missed you.” Molly said. 

“I missed you as well, Mollymauk.” Caleb looked up and captured Molly’s mouth in a slow, soft kiss. Molly made a happy noise and kissed him gently, running his tongue over Caleb’s bottom lip. Caleb opened his mouth to Molly and he groaned gently. Molly moved, not breaking the kiss, to straddle Caleb in the chair. Caleb cupped Molly’s face with one hand as his arm wrapped around Molly’s hips to pull him tight. 

“Hi there.” Molly gasped, pulling away to breathe. Caleb let his head fall forward to rest against his lover’s chest. Molly’s hands came up to tangle in his hair as he held Caleb tight. 

“You’re really worried about this, aren’t you my darling?” Molly muttered. 

“She is evil.” Caleb said. “I do not use the word lightly, having seen much in this world. But Astrid? She is evil.” He spoke softly. “I am terrified about what she might do tonight.” 

“We’ll tackle that when we come to it.” Molly said. He kissed Caleb’s hair and held him close. 

He had been parted from Caleb for four whole days, and each day had felt like an eternity of torture. He had spoken to Caleb on the phone each night but he wanted Caleb in his arms. And now, at last, Caleb was here. He didn’t grind down or wriggle his hips or be a brat in any way. He just rested his body against Caleb’s, breathing him in and holding him close. 

“I missed you.” Caleb confessed. God, he loved Molly so much his heart felt like it was going to burst in his chest. He felt like would gag with it, the love in his stomach. 

“I missed you too, my love.” Molly said. He buried his face in Caleb’s hair, knowing he needed to confess his love. 

But not now. Not when Caleb was on the breaking point. Not with the woman in the doll mask coming after them. His feelings could wait. He had to make sure Caleb was alright. 

“Oh. Before I forget.” Caleb pulled back and dug into his shirt and he took off the pendant. “Here. It is yours.” He said, offering it to Molly. Oddly enough, he felt naked without it. 

“No, he’s yours now.” Molly said. “Those pendants have their own little energies, you see? Jude is yours now.” 

“I am not Catholic, Molly.” Caleb pointed out. 

“And I’m a bad one.” Molly laughed. “I want you to have it.” He kissed Caleb’s nose gently before closing Caleb’s hands around the necklace. “Besides,” Molly said. “I got this.” He pulled down his shirt to show off the choker with the hamsa on it. 

There was the scrabble of claws on the tile and Trinket appeared in the doorway. He gave a tiny huff and padded over to Molly and Caleb before inserting himself into the scene. 

“Hello buddy.” Molly laughed as Trinket crawled into Caleb’s lap, pushing Molly to the floor. 

“Hallo Trinket.” Caleb said as Molly smiled up at him. 

“Caleb, darling, it is so good to see you!” Vex beamed as she entered the dorms. 

“Vex’ahlia.” Caleb smiled at her, a big, broad, thousand watt smile. “It is good to see you.” 

Vex paused, glancing between Caleb and Molly. 

“I have never you smile like that.” She said. 

“I am getting better, then.” Caleb pointed out. 

“True true.” She said. “Percy and the others are going to be here in a bit. They’re getting pastries from that bakery with the guava pastries.” 

“Oh fuck yes, make sure they get extra. I brought so much weed tonight.” Molly laughed. 

“I’ll text them now. Be safe you two.” She winked at them. “Trinket, to me.” She patted her thigh as she headed to the roof. The big dog gave Caleb one last kiss before following his mistress up the steps. 

 

The sun had set and the night was warm and balmy. Music was thumping and Caleb was sitting on the edge of the roof, watching his friendly silently. Fjord and Jester were dancing, Yasha and Grog were standing like massive sentinels in the dark, Vex and the woman named Keyleth were dancing, Beau and Molly and Scanlan and Shaun were doing something with a glass contraption, a torch, and metal stick that looked dangerous, while Vax and Nott were deep in conversation. 

“You must be Caleb.” A soft voice said to his left. He turned and was greeted with the sight of the white-haired man that had come in with Vax and his little group. 

“Ja, I am.” He said. 

“I’m Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the third, Lord of Whitestone.” He said. Caleb blinked at the name that was longer than the man was tall. 

“You can call me Percy.” He said, holding out a hand. 

“Ah, hallo.” Caleb shook his hand. 

_“So Vex tells me that you like to read.”_ Percy said, in perfect German. Caleb turned, mouth falling open in shock. 

_“Yes, I do. I’m sorry, forgive me, but it’s been a very long time since I’ve…since I’ve spoken German with anyone.”_ His mother tongue was stilted and harsh, like an car that hadn’t been turned on in a long time. 

_“Well, good thing I happen to be fluent.”_ Percy said. _“I learned as a child. My whole family did.”_

Caleb blinked and was surprised to find tears in his eyes. He sniffed and wiped them away. 

_“The last people I spoke German too were my parents, before they died. Before I was taken.”_ Caleb confessed. 

_“That is a shame. It is your mother tongue.”_ Percy said. 

_“Yes, it is.”_ Caleb said. He and Percy quickly found common ground, falling deep into a discussion about books and authors in German. Speaking his native language soothed an ache in his heart that been hurting for so long that Caleb had become unaware of it. It was a chronic hurt, an aching joint in his soul, and speaking German with Percy eased it. He was smiling and laughing softly as he debated with the Englishman as they sat on the edge of the rooftop. 

“Caleb!” Molly said, throwing his arms around him. “Percy isn’t trying to steal you from me, is he?” He asked dramatically. 

“Nothing of the sort, Mollymauk.” Percy said primly. 

“We are talking books, schatz.” Caleb said, dropping the endearment without thinking. 

“Oh dear, he really is trying to seduce you.” Molly laughed. He threw his arm around Caleb and leaned into his body. 

“Molly, really.” Caleb said, trying to explain. 

“I’m teasing you, darling.” Molly kissed his cheek gently. “You can flirt with other men if you like, you’re not tied to me. Just be careful with Percy here, Vex has him in her sights.” 

Caleb turned to Percy. _“Is that so, my friend?”_

A very faint blush darkened Percy’s cheekbones. 

_“She is a very entrancing woman.”_ The Englishman confessed. Caleb smiled softly, laughing under his breath.

“What’s so funny?” Molly asked, handing Caleb a fresh beer. He put his lover’s empty bottle down next to the other two that Caleb had finished. 

“He is smitten.” Caleb admitted. 

“I am not the one that dropped the term ‘treasure’ while talking to a friend.” Percy raised an eyebrow. Molly turned to Caleb who took a sip of his beer. 

“I like it.” Molly said. He kissed Caleb’s cheek as Vex called out for Percy. “Come on, Lord Percy, your lady awaits.” Molly laughed, grabbing Percy by the wrist and dragging him away. 

Caleb watched as Vex dragged Percy onto the dance floor. They moved well together, once Percy stopped being so stiff. He sat on the wall and his eyes drifted to Molly, who was dancing by himself. 

He moved constantly, his body flowing with the music like water. The synth was blaring and there was some rock star that Caleb didn’t know but the others did and they were all singing along to the song. He watched as Molly sang, dancing with Keyleth. He watched as Molly spun her around, and she cackled with joy. Molly locked eyes with Caleb and dancing back, moving his hips as he sang along. 

“So can’t you see me here I got my back against the record machine….” Molly sang as he looked Caleb in the face. Caleb was unable to look away until Keyleth span Molly about, breaking their gaze. 

Molly was flushed and smiling, grinning as he danced. His hips were moving, showing off the tight jeans that clung to his ass. Caleb found himself entranced, unable to stop watching. 

“He does move beautifully, doesn’t he?” A voice to his left said. Caleb glanced and saw the beautiful dark-haired man from Vex’s phone. 

“Ah, ja.” Caleb stammered out. “He does.” 

“I’m Vax’ildan. Pleasure to finally meet you.” Vax held out a hand and Caleb shook it gently. 

“You are him. Vex’s brother.” Caleb said. 

“Yes, I am.” Vax shot him a dashing grin that had Caleb blushing and averting his gaze. He couldn’t help but remember the pictures of Vax kissing other men. 

“I saw you, at the Smithsonian. Well, a photograph of a photograph of you.” He babbled. “Am I making sense?” 

“Yes. I’m surprised they picked that one. I’m surprised that our selfie was in there at all.” He laughed. “That was taken the day I left for my last tour.” 

“It must be hard, being separated from them.” Caleb mused. He was a little drunk, and his mouth was starting to run. “I was away from Molly for a month and it felt like I was being torn in two. How do you do it?” He asked. 

“We talk.” Vax said with a shrug. “They’re worth it.” He smiled. “Vex told me about your relationship with Molly.” 

“It is not a relationship.” Caleb said with a tiny laugh. 

“Really?” Vax asked gently. “Because that man has never stayed with anyone longer than two weeks. Myself included.” He pointed to Molly. “He has been yours for over a month. Closer to two, if he’s telling the tale. Caleb, he’s in love.” Vax pointed out. 

“Nonsense. Molly is a good man, ja, and I am lucky to count him as a friend, but he does….he can’t…” He shook his head. 

“Vex also told me that you have some trauma concerning men being together. She hasn’t told me what, but she did ask me to talk to you.” Vax pointed out. 

“Ah.” Caleb replied. “It’s…I think that I am-ah-not exactly getting over it, but coming to terms?” He asked. 

“Good.” Vax took a pull of his beer and Caleb found his own was empty. “You know there’s a lot of us.” He pointed out. “And you know it’s alright. It’s normal.” 

“I know, I know.” Caleb sighed. “I just….” He grimaced, running his hand through his hair. 

“Feel awkward?” Vax said. Caleb nodded. “You know, Vex and I are very similar in that we always knew we liked both. We didn’t have the traditional coming out narrative that so many have had. I don’t know if I should feel cheated or grateful, but hearing others’ stories is a bit heartbreaking.” He turned to Caleb. “You have a loving family here. Vex was all I had, for a long time, and then I built my own little family. You have as well. Cherish them, Caleb.” 

“I do.” Caleb said softly. “This world is so different.” He muttered. 

“Yes. But you know, I think Molly would be more than happy to show it to you.” Vax said. 

“Alright, first Percy tries to steal my boyfriend and now you? This isn’t fair, Vax. You have two already!” Molly laughed, sticking his tongue out. 

Boyfriend? 

Did Molly just….

Did Molly just call Caleb his boyfriend? 

“Dance with me!” Molly grabbed Caleb by the hand and tugged him upright. 

“Ah, Molly.” Caleb protested. 

“Please? I want to dance with you.” Molly stepped into his arms and cupped his face with the hand that wasn’t holding a lit joint. 

“Caleb, dance with me?” Molly asked. 

Oh, how could he deny Molly anything? Molly could ask Caleb to cut out his heart, to claw his own eyes out, to rip his tongue out at the root, and Caleb would do it. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. Molly beamed with joy and kissed the corner of Caleb’s mouth gently. Caleb watched Molly in awe as he tugged on Caleb’s arm, leading him to the dancing group. 

“I do not know what to do.” Caleb confessed. 

“It’s alright. Let yourself move with the beat.” Molly said. He leaned in close, letting his mouth trail over Caleb’s ear. 

The music had changed and it was a new song, modern and full of electronic music. The lyrics were in Spanish and Caleb didn’t understand a thing. 

“What is he saying, Molly?” He asked, letting Molly move his body with the beat. 

Molly grinned, raising an eyebrow. 

“They’re filthy. Do you really wanna know?” He asked. 

“Yes, Molly.” Caleb said. “I dislike being left out of the loop.” 

Molly pressed his lips to Caleb ear, the motion bringing their bodies in full contact. 

“Slowly. I want to breathe in your neck slowly, let me murmur things in your ear, so that you remember if you’re not with me. Slowly, I want to undress you in kisses slowly, firmly in the walls of your labyrinth and of your body, I want to create a manuscript. Up, up, up, up, up. I want to see your hair dance. I want to be your rhythm, want you to show my mouth your favorite places, let me trespass your danger zones, until I make you scream, and you forget your last name.” 

Molly’s rich tenor translated the Spanish in Caleb’s ear, sending shocks of want down his spine. Caleb’s hands came to Molly’s hips to work with him. He half-hard already and he found Molly’s words were just stoking the flames. 

“That is-ah-quite the song.” He muttered. 

“It’s about a dude seducing the person he wants to fuck.” Molly said. “Is it working?” He asked. He trailed his nose along Caleb’s jaw, and Caleb’s hand gripped Molly’s hips tightly as his head fell back. 

“I-ah-I think it is.” He gasped out. 

“So I have a good chance of seducing you tonight?” Molly asked, grinning at Caleb. 

Perhaps it was the beer, perhaps it was the laughter, perhaps it was the fact that Caleb was a bit tipsy, but he shot Molly a wicked grin and moved his hands to cup Molly’s ass. 

Molly lifted an eyebrow and glanced around. Everyone was doing something; dancing or singing or drinking or eating. Nobody was paying them any attention. Molly snuffed out his joint and dug a little tube from his pocket. He dropped it in and sealed the plastic before grabbing Caleb’s hand and led him to the stairs. 

The door shut behind them and Molly laughed, pulling his lover down the steps. 

“Molly, where are we going?” Caleb asked. Molly turned and kissed him, wrapping his arms around him. 

“I was thinking your bedroom.” Molly said. “Darling, it’s been four days since I’ve had you last and I ache for you.” 

Caleb’s eyes went dark and he kissed Molly fiercely, pinning him to the wall. 

“I want you to finger me. Please, I need something inside of me.” Molly begged, arching his back. “If you’re not comfortable with it, I’ll finger myself and you can watch. I just…fuck Caleb I need something inside of me while being on top of you.” 

Caleb’s eyes went dark as Molly spoke. 

“I do not know if I am alright with…ah..touching you, but I am more than happy to watch.” He kissed Molly again. Molly whined into his mouth, threading his hands into his boyfriend’s hair. 

“God I missed you.” Molly gasped as they pulled away. 

“I missed you as well.” Caleb confessed. 

“Four days is too long to not have that talented mouth of yours on my cock.” Molly confessed. Caleb rolled his hips against Molly’s and he gasped. 

“Please, Caleb, please.” Molly started to beg. “Let me suck you tonight. Please?” 

“I don’t know.” Caleb teased. He kissed down Molly’s jaw and his lover whined. “I am still angry with you for keeping Astrid from me.” 

“Caleb, I am sorry.” Molly said. “I wanted to tell you, but I made a promise.” 

“I know.” Caleb cupped his cheek, kissing him gently. The fire to fuck and to bite and to claim was cooling in his blood, replaced with something tender and sweet. “I am no longer angry, in truth. I was teasing you, schatz.” He kissed Molly again, and his lover wrapped his arms around his hips and held him. 

“Good.” Molly said. “I don’t like it when you’re angry with me.” He kissed Caleb, sucking on his bottom lip. Caleb whined at the kiss and Molly rocked his hips. 

“Fuck, Molly.” Caleb gasped. 

“That’s the idea, darling.” He grinned. “Bedroom. Now.” 

Caleb pulled away and tugged Molly into the bedroom, kissing him as the door shut. 

Neither of them had noticed the open window, or the cut screen fluttering in the wind. 

“Caleb,” Molly sat on the bed. “How do you want to do this?” He asked. “It’s up to you.” 

“How do you mean?” Caleb asked, stepping closer. 

“Do you want me on my knees? Do you want me sitting on the bed while you stand? Do you want to lie down while I suck your cock?” Molly asked. “Do you want your hands in my hair as you fuck me face?” He pushed Caleb’s shirt up and kissed the soft skin of his lower belly. 

“I….” Caleb took a steady breath. “Not on your knees.” He knew the sight of Molly on his knees would be a bad one. When people went on their knees it was to beg for their life. He didn’t want to see Molly like that. “Like this is fine.” He said. 

“I don’t want ‘fine’.” Molly said. “I want ‘good’. Is this good, or would you like to lie down?” 

“No.” Caleb said. “I would like to be able to see you.” He reached out and threaded a hand through Molly’s hair. 

“Like this it is.” Molly grinned. He kissed along Caleb’s hips and pushed his shirt up. Caleb grabbed it and took it off, dropping it on the bed. 

“Goddamn you are beautiful.” Molly said, kissing along Caleb’s skin. He reached up and trailed a finger over a nipple, making Caleb gasp. 

“Mollymauk.” Caleb gasped. He was growing hard in his slacks, the bulge of his cock pressing against Molly’s jaw. 

“Someone’s happy glad I’m here.” Molly laughed, hands pausing at the top of Caleb’s jeans. He shot his boyfriend a look with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes.” Caleb nodded. “Please.”

Molly pressed a gentle kiss to his stomach before undoing Caleb’s pants. He pushed them down just enough to pull his lover’s cock free. 

“Goddamn you have a pretty dick.” Molly breathed before pressing soft kisses up the shaft. 

“Oh.” Caleb gasped, fingers twitching. 

“Just wait for the main event.” Molly teased. He laved the shaft of Caleb’s cock with gentle licks of his tongue, making Caleb gasp gently. He moved up, feeling his lovers’ cock grow to full hardness under his touches. 

“Molly, please.” Caleb gasped. Molly shot Caleb a cheeky wink before laving the head of his cock with his tongue and bringing it fully into his mouth. 

Caleb moaned at the feeling, his hands coming to Molly’s hair. Molly slid lower on his cock and then started to bob his head. Tiny gasps and soft noises were falling from Caleb’s mouth unbidden, and then Molly flicked his tongue over a spot that had Caleb crying out. 

“Oh God.” He gasped. His hips started to rock with the motion of Molly’s mouth. 

Caleb’s cock was so long that Molly couldn’t quite fit all of it in his mouth. He knew it would feel fantastic buried in his ass and he whined. His cock was growing in his leggings and fuck he ached for Caleb. His hand came up to work Caleb’s cock and his boyfriend cried out under the touches. Molly pulled back to gasp for breath, his hand still working Caleb’s shaft. 

“I’m good, aren’t I?” He preened. 

“You are also being a brat.” Caleb snarled out. “Molly, put that mouth of yours back to work.” 

“Anything when you ask like that.” Molly nodded, taking Caleb back into his mouth. 

Astrid heard familiar noises coming from Jacob’s room and felt the gorge rising in her throat. It was bad enough that she had to hear them kiss, but now this? She rose from between the couch and the coffee table glaring daggers at the door. She had to be in and out quickly. She walked around the couch and gently draped the mask over Jacob’s doorknob. 

They were leaving tonight, they had been called back to the Center by the Ikathon. They had found government agents and had killed them, but not before they had gotten off a warning. They were preparing for an assault, and the Ikathon needed all them them with him. She mentally sighed, putting a hand over her lower stomach. It would be a while before she was heavy with child, now. She turned away from Jacob’s door as the door to the roof opened. She vaulted over the back of the couch and landed in the same hiding spot on silent feet as two people tumbled into the living room. 

“Do you think this is wise?” The man with the white hair asked. 

“God, no.” The dark haired woman replied with a laugh. “Buy you’re not my patient anymore and I really, really want you.” 

Astrid watched as he slid his hand into her leggings and she gasped, arching her back. She heard familiar noises of slick fingers and saw the man move his hand up and down in a way that made her clit throb. She watched as the woman arched her back, crying out softly. 

“I want you to make me cum.” She kissed him and Astrid bit her lip. She had to remind herself that women weren’t meant for orgasms, and that good girls don’t cum. 

“Percy, yes.” The woman gasped, reaching for the doorknob. The door opened and she tugged him inside. 

Astrid took the chance to slide back out of the window and into the night. 

“Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly.” Caleb chanted in time with Molly’s head. Pleasure was singing along his blood and he was rocking his hips with Molly’s mouth. 

Molly was in heaven. Caleb’s hands were in his hair and Caleb’s cock was in his mouth and he was hard and leaking in his leggings and he was perfectly happy here. He flicked his tongue over Caleb’s cock and he cried out, sobbing on Molly’s name. Molly pulled away and worked Caleb’s cock with his hand. 

“Do you want to watch me, darling?” Molly asked. His voice was gravelly and thick and Caleb opened his eyes to look down. 

Molly’s lips were swollen and there was spit on his mouth and chin and he was flushed with need and his beautiful eyes were dark with lust. 

“Do you want to watch me finger myself for you?” Molly asked. Caleb nodded, dazed. 

“I want you to say it.” Molly tenderly kissed the head of Caleb’s cock, making him cry out sharply. “I want to hear your voice.” 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped. “I….I…” He took a breath. “I want to watch you fuck yourself.” 

Molly groaned and rested his head on Caleb’s hip. He pulled away from Caleb and stripped naked, tossing his clothes in a corner as he moved up the bed. 

Caleb watched in awe as Molly got naked. He was so comfortable in his own skin that Caleb was humbled by it. He had no idea how he was the one that Molly had picked to be his bed partner, but he was so thankful for it. He got to see this beautiful man naked and he was so stupidly in love with Molly that his soul sung with it. 

“Lay on the bed. I want to straddle you.” Molly reached for the bag he brought with him and pulled out the lube. He grinned and wiggled it at Caleb. 

Caleb took the chance to strip and then laid down and watched as Molly threw a leg over his hips. Caleb trailed a hand over Molly’s thigh and hip and chest, watching him in awe. 

“Remember you can safeword out at any time.” Molly opened the lube and put a generous dollop onto his fingers. He reached behind himself and shuddered as he traced his entrance with a finger. 

Caleb watched in awe as Molly slowly slid his index finger into himself. He gasped, his head falling back. 

“Oh, it’s been a while.” Molly gasped. He whined at the stretch and burn of it, before his knuckles hit his ass. He took a steady breath and started to rock his hips, fucking himself on his hand. 

“Has it been?” Caleb asked, his voice dark as he watched Molly. 

“Yes.” Molly confessed. “Since you-ah-smiled for me the first time.” He slid a second finger in and cried out at the sweet pleasure-burn. “Oh God.” He swore. His free hand fell to Caleb’s chest and he rocked his hips on his hand. 

Molly was beautiful. His mouth was half open and his eyes were closed and his chest was heaving as moans fell from his mouth and Caleb loved him. He reached up to cup Molly’s cheek and trace his thumb over Molly’s mouth. Molly opened his mouth and laved Caleb’s thumb with his tongue and whined. 

“I want to try.” Caleb blurted out in a surge of bravery. He took the hand that had been in Molly’s mouth and reached down behind Molly. He fingers brushed over where Molly’s vanished into his body and he rose up into a sitting position. 

“Let me try to please you, Molly.” He muttered. 

“You already do my darling.” Molly said. He captured Caleb’s mouth in a kiss as he slid his fingers out of himself. He took the lube and squirted some onto Caleb’s hand. “Go slowly. Explore. Take your time.” Molly urged. 

Caleb traced his fingers over Molly’s entrance and slowly slid his first finger inside. He watched Molly’s face as he gasped, his hands coming to clutch as Caleb’s shoulders. 

“That’s it.” Molly gasped. “Oh God, just like that.” He started rocking his hips as Caleb gently worked his finger in and out. “Oh God, so good.” Molly whined. 

It had been so long since he had anything inside of him that it ten times more intense than normal. Or perhaps it was because it was Caleb that was touching him. 

“Don’t stop.” Molly begged. “Please, Caleb. More.” 

“I do not want to hurt you.” Caleb protested. 

“I like it.” Molly said. “I like the burn, please, Caleb your hands are so damn talented. Pleasepleaseplease.” He begged. Caleb caught Molly’s mouth in a kiss as he slid another finger inside of Molly. 

Molly gasped and rocked back, fucking himself on Caleb’s hand. He was hot and slick around Caleb’s fingers and part of him wondered what Molly would feel like around his cock. He moaned at that, kissing Molly. 

“Fuck Caleb.” Molly muttered. “Crook your fingers. Please.” 

Caleb did as Molly asked for, working his fingers the whole time. He twisted his wrist and his fingers ran over something inside of Molly that him crying out and jerking on Caleb’s hand. 

“Yes, right there.” Molly babbled. “Please, oh God, right there.” Caleb ran the pads of his fingers over the spot and Molly keened. His cock was hard and leaking between them and Caleb’s own throbbed in sympathy. He slid a third in and Molly’s head fell back and Caleb took the chance to kiss and bite up Molly’s neck. 

Pleasure was racing up Molly’s spine and God he loved this. He loved the feeling of someone three fingers deep in his ass and they laved his body with touches and kisses. He was shaking and starting to babble. 

“Fuck me, Caleb.” He blurted out. “Oh fuck, please, I want you inside of me, I want your cock in my ass, please oh God.” He sobbed at the pleasure setting his body and soul on fire. 

“Molly.” Caleb gasped out. “You want, you want me to fuck you?” He asked in awe. 

“Please, Caleb.” Molly kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip. “Please, I need you.” 

Caleb’s hand stopped working as he looked at Molly. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. Molly forced himself to stop rutting back into his boyfriend’s hand, to stop chasing his own pleasure. 

“Yes.” Molly said. He opened his eyes and kissed Caleb gently. “I’ve wanted you from the moment you smiled for me. I want you to fuck me. I want you inside of me, in the most intimate way possible.” 

“Molly, you know….you know my past.” Caleb said. 

“I know. I know and if you don’t want too, that’s fine.” Molly explained. “But if you do, I am so alright with being fucked by you.” Molly reached behind him and gently eased Caleb’s hand out of his ass. “Just so I can think clearly, darling.” Molly assured him. 

“Remember what I said on your first night together?” Molly asked, sitting on Caleb’s thighs. “That I wouldn’t pressure you to anything you don’t want?” 

“Ja, I remember.” Caleb muttered. 

“I mean it. I mean it, body and soul. I will never have you do something you feel uncomfortable with, even if it’s something that I want.” Molly explained. “I want you, I want you to make love to me. If you don’t want that, that’s fine. I’m fine with this. As long as I get to kiss you and hold you and be with my boyfriend.” 

“Boyfriend?” Caleb asked gently. Molly tilted his head, shooting Caleb a shy smile. 

“I was hoping you would be.” He said gently. 

“I-ah-like that.” Caleb admitted, laughing softly. Molly broke into a wide smile, laughing. It just made Caleb laugh more. 

“Delightful.” Molly laughed. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so this is wonderfully new.” He kissed Caleb softly. Caleb cupped his face with his clean hand and kissed him back. He slid his tongue into Molly’s mouth and his boyfriend whined with it. 

“Yes.” Caleb said. He blinked in surprise at his own boldness. “Yes, Molly, I would like to have you.” 

Molly pulled back and blinked, as if he was absorbing Caleb’s words. He then broke out into the widest smile that Caleb had ever seen. He wrapped his arms around Caleb, holding him close and kissing him. Caleb kissed Molly back, fingers slick with lube trailing over Molly’s entrance. 

“Caleb, yes.” Molly arched his hips as Caleb slid three fingers into him effortlessly. “How do you want me?” He asked. 

Caleb paused, looking at Molly. He knew that most of them the woman were taken when they were faced-down, but he didn’t want that for Molly. He know if he had the upper body strength to take Molly when he was on his back, and kneeling was out of the question; he wanted to be close to Molly. 

“Like this?” He asked, cupping his face. 

“Hey, don’t ask me. I know I look good riding cock.” Molly peacocked, throwing his arms over his head and arching his back. “Tell me how you want me.” 

Caleb shuddered with desire and had to shut his eyes. He opened them and looked up at Molly. 

“I want you to ride me.” His voice dropping with the tone of command. Molly shuddered and his eyes grew dark with want. 

“Yes.” Molly nodded, and Caleb kissed him. He slid two fingers into Molly’s body, watching his face. He didn’t want to hurt Molly, despite his boyfriend’s words. 

“Yes, just like that.” Molly gasped out, shuddering. 

Caleb found the lube with his free hand and passed it to Molly. Molly opened his eyes and grinned. He popped the cap off and opened it before putting a generous amount onto his hand. One could never have enough lube when they were having sex. He gently worked Caleb’s cock, spreading the lube around the length that was finally, finally going to be inside of him. 

“Ah, Molly.” Caleb gasped. 

“Just think of how good it’ll feel when you’re inside of me.” Molly whispered into Caleb ear, scraping the shell with his teeth. Caleb shuddered with it and moved Molly’s hips with his hand. 

“I’m stretched enough. Please, Caleb.” Molly begged. Caleb turned and kissed Molly, sucking on his tongue as he slid his hand out. He grabbed his cock and gave himself a few gentle strokes as he lined himself up. 

“Are you ready?” Molly asked. 

“I should be asking you that.” Caleb confessed with a tiny laugh. 

“Oh honey, I lost my virginity ages ago. This is your big moment.” Molly said. “Are you ready?” He asked again. 

Caleb swallowed. “Yes.” He breathed out. 

Molly slowly lowered himself down on Caleb’s cock. His breath caught in his chest as the head of Caleb’s delightfully large cock breached him. 

“Oh.” He gasped out, taking Caleb inside him inch by inch. “Oh God, Caleb.” He sobbed. One of his hands slammed on the headboard and he was shaking with the effort to not just impale himself on Caleb’s wonderfully thick and delightfully perfect cock. 

Caleb felt Molly take him into himself and his mouth dropped as his eyes flew wide open. Pleasure like he had never known burned along his spine and ripped a strangled noise from his throat. He gripped Molly’s hips so tightly he knew there would be bruises in the morning but he found he didn’t care. 

His hips connected with Molly’s ass and he fell back to the bed, chest heaving. He swore in German, hands shaking already. 

“Oh fuck Caleb, I knew your cock would be perfect.” Molly gasped. He rocked his hips gently and Caleb cried out under him. 

“Bitte, Molly.” He pleaded, forgetting English in his pleasure. “Molly, bitte beweg dich.” 

“You want me to move?” Molly asked. “Is that it?” 

“Yes.” Caleb gasped out. “Molly, please.” 

“Well, since you beg so prettily.” Molly muttered. He rolled his hips and they both cried out as one. 

Caleb was unable to rip his eyes from Molly’s form. He rode Caleb, his hips working in small circles, gasps and soft noises falling from his mouth. He was flushed, his purple curls clinging to his neck as sweat dampened his temples and he was the picture of beautiful debauchery. 

“Beautiful.” Caleb gasped. “You are so beautiful.” He rose to a sitting position and kissed Molly. 

“Caleb, yes.” Molly gasped, sucking on his bottom lip. “Perfect. Your cock is perfect, you mouth is perfect, your hands are perfect, fucking Christ you’re perfect.” His hands clutched at Caleb’s shoulders as he gave in. 

Caleb’s cock was long and thick and hitting all the right spots inside of him. He was shaking and rocking on his boyfriend’s dick and he was so full of love for the man in his arms he began to sob with it. He moved from rocking his hips to riding Caleb truly, bouncing on his cock. His own hung heavy and hot and hard between them, leaking on their stomachs. 

“Fuck you’re incredible.” He gasped out. Caleb kissed along his shoulders and Molly let his head fall back. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” 

Caleb sucked a mark into Molly’s pale neck and threaded a hand into his curls. He started meeting Molly’s hips with his own, gasps and soft moans falling from his mouth. He pulled Molly’s head to the side and left a string of marks up his neck, Molly crying out with each one. He was getting possessive, and the hand on Molly’s hip started forcing Molly to bounce on his cock, instead of rocking. 

“Molly.” He gasped out. “Molly, Molly, Molly.” He bit down on Molly’s earlobe and his lover cried out. He was getting more confident with every sound that came from Molly, so his hand started to snake across his boyfriend’s body to grab his cock. 

“Yes!” Molly cried out. He grabbed the headboard with both hands and sped up his hips. The bed was rocking and squeaking and the headboard was hitting the back wall and Molly was very sure everyone in the Cafe knew they were fucking but he really didn’t care. 

He finally had Caleb under him, inside of him, around him, exactly where he had wanted him. He could feel the pressure in his belly start to build and his breath caught in his throat. 

“That’s it Molly.” Caleb snarled in his ear. “I want you to cum for me.” 

Molly whined at Caleb’s words. 

“I want you to cum as you ride me. I want you take everything I give you. I want you to take it, like the pretty little slut you are.” Caleb whispered into Molly’s ear and Molly was gone. 

“Yes.” He wailed. “Yes, call me that Caleb, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.” 

“Slut.” Caleb snarled in Molly’s ear. He worked Molly’s cock, flicking his thumb over the piercing. “My pretty little slut.” Caleb was so close he could taste it. His thighs were shaking and he was damn near sobbing with the need to cum, but Molly would find his pleasure first. Caleb was determined in that. 

Molly came all over Caleb’s fist with a silent scream. He dug his fingers into Caleb’s shoulder and the pain pushed Caleb over the edge. He pulled Molly down flush to his hips as he spilled inside of him. Caleb moaned aloud with the force of his orgasm as he shuddered apart under Molly’s touch. 

He fell back onto his bed and Molly came with him. Molly snuggled close and Caleb wrapped his arms around his lithe frame and held him close. 

“Wow.” Molly laughed. 

“Ja.” Caleb said. 

“Like, wow. I have had a lot of sex in my day and wow.” Molly laughed. He turned his head and kissed Caleb gently and sweetly. 

“That was….” Caleb’s voice wandered off as he struggled to find the words. “Beautiful.” He settled on. He kissed Molly again, holding him close. 

Who would have thought that the strange man with the purple hair and the loud voice that Caleb had met in his second week here would have come to be the love of his life? He rested his forehead against Molly’s, holding him close. 

“I am honored you let me share this with you.” Molly said, kissing him again. Caleb’s body was singing with pleasure and his muscles were lax and his brain was delightfully fuzzy. “Thank you, my love.” 

“Thank you being willing to share this with me.” Caleb said gently. “Thank you showing me….all of this.” He gestured to their bodies, to where he was still joined with Molly, where his seed was leaking from his lover. 

“Anytime.” Molly said. “And I mean anytime. You want a two AM bootycall, please call me.” He laughed, kissing Caleb. The kiss turned into a yawn and Molly snuggled in close. 

“I always get sleepy after I get fucked.” He mumbled against Caleb’s collarbone. 

“Ja. I am tired as well.” Caleb reached down and pulled the covers over them. He reached over and turned off the light. Frumpkin jumped down from the cat tree to curl up against Caleb’s side as Molly pressed tiny kisses to his skin. 

“Sleep well, my darling dear.” Molly muttered. 

“And you as well.” Caleb kissed the top of Molly’s head. 

Caleb was never one to fall asleep quickly. His mind was just too full of ideas, to quick to race and to leap from one thought to the next like monkeys in a tree. He lay there, in his bed, with Molly’s seed drying on his skin and his own cooling between Molly’s thighs as his lover slept. Caleb watched the moon rise and he watched as the silver light hit Molly’s face. He traced the shadows of his long eyelashes with his gaze, and Caleb memorized how the light glinted off of the metal in his lover’s face. He watched as the light danced across Molly’s sharp cheekbones and over his full lips as he snored gently. 

“I love you.” Caleb muttered. He kissed Molly’s hair, holding him close. “I love you.” He repeated. 

He eventually fell asleep with Molly in his arms and Frumpkin purring away. 

Caleb woke up with a heavy weight on his chest, a warm body in his bed, and an erection. Normally he would just ignore it and have it go away but now? Molly was here, in his arms, warm and solid and happy. He shifted, and Molly rolled onto his back, mumbling in his sleep. 

Perfect. 

Caleb grinned and moved so he was hovering over Molly’s body. He pressed soft kisses to Molly’s jaw and down his long, beautiful neck. Molly made a noise and shifted in his sleep. 

“Wake up, schatz.” Caleb urged. The Cafe was quiet still, nobody was awake yet. He moved his hand over Molly’s body to gently cup his cock. Molly sighed, eyes fluttering in his sleep. 

“Wake up, Mollymauk.” He whispered into his boyfriend’s ear. Molly gasped awake, his head falling back. 

“Oh good morning to you too.” He mumbled, catching Caleb in a kiss. He whined and spread his legs. He reached over for the lube and passed it to Caleb. “I’ve always wanted to try lazy morning sex.” He admitted with a smile. 

Caleb took the lube from him as Molly slid a pillow under his hips. Molly was still lose and open from last night so it wasn’t long before Caleb was three fingers deep inside of him. Caleb slid his fingers out and his cock in, gasping at the feeling. 

Molly whined, arching his back. He was hard and hooked a leg over Caleb’s hips, his hands coming to pull him down into a kiss. He kissed Caleb as his boyfriend started to rock into him slowly. 

“Oh God.” Molly gasped out, and Caleb kissed down his neck. He wrapped his arms around Molly, elbows bearing his weight. 

They rocked together, and sweetly, taking their time. There was no rush for them this morning. There was none of the need of the night before, there was no frantic rush to their joining this time. This was them, wrapped up in each other, foreheads pressed together, breathing each others air, as they became one. 

Molly came first, arching his back and moaning into Caleb’s mouth. Caleb dropped his head and spilled inside of Molly. It wasn’t as physically intense as last night, but there was something more emotional about this coupling to Caleb. He dropped the last few inches to rest his body against Molly’s, Molly’s fingers coming up to tangle in his hair. 

“And a very good morning to you too.” Molly laughed gently. Caleb blushed and hid his face in Molly’s neck. 

“Oh darling it’s alright.” Molly giggled. 

“I am sorry.” Caleb muttered. “I cannot keep my hands off of you.” 

Molly was addicting, the way he arched and responded to Caleb’s mouth and hands. He wanted to see how many ways Molly could respond to him. He rolled to his side, bringing Molly with him. 

“I was expecting something like this, to be frank.” Molly muttered. He felt Caleb’s soft cock slip from him and he whined with displeasure. He liked being filled and fucked and Caleb’s cock was perfect for it. 

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked. Molly trailed his fingers up and over Caleb’s chest and arms. 

“Your sex drive just woke up after a lifetime of being suppressed. You’re going to be a horny teenage boy for a while and darling, I am alright with that.” He kissed Caleb softly. 

Somewhere a pair of feet hit the floor. 

“Someone else is up.” Molly said against Caleb’s mouth. “We should get going. I’m hungry.” Molly whined. He slowly rose, wincing at the burn in his ass. He climbed off the bed and padded into Caleb’s bathroom. 

Caleb rested his head on his arms as he watched Molly clean his cum off of his body and Caleb’s from between his thighs, brush his teeth and then preen in front of the mirror. Caleb watched as Molly showed off, knowing Caleb was watching him. 

“See something you like handsome?” Molly called out, padding back into the room, naked. 

“You know I do.” Caleb replied gently. Molly opened his closet and dug about for spare clothing, tossing a pair of sweats and a shirt to Caleb before sliding into a pair himself. 

“Come on, I’m hungry.” Molly pouted. 

“Can you at least put on a shirt? You have marks everywhere.” Caleb muttered as he got dressed. 

“No. I like showing off.” Molly had bite marks on his neck and hickies on his shoulders and on his hips were a perfect pair of hand prints. “I like others knowing I’m yours.” 

Caleb rose from the bed and walked over to Molly. He cupped his cheeks in both hands and kissed him gently. Molly whined into it, wrapping his arms around Caleb’s hips. 

“You are an incredible man, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Caleb said gently. “And I am an honored to have you in my bed.” He rested his forehead against Molly’s, breathing him in. Molly smiled against Caleb’s lips, running the pads of his fingers over Caleb’s spine. 

“Hey….” Molly said. “You know I love you, right?” Molly asked gently. Caleb pulled back, blinking. 

“What?” He asked, shocked.

“I’ve been in love with you since you smiled for me in the car. You don’t have to say it back, or even feel it back.” Molly said. “I just needed you to know that this isn’t casual, that you are not casual, and that I love you. I love you with everything that I am and will be.” He kissed the tip of Caleb’s nose. 

There was the creaking of a door opening and then Beau’s voice. They heard her limp over to Caleb’s door and pull something from the handle. 

“Caleb, you awake?” She asked gently. 

“Ja, ja, we are.” Caleb broke from Molly’s grip and opened the door. Beau was standing in the door, in sweats and a tanktop, holding a mask. 

“This was on your fucking door. Are you okay?” She asked. Molly rushed forward and grabbed the mask. 

“Her.” He whispered. 

“Astrid.” Caleb went pale and he started to shake. His phone rang at just that moment. 

“Caleb, don’t answer.” Molly said. 

“It is Fields’ ring tone. I have to.” He grabbed the phone and answered. 

“Fields, is everything alright?” Caleb padded into the living room and ran his fingers over all the screens in the open windows. 

“No. We’re moving early. They killed four of the field agents last night.” He spoke. 

“Shit.” Caleb muttered. He found the torn screen and gestured to Beau, who padded over. The others in the Cafe were waking up now, moving blearily and slowly into the living room. 

“Seconded.” Fields said. “We need you with us.” 

Caleb paused. 

“What?” He asked. 

“You need to come with us.” Fields said. “We need your information in real time, in the field.” 

“Don’t.” Caleb said. Fear and panic flooded his heart and he started to shake. “Don’t send me back there.” 

Molly saw the horror on his lover’s face and he rushed over to him. Caleb wrapped his free arm around Molly and held him close. Caleb was cold and clammy and shaking, so different than the man who taken him not ten minutes ago. 

“Caleb, we need you.” Fields said. 

“Fields, please.” He begged. 

“Caleb, please.” Fields countered. “We can’t loose any more men to these people.” 

“I cannot go back there.” Caleb begged. 

“We won’t let them find you.” Fields said. He could hear the agent pacing. He sounded tired and stressed, like he was trying to keep himself together as best as he could. 

“They already have.” Caleb whispered. “Astrid, the woman I told you about, she is at the Cafe.” He said. “She found me, she’s been watching my family since I left.” 

He was unaware of the term ‘family’ that slipped through his lips. 

“The more reason to come with us.” Fields argued. Caleb sighed, knowing that Fields was right. He knew that the Agent had spoken the truth. He pulled Molly closer and glanced at him. 

“If I do this, Molly comes with me.” He said. “I cannot do this alone. I need him with me.” Caleb claimed.

“This is no place for a civilian.” Fields protested. 

“Which I am.” Caleb pointed out. “Either Mollymauk Tealeaf comes with me, or I do not go.” 

There was silence on the line and in the living room. Everyone was looking at Caleb and Molly, Fjord and Beau whispering to each other. 

“Fine.” Fields said. “Molly can come.” 

“Thank you, Fields.” Caleb said gently. 

“We’ll have people coming by later to take you to the airport. We’re moving in less forty-eight hours. Get your shit together.” And he hung up. 

There was silence in the Cafe. 

“Caleb, what happened?” Nott asked. 

“Astrid was here last night. Now I know she left that as a message because she is leaving.” He pointed to the mask in Beau’s hand. “They killed four agents and now the timeline has been moved up. The F.B.I is going to raid the compound in two days. They need me there.” Caleb took a deep breath. “And I need Molly there.” 

“I’m right here.” Molly said from Caleb’s side. He put his hand on Caleb’s chest and kissed the corner of his mouth softly. “I’m going with you.” He said. “Just let me head home and pack, alright?” He stepped away and Caleb couldn’t help how his hand trailed after Molly’s body. 

“Jester, will you please do me a favor and watch Frumpkin for me?” He asked. 

“Oh Caleb!” Jester surged forward and pulled Caleb into a hug, crying into his neck. “You are so brave! Of course I’ll take care of Frumpkin for you!” 

Caleb blinked awkwardly and Fjord made patting motions at Caleb behind Jester’s back. Caleb awkwardly patted her on the back, looking to Yasha to see if he was doing this right. The big woman gave him an awkward thumbs up. Jester pulled away and she was crying but she was smiling.

“I will be glad to watch Frumpkin while you’re away.” She wiped her cheeks and Caleb smiled at her. 

“Thank you, schatz.” He kissed her cheek gently as Molly appeared, dressed in his own clothing. 

“Hey Fjord, looks like my boyfriend is flirting with your girlfriend. What ever shall we do?” Molly deadpanned. 

“Molly, no.” Fjord turned to him as Molly made kissy noises. 

“Molly, behave for once.” Caleb chided him softly. 

“Aw fine.” He pouted. He walked over to Caleb and kissed him gently. “I’ll be back, alright. I need to shower and pack.” 

Caleb cupped Molly’s face and kissed him back gently. He was very aware of the eyes on them, but Molly was enjoying this. 

“I’ll be back.” Molly said, kissing him again. “Don’t leave without me.”


	21. Travel, Meetings, and Bathrooms

Caleb walked down the streets of the tiny Wyoming town, head down. He leaned into Molly, pulling strength from his form as they kept pace. He suitcase was heavy in his hand and Molly’s cigarette smoke penetrated his nose. The Agents were a few steps behind them and tension hung heavy in the air. 

Caleb led them to a small motel that Trent had stayed at before. He pushed the door open and the man behind the counter, Tony, blinked as Molly put out his smoke and slipped inside. 

“Jacob! We’ll I’ll be damned! It’s good to see you!” He held out a hand for Caleb who shook it gently. 

“Ah, it is good to see to you Tony.” He said softly. The man behind the counter was sunburnt and red, with a bald head and a belly from a life lived in restaurants. 

“Those friends of yours came through maybe a day ago. I was surprised you weren’t with them!” He laughed. “Four rooms for you four?” He asked. 

“Just two, please.” Caleb said. “One double and one single.” 

Tony blinked but nodded. 

“Alright, one single for the couple and a double for you and your friend.” Tony ran through the cards as Caleb corrected him. 

“Ah, no. The other way around. Please.” Caleb reached out and took Molly’s hand in his own. Tony’s face softened. 

“Sorry, my fault.” He said. Tony had always been kind. 

“It is alright. Things have changed, in the last few months.” Caleb admitted. “Quite a few things have changed. I prefer to go by Caleb now.” 

“Caleb?” Tony said. “Alright. Is everything okay? When Astrid and Aeodwulf came through they were looking panicked. It’s not like them.” 

“You may see it on the news in a few days.” Molly said. “My name’s Mollymauk, Molly to my friends, pleasure to meet you Tony.” Molly put down his suitcase and shook his hand. “You look like a discerning gentleman. How about you don’t let it slip that my boyfriend and our F.B.I friends are here, alright?” 

“F.B.I?” Tony asked. “This is a good town, a quiet town, we get by because of the summer tourists, there’s no funny business around town, I promise.” 

“We know.” Winters said, stepping around the lovers. “Our business is in the park.” 

“With Astrid and Aeodwulf.” Fields said. 

“Wufl is a good kid, but that wife of his?” Tony shuddered. He passed them their keys. “There’s nothing behind her eyes.” 

“I know. We’ve met.” Molly said bleakly. 

“You two are next to each other.” He gave them their rooms and smiled at them gently. “Jac-Caleb, sorry, Caleb, it’s good to have you back.” He clapped Caleb on the shoulder. 

“Thank you, Tony.” He turned to go and paused. “Tell me, is that candy store on main street still open?” 

“It’s summertime, of course it’s open.” Tony beamed. 

“Wonderful. Thank you, Tony.” Caled said as they left the office. 

“Candy store?” Molly asked gently. 

“They have the most delightful caramel apples.” Caleb supplied. 

They headed to their rooms and when the door shut Caleb sighed, sitting on their bed. He watched as Molly unpacked slowly, humming to himself as he did so. Molly hadn’t made one complaint during this whole thing; he had packed and traveled on a moment’s notice and here he was in the middle of a tiny town in the middle of nowhere where he stuck out like a sore thumb, defending Caleb and keeping him safe. 

“I am sorry, Molly.” He said. 

“For what, darling?” Molly asked, digging out the bag of makeup he had brought. 

“For dragging you along with me.” Caleb said. He reached out and ran his hand over Molly’s thigh. “I know this is not something you would have done, if up to you. But you being here means the world to me.” 

“Caleb darling,” Molly turned to him and took his hands in his. “We’re a thing now, we’re a couple. And that means doing the things that couples do. Not just cooking dinner and running errands and going on dates and fucking eachother’s brains out. That also means supporting eachother in dark times, taking care of eachother, and being there when the other needs support.” He pulled Caleb’s hands around him in a hug and kissed Caleb’s forehead. “And right now, you could use some support.” Molly muttered. 

Caleb looked up at Molly, bright blue eyes wide. 

“You are too good for me.” He said softly. 

“Hush.” Molly said. “Stop that train of thought right now.” He kissed Caleb gently. Caleb whined into the kiss and dragged Molly down into his lap. 

“Hi there.” Molly said when they were face to face. He kissed Caleb again, sucking on his bottom lip. Caleb whined and tugged Molly’s shirt up to trail his hand over his boyfriend’s soft skin. They broke apart and stayed like that, holding each other, until there was a knock at the door. 

“Caleb, Molly, the meeting is at the police station. We need you both there.” Fields said. Molly sighed, dropping his head to Caleb’s shoulder. 

“You can fuck me later, yes?” He asked. 

“Ja.” Caleb agreed, cupping his face. Molly climbed off of Caleb and sauntered to the door. 

“Why Agent Fields, so charming to see you.” He beamed as he opened the door. “Yes, please the flight was lovely and yes of course we’d love to go to this meeting even though we’re starving.” 

“Food will be provided.” Fields deadpanned from behind his sunglasses. 

“Oh joy of joys.” Molly snarked. “Did you hear that darling? We get police station coffee and stale donuts.” 

“How do you know what police station coffee is like?” Caleb asked, rising to his feet. 

“I’ve been in a few police stations.” Molly explained. 

“Fields, be nice to Molly. Molly, be nice to Fields, ja?” Caleb sighed. He kissed Molly’s cheek before grabbing his bag, double checking to make sure his books were there. 

“Alright, alright.” Molly said. “Agent Grumpy, lead the way!” 

Caleb locked their room and fell into step with Molly and Fields. Molly casually threw and arm over Caleb’s shoulders and leaned into him as they walked down the street. 

It was a town that Norman Rockwell would have painted, had he designed landscapes. There was a barber shop and a pharmacist and a candy/toy store combo and an honest to God soda fountain on the corner. It was the kind of town that got stuck in the 1950’s and people wished they could raise their kids in. It was the kind of town where one person gets into a drunken fight with another over a farm tool and people still gossiped about the fight years later. 

Molly stuck out like a sore thumb. 

He had bright purple hair, tattoos and metal in his face, a jacket covered in patches and pins and studs, pants that looked to be sprayed on, heavy boots, a wallet on a chain, and his arm was around another man in a romantic manner. 

Molly stuck out like a yellow tulip in a red field. 

He held his head high and smiled at the people who stared at him. 

“Molly-ah-is this wise?” Caleb asked softly, brushing his fingers over Molly’s arm. 

“I don’t mind. If you do I’ll stop. I just don’t see why I have to change who I am to please people.” He muttered. 

“No, I like it.” Caleb explained. “It is grounding. But…people here may not be so understanding.” 

“Fuck ‘em.” Molly said. “My boyfriend wants cuddles and cuddles he shall get.” Molly laughed, head thrown back as they entered the building. He winked at the older woman at the receptionist’s desk as Fields flashed his badge and guided them deep into the station. 

It was like all the others that Molly had been in; there were the same desks in neat little rows, same phones and the same paperwork, the same gray-haired and paunchy men standing by the terrible, terrible coffee. Only difference was this time Molly wasn’t drunk and he wasn’t in handcuffs. 

“Gentlemen.” Molly gave them a lazy salute as he followed Fields into the briefing room. 

The room was filled with cops and highway patrol and men in dark suits and Molly’s rebellious hackles raised on instinct. There was a lot of authority in this room and Molly had authority issues. There was also, much to his surprise, park rangers. They were lean and had tanned skin and crows feet and a presence that spoke of a life lived outdoors. While the others officers were chatting away without a care, the rangers were standing together, muttering under their breath. 

“Caleb!” Winters said with delight. She walked over and pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“Ja, it is good to see you as well.” He said. “Winters, meet Mollymauk Tealeaf.” He said. 

“I remember you. You were at the airport.” Winters said. “We sent him back to you safe and sound.” Molly shook her hand and realized with a start that not only she was the only woman in the room and the only person of color as well. 

“Thank you for that.” Molly bent and kissed her hand with a flourish. “It seems I owe you a debt.” She laughed softly. 

“Take care of him.” She said. “He’s the linchpin of this whole thing. Without him, we don’t have a case. Without him we couldn’t have done this.” She gestured to the room. “Take a seat, please.” She gestured to the chairs at the front of the room. 

The room was set up like a church or a classroom, with rows of seats facing a projector. There was a screen pulled down and a laptop on a desk and a clicker in Winters’s hand. 

“Alright gentleman!” She called out. “Take your seats!” The men took their seats and Fields flicked the lights off as Molly and Caleb sat down. 

She pushed a button and a map of the park illuminated the screen. 

“This is the park. Thanks to live sat feeds we’ve located the People’s Center for the Preservation of the Family Unit.” She pushed a button and there, on the screen, from above, was the Compound. 

“They’re located between Sunlight Peak and Nipple Mesa.” 

Molly snorted with suppressed laughter. 

“Really, Mollymauk?” Caleb muttered. 

“What? It’s a funny name.” He whispered. 

“As you can see, it’s pretty barren.” She showed a few slides of the area. It was wild mountains and forests, with running rivers and snow capped peaks. “Rangers, I believe that some of your people have gone missing around here.” 

“Yes, ma’am they have.” A man stood. He was tall and broad and lean, with sun weathered skin, salt and pepper hair and blue eyes. “DeNay and Willams both vanished around there.” The name on his shirt read ‘Moscowitz’. 

“Yes. Alice DeNay and Jonah Williams.” Two faces appeared on the screen. A young Asian woman and an older black man, smiling side by side. “They vanished in ‘91 and ‘99, respectively.” Winters said. “We believe their murders to be the work of the Center.” 

“Do not call them that.” Caleb said gently. Heads turned to him. “Call them what they are. A cult.” 

“And who the fuck’re you?” A young cop grumbled. He still had acne on his face. 

"He’s-” Molly started to say. 

“Schatz, please.” Caleb held up a hand. Molly shut his mouth. “My name is Caleb Widogast.” He rose to his feet. “I was taken by the cult when I was thirteen years old. I lived there until I escaped three months ago. I am your only source of information as what it is like and to what these people can do.” He stated simply. 

“So as you can see, we know exactly what we’re dealing with.” Winters said. 

“Son, you said you lived there?” Moscowitz said. 

“Ja, I did.” Caleb nodded. 

“Do you know them?” He pointed to the screen. 

“I do not know the young woman, she was before my time. But I know the man.” He said simply. “I know the woman who killed him.” He turned to the ranger. “You should be proud to know that your ranger put up a fight. He did not go quietly, in the end.” Caleb sat back down. 

His hands were shaking and terror was clawing at his throat and he wanted to bolt. He felt Molly’s hands on his own and he turned to look at Molly. He leaned into Molly’s form gently and he felt Molly kiss his hair, and the panic lessened. 

“The cult is in the grasp of this man.” Winters said. 

There, on the screen, looming larger than life, was the Ikathon. Caleb flinched and Molly tugged him into his chest. Somewhere, in the room, someone muttered “fuckin’ fags”. 

“I will not tolerate that kind of language in this operation and if you cannot be civil I will have you removed.” Winters snapped. “Is that clear?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” The person grumbled. 

“No ‘yeah yeah’. It’s ‘yes ma’am’ or ‘no ma’am’.” Winters said. “Try again.” 

“Yes ma’am.” The voice said, surly in tone. 

“Good boy.” She quipped. Molly snorted with laughter again into Caleb’s hair. 

“I like her.” He muttered. Caleb peeked out from the shelter of Molly’s arms and saw Fields smiling with pride. 

“His name is John McMurray. He goes by Trent Ikathon.” She clicked and the slide changed. It was a collection of pictures of the Ikathon through the years and Caleb found himself moving closer to the screen.   
It started off with what looked to be a family photo, with a young woman and an older man, with a toddler by their knees. They were not smiling and Caleb got the feeling it was an unhappy marriage. Then it was a high school graduation photograph. Then it was a military photograph, of Trent with his head shaved and the Marine flag in the background. There were various mugshots as well, and news paper clippings with his face in them. 

“John McMurray, Otherwise know as Trent Ikathon or just “The Ikathon”, age 69. Born in Ohio on May 5th 1949. Was arrested for shoplifting in ‘62, petty theft in ‘64, assault in ‘71, and assault again in ‘74. His break from crime in the late sixties and early seventies was because he was drafted and served in Vietnam. He was dishonorably discharged. McMurray went off the grid in ‘79. The same time that 15 year old Blanche Hollard, 16 year old Mary Demika, 15 year old Lois Jackson, and 14 year old Martha Armistead were reported missing from their homes.” 

She brought up a new slide and Caleb gasped. 

“Caleb?” Winters said. 

“I know these women.” He rose. “These are his wives.” He pointed to the youngest one. “Her name is Camille. She is in charge of the unmarried women and she is also the midwife.” He pointed to the other two. “Those Agnes and Jenny and Sarah. They are in charge of the livestock and the fields and the storehouse.” 

They had aged with the years, but they were still the same. Agnes still had the curly blonde hair and freckles, Jenny had the dark skin and the wiry hair and the kind eyes that Caleb knew, Sarah with the graying brown hair and soft smile, and Camille had her big brown eyes and the gap between her front teeth and cute little button nose. 

“We think they ran away from home, and met up with McMurray.” Winters supplied. “Similar to Manson and the girls that he called his “family”.” She used air quotes. “Wherever these four went, missing children followed.” 

She tapped a button and on the screen were missing children’s posters. He saw people he knew, he saw his friends, he saw his wife Lucy, he saw Astrid and Aeodwulf, and he saw himself, smiling shyly at the camera at the high table of his bar mitzvah. He laughed softly and pointed to himself. His hair was greasy and falling in his face, he had spots on his chin and cheeks and his braces were shiny in the photograph. 

“Molly look.” He said. 

“Awww you’re a cutie.” Molly said. 

There were dozens of posters, familiar faces in all of them. 

“I know these people.” Caleb said. “I know them well. That is my wife.” He pointed to the picture of the little black girl in a school uniform with her hair in two poofs on either side of her head. 

“Her name is Danica.” Fields said. “Danica Jones.” 

“Danica.” Caleb said, smiling gently. “She will like to be called by her real name.” 

“I keep forgetting you’re married.” Molly muttered. “Does this make me a homewrecker?” He asked softly. 

“It makes you the kept man.” Caleb teased gently. 

“So you think you’re sugar daddy material?” Molly laughed softly as Caleb made a face. 

“Never call me ‘daddy’ again.” He whispered back. 

“Well, what if we get kids?” Molly whispered back. “I could be ‘daddy’ then, I guess.”

“What?” Caleb glanced over to Molly. 

“You think I’m gonna let you be the one that got away?” Molly laughed softly. He pressed a kiss to Caleb’s ring finger, where the ring from his marriage with Lucy still sat. “It’s gonna be my ring on this finger, one day.” Caleb blushed at Molly’s words and turned back to the meeting. 

They talked. And they talked and they talked and they talked. They plotted and planned and shared information as Fields wrote everything down on the board. Soon they had a pile of information, given mostly by Caleb and the park rangers. The information was a combination of deadly and local plants and animals, missing persons, sink holes and trials and places to avoid. Molly watched as Caleb stood and took command, listing everything and everyone that they needed to know. Molly’s stomach was rumbling with hungry and some of the men were shifting in their seats. 

“Agent Winters?” The receptionist from earlier peeked her gray head in. “Maude’s here with lunch.” 

“Ah, thank you.” Winters said. She nodded to Fields and the lights flickered on and Molly groaned at it, shoving his face in Caleb’s stomach. He had a soft belly now, with thick thighs and an ass that Molly had a hard time keeping his hands off of. 

“Come on Molly.” Caleb laughed gently, pulling away as the door opened. A large older woman came tottering in carrying a tower of boxes. Molly sprang to his feet and took a few. 

“Oh no you don’t, young man!” She said. “Put those back!” 

“Not if I can help it!” Molly laughed. 

“Guests don’t work!” Maude fixed him with a sharp green stare. 

“I’m with the F.B.I.” Molly said, “I’m hardly a guest.” 

“Yes, you are.” She puttered over to the large table against the far wall and started sliding boxes down. 

“Hardly. I can’t stand around and be useless!” Molly whined. “Please, Maude, let me help.” He fixed her with his best puppy stare as he slid his boxes onto the table. Maude’s face slowly emerged from the pile of boxes. She had a round face, with laugh lines around her mouth and kind green eyes. There were freckles dancing over her cheeks and down her neck and her gray hair was pulled down in a braid that went past her butt. 

“Ugh fine!” She shoved a few boxes at him and Molly beamed. “How can I resist those big eyes of yours!” She laughed. “Your girlfriend must do whatever you ask of her.” 

“Boyfriend, actually, and it’s the other way around.” Molly laid them out and opened the boxes as Maude laid out the dishes and silverware. “He’s got me wrapped around his little finger.” 

“Well that’s a good thing.” Maude laughed. “Eyes like yours are dangerous.” 

She had brought sandwiches of every kind, three different kinds of soup, chips and fries that were homemade, pot roast and more pies than Molly could count. 

“Think you brought enough food, Maude?” He teased. “I’m Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends.” 

“It’s good to meet you Molly.” Maude said. Molly felt a hand on his back and he turned, beaming at Caleb. 

“Hello Maude.” Caleb said gently. 

“Jacob!” Maude threw her arms wide and tugged Caleb into a hug. 

“It’s Caleb, now.” Caleb stayed stiff in her arms and wriggled free, sliding back next to Molly. 

“Oh? You change your name?” She asked. She quickly prepped plates and handed them out as she talked, and Molly swooped to get in on the action. 

“Ah, no.” Caleb laughed. “It has always been Caleb.” He gestured to the maps on the walls and the pictures still projected. “I am one of the taken children.” He explained. 

Maude paused, looking at the wall for the first time. Molly took over, passing out food as she moved with Caleb to look at the photos. 

“Oh my Lord.” She muttered, covering her mouth. “I…I know these children.” She tapped Astrid and Aeodwulf’s photos. “They were at my place not two days ago. Are they in trouble Ja-Caleb?” 

“Yes.” Caleb said. “I know Astrid has murdered at least ten people. I know Wulf has killed six. Not to mention the other crimes.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around himself in a tight hug. 

“Caleb, what is this?” Maude asked. 

“It’s a cult, Maude. Deep in the park.” He explained. “I got out. These men are going to raid it, tomorrow morning, to arrest the man who ruined all these lives.” 

Maude’s big eyes were filled with hurt and shock. 

“This was here all along?” She whispered. “All these missing babies?” 

“There is so much more.” Caleb said gently. “You were always kind to me, Maude. There is a storm coming. A media storm. You need to be ready. When this breaks, the shit will hit the fan and every news outlet in the world will be here.” He whispered to her. 

“I’ll let the others know. Tony needs to clean some more rooms.” She laughed. 

“Ja, he really does.” Caleb said. 

“Darling, here you go.” Molly passed him a plate. On it was a sandwich, fries and some fruit, and none of the food was touching. He kissed Caleb’s temple and Maude raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, he’s the one I’m wrapped around.” Molly laughed. Caleb blushed and hid his face in Molly’s shoulder. 

“Oh darling I’m sorry.” Molly laughed, kissing his forehead again. “Now I’m going to steal Maude for a bit, alright?” He grabbed the big woman and led her back to the food, talking about something he wanted to try with her sandwiches. 

Caleb sat down and dug out his book. He ate as he read, taking his time and picking out the bad textures in his sandwich. He was working on the fries when he overheard the men near him, the cops, gossiping. 

“And she wanted me to eat her ass, can you believe it?” One of them said. 

“Well did you?” Another asked. 

“Fuck no, that’s gross.” The first cop said. 

“And I bet you don’t eat pussy either.” A new voice said. 

“Fuck that.” 

“Man you have not lived until you’ve had a woman sit on your face.” The third voice replied and they all laughed. 

Caleb tuned them out but something stuck with him. He found that he wanted to bend Molly over and put his mouth on Molly’s ass until Molly was crying out his name. It must feel good, if people asked for it, and he wanted to make Molly feel good in bed. A plan started to form in Caleb’s mind as he finished his lunch. 

“Darling, you have to try this.” Molly sat down next to him, pushing a slice of pie his way. The fruit was dark and fat and glossy and the crust was covered in sprinkled sugar. “I think she puts heroine in her pies. We need to get this recipe from her for Jester. If we don’t Jester will strangle us.” 

Caleb took the pie and ate a bit, then blinked. It was sweet and tart and the fruit was still firm in his mouth and the crust was buttery and crumbly and he moaned. 

“Darling, please, keep those noises to a minimum.” Molly muttered in his ear. 

“Behave you.” Caleb chided with a tiny smile. 

“Never.” Molly gently tugged on the lobe of his ear and Caleb laughed gently. 

“I am glad you are here with me.” Caleb confessed as he ate his pie. 

“I’m glad I’m here too.” Molly leaned into Caleb and rested his hand on his boyfriend’s thigh. He moved snake-quick and stole a bit of pie from Caleb’s plate. “I meant what I said when you came back.” He turned to look Caleb in the face, licking blackberry juice from his thumb. “Don’t you dare go where I can’t follow, Caleb Widogast.” 

Caleb smiled gently and wiped a bit juice from the corner of Molly’s mouth. 

“I have no intention of leaving your side, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” He confessed softly. 

Winters clapped her hands and Maude shot Molly a wink as everyone in the room headed back to their seats, laden with pie. Maude vanished as the lights were lowered. 

The rest of the day passed much like the first half, with Molly eating every slice of pie he could get his hands on and ended up sliding deep into a foodcoma on Caleb’s lap. He woke to the sound of scraping chair and Caleb’s hair in his lap. 

“Come on, meeting is over for today.” Caleb said. His voice was hoarse and he looked tired. 

“Are you all right?” Molly asked. 

“I am tired.” Caleb confessed. 

“Maude wants us to drop by the diner on our way back to the hotel.” Molly rose to his feet and stretched. 

“You have not even been here a day and you are making friends.” Caleb mused. 

“I’m a friendly person.” Molly laughed. “Come on darling, let’s go.” He held out his hand for Caleb. Caleb rose and Molly tangled his fingers as he led him out into the Wyoming night. They walked together silently to the diner and Molly pushed the door open. 

“There you are!” Maude called out. “I thought they’d never let you out.” She was behind the counter and she smiled at them. 

“Oh my God I ended up taking a nap.” Molly threw himself into a barstool with a dramatic sigh. 

“Do not be so dramatic, Mollymauk.” Caleb chided gently. “It was hardly boring.” 

“We had a twenty minute long discussion on poison ivy, Caleb.” Molly pouted. 

“Well, once you’ve used that for toilet paper you don’t make that mistake again.” Maude said. Molly blinked. 

“Now, that’s a story I wanna hear.” He grinned at her and she cackled. 

“Once this blows over you can buy me a beer and we can talk.” She said. “Ja-Caleb, sorry, Caleb, how does that chicken fried steak sound?” 

Caleb’s eyes lit up and he nodded. 

“Ja, that sounds wonderful.” He beamed. “Is there any way we can get it to go?” He asked. 

“Of course.” She said. “You’ve had a long day.” She puttered into the back. 

Molly sighed, leaning against Caleb. 

“I know, schatz.” Caleb wrapped an arm around Molly. 

“Is this what you did for a whole month?” He asked, looking up at Caleb. 

“Ja.” He nodded. “We got even more details. There were schedules I gave them, down to the five minute mark, for the people at the compound.”

“Caleb, are you ready for this?” Molly asked. He put his elbows on the counter and looked up at his boyfriend. 

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked. 

“They’re going to want you there. In a van, watching the raid.” Molly explained. 

“I know.” Caleb muttered. 

“You think you can handle that?” Molly asked. “I’m asking as your boyfriend.” He reached out and tucked a strand of Caleb’s hair behind his ear. 

“I do not know. But I have to be there.” Caleb sighed. “There are children there Molly. They will so lost and confused. I cannot let those children be in a sea of unfriendly faces.” He brought them all into the world, every one of them, and he had helped raise them. “They will loose one or both of their parents. Molly, they need a familiar face.” 

“Alright.” The door opened with a chime. “I’ll be there.” Molly said. 

“You don’t need to be.” Caleb said. 

“No. I need to be. Where you go, I go.” Molly said simply. “I’m not leaving you. In every sense of that phrase. I’m in for the long haul, Caleb. For good or bad, better or worse.” 

“Why do those sound like marriage vows?” Caleb muttered. 

“Because they are. In a way.” Molly smiled at him. 

“Mommy look! He’s got cotton candy hair!” A tiny voice from the end of the diner gasped. 

“Gracie, it’s not nice to point!” Molly turned his head and there was a mother and daughter. The daughter was perhaps four at the oldest and she was running down the length of the place to Molly. She had her mother’s blonde hair and brown eyes. Her mother darted after her and scooped her up. 

“I am so sorry, we’ve been trying to teach her not to run.” She said with a pointed look to her daughter. 

“Oh it’s alright.” Molly reached up and took his curls out of the bun and they tumbled down past his collarbone. “Hi there Gracie! I’m Molly.” 

“Hi Molly.” She waved at Molly from her mother’s hip. 

“Do you wanna touch my hair?” He beamed at the little girl. She nodded and smiled reached out with both hands. Molly leaned forward and she ran her tiny fingers through his curls. 

“Mommy it’s so soft!” She laughed. 

“I take very good care of my hair.” Molly explained. He laughed as she buried her face in his curls. 

“I am sorry.” The mother said to Caleb. “For interrupting your dinner.” 

“Ah, really it is fine.” Caleb said. “She is just a child. We love children.” He said truthfully. 

“Oh. Y’all are…together?” The mother asked. Caleb nodded gently. 

“Well that’s a sight.” She laughed. 

“How do you mean?” Caleb asked gently. 

“Well, a man like him that looks like a rock star and you kinda look like some sort of teacher. Opposites attract, they say.” She beamed. “We have to go be meeting daddy now, say bye Gracie.” She bumped her daughter. 

“Bye Molly!” The little girl waved. 

“Bye Gracie!” Molly waved and kept waving as they walked into another part of the diner and out of sight. 

“You are good with children.” Caleb remarked. 

“I love kids.” Molly said with a grin. “They’re so open and eager curious.” 

“Ja, they are.” Caleb watched Molly’s face and looked around the diner. It was empty and he took the chance to sneak a kiss. He hadn’t had the chance to kiss Molly since they left the motel this morning. Molly sighed and cupped Caleb’s cheek gently. 

“God I missed that.” Molly muttered. 

“I kissed you this morning.” Caleb pulled away. 

“Yeah, this morning.” Molly pouted. 

“When we get our dinner and we are in the room I will kiss you all you like.” Caleb said gently. “And more.” 

“More?” Molly raised an eyebrow. 

“I…overheard something today and I-ah-would like to try it with you. It is not a topic of conversation for public.” Caleb confessed. 

“Well, I’m interested.” Molly said, rising up to a sitting position as Maude came out of the back with bags of goodies. 

“Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and those brownies you like Caleb. And the blackberry pie for your boy.” She shoved the bags over and Caleb dug out his wallet. “Oh no you don’t.” Maude said, stepping back. 

“Maude please.” Molly said, wallet in hand. “Let us pay.” 

“Nope. If a fraction of what I’ve heard is true you have suffered enough Caleb. And Molly, you’ve done right by this boy. That’s all I need to know.” She refused to take the money and vanished into the back. 

“Yeah well she can’t refuse it if I shove it in the tip jar so there.” Molly said, sticking a twenty in the tip jar. He stuck his tongue out at the swinging door and Caleb laughed. 

“You are a child, Mollymauk.” He teased, taking the bags. 

“Yeah but I have fun.” Molly pushed the door open and they headed to their motel. 

Caleb shut the door with his hips as Molly bounded to the bed. He put the foot down before beginning the process of tugging his boots off. 

“You know, you could wear normal clothes. Like a normal person.” Caleb mused as he pulled off his shoes. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Molly asked. He slid out of his boots before peeling his pants down like a banana. He sat on bed, not bothering to pull on sweats. It just was too damn hot and leather did not breathe. He dug out the food and opened the boxes as Caleb took off his shoes and belt. 

Caleb sat on the bed and ate slowly as Molly devoured his meal. Maude had made sure that his food was put into separate containers so that none of it was touching. 

“I am worried about the children, Molly.” Caleb confessed. 

“Talk to me, love.” Molly turned, crossing his legs as he ate the steak with his hands like some sort of barbarian. 

“The children that were born there have never lived in the outside world.” He said gently. “Some are very young, still in babes in arms really, others are older. Jacob is eighteen already. I….Molly, I am worried about how they will adjust to life out here. It’s totally different.” He muttered. 

“Caleb,” Molly licked his fingers clean before holding Caleb’s hands. “We have to cross that bridge when we get there.” He said gently. “Alright? We can’t worry and fuss over every little thing.” 

“Have you met me?” Caleb said with a sad, self-depreciating smile. 

“Yes. I have.” Molly grinned. “I’ve met the smart, charming, handsome, funny man who I have fallen in love with.” 

“Who is that charming, handsome, funny man?” Caleb muttered.“I must meet him and ask for advice.” 

Molly said nothing, he just kissed Caleb. 

“None of that now, love.” Molly spoke softly. “I love you and nothing can change that.” He cupped Caleb’s face and kissed him, sliding his tongue into Caleb’s mouth. 

“Keep that up and I will not be able to eat dinner.” Caleb muttered against Molly’s mouth.

“Oh?” Molly asked, voice heavy with heat. “Why not?” 

“Because I will be eating you instead.” Caleb tugged on Molly’s lip ring with his teeth before settling back and scraping the rest of the mashed potatoes from the carton. 

“You _tease_.” Molly groaned. Caleb could see his cock twitching in his boxers and smiled gently. 

“Again, tease implies that I will not go through with it.” Caleb said. “I fully intend on having you tonight, if you’ll let me. I….overheard some conversation and I wish to try something with you.” 

“Caleb, are you asking me if I want to experiment and try new things with you?” A slow smile spread over Molly’s face. 

“Ah-ja?” Caleb asked. Molly beamed at him, kissing him fully. His tongue was hot and slick against Caleb’s own and he whined at the feeling of Molly against him. 

“I am so down for this.” He grinned. “I’ve never had motel sex, actually. First time for everything!” 

“Ja.” Caleb said. “Finish dinner and then shower, alright?” 

“Oh? What do plan to do to me?” Molly asked, digging into his pie. 

“That is for me to know and for you to anticipate.” Caleb muttered, taking a bite of his brownie. He watched a slow flush creep over Molly’s face. 

“Damn I love it when you get like this.” Molly muttered as he finished his pie. 

“Like what?” Caleb asked. 

“Dominant.” Molly said, his voice thick with want. “I love it when you take control and tell me what to do.” 

“You are such a brat I doubt that I could get you to obey.” Caleb teased. 

“What are you gonna do? Spank me?” Molly stuck his tongue out and took the last bite of his pie. 

“I might yet.” Caleb said calmly, making Molly choke on bite of crust. Caleb watched the way Molly’s eyes darkened and his tongue flicked over his lip. “Do you want me to?” He asked. “Do you want me to bend you over my knee? To paddle you until that pert little ass of yours is bright red and covered in my handprints?” 

“Yes.” Molly gasped. His cock was fully hard in his boxers now. 

“Good to know. Go shower, perle.” Caleb stood and gathered up the garbage. 

“Tease! You horrible tease! You’re going to drive me mad Caleb.” Molly whined. He stood and headed toward the bathroom. The moment he climbed off the bed there was a swishing noise and then a smack as Caleb’s hand connected with his ass. Molly whined, head falling back as his cock throbbed as the sharp pleasure-pain bloomed on his ass. 

“Shower. Now.” Caleb ordered. “You are not touch yourself for anything other than getting clean. I want you hard when you get out.” Caleb ordered. Molly was flushed and panting, lip bitten and hard in his boxers while Caleb was seemingly unaffected by the and goddamn if that didn’t make Molly’s cock throb. 

“Yes, Caleb.” Molly muttered meekly. He padded into the shower and debated about breaking the rules just to get Caleb to paddle him like he said, but something told him that Caleb was just getting the hang of being dominant, and he didn’t want to break that grip. Molly obeyed, pouting the whole time he showered. 

Caleb took care of the trash and brushed the crumbs away. He laid out their clothes for tomorrow, frowning at Molly’s choices. He had absolutely no normal clothing, it seemed. It was all bright neons and leather and skin-tight denim, including that truly ugly shirt that Caleb had bought him in D.C. 

Caleb found the calmest clothing of Molly’s he could and laid them out for the morning. He shed his own clothing and picked up Molly’s that had been removed and put them in suitcases for when they got home. He dug out the bottle of lube and put it on the bed next to him. He stared at it, waiting for the fear to rise up again. 

It didn’t. 

It wasn’t the same fear that he felt this time. It was no longer the throat-clenching terror an animal caught in a trap. It was fear, yes, but mixed with something else. It was fear mixed with joy. It was anticipation, what Caleb was feeling now. He was excited to try this with Molly, to see if Molly liked it. 

He picked up his book and waited for the shower to turn off. When it did he padded to the bathroom and slid inside, shutting the door to keep the steam and heat in, lube in hand. 

“Hey there.” Molly muttered. He was standing in front of the sink, naked and wet and beautiful. He shot Caleb a smile over his shoulder as he ran a comb through his curls. Wet they dragged down to past his nipples, and Caleb brushed the pads of a finger over them. 

“Hallo perle.” Caleb muttered. He stepped close, running his fingers over Molly’s tattoos. He pressed a kiss to the pyramid and then to cluster of daises and then to the center of the black eyed susan’s. His fingers trailed over the scars on Molly’s pale skin as he licked up the water he found. 

“Oh you are in a delightful mood.” Molly laughed. Caleb placed the lube on the counter and kissed Molly. 

“You have no idea.” Caleb muttered darkly. He felt Molly shudder in his arms and he gripped Molly’s hips tight. “You are not to cum. You are going to wait until I give you permission, ja?” 

“And if I don’t?” Molly asked. 

“Then I will have to fuck you, leave you hard and wanting, and not fuck you until we get home.” He kissed Molly as he whined and pouted. 

“I’ll behave.” Molly said darkly. 

“Good.” He kissed Molly again before kissing down his spine. He kissed every flower he found and every knob of bone and every scar. He laved them with his tongue as he sunk to his knees, his hands running down Molly’s legs. He urged Molly’s legs apart and ran his hands up and up and up Molly’s long, long legs. He kissed Molly’s back dimples as his knees hit the floor and his hands bent Molly over at the waist. 

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Molly gasped. He was shaking already, Caleb’s gentle touches and kisses starting a fire in his belly. His cock had softened a bit during his shower but now was fully erect again. Caleb just chuckled and bit down on the globe of Molly’s left asscheek gently. He ran his hands over Molly’s back and spread his cheeks before slowly and deliberately running his tongue over Molly’s hole. 

“Oh, yes you are.” Molly babbling, gasping. “Oh fuck yes, I love this. Where did you get this idea? I haven’t brought it up.”

Molly’s arms were already shaking as he felt Caleb’s tongue slid along his entrance. He was gasping and a low sweat had broken out on his temples. He gasped when Caleb flicked his tongue against him and then moaned deep on his chest when felt light suction. 

“Oh God.” He whined. “Yes, Caleb.” His elbows gave out and he arched his back, wet hair falling in his face. 

Caleb moaned as he heard Molly babble. He knew he was doing a good job in bed when Molly started to talk. He talked all the time, but when Caleb was being especially skilled his mouth ran miles ahead of the rest of him. Caleb slid his tongue inside of Molly as best as he could as Molly talked and talked and talked. 

“Oh God Caleb, holy fuck.” Molly wailed. “Please, Caleb, fuck you’re so good at this, holy shit why are you so talented at eating ass good God.” Molly dropped his head to the cold marble, shaking. 

Caleb snaked his hand around Molly’s front and ran a finger up the ladder of piercings in Molly’s cock. Molly cried out, head flying back as his hips rocked into the touch. 

“Oh God, please Caleb.” Molly licked his dry lips. “More.” He begged. ‘’Please, I need more, I need your fingers or your cock. Please, fuck me with that beautiful cock of yours.”

Caleb pulled back, gasping for breath. His own length was hard against his belly and his jaw was starting to ache. 

“Do you think you have been good enough?” He asked gently. He turned his head and sucked a mark into the flesh of Molly’s perfect ass. 

“Yes.” Molly nodded. “Please Caleb. Please fuck me.” Caleb made a noise as he rose to his feet. 

“I do not know, perle.” He mused. He kissed up Molly’s spine and over his shoulders and up his neck. Molly shuddered and let his head fall to one side so Caleb could suck and mark to his heart’s content. “I think I like you like this better. Hard and desperate and needy for me.” He put two fingers to Molly’s mouth and he laved them with his tongue as he pulled them into his mouth. 

“Look at you.” Caleb mused, watching Molly in the mirror. Their eyes locked and for the first time in his life, Caleb’s skin didn’t crawl. He didn’t have the urge to look away, when he was looking at someone’s eyes in a mirror. 

“Look at you, you pretty little slut.” He muttered, running his lips over Molly’s ear. “Spread wide, bent over, ass in the air, my fingers in your mouth to keep you from begging for my cock.” 

Molly was beautiful. His back was arched and his pretty mouth was wrapped around Caleb’s fingers in a way that made his cock twitch, there was a sex flush creeping down his neck and chest, he was hard and leaking onto the counter, and his eyes were blown black with lust. 

“What a pretty little whore you are.” Caleb muttered. Molly whined, eyes fluttering shut as he arched his back. Caleb’s free hand came down and smacked Molly’s ass and Molly’s mouth fell open around his fingers in a gasping whine. 

“I wonder how’d you like a toy inside of you.” Caleb mused. He pulled his slick fingers from Molly’s mouth and traced them around his entrance. He teased Molly as he whined, sucking a lovebite into the pale skin of his neck. 

“Caleb, please.” Molly begged. “Please I feel so empty, I need something, I need to filled, please.” 

“You need to be fucked, you mean.” Caleb muttered darkly in Molly’s ear. Molly whined, nodding. “I wonder what you would do to be filled. Would you take a toy? Perhaps one of those plugs I have seen on the internet? The kind that you can pump and fill and fill and make bigger and bigger.” 

“Yes!” Molly hissed. He had wanted one of those for a long time damn. 

“Too bad you only have my cock tonight.” Caleb mused. “Perhaps I should wait until we get home, so you won’t be disappointed.” 

“No, Caleb please!” Molly sobbed, making something warm and dark and possessive bloom in Caleb’s chest. 

“You want me to fuck you?” Caleb asked. Molly nodded and Caleb grabbed the lube. He popped it open and slicked up two fingers before sliding one of them slowly, slowly inside. 

“Oh God.” Molly groaned, letting his head fall to the counter. The motion arched his back beautifully for Caleb, who sucked a mark right in the center of the tattoos. “Please.” He sobbed. 

He floating at the edge of subspace and he rocked his ass back into Caleb’s hand. “Please.” He begged again. Caleb swatted at his ass again and the sharp, delightful pain sent him tumbling headfirst down the rabbit hole.

Caleb saw the tension bleed from Molly’s shoulders as his eyes fluttered shut. His mouth dropped into a little ‘o’ and soft whines and gasps were falling from his lips. 

“Schatz, can I get a color?” Caleb asked, concerned as what the fuck was happening to Molly. 

“Green.” Molly mumbled. “So green. Green as grass.” 

Caleb trusted Molly to tell him if something was off. Caleb trusted Molly to tell him the truth. Caleb trusted Molly not to lie to him. 

So he kept going. 

He slid a second finger inside of Molly and he sobbed with it, voice cracking. 

“So beautiful for me.” Caleb muttered. He watched Molly in the mirror, enchanted by the play of emotions across his boyfriend’s beautiful face. Molly was always open and easy to read, which is why Caleb had grown so fond of him at first, but now every single emotion was painted across Molly’s beautiful face. Molly was in pure bliss, eyes closed and tiny whines falling from his face. 

“Do you want me to take you now?” Caleb asked, “Or do you want a third?” 

“Now.” Molly opened his eyes and locked his gaze with Caleb. “Now.” Caleb took the moment to pull his hand free and slick himself up with more lube. Molly gave a petulant whine as Caleb left him empty. 

“Look at me.” Caleb gasped, hand coming up to Molly’s throat. His boyfriends’ stunning gray eyes fluttered open and they locked gazes in the mirror. 

“You are going to look at me when I take you.” Caleb snarled into Molly’s ear. He watched Molly’s pupils dilate even further and the pulse in his neck jump. “You will not break eye contact, and you will ask me if you can cum.” Caleb ordered. 

“Yes.” Molly gasped. “Yes, Caleb I’ll be good.” 

“Good boy, perle.” Caleb muttered as he lined himself up and slowly slid home. He was unafraid to watch Molly’s face as he entered him, and he got to see all the flickers of emotion and lust as they came through Molly’s eyes. He watched as Molly tried to keep his eyes open but as Caleb bottomed out they flicked shut. 

“Mollymauk.” Caleb whispered. “What did I say about your eyes?” Molly’s eyes flew open as Caleb threaded his fingers into the hair at the base of Molly’s scalp. 

“To keep them open.” He muttered. Caleb slowly tugged Molly’s head back until his throat was exposed. 

“And what did you just do?” He asked. His cock was screaming at him to move, to rut into Molly’s tight heat, to climax inside of him, marking him from the inside and the out. Caleb held himself firm, waiting. 

“They closed.” Molly muttered. 

“Good.” Caleb kissed the corner of Molly’s mouth as he fucked into him. Molly’s mouth dropped open as he cried out, hand slamming on the mirror. 

“Oh God, Caleb.” He wailed, his head dropped forward. 

“No, no you will look at me.” Caleb snarled. “I want to see your face as I fuck you.” He demanded. Molly sobbed, tears forming in his eyes. Caleb kissed them away as he set a demanding pace. Pleasure was racing along his spine as his thighs and abs were starting to burn with use 

Molly was crying out, his voice echoing through the bathroom and Caleb was sure they were going to get a noise complaint but it was a price worth paying to see this. It was worth it to see Molly, fucked out with pleasure, mouth open, gray eyes wide and locked with Caleb’s as he sucked mark after mark after mark into Molly’s long, pale neck. 

“Caleb.” Molly gasped out, voice wrecked. 

“Yes, perle?” Caleb asked. His hips kept fucking and Molly pushed up, changing the angle. The head of Caleb’s cock hit the bundle of nerves inside of him and Molly cried out, body spasming with pleasure. 

“Oh God oh God.” Molly’s voice cracked as he scrabbled on the counter for purchase. 

“You are so good for me.” Caleb muttered. “Taking my cock like the good little whore you are.” Molly nodded eagerly. 

“Yours.” He gasped out. The same dark possession that had lurked in Caleb’s gut flared at the word. He turned Molly’s head and kissed him roughly. He grabbed Molly’s hip with his free hand and pulled Molly back onto his cock with every thrust. 

“Mine.” He snarled against Molly’s mouth. 

“May I cum?” Molly gasped out. “Please, Caleb I’m so close.” Caleb could tell that Molly was telling the truth. His breath was catching in his throat and his arms were shaking. 

“No.” Caleb ground to a half, hips pressed to Molly’s ass. A broken wail escaped Molly’s throat as Caleb stopped moving. “If you want to cum, you will have to beg me for it.” He growled. His voice was thick with lust and his accent was heavy. The power he was wielding over the force of nature that was Mollymauk Tealeaf made his head spin. 

“Please.” Molly sobbed. “Please Caleb I need to cum. I need to cum so badly I can taste it, please, let me cum, I’ll do anything.” His voice broke as he whimpered. 

“Anything?” Caleb asked, breath catching in his throat. 

“Yes. Anything. Anything you want, just please for the love of God let me cum!” Molly was pleading, tears in his eyes. Caleb moved his hand from Molly’s hip to wrap around his cock. 

“You will fuck yourself on my cock. If you can get to orgasm from that, you can cum.” Caleb said gently. His voice was calm and smooth and collected, totally unlike the raging fire in his blood. He wanted to fuck and to bite and to mark and to claim and to take. He appeared controlled and calm, the perfect Dominant. 

“Yes.” Molly nodded. He rocked his hips, crying out. He shuddered at the feeling of Caleb’s cock in his ass and Caleb’s hand on his cock. 

“Perfect.” Caleb gasped out. “Fuck, Molly.” He was growing desperate for his own release, and he knew exactly where he wanted it. 

“Caleb.” Molly gasped. He was rocking in earnest now, breath catching in his throat again. “CalebCalebCaleb.” He was chanting Caleb’s name, unable to rip his eyes from Caleb’s sky blues. 

“That’s it perle.” Caleb muttered in his ear. “Fuck yourself on my cock. Take your pleasure. Scream my name. Let the world know whose perfect little whore you are.” 

Molly did just that. He cried out Caleb’s name as his cum spattered on the mirror and the sink and Caleb’s hand. His knees gave out from the forced of his orgasm and Caleb held him up, filthy hand going to his chest. Caleb had to bite down on Molly’s neck as he clenched around his cock to keep from spilling too soon. 

They stayed like that, Caleb holding Molly tight to him until Molly started to whine. 

“Alright, perle, alright.” Caleb pulled out of Molly with a hiss and Molly turned in his arms and kissed him. 

“Caleb.” Molly nuzzled at his jaw softly. “Please.” 

“Please what, perle.” Caleb muttered. Molly was still off in that space that made him soft and pliant. He dropped to his knees and moved to take Caleb’s cock in his mouth. 

“No, not that tonight.” Caleb muttered. His cock had just been balls deep in Molly’s ass and he was not going to put it into Molly’s mouth. That was unhygienic. Molly whined, running his hands up Caleb’s legs. 

“You were so good for me tonight.” Caleb threaded the fingers of his clean hand into Molly’s hair as the other came to work his cock. “Would you like a reward?” He gasped. 

“Yes.” Molly said. “Caleb, please.” 

“Open your mouth for me, perle.” Caleb gasped out. Molly looked wrecked as he opened his mouth and held out his tongue for Caleb. He was bitten and flushed, with tear tracks down his cheeks and Caleb could see a bite mark blooming in the meat of his shoulder. 

“You are beautiful on your knees for me.” Caleb gasped out. His thighs were starting to shake and he was getting closer by the moment. They locked eyes and Molly ran his tongue over his top lip in clear anticipation. 

Caleb swore as he came, the very first shot of his seed landing on Molly’s tongue and lips. The rest landed on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose and across his pretty eyes, painting his face in white. Caleb’s own knees gave out as he gasped for breath, shaking. 

He wrapped his arms around Molly and rested his head forehead against Molly’s, heedless of the mess. 

“I love you.” Molly said softly. His arms came to wrap around Caleb and hold him tight. “I love you so much.” He dropped his head to Caleb’s Shoulder, smearing his cum all over his skin. 

He turned his head and kissed Molly’s temple. He held Molly close, cuddling him as they came down from their high. He reached up and fished about until he found a towel and then manage to wet it in the sink. He pulled back and started to wipe at Molly’s face, cleaning his seed from his boyfriend’s skin. 

“Holy shit.” Molly said. He yawned, jaw cracking. “Holy shit Caleb.” 

“I-ah-take it you liked it?” Caleb was now unsure, scared and fragile, like before. He found he liked the other Caleb better. 

“Yes.” Molly laughed. “Oh my god, yes.” Molly preened under Caleb’s touch. “I don’t know where that part of you came from but holy shit.” He laughed. 

“I am glad.” He said. He threw the dirty towel in the corner after wiping his hand and body and Molly collapsed into him, sending them both to bathroom floor. 

“I’m gonna nap.” He announced. “I’m gonna nap right here.” He snuggled into Caleb’s chest. Caleb laughed, a full deep belly laugh that came with a smile that split his face in two. 

“I love you.” He gasped out, laughing. 

“What?” Molly pulled back. “What did you just say?” 

“I-ah-I love you?” Caleb phrased it as a question. “I love you, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Molly blinked and then started to cry. He wrapped his arms around Caleb, crying into his neck. 

“I love you too.” Molly sobbed out. He pulled back, beaming and wiping his face. “I love you too, Caleb Widogast.” 

Caleb broke into another brilliant smile and Molly cupped his cheeks. “I love you too, Caleb.” Molly kissed him again, and Caleb tugged him into his lap. 

“I love you.” He repeated against Molly’s mouth. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Now that he had said it the dam inside of him had been broken. His love for Molly came tumbling out in a rush, past his lips and into the world. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He kissed every part of Molly’s face he could reach; his cheeks and his eyelids and his nose and his mouth and his temple and the feathers of the tattoo and every bit of him Caleb could find. 

“I love you so goddamn much Caleb.” Molly wiped his tears and smiled. “Look at you. Look how far you’ve come.” He whispered in awe. “Three months ago this wouldn’t have been a fever dream, but now look at you!” Molly beamed with pride. 

Caleb paused and realized that Molly was right. That three months ago, sitting here, cuddling the man he loved would have been out of the reach of his greatest fantasies, but now it was a fact of life. 

“Thanks to you.” Caleb said gently. He reached up and cupped Molly’s face. “I never would have gotten this far without your heart.” He pressed a hand to Molly’s chest and felt that heart beating under his palm. “I love you, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” 

“Say it again.” Molly said. 

“I love you, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Caleb beamed. Molly started to cry again, wiping at his face. 

“I never thought, ever, in a million years, I’d hear you say that. I thought-fuck I thought you were too traumatized to be able to say it. I know how that makes me sound but-God Caleb-you are so wonderful and surprising in the best ways.” Molly babbled. “I never ever ever thought I’d hear the man I love say he loves me too.” 

“I love you.” Caleb said simply. “I am not good with words like you. I am not good with fancy words and flowery statements. I just know that I love you.” Molly was his rock, his heart, his soul. Molly had become his anchor. 

“I love you too.” Molly said. “I love you so much I feel like I’ll burst with it. I fell in love with you nearly three months ago. I fell in love with you then, and the fact you love me now is the most incredible gift in this whole world.” He cupped Caleb’s cheeks and kissed him. 

“Goddamn I love you so much.” He gasped, crying again. 

“Molly, schatz, are you alright?” Caleb asked. “You are crying a lot.” 

“Of course I’m crying!” Molly laughed. “I’m the happiest I can remember being.” He confessed. “These are happy tears, darling.” 

“I still hate to see you cry. Even more so knowing I am the cause.” Caleb said gently. He bent his head and kissed the tears away. 

“Come on, let’s go sleep.” Molly said, rising from Caleb’s lap. 

“Ja.” Caleb muttered. “I will join you.” He kissed Molly one last time and took his time cleaning up. He washed the cum from the sink and wiped the mirror down and brushed his teeth and combed his hair. Molly had the television on, but muted. The light danced over the room, showcasing Molly’s naked body in the cool light. 

He was long and lean and elegant, pale and covered in Caleb’s marks and he was beautiful. Caleb climbed into bed, brushing some hair from Molly’s shoulder. Molly rolled over and snuggled close to Caleb, tucking his face into Caleb’s shoulder. 

“G’night. Love you.” Molly mumbled. 

“Good night. I love you too, schatz.” Caleb kissed him softly before pulling the covers over them.


	22. Note From the Author

Hey guys, I know it's been a while, but we need to talk. 

I have depression. Like, really, really "do not trust around sharp objects alone" kind of depression. 

I have been unmediated and untherapied since 2013. I do not know how I am still alive. 

That's why I haven't been able to work on this piece. 

I'm sorry. Ever since Molly died my world's gotten darker and darker and I just got tired of fighting it. I can't play in a land so dark as Trauma Cafe while in my head I just want to die. I'm sorry. I had a breakdown on Thursday and I am starting therapy on Tuesday. I'm going to get medicated, and I am going to get better. And when I do, I promise, I will finish this. I know what I want for them, for our boys. Trust me, the end is near. I promise. 

Please, give me some time. 

Thank you. 

\- Pepper (mebeshe)


	23. Preparations

Caleb woke to Astrid standing over the bed, Molly in her arms. She was in her killing clothes, black on black on black. Her hand was clamped over Molly’s mouth, and his gray eyes were wide with fear as her hunting knife was held to Molly’s bare throat. 

He didn’t question how she got in. If anyone could do it, it was her. She could break in, rouse Molly, pull him to his knees on the mattress all without making a sound to wake Caleb, who was a very light sleeper. 

“Astrid.” He gasped gently. “Please.” He held out a hand. 

“I loved you, you know.” She said, before slitting Molly’s throat. Caleb felt Molly’s hot blood hit him and his lover gurgled and flailed as Caleb screamed. 

He jolted awake, gasping for breath. Caleb was covered in a fine sweat as Molly woke on the bed. He ran his hand over Molly’s throat, finding it whole and safe. He slammed the bedside table with his hand, turning on the lamp and his boyfriend covered his face with his hands. 

“Caleb?” Molly muttered as his lover tumbled from the bed. Caleb turned on every light in the room. He jiggled the door knob to make sure it was locked but Caleb jiggled it violently again to make sure it was steady. 

“Caleb?” Molly asked again, watching as Caleb checked the locks on all the windows. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. Caleb dropped to his knees, checking under the bed. He looked in the closets and then in the bathtub and under the sink. 

“Caleb.” Molly rose and grabbed him, and Caleb flinched. 

Caleb covered his face, whimpering in fear and pulling from Molly’s touch. Molly let go of Caleb and Caleb started to shake. 

“Darling, it’s me.” Molly said gently. “It’s your Molly. I’m here. What’s wrong, talk to me darling, you could always talk to me.” He spoke like he was talking to a feral animal, and in some ways Caleb was. There was a look in Caleb’s blue eyes that Molly hadn’t seen since the day they met. 

Caleb was terrified. 

“Hey, Caleb, my love. What’s wrong?” Molly asked. Caleb blinked, coming back to himself. 

“Nightmare.” He gasped out. He rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hands. “A nightmare. Just being silly.” 

“It doesn’t look like something silly.” Molly muttered. He was standing naked in the middle of their motel room and the clock on the bedside table said it was three in the goddamn morning. “Talk to me?” He asked. “C’mon Caleb, you could always talk to me. I got your first word.” He reached out to touch Caleb and then pulled back, remembering how he had flinched from Molly. 

“Please, love, tell me how to help?” He asked. 

Caleb launched himself at Molly, burying his face deep into Molly’s neck. He was shaking like the last leaf of autumn and he gripped Molly so tightly something in his back popped. 

“She killed you.” Caleb muttered. He started to hyperventilate as he remembered the nightmare. “She, she was here and she got in and she killed you and she made me watch and there was so much blood oh God.” He gasped out. 

She could damn well find them. 

She was close, just inside the park. 

She could find Molly. 

“You have to go.” Caleb gasped, shoving Molly away. He was panicking now, terror clawing at his throat. He grabbed Molly’s bag and started packing his boyfriend’s things. The fear was all-consuming, making his whole world focus on one thing: she can find and kill his Mollymauk Tealeaf. She could find and kill his light, his joy, his world, his purpose. She could destroy Caleb by destroying Molly. 

“No.” Molly said, making Caleb drop the bag. “I am not going anywhere.” He moved over to Caleb and he pulled away, his skin crawling. He didn’t want to be touched. He wanted Molly to go. 

“Molly please, she can find you, what was I thinking bringing you here? Stupid. Stupid and selfish.” Caleb found himself unable to breathe, tears filling his eyes. “I’m so selfish. I could get you killed.” 

“Caleb, no.” Molly rushed over and pulled Caleb into a tight hug. “I’m not going anywhere. I am staying here, with you.” 

“Molly, please.” Caleb wriggled, trying to escape his lover’s arms. 

“No.” Molly said. “I am not leaving. I love you. I am not leaving.” Molly’s voice was firm and gently and Caleb broke. He cried, clutching at Molly. His nails left tracks on Molly’s back and shoulders as he clung to Molly. 

“Hey, hey hey it’s alright.” Molly spoke gently, running his arms down Caleb’s back. He was no longer rail thin, and there was a good layer of fat between his ribs and Molly’s hands. “It’s okay. I’m here, I’m alive, she’s not here. I’m safe with you. It’s alright. I’m okay.” Molly kissed Caleb’s hair as he sobbed. “I’m here and I’m alright and I love you.”

Caleb cried again. He held Molly tight and cried. 

“Hush my love, it’s alright.” Molly ran his hand through his red hair. “It’s alright, no need to cry.” 

Caleb slowly calmed down as Molly whispered nonsense words to him. It took a good while for Caleb to stop shaking. The sun had come up and the birds were singing and Caleb had stopped crying. He clung to Molly still, hands on his hips. 

“I am sorry.” He confessed. “I did not mean to...to make a fuss.” He muttered. 

“Caleb, I’ve never seen you that scared. Darling, what happened?” Molly asked, pulling back. He cupped Caleb’s cheeks and wiped the tear tracks away with his thumbs. 

“A nightmare.” Caleb said, shaking his head. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” Molly asked softly.

Caleb shook his head softly, sniffling. He pulled back from Molly and wiped at his cheeks. 

“Ah, sorry I woke you schatz.” He mumbled. 

“Caleb, darling, you can wake me anytime.” Molly said gently. He cupped Caleb’s cheeks and kissed his forehead. “After all, what are boyfriends for if not for comfort?” He asked. 

“Still…feels silly.” Caleb mumbled. He was no longer crying but his eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were splotchy. Caleb was not a pretty crier, like Molly was. 

“Hey, I love you. That means I’m here for you when you have nightmares.” Molly said, kissing Caleb gently. Caleb made a soft, happy noise in his throat and wound his arms around Molly. He broke the kiss to tuck his face into Molly’s throat. 

“How did I ever deserve you?” He mumbled. 

“It’s not a question of deserve, darling.” Molly muttered. “You didn’t deserve all the shit that happened to you, yet it happened anyway. The universe is massive and unordered and pure fucking chaos and things just happen. We have no control.” He threaded his fingers into Caleb’s hair and rocked with his lover softly. “All we can do is be kind to each other.” 

“Is that why you are so nice?” Caleb asked gently. 

“Yup. Nothing we do in this world matters, so why not be kind?” Molly explained. He glanced to the clock and frowned. “Darling, we need to leave soon if we’re going to catch breakfast.” 

“Ah, yes.” Caleb pulled back. “Just…give me a bit, ja?” He asked softly. 

“Of course.” Molly cupped his cheeks and kissed Caleb gently. “I am the luckiest man on the planet.” He beamed. 

He meant it too. How he had ever wooed strong, quiet, gentle Caleb, whose soul bore the marks of all he endured but still faced the world and all its shit on a daily basis, he will never know. All he knew is that when he died, he would stand before God and say ‘you let me love a good man, and I hope I was worthy of him’. 

“You are sap, Mollymauk.” Caleb grumbled, pulling away from him. 

“A sap in love!” Molly laughed. “Come on darling, food awaits!” 

An hour later and they were changed and fed and caffeinated, and meeting the newest additions to the team. They were the leaders of the medical team; the smallest woman and the tallest man that Molly had ever seen. The woman was very very small, with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair pulled into two twins buns on her head and the man was tall and thin, with half his head shaved and other half reaching to his chest and dyed a bright, vibrant pink. Molly was also pretty sure judging by the look in his eyes and the sheer amount of donuts on his plate he was stoned out of his mind. Molly slid up to the dude and shot him a winning smile, knowing he was going to score some pot out of this. 

“Hi there, Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends. Who are you two?” He asked, glancing from the man to the woman and back. 

“I’m Dr. Pike Trickfoot, and this is my college, Dr. Caduceus Clay. Say hi, Clay.” Pike said, drinking her coffee. Molly noted it was pitch black and very thick, yet her hands weren’t shaking at all. Clay didn’t seem to hear her, so she elbowed him in the hip. 

“What? Ah, yeah hi.” Clay’s voice was deep and rough and Molly liked him at once. 

“Hi there.” Molly said, reaching out and stealing a pastry. 

“Schatz, put that back.” Caleb said from behind him. 

“Oh, come on.” Molly whined. Caleb walked around and plucked the pastry from his hand and gave it back to Clay. 

“Sorry about him. He can be a handful.” Caleb said. 

“It’s alright. I’m used to men who are handfuls.” Pike said, nodding. Caleb couldn’t help but smile softly. The tiny woman gave off an aura of calm strength, like she was used to highly dangerous situations and kept a level head in them. Caleb liked her at once. 

“I take it you’re the one who escaped?” She asked him. 

“Ah, yes.” Caleb mumbled, fiddling with his sleeve. 

“You’re very brave.” Pike said softly, looking up at him. 

“No, I am not.” Caleb shook his head softly. 

“Yes, you are.” She said. “Not many people would have had the courage to do what you did.” Her tone was simple and to the point. Caleb averted his gaze and Molly and Clay spoke in quiet tones. Perhaps she was right, perhaps he was braver than he knew. He shook his head at his own thoughts. 

“No, I am not brave.” He said softly. Lucy had been the brave one, his tiny wife made of fire and steel and chutzpah. 

“Well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that.” Pike said gently. She shook his hand with a tiny smile. “It’s good to meet you, Caleb.” 

“And you as well, Dr. Trickfoot.” Caleb spoke softly. 

“Alright, alright, hush up and sit down.” Winters called out. Everyone made their way to their seats, with the two new comers in the very very back. 

“As you can see, we have some new faces with us. They’re the head of the medical team, and they’ll be coming in right after us.” Winters explained. “Caleb, want to tell them what they’re expecting?” She asked. 

“Ah…” Caleb muttered, hanging his head. What was he going to say? “I…I was so out of it..I do not remember what I was like when I first got out.” He admitted. 

“Thankfully I remember.” Molly rose to his feet. “Caleb wouldn’t talk.” He said. “He was taught that speaking is an act of free will, and free will is what will bring about the end. So don’t expect them to talk. Don’t expect them to smile either. Or laugh. It took me two weeks of getting to know Caleb to get a smile from him, and a month to get a laugh.” Molly walked up to the podium. He took command of the place, telling everyone what to expect. 

“They’re going to be scared. They’re going to be skinny. They’re going to be hungry. They have been conditioned to believe that they need permission for everything; to eat, to sleep, to bathe. They will not be in a good place. On top of that, they will have just experienced what I’m sure is going to be a shitshow. They’ve been trained to use guns for years, and they’re brainwashed into thinking you’re coming to rip them away from home. Caleb is the only one who escaped, the only one who broke the brainwashing. He’s the only one who got out, and he’s in a lot of danger doing this for them. They’re not going to be happy. They’re not going to be grateful. They will be cranky and upset.” Molly said. 

“So just….be patient. Be kind. Understand literally their entire world has changed. Show them a bit of kindness. Show them that this new world is a good one.” Molly said, holding out his hands. 

“Are there going to be kids?” One of the rangers asked. Molly looked to Caleb with questioning look. Caleb sighed softly and rose to his feet. 

“Ja. There will be children. There should be ten children, all under the age of fifteen. The youngest should have been born by now, and if they and the mother survived the birth they will be around three months old. None of them will be vaccinated. They will not have any toys or anything of the sort. They were forbidden.” Caleb said softly. 

“Toys were forbidden?” Molly asked, eyes wide. Caleb nodded gently. “Well fuck, that’s horrible.” 

“This kids are going to need a lot of help.” Pike said gently. 

“I have an idea.” Clay said from where he was leaning against the back wall. “What about a toy drive?” He asked. “We ask the people around here if they have any spare toys or blankets or clothing for the kids? We can collect today before we head out tomorrow.” He nodded his head slowly. 

“Ah, that is a good idea. Only you will have a hard time getting the children to take them. Gifts…gifts come with a price.” Caleb muttered. 

“Well, what if you gave it to them?” Pike asked. “You’re one of them, right?” 

“Yes, technically I am.” Caleb said. “Well, I was. I…there have been people sent to kill me. Before this.” There was a sharp inhale from the room. “Obviously they have not managed it.” 

“Thank God.” Molly said softly. Caleb glanced to him and smiled gently. 

“What I am trying to say, is that the children may not accept me like they have. I brought them into this world, and I taught them their letters, yes, but I am now an outsider.” He sighed. “I doubt that they will cling to me like they used.” There was pain in his voice and Molly, who had come to know Caleb and his body language, could see the pain in set of his jaw and how he was hunched into himself, not looking at the gathered people. Molly walked over and blocked the view of the room with his body as he wrapped his arms around Caleb’s shoulders. 

“It’s alright, darling.” He muttered, kissing his hair. Caleb sighed and buried his face in Molly’s stomach gently. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Winters said gently. “Now, we need to form a plan of attack. Rangers, give us the detail on the terrain.” 

They planned for what felt like hours. The soldiers and the Rangers ended up taking over the whole conversation, dragging Caleb and Dr. Trickfoot into it, so Molly was bored out of his skull. He was sulking, playing internet dressup games on his phone until his phone actually died. He forced himself up and slunk out of the room, knowing Caleb was safe here. The thought of Caleb’s safety brought back memories of the nightmare from the night before and he worked his way out of the station, itching for a smoke. He really wanted weed, but that Dr. Clay was no where to be found. Until Molly turned the corner and found the tall man sitting on a crate in the alley behind the station, feeding the birds, smoking what was totally a joint.

Molly liked this doctor. 

“Shouldn’t a doctor be against smoking weed?” Molly asked as he padded up. The birds scattered, but stayed close. They hovered on the edge of the fence, waiting as Molly sat on a crate next to Dr. Clay. 

“I’m a psychiatrist. Weed is good.” Clay nodded, offering Molly the joint. 

“Oh thank fuck you’re a shrink.” Molly sighed, gladly taking the joint. He took a long hit, letting the smoke fill his lungs. Clay had the good stuff, and it went down smooth as silk. 

“Something on your mind, Molly?” Clay asked, leaning back. Molly nodded, feeling the tingling in his scalp that let him know the weed had hit his brain. He slowly exhaled and then started to talk. 

He talked and talked and talked, until his throat was dry and the weed was gone and the sun was setting and there was a faint chill setting in, a whisper of autumn on the night breeze. It spoke of Halloween and cuddling under blankets at night and Molly was eager for it. He hoped Caleb was too. 

He spoke in length about Caleb, about how much he loved him, how much strength and hope he drew from his boyfriend, about how Caleb worried him, about Astrid and the chronic terror that plagued his love. He spoke about how he was loosing weight because of his worry over Caleb, how he now was going to loose sleep because he knew himself and he would stay up and keep Caleb safe from nightmares just like he did for Yasha when she first got to the Cafe, fresh from the loss of both love and home. He spoke about the nightmare and how Caleb wouldn’t talk about it and how feral he had been when he gasped himself awake. He spoke about how Caleb had checked every single possible hiding spot then had tried to get Molly to run back to L. A. in the dead of night. He spoke about how worried he was about Caleb, about his fears about Caleb sliding backward in his recovery, about his fears of Caleb loosing his smile and his voice again. 

He spoke until he couldn’t anymore. 

“That’s heavy.” Clay said. “You have a bit of a burden, if you don’t mind me saying. I’m not saying Caleb’s not worth it, you love him and you two are good for each other from what I can tell, and I know it’s a burden you took yourself, but it’s still a burden.” 

“I know. He’s worth it.” Molly said without hesitation. 

“And the fact that you clearly feel so strongly about that is good. You’re allowed to be worried Molly. You’re allowed to be scared for Caleb. It’s normal. You love him and want to keep him safe.” 

There was something so soothing about the man that Molly felt the tension in his shoulders bleed away. The wild birds had found perches on Clay’s knees and around Molly’s boots and they fluffed up their feathers against the chilly breeze. 

“But Molly, you can’t keep those worries from letting you live your life.” Clay said gently. Molly shut his eyes, knowing Clay was right. 

“I know. I know.” Molly smiled at the other man. “Thanks.” 

“Schatz?” Caleb’s voice called out, fear clear in his tone. He was at the mouth of the alley, Molly’s things in his arms. 

“I’m right here!” Molly called out, standing up. Caleb hurried down the alley, pausing when he saw Clay. 

“Are you alright? I could not find you and I thought-” His voice tightened in his throat and he started to shake. 

“No, no I’m fine.” Molly rushed over and ran his hands gently down Caleb’s arms. “I’m right here. I was just talking to Clay.” He said gently. “I’m fine.” 

“Ah, gut.” Caleb muttered, eyes flickering to the fence and wild bush beyond. “Let’s get back to the hotel, ja? We can get delivery.” He suggested. 

“Good. Can we get pizza? With hot wings?” Molly asked, kissing Caleb’s cheek. 

“Ja. Hot wings are for you.” Caleb muttered. 

“It’s good to see you again Mr. Caleb.” Clay said, rising to his feet. Caleb ducked his head, averting his gaze as normal. “I was hoping to get the chance to talk to you for a moment.” 

“Ah, what about?” Caleb asked, edging toward Molly. Molly could tell that Caleb was uncomfortable so he slid his hand gently to the small of his boyfriend’s back, and he saw a little bit of tension bleed from his love’s jaw. 

“I’m a therapist and I hope it’s not too intrusive to ask a bit about the kind of therapy you got when you first got free? What was the key to helping you get to where you are now, ah so to say?” Clay hunched his shoulders a bit, giving Caleb a lopsided smile. He was charming in disarming way. Molly couldn’t help but like him. 

There was silence in the air before Caleb spoke. “Patience. And understanding. And not,” his voice grew tight and his accent thick, “and not treating me like a freak. People talked to me, even if I didn’t respond. They asked me yes or no questions. It was more respect than I had gotten in a very long time.” 

“Thank you very much for the advice, Mr. Caleb.” Clay said. “I’m going to be in town for the next few weeks helping people around here, so if you need me just come find me, okay?” 

Caleb nodded, not trusting his voice. 

“Good. It’s getting cold out, so get on home, alright? Don’t forget to bundle up.” Clay sounded like a mother hen and Molly couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. 

“Alright Doc, we’ll see you tomorrow. Five am, right?” Molly winced. Clay nodded, smiling serenely. Caleb handed him his things from the station and Molly slipped into his coat before linking arms with Caleb and heading home. 

Much later his legs were shaved and he was full of wings and pizza and Caleb was reading in bed as he was untangling his hair after a shower and something in the moment struck Molly as domestic. Perhaps it was the tv on low in the background, the soft light coming from Caleb’s bedside lamp, and the fact they were pressed against each other, not speaking but sharing space and time and finding warmth and comfort in each other. It was new form of intimacy for Molly; both like and unlike the one he had with Yasha. He loved it. He slowly worked the tangles from his hair and then rested his head against Caleb’s shoulder. His love turned his head and kissed his nose gently, making Molly giggle. 

“Mollymauk, I have a request.” Caleb said, shutting his book. He would remember the page. “I, ah, understand if you do not wish to take me up on what I am about to offer, but I trust that you understand the significance of this, but there is more I must explain.” He put the book on the bed and turned to Molly. 

“Alright love, I’m all ears.” Molly sat cross legged and muted the television with the jab of a thumb. 

“Mollymauk, I ah.” Caleb stumbled, searching for his words. “I would like for you to, I mean, I would like to, ah…how to say this.” He muttered, swearing in German under his breath. Molly felt his heart stutter when Caleb spoke German. It was a good sign; it meant he felt safe. 

“Don’t worry about being fancy.” Molly said, reaching out and taking Caleb’s hands in his. “Just talk to me.” 

“Alright.” Caleb took a steadying breath. “I want you to fuck me, but there is something you have to know.” He spoke slowly and haltingly of the man he had seen castrated, the man he had failed to save, the friend he had watched die. He spoke softly, his voice tight, his grip on Molly’s hands tight as his arms burned with the need to harm himself. 

He just gripped Molly’s hands all the tighter until he was done. 

“Oh Caleb.” Molly reached out and pulled Caleb into a close hug. He wrapped his fingers in those pretty red curls and held his lover close. “I am so sorry. It’s not your fault, and I am so sorry.” He said gently.

“I know. I….Vex has been helping me realize somethings. I will always feel guilty, but she thinks it will fade with time.” He muttered. He ran his fingers up Molly’s spine, feeling the texture of his boyfriend’s skin change when he got to the tattoos. 

“I’m glad she’s helping you. And for the record, yes. If you want to do this tonight, I am so down with this.” Molly pulled back and smiled at Caleb. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Of course.” Caleb said with a smile. 

Molly cupped Caleb’s cheek and kissed him gently. Caleb’s beard tickled and he kissed the other man slowly and sweetly. He nibbled on Caleb’s bottom lip and he inhaled sharply through his nose. 

“Mollymauk.” Caleb gasped, pulling away. 

“I want you to lie down for me, okay darling?” Molly pulled away and started rifling through the bedside table. Caleb took the chance to peel off his shirt before laying back. 

Molly came back, lube in hand, and kissed Caleb as he dropped the bottle to the sheets. Molly made a happy noise in his throat as he ran his hand down Caleb’s neck and chest. Caleb whined gently, reaching up to thread his fingers in Molly’s damp hair. Molly pulled away from the kiss and kissed up Caleb’s jaw and up to his ear. 

“Look at you, being so good for me.” Molly crooned right in his ear. Caleb shuddered at lighting bolted down his spine at the words, and Molly kept talking. “I know you like being told you’re good and it’s the truth Caleb, you’re being so good for me.” 

Molly reached over and ran his the pads of his fingers over a nipple and Caleb mewled softly, writhing on the sheets. His cock was hard in his sweats, and it made Molly’s mouth water, so he just kept talking. He just shut his brain-to-mouth filter off and let all the dirty thoughts pour out. 

“You know what I want to do? I want to give you something nice, because you’re being so good for me. I want you to put your mouth on my cock.” Molly muttered, tugging on Caleb’s earlobe with his teeth gently. 

Caleb was gasping and he could feel the flush running down his neck. Molly’s words were making his head swim and some sort of sweet pleasure-burn was starting at the base of his spine from Molly’s words. He nodded, eager to get his mouth on Molly’s cock again. 

Molly rolled over and kicked off his sweats, leaving him naked on the bed. He lay down and Caleb moved to rest by his hips the bed. 

“Look at you, being so good for me.” Molly reached out and cupped Caleb’s cheek, running his thumb over Caleb’s bottom lip. The red-head whined and opened his mouth, laving the pad of Molly’s thumb with his tongue as his eyes flickered shut. 

“You just love having things in your mouth, don’t you.” Molly mused and Caleb whined. “I’m not complaining at all, this is a good thing for me, trust me darling.” 

Caleb’s eyes were shut and he was bobbing his head as Molly worked his thumb in and out of his mouth. He was very clearly happy here, blissed out, ready and eager to suck cock. 

“Darling, before we start I need you to know that you can stop this at anytime. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything, okay?” Molly asked, cupping Caleb’s cheek. Caleb nodded and paused to kiss Molly’s palm gently. 

“Ja, I know. You are good to me, Mollymauk. I trust you.” He said gently. Tears sprung into Molly’s eyes at the sheer enormity of those words. He knew how far Caleb had come and how much it meant that Caleb actually trusted him enough to respect a ‘no’ and to respect boundaries. 

“I love you Caleb.” 

“I love you too, Mollymauk.” 

Molly had no idea how he got so lucky but he was thanking whatever god was listening as he guided Caleb’s mouth to his cock. Caleb opened with soft, happy sigh and swirled his tongue around Molly’s cock. Molly gasped and kept his eyes open, curling his fingers into the sheets. 

Caleb set up a slow and steady rhythm, bobbing his head as he traced his tongue along the piercings in Molly’s cock. Molly was writhing on the bed by the time Caleb sped up, soft gasps coming from him. He loved that Caleb enjoyed this; he felt no shame in providing this for Caleb because he thoroughly enjoyed it too.

Caleb was making happy noises in his throat as Molly gently cupped the back of his head. He eased his mouth down further on Molly’s length, making his lover swear and his hips jerk of his own accord. Caleb was getting very good at this; he took his time learning Molly’s body and what spots made him twitch and moan. It wasn’t long until Molly’s hips were rocking with Caleb’s head and the room was filled with the sound he was making. 

“Oh God Caleb.” Molly whined. His boyfriend flicked the hoop in the had with his tongue and Molly had to pull Caleb off at the spark of pleasure it caused to grow in his belly. “Keep that up and I’ll cum. I want to finish inside of you.” 

Caleb was blissed out as Molly pulled him into a kiss, and he whined into Molly’s open mouth. 

“Lay on the bed for me, darling?” Molly asked, dragging a pillow down. “Pillow under the hips, okay?” 

Caleb did as his boyfriend asked, feeling a bit exposed as he lay there. He was still clad in his sweats as Molly kissed up his neck and draped his body over Caleb’s. His nerves were starting to grow so Molly’s body on top of his eased the worry away. Molly kissed him slowly and thoroughly, pressing his body to Caleb’s. His weight was on his elbows as Caleb’s hands roamed over Molly’s body, coming to tangle in his hair. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue against Molly’s as he spread his legs and hooked one over Molly’s calves. 

They lay like that for a while, just kissing and sharing space. It was nice just to lay under Molly, basking the weight of him pressing down, kissing him gently. Caleb enjoyed kissing Molly. It was familiar enough to ease any and all anxiety and new enough to be novel. Caleb found himself doubting that he would ever grow tired of kissing Mollymauk. 

“How are you feeling, Caleb?” Molly asked gently. 

“Ah, good. I am feeling good.” Caleb shot his lover a soft smile as Molly’s fingers came to play at the waistband of his sweats. 

“Good. I like that. Care to take these off for me?” Molly rose to his knees and shot Caleb a questioning look. Caleb nodded and lifted his hips and together they stripped him naked. Molly was kneeling in between his legs and slowly ran his hands up and down the outside of his thighs. 

“Now, I’m going to go as slow as you want me too, okay? Anytime you want you can ask me to slow down or stop.” Molly kissed him and grabbed the lube with one hand. He was practically shaking in his joy and excitement. Caleb was trusting him enough to let himself be open and vulnerable with Molly, to let himself be taken in a way that he had been brainwashed to believe was wrong. It was a momentous moment, and Mollymauk needed to be very cautious on how to proceed. He wanted this to be good for Caleb, he wanted Caleb to like this, to want it as much as Molly did. 

He was taking his time kissing over Caleb’s neck and chest, hearing his soft noises and feeling the tension bleed from his body. He popped open the lube and was pleased to feel that Caleb didn’t jump or tense under his mouth. He kissed across his boyfriend’s skin as he squirted a healthy dollop on his hands and warmed it up before slicking his fingers. 

He turned his head and kissed Caleb as he trailed his fingers up and over Caleb’s ass, and slowly brushed a finger over his entrance. 

Caleb felt Molly’s finger, warm and slick with lube, brush over him and he gasped softly. Molly started and pulled away and he reached out to brush his knuckles over Molly’s shoulder. “Don’t stop.” He muttered before kissing his boyfriend. 

“Alright, love.” Molly muttered before returning his hand and moving his finger in a slow circle. Caleb gasped at the new feeling, canting his hips a bit. He wanted this; he wanted this tonight. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, he didn’t know if Trent would give up without a fight or if Astrid would hunt him down and kill him if she got the chance. He didn’t know what was going to happen, and the thought of something bad happening to him before he could share this new thing with Molly made fear clutch at his throat. Before he could voice it, however, Molly gently pressed his finger slowly inside. 

Caleb’s spine arched off the bed gently as he gasped, eyes falling shut at the new feeling of being penetrated. It was slick and warm and firm and alien feeling and Caleb wriggled on the sheets a bit. 

“Too much?” 

“Ah, nein - no. It’s just, it’s just new.” Caleb mumbled, flushing pink. Molly’s finger felt like it went on forever and Caleb keened as he finally felt Molly’s knuckle press against his ass. 

“Good new or bad new?” 

“I…can’t tell yet? Maybe if you start to move?” Caleb suggested. Molly moved slowly, sliding his finger in and out of Caleb slowly. Caleb wriggled his hips again and the change in angle meant that Molly’s finger slipped the last little bit inside. Caleb gasped softly, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Ah, keep going?” He asked. He hand came up to grip Molly’s shoulder as his boyfriend crooked his finger and brushed up against a spot that had Caleb keening high in his throat as pleasure rushed down his spine. Oh, he could see why Molly liked this now. There was a new form of white-hot pleasure that was racing along his spine and curling around his bones. His head fell back against the sheets as Molly touched there again and ripped another whine from him. It felt good, having Molly touch him in such an intimate place. 

“Darling, can I get a color?” Molly asked as he pressed a kiss to the corner of Caleb’s mouth. 

“Green.” Caleb gasped out. “Green.” 

“Good.” Molly kissed him and slowly started to slide a second finger into him. 

It wasn’t long before Molly was three fingers deep, spreading Caleb wide as a flush crept down Caleb’s pale neck. Caleb was writhing on the bed, a sheen of sweat on his temples and chest as he gasped and twitched. Molly was speaking lowly into his ear, whispering all the filthy things that he wanted to do Caleb, how he wanted to fuck Caleb in the shower and on an airplane and how he wanted to cum deep inside of Caleb and leave him leaking and dripping cum for the rest of the day. 

“Mollymauk, please.” Caleb begged, gripping the sheets tightly. He was so wound up he was shaking. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he wanted more. 

“Please what my darling? Do you want me to keep touching you?” Caleb was so beautiful like this; flushed and eyes hazy with pleasure as he chanted Molly’s name with kiss-swollen lips. 

“Ja, yes yes, Mollymauk please.” He was keening softly. 

“I was hoping I could be inside of you soon. I want you to cum but I want you to cum on my cock.” He worked his fingers in and out of Caleb, brushing them over the spot that had his boyfriend tossing his head back and crying out so beautifully. It was a wonderful sight to see and Molly cherished every single moment of it. 

“Yes, Mollymauk please.” Caleb begged. “I want-ah-I want…” 

Molly kissed along Caleb’s jaw, his lovers’ beard tickling his lips. “Tell me what you want darling.” Molly asked, thrilled beyond words that Caleb was using the word ‘want’. 

Caleb spoke, his voice low and accent thick. “I want you inside of me.” 

“Oh Caleb darling, of course.” Molly kissed him before sliding his hand out of Caleb and rising to his knees. He moved to kneel between Caleb’s legs, and ran his hands up Caleb’s thighs, spreading them for him. Caleb’s legs parted with ease as his boyfriend nodded. 

“I’m gonna go slow okay?” Molly asked as he found the lube. He slicked himself up and positioned himself at Caleb’s entrance. He reached out and threaded the fingers of his clean hand with Caleb’s. 

“Can you, ah, get closer?” Caleb asked. “I want you here.” He patted his chest. 

“Of course my love.” Molly moved so he was hovering over Caleb, his weight on his elbows. He kissed Caleb gently and his lover made a happy noise. Caleb threaded his fingers into Molly’s hair and opened his mouth sweetly for Molly. 

Molly eased the head of his cock inside of Caleb and shuddered. His lover was hot and slick around him and Caleb was making the sweetest noises against his open mouth. He was shaking and gasping under Molly, keening as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Easy love.” Molly gasped, his own voice rough. “Easy, my love.” He felt the head of his cock slip fully into his lover and gently rock his hips. “Just like this, there we go, nice and easy now.” 

Caleb was falling apart. Molly’s cock felt strange as if breached him but he kept his hips up anyway. He wanted to share this with Molly. He wanted Molly to have this, right now. Molly slowly started rocking his hips and Caleb gasped, body jerking slightly. 

“Caleb? Can I get a color?” Molly asked, stilling his hips. 

“Grun.” Caleb asked, slipping into German. “Gut, so good.” He babbled softly, tucking his face in Molly’s neck. “Don’t stop?” 

“Oh darling I have no intention of stopping. I’m gonna make you feel so good.” Molly rocked his hips slowly and gently. Caleb let go of Molly’s hand to clutch at his shoulders. Molly reached down to guide Caleb’s legs over his hips, allowing him to sink the last few inches inside. His hips were pressed against Caleb’s ass. He was sheathed inside of Caleb and he couldn’t help but marvel at this feeling. 

“I love you Caleb Widogast.” He muttered as he stilled his hips. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He was chanting it as he waited. “Let me know when I can move, my darling.” He pushed himself up and risked a glance at Caleb’s face. 

Caleb’s eyes were open but they were unfocused, staring at a point a million miles away. His blowjob-swollen lips were parted softly and his hands were convulsing on Molly’s shoulders. Under Molly, he gave his hips a little wriggle and Molly whined, dropping his head. 

“Ah-easy darling. It’s been a while since I’ve topped.” He gasped. He was shaking with the effort of holding himself still. 

“Mollymauk, move please?” Caleb gasped, his voice soft and close to Molly’s ear. Molly didn’t reply; he just pulled his hips back and slowly fucked into his lover. 

He went slowly and gently first, friction eased by the lube. Caleb was making soft little noises in the back of his throat but Molly wanted him wrecked. He tilted his hips and the angle caused Caleb to cry out softly, his fingers clutching at Molly’s shoulders. Molly didn’t stop, rocking into his lover over and over and over again, a slow, prideful grin spreading across his face. 

Sweat was clinging to Caleb’s temples and his neck, making his red hair cling to his skin. Molly kissed along the tracks of sweat as he fucked into Caleb. 

Caleb was starting to babble in German and Molly preened with pride. He rose onto his knees and Caleb’s hands fell to his hips. 

“Just wait darling, we’re no where near done.” He grinned. “I can go for miles.” He slowly started rocking his hips, looking for his boyfriend’s prostate. He knew he found it when Caleb jolted on the bed and cried out, hands coming to clench at the sheets. 

“There we go, that’s what I wanna see Caleb. I wanna see you just like that. Let yourself feel good for me baby, I wanna see you, I wanna hear you.” Molly crooned. He slid his hand down to grab Caleb’s dick with the hand that was still covered in lube. 

Caleb’s whole body jerked and he clenched around Molly’s cock, making the purple-haired man moan deep in his chest. He worked his hand up and down Caleb’s length as he fucked his boyfriend. 

This was like nothing Caleb had ever known. Molly was working his body in such a way that lightening was shooting down his spine and making his toes curl in the sheets. Noises were coming out of him unbidden and he was shaking where he lay. He hooked his legs around Molly’s hips and clutched as his free hand with his own. He threaded his fingers with Molly’s as the jewelry on Molly’s cock rubbed against him in such a way his eyes rolled back in his head.   
He could hear Molly talking but it was hard to hear his lover over the pounding of his own heart. Molly’s thumb brushed over the head of his cock just as the ring in the head of his dick brushed against his prostate. He arched off the bed, crying out and clutching at Molly with his hand. 

“Close. Mollymauk, close.” He manged to gasp as he fell back on the sheets. 

“So am I. I want you to cum for me darling, I want you to cum on my cock.” Molly was in paradise; Caleb was finally letting himself feel good, he was finally letting himself be pampered and letting himself get fucked. It was a beautiful sight and Mollymauk couldn’t rip his eyes away from it. 

“Mollymauk I’m-I’m.” Caleb’s whole body was tensing up and Molly could tel that Caleb was about to cum. His own breath was catching in his throat as his hips went uneven. 

“Cum for me baby, I wanna see you cum.” Molly gasped and ran the pad of his thumb over the underside of Caleb’s cock. 

His lover broke, shaking and clenching on Molly’s cock as he finally came. Caleb’s seed landed on his collarbone and chest, as his eyes rolled back in his head. The noises spilling from him made Molly’s cock throb as the dam holding back his own pleasure finally broke. 

He groaned out Calebs’ name as he threw his head back, rutting his hips as deep into Caleb as he could get. He wanted to mark his lover inside and out, to leave Caleb dripping with seed and he did so. He ended up winded and laying on top of Caleb. He didn’t care about the seed that was squished between them or that he was shaking like a leaf. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and rolled them both to the side. 

Caleb groaned softly and wrapped his arms around Molly, tangling his legs with his boyfriend’s. They lay like that for a long while, wrapped up in each other’s bodies. Caleb said nothing; he just tucked his head into Molly’s neck and kissed his damp skin softly. Molly’s hand tangled in his hair and held him close. 

“That was……” Molly’s voice trailed off into a slightly dreamy chuckle. 

“Ja.” Caleb croaked, voice hoarse and throat dry. 

“What did you think?” Molly asked. “You like it?” 

Caleb made a contented noise and just pressed his face closer into Molly’s neck. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Molly chuckled. He pressed a kiss to Caleb’s temple and held his lover close. 

“Ah, that was, ah.” Caleb tried to grasp at the English. “Good. I liked it very much.” 

“I’m glad. For the record I will gladly do this with you whenever.” Molly said. “Gladly. Happily in fact. I will happily make love to you whenever you want.” 

Caleb couldn’t help but chuckle a tiny bit. He wrapped his arms around Molly and stretched, hissing softly as Molly’s soft cock slipped from him. 

“I am not sure I will do this often. But it is a good feeling.”

“Caleb, I wanted to thank you.” Molly said as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “This was a big step for you, and I’m so thankful you trusted me enough to make love to you.” 

“You are very welcome Mollymauk. It only felt natural.” Caleb replied. Molly was patient and loved him. Why would he bother looking at anyone else when he had everything he needed right here in his arms? 

“We need to clean up. We have an early morning so we best be getting to bed.” At the mention of the morrow Caleb tensed in his arms. “I know it’s going to be scary darling, but I’ll be right there with you.” 

“I know. That is what scares me Molly.” Caleb confessed. “If anything happens to you…” 

“Nothing will happen to me darling. We’re going with the best of the best. I sincerely doubt that they will let any harm come to us.” Molly pressed a kiss to the corner of Caleb’s mouth and pulled away. He quickly headed into the bathroom and got a clean ran. It didn’t take much for him to clean them both off and he was right back to cuddling his lover. He set his phone alarm for the early morning and turned off the lamps. He left the tv on mute as Caleb crawled into bed, naked. 

“Oh yeah you’re sleeping naked tonight. Yummy.” Molly remarked as he tucked himself under the sheets. He wrapped his body around Caleb’s and made sure to kiss his boyfriend good night before tucking his arms around Caleb’s form and falling asleep to the flickering television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I'm back. It feels good to be back. We're nearing the end of this fic so keep turned. This is the longest thing I have ever written so bear with me folks. As always, kudos and comments feed the plot bunnies. Find me on twitter at MeBeThem4815 and on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll.


	24. The End

The waiting was the worst part. Not the getting up before the sun, the drinking of coffee and the scarfing of donuts in the back of a crowded van, sitting in the van and watching people tumble out of the other vans as they were dressed in armor and holding guns, no the worst was sitting and watching the live feeds. 

A few of the soldiers had cameras on their helmets and they were streaming live footage back to the van. The moment the gates to the compound appeared Caleb averted his gaze. Molly sat and watching the whole thing, from start to end, while holding onto Caleb’s hand. Thankfully there was no sound; the people monitoring the situation wore headsets. 

Molly held Caleb’s hand the whole time, watching as gunfire broke out. He watched people that Caleb knew die; mowed down by professionals when they refused to give up. More than one solider of their own was wounded. Caleb’s people were good shots.  
In the end Caleb’s people gave up. Trent Ikathon was arrested and people were starting to gather the bodies when Molly squeezed Caleb’s hand gently. 

“It’s over.” He said softly. Caleb’s gaze lifted to the screens and he locked eyes on the one that showed Trent kneeling on the ground, hands in zipties, blood pouring from a wound on his scalp. 

“They caught him.” Caleb muttered. He rose to his feet and dropped Molly’s hand, getting closer to the screen. 

“You’re safe now.” Molly reached out and gently ran his hand over Caleb’s arm. Caleb said nothing. He just turned his hand around and laced his fingers with Molly. The purple-haired man smiled softly; he knew that Caleb would be okay from that simple gesture.  
The door to the van opened and the early morning sunlight flooded the van, hitting Caleb square on and making him wince. There was Fields in body armor carrying a massive gun. 

“We’re ready for you Caleb.” Caleb stood there, lit but the weak but bright and clear morning sunlight and nodded. He knew what he had to do. He could hear crying and wailing from where he stood and he knew that he had a job to do. He left the van, Molly coming with him. He didn’t let go of his lover’s hand as they worked their way past the medical tents where Dr. Trickfoot was working with some people already. Their heads turned and tracked Caleb, and Molly noted that not all of the faces were friendly. 

Caleb was led to the open gates and he wanted to hesitate. He wanted to stop and panic and flee but he forced himself to keep going. His mind, always perfectly clear and correct, recalled a quote from A Game of Thrones and he smiled softly, knowing now that Ned was right; the only time a man can be brave is when he’s terrified out of his mind. 

They followed Fields through the gates and there was a cry. “Jacob!” There was a commotion from where the survivors were being held and a small black woman broke from the ranks and ran to Caleb. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. 

She was dressed in a plain cotton dress; it had long sleeves and a full hem and it was very unflattering. Her hair was covered by a cloth and she freed a hand to rip it from her hair. 

“Lucy.” Caleb wrapped his arms around her tightly. “It’s Caleb.”

“Hello Caleb, I’m Danica.” She said, smiling. She pulled back and beamed at him. “I knew you could do it. If anyone could figure out how to take him down I knew it would be you.” 

“It wasn’t just me.” Caleb muttered. “I had help.” He reached out and threaded his fingers with Molly’s. “This is Mollymauk Tealeaf.” 

“Hi there. You must be Caleb’s wife.” Molly said. Danica beamed and shook Molly’s hand in greeting. 

“Speaking of, Jacob Lifebringer, I want a divorce.” 

“So do I. We are agreed?” 

“Yes, we are.” 

Caleb let go of Molly’s hand and took off his wedding ring as Danica slid hers off. Caleb pocketed his as Danica threw hers as far into the wild as she could. She laughed some more and spun around in a circle, arms wide. She was as bone-thin as Caleb was when he first got to the cafe and it sparked a worry in Molly. 

“Danica, where are the children?” Caleb asked.

“This way. Miss Danica, will you please go sit with the others to be processed?” Fields asked. He was imposing even with his helmet off but Danica wasn’t impressed. She stood firm and held her ground, looking Fields dead in the eyes.

“Yeah yeah, don’t get your panties in a knot I’m going.” Danica smiled at Caleb and Molly one last time before moving and sitting with the others. None of the other women talked to her, and they were in fact glaring at either Danica or Caleb. Molly got a distinct feeling that Caleb wasn’t wanted here. 

Molly and Caleb were led past a line of bodies. Most of them were covered in tarps, but there were some at the end that hadn’t been covered yet. They were a gruesome sight; high caliber bullets are not kind to flesh when they make contact. Caleb inhaled softly and broke free from Molly’s grip to kneel in the dirt besides a body.  
It was a man whose features were disfigured by blood and dirt, but Caleb knew him. He stood next to the body and shook his head. 

“I do not see his wife.” He said. “Molly if she is free..” 

“We won’t be thinking about that.” Molly said quickly, stepping forward and grabbing Caleb’s hands. He looked down at the body and recognized the man from the Cafe a a while back; he has said his name was Aeodwulf. “I’m sure that she hasn’t run away. She doesn’t seem to be the type. So she’s here but she’s either alive or dead. We’ll find out later.” He said. He started to lead Caleb away from the line of bodies and his boyfriend followed. Molly suspected that they would be having a long talk on the phone with Vex after this.

Caleb noticed the glares from the people who used to be family but kept his head high as Fields took him to the children’s area. Dr. Clay was sitting on the ground, smiling softly as some of the younger children were playing with him. The older ones sat stiffer to the sides, clearly wanting to join in but not knowing if it was okay. More then one was being held tight by a concerned mother, keeping the children from going anywhere near close to the pink-haired outsider. The young children looked up and broke into wide smiles. 

“Jacob!” They said at once and rose to their feet. They were twins, a boy and a girl, with the same white-blonde hair and big brown eyes. There was a kerfuffle from the other children and more than one slipped away and Caleb ended up being hugged by various children who were all talking at once, in the way that excited children do. Even the ones that weren’t clinging to his boyfriend like vines were squirming, trying to get out of their mother’s grip. 

“Jacob where were you?!” 

“We thought you were never ever ever coming back ever!” 

“I missed you Jacob!”

Caleb couldn’t help but smile and the kids gasped, ducking their head. 

“No, it’s alright.” Caleb knelt down on the ground. “I have spent the last few months outside and it is not as the Ikathon said. It is a good world. It is strange to be sure, but it is so full of good people. He was wrong. You can smile and laugh all you like. It is fine do to so.” He said to the children. Molly just stood in the back, smiling to himself. Caleb really had come a long way and it was wonderful to see the changes in his lover. There was a tug on his shirt and he looked down to see the young girl twin tugging at his clothing. 

“You’re dressed funny.” She said. Molly laughed softly and she giggled a tiny bit. 

“Because I’m a funny person. My name’s Mollymauk.” He knelt down to her level and her eyes went wide when she saw his hair. 

“Hi Mollymauk. I’m Esther.” 

“Hi Esther. How old are you?”

“I’m four.”  
“You’re four! You’re nearly a big girl now. Where’s your mommy?” He asked. Esther turned and pointed to the row of bodies. “And where’s your daddy?” She pointed again to the row of bodies and Molly’s heart broke. These kids were alone. He rose to his feet and picked up the little girl, tucking her onto his hip. Caleb was standing again, holding the boy twin as the rest of the children were called by by their mothers. 

“Caleb, they don’t have parents.” Molly said softly. He balanced the little girl on his hips and reached out with his free hand for Caleb’s hand. 

“Ja. I know.” Caleb reached out and threaded his fingers with Molly’s.

“We’re going to see if we can find some sort of foster arrangement with the kids.” Fields explained. “Half of them are either single parents or orphans now. They went down fighting.” He glanced to the line of bodies again. This time there were people with clipboard writing slips of paper and sticking it on the tarps and then people with body bags coming by. Caleb had no idea what has going on there. 

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Molly asked. “These kids are going to be fu-messed up.” He said. 

“I’ll see what can be done.” He said. Esther wriggled on his hip and he put her down and she went back to Clay who had a butterfly on his hand. Caleb eased down her twin brother and he went back to play. 

“Fields, have you found her yet?” Caleb asked. Fields nodded. 

“She’s still fighting. We had to sedate her to keep her from harming us or herself.” He turned, nodding his head in a clear ‘follow me’ gesture. 

“I’m not surprised.” Caleb muttered. Fields led them back through the medical tent, Dr. Trickfoot working her magic on the patients who would let an outsider touch them.  
There was one man who was getting stitches in his shoulder who outright glared at Caleb as they approached. When they passed him he tripped Caleb with his foot and sent him crashing to the ground. He took the chance to spit on him before the nurse shoved him back. 

“Traitor!” He hissed. 

“Hey man what the fuck!” Molly snapped as he helped Caleb to his feet. 

“Alexander, I am not sorry for what I have done.” Caleb said as he wiped the spit from his face with a shudder.

“You will be. Oh you will be. You and that pretty little toy of yours too. We know. Astrid was watching you. When they came back they told us what you were. You’re a dead man, Jacob.” He broke into a wide smile and the nurse just sighed. 

“Sir, sit down and shut up.” She said before jabbing him with the needle again. 

“C’mon Caleb, let’s go.” Molly eased his lover away from him and followed Fields into a second, smaller tent. 

There were beds in this tent, four of them. There were beeping machines and the sounds of generators and there was the distinct smell of antiseptic and the sight of IV’s hanging from racks. Only different was that most field hospitals don’t have the patients handcuffed to the bed. Fields led them right to the back bed and pulled back the curtains. 

There was Astrid, with dirty hair, hands filthy, face dirty, handcuffed to the bed, with bandages around her middle. She was pale and staring off into space. She saw Caleb and started to cry.  
“Jacob. Jacob please.” She reached out to him as best as she could; the handcuffs stopped her. “Please. Wulf is dead. I have no husband and the Ikathon was taken. Please marry me. I’ll be a good wife. I’ll give you children. Please Jacob, marry me.” She was crying now, hair sticking to her face as tears cleared track of dirt on her skin. She was a mess and it was clear she was out of her mind on painkillers and drugs. 

She just kept her arms out, pleading for him silently. 

“Keep her locked up. Don’t allow her to be unwatched. She is more clever than you know.” He told Fields before grabbing Molly’s hand and leaving the tent. The moment he turned Astrid started sobbing and the machines started making angry beeping noises. Molly quickly followed Caleb’s lead as the nurses rushed in, chewing out Fields for disrupting a patient. 

Caleb headed over to a copse of trees and quickly turned to face the wild, planing his back to the tree. The moment Molly was close he turned and grabbed him, using his boyfriend to block out the world for a moment. His face was tucked into Molly’s neck with his nose resting right on the spot where Molly’s collarbone met with his neck. Molly’s hands came up to tangle in his hair and scratch lightly at his scalp as Caleb clutched at Molly’s hips. Molly smelled liked his deodorant and the fabric softener that he used and a faint hint of weed and cigarette smoke. It was a distinctive smell for Caleb and it helped calm him down at once. 

“How are you feeling?” Molly asked his lover. 

“I…ah…do not quite know yet?” Caleb replied. 

“Well, let’s take it slowly. How are you feeling right now?” 

“Scared. Overwhelmed. Concerned. Worried.” 

“Let’s tackle that laundry-style okay? Let’s go for fear. What’s got you scared?” 

“Astrid.” He said without a second thought. 

“Well, let’s consider this. She’s badly hurt, chained to a hospital bed, under constant watch. I don’t think she’s able to hurt you darling.” 

“Ja, my logical brain knows that. But the rest of me….” He sighed. 

“I understand. I call it the bad brain. We all got one. Yours is just very vocal right now.” Molly gave his boyfriend a squeeze. “What else is there?” 

“I have to see him.”

Molly froze under Caleb’s arms and turned his head softly. 

“Are you sure?” His voice was measured and cautious.

“Ja. I am sure.” He took a deep breath and pressed himself as close to Molly as he could. “I will not be able to move on until I do, I think.” 

“Well alright then. I’m sure that can happen.” Molly muttered. “Alright, let’s move on to concerned.”

Caleb took a moment to inhale softly and count to ten, as Vex had instructed him too. By the time he hit ten he knew exactly how to phrase his thoughts. 

“I am concerned about the children, especially the twins. They do not have parents and I do not know where they will go.” 

“I’m concerned about them too. Foster care isn’t kind and isn’t what they need right now.” He muttered, an idea blooming in his mind. “Hey, why don’t we take them?” 

Caleb froze in his arms and pulled back, blinking a bit. “What?” 

“Yeah. You and I. We can be dads.” Molly said, smiling. 

“Molly, think about it. We have not been together for more than a month. I think adopting two small children is not what we need.” He stated. 

“I never said adopt. I said take them. We can foster them for a little while. We can convert the reading room into a bedroom for them. I can change my living room around so I can do my readings in there. With your income from the cafe and mine from my readings we will totally be able to support two kids. Plus we have Jester and Yasha and the others for support.” Molly explained a soft smile on his face. “Caleb, you know that they’re gonna need special care, and who better to guide them through it then two people who have already been through it?”  
The last point caused Caleb’s mind to relax and for Molly’s reasoning to finally work through the wall of worry that he had put up on instinct. He made a soft noise in his throat and held Molly close. 

“You have a point.” He muttered. “Plus Vex will no doubt be willing to recommend a good person who deals with children.” He had no doubt in his mind that the rest of the people at the Cafe would welcome the children with open arms. He figured that he would have to fight Jester for custody of the twins. 

“This is a big step Caleb, are you sure?” Molly asked softly. 

“Ja. I am. Like you said it is not forever, just until they get stable.” He said. 

“Exactly. It’s not forever.” Molly said, content with the knowledge that the twins would be cared for and safe. “As soon as we get permission I’ll call Jester. She’s gonna be thrilled.” 

“It might be a good idea for her and Beau and Yasha to get the bedroom ready for them.” Caleb muttered. 

“Also there’s shopping to be done.” Molly mused. “We need books and toys and real clothing.” 

“Vaccinations. I wonder if Dr. Trickfoot can do them here.” 

They continued to plot until Fields interrupted them. He sighed softly and then spoke into his shoulder radio. 

“Found them. Call off the search.” He turned to them and shook his head. “You two vanished. Don’t do that again. Come on.” He jerked his head back to the camp. 

“I’m glad you’re here Fields, we have a favor to ask of you.” Caleb said gently, peeling away from Molly. 

“And what’s that?” He asked, moving at a brisk pace. Caleb moved to keep up with him and Molly saw his body language change. 

“The twins, Esau and Esther, they are orphans, yes? I do not think that being exposed to the foster care system would be good for them. I propose that Molly and I take the twins for a while. We already have a place to live, two steady jobs, and family that can help us.” He said. 

“Plus it’s not like they can fall through the cracks of the system if they’re living with Caleb.” Molly spoke up. “He’s in contact with you guys.” 

“You two have a point. Privately I agree with you. If it was up to me we’d be helping you two get them on their feet. But it’s not up to me, it’s up to my boss. He’s got the authority to override the red tape and give you legal custody.” Fields explained as they entered back into the compound. The chaos was more settled now, and Dr. Trickfoot was among the children, with a cup of coffee in one hand, talking to a mother and taking notes with her other hand. 

“There is one more thing. I need to see Trent Ikathon.” Caleb said. That brought Fields to a stop. He turned and pushed his glasses up, pinning Caleb with his unique stare. Caleb lifted his chin and met his gaze, holding his shoulders back and his head high. It was a confident pose but Molly could see how his hands were shaking just before Caleb clenched them into fists. 

“Why?”

“It must be done. I have to speak to him.” Caleb said. 

Fields said nothing, he just gave Caleb a measured look. “Come with me. I know where he’s being kept.” He turned heel and headed off toward a different part of the compound. It was a squat brown building with two guns crossed over a cowskull above the doorway. Fields pushed the doors open and inside was some sort of meeting hall. Tables lined the room and had been taken over by maps and guns and supplies and plans and tech people taking apart computers that Caleb didn’t know had existed in the Compound among other things. Winters had taken the high table at the top and was using it as a command station. 

“We used to take our meals here. Trent would sit up there, where Winters is sitting.” Caleb explained to the other men as Fields let him through the main hall and into the kitchens.  
They went through the kitchens to a back door and down a set of spiral staircases. It was cold and dry down here and led down a tunnel that was lined with cells. 

“Ah, the holding pen. Good idea.” Caleb was glad they had put him here and not in the dark cells. He wouldn’t have been able to go down there.  
Trent was in one of the cells, hands bound, head bandaged, blood on his shirt and in the lines of his face where he hadn’t been totally cleaned off. 

“Ah, Jacob. There you are. I was wondering when I would see you again.” He said. Caleb held his head high and took a step forward. 

“It’s Caleb, actually.” Caleb protested. “And I just wanted to see you. I had to make sure that you were actually here.” And to confront his demons. He was sure Vex would be proud of him right now and he didn’t know quite how to feel about that. 

“Well here I am. Laid low by your deeds. You’re brought my life’s work crashing down. Are you happy now?” Trent asked. “I took you in, I saved you, and this is how you repay me Jacob?” 

“My name is Caleb Widogast. You did not save me, you kidnapped me, tortured me, broke me, and manipulated me. You made me kill my family and murder a friend. You made me do unspeakable things. You are reaping your have sown.” Caleb said firmly. 

Molly’s heart soared with pride as Caleb spoke. He knew that this was a major moment for his lover and he stood in the shadows, happy to let Caleb have his moment. Molly could tell that Caleb was scared; he could see it in the set of his shoulders and how his fists were shaking softly. But Caleb held his head high as he turned away from the man in the cage. 

“DON’T YOU DARE TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, BOY!” Trent bellowed, his voice echoing around the room. He forced his shoulders back and Molly could see how Caleb could be scared of this man. Caleb didn’t respond, he just walked up the steps as Trent continued to holler. Molly quickly followed with Fields on his tail. Caleb was walking at a brisk pace and Molly had to jog a bit to catch up. 

“Hey, hey darling, everything alright?” Molly asked, grabbing his elbow. 

“Ja.” Caleb said, turning to Molly. “That was…better then I thought.” 

“I think the fact he was handcuffed and behind bars helped.” 

“Ja that did help I am not going to lie, but I think the fact that I am going home with you helps.” He admitted. “I will never have to see that man again.” 

“Except in court.” Fields said. 

“Ja, but that is court. It is not here.” Caleb gestured to the Compound around them. 

“Fair.I’ll talk to my boss about you two getting custody of the twins and get it done. Go bond with them for a bit. I’ll be back. We might be leaving soon. Keep on your toes.” With that he stalked off. 

“Everything alright darling?” He asked. 

“Ja. Mollymauk, yes. Everything is alright.” Caleb turned to him, calm and smiling softly. 

“Holy shit, we’re gonna be dads!” Molly gasped, turning to Caleb, his face wide in a grin. He was laughing and beaming with joy. 

“Ja. We shall be fathers.” Caleb agreed. “If only for a little while.” 

Molly wrapped him up in a hug and held him close. Caleb was stiff in his arms but slowly wrapped his own around Molly. “Thanks for being willing to do this with me.” Molly whispered into his ear. 

“Thank you for being willing to make room in your life for people that I care about.” He said, voice harsh and accent thick. He clutched at Molly’s shirt softly before letting go. Molly let got and made sure Caleb wasn’t crying before bounding off to the twins with Caleb following.

Caleb watched as he sat right by Ether who smiled at him. Caleb made his way over to Esau and sat near the young boy. 

“I have good news, Esau. You and your sister shall come stay with Mollymauk and I for a little bit.” He said. “We live in a place called Los Angeles. It is very strange but I think you will like it. There are lots of things to do. And we have family that will be happy to meet you.” 

The child looked up and him before climbing into his lap and curling up there, falling asleep. Caleb watched Molly braid Ether’s hair, smiling. He was breaking the taboos with her already; the braids had been only for unmarried girls who were past puberty. He was giving her a far too adult hairstyle and he could hear the mothers muttering. Caleb said nothing, just sitting there with the sleeping child on his lap. 

It had been in an intense day and he was already tired. He was hungry as well. He was startled to realize that he was admitting, if at least to himself, that he was hungry and tired. That wouldn’t have been allowed. 

He hoped that because Esau and Esther were still young they missed the worst of it. He hoped that they had been spared by their age. He watched as Molly was taught a clapping game by Esther as Dr. Trickfoot worked her way over to him. 

“Hello Caleb.” She said. “I was told you’re getting legal custody of these two.” 

“Ja. Mollymauk and I. For a little while.” He said softly. 

“Good. I’m glad it’s you two. I was worried. I would have offered up my own home but I’m not there very often.” She explained. “You said that none of the children were vaccinated?”  
“None. And they will be malnourished. Our food varied through the seasons.” 

“That explains how small they are.” 

“Ja. At least they got plenty of sunshine.” 

“That’s good. I’ll bring over the basic vaccinations and we can get started on catching them up. I have a…friend in Los Angeles I can stay with for a bit. I can help you two for a while with the medical things.” She offered. 

“Oh, we cannot impose on you like that I am sure that someone knows a good pediatrician.” Caleb protested. 

“Caleb, these two are a special case. It’s going to take more than what your average doctor can handle, but you can always get a second opinion.” She said. 

“Are you sure you are willing to stay in Los Angeles?” He asked. 

“Yes. Like I said I have a very good friend there. A large group of them, actually. I can stay with any one of them.” 

“Ah that is good. We all need friends in this world.” He said, thinking of Beau and Jester and Nott and the others. “If you do not mind, there are some texts I need to send off.”  
“Of course. I’ll get going on the shots.” She sighed and rising to her full (if tiny) height. 

“Ja. Again, thank you Doctor Trickfoot.” 

“Please, call me Pike.” 

“Alright. Thank you Pike.” 

“Oh you’re welcome Caleb.” She said before heading off with a large pull of her coffee. 

Caleb eased his phone out from under a passed out Esau (which was surprisingly easy) and sent a message to the group chat. 

_Caleb: So we might be bringing home two children. A boy and a girl. We already have a doctor who will be coming with us to catch them up on their health._

_Jester: Omg what? Caleb, you and Molly are gonna be dads?_

_Beau: Congratulations, I think?_

_Caleb: Yes, congratulations. We need to get the reading room in Molly’s apartment ready for use as a bedroom._

_Nott: Caleb are you moving in with him too?_

_Caleb: Yes, if we get full custody I have to move in. I cannot leave Molly alone to help raise two traumatized children._

_Nott: That’s very noble of you Caleb_

_Caleb: Thank you very much Nott. That means quite a bit, coming from you._

Caleb smiled softly as Jester sent back a bunch of crying and heart emojis. 

_Beau: Caleb’s right, we need to get their place ready_

_Fjord: We can shut down the Cafe for a while to help move stuff about_

_Nott: Oh and what are you gonna do exactly?_

The chat quickly devolved into Fjord and Nott sniping at each other and Caleb was glad he had the chat muted. He put his phone down to find Molly staring at him. 

“And what are you staring at, Mr. Mollymauk?” He asked, smiling softly to let Molly know he wasn’t mad. 

“I’m staring at a very handsome, very brave man.” His lover replied. 

“You must be staring at someone other than me.” Caleb said bitterly. 

“You stop that. That the man I love you’re talking about.” Molly said softly. Esther was in his lap playing with his mala beads and not having any interest in this adult conversation. His point shut Caleb up with a resigned sigh. 

“You must get better taste in men, then.” He couldn’t help but reply. Molly reached out and was just able to brush his fingers over Caleb’s thigh.

“Stop that. I love you and that’s negative self-talk, and Caleb we talked about this.” Molly replied softly. Caleb reached out and threaded his fingers with Molly’s. 

“Ja.” He took a deep breath. “I am sorry Mollymauk.” 

“No need to be sorry, my darling.” Molly leaned over and kissed the back of his knuckles. Caleb smiled softly and told Molly all about Dr. Trickfoot’s plan and he was soothed by it. He also popped into the group chat and confirmed plans with Yasha and the others to clear out his place tomorrow. It didn’t much convincing; Nott was already planning on getting supplies and clothes and Jester was super excited to have two kids to watch. 

They stayed like that, sitting in the grass like a family at the park, until Fields came over and confirmed that they had been granted temporary custody and that two children’s tickets to LA had been added to their own tickets back home. 

“The vans are going to start heading back to town. You four should get on one.” He turned and walked away, joining Winter who was speaking to a group of people. 

“Esau, time to get up.” He said, shaking the child awake. The child blinked a bit before grumping as Caleb stood. He lifted the boy onto his hip and petting his hair. “Now you can go back to sleeping.” And the child did so, wrapping his chubby arms around Caleb’s neck. Molly picked up Ether and bounced her on his hip as they headed back to the car. 

“We’re gonna need clothing and toys and snacks and kids toothbrushes and oh my God.” Molly gasped softly. 

“Ja. Maude can help us. She knows all the mothers and I do not think hand-me-downs are a bad idea for right now.” Caleb suggested as the joined a small party of people.  
“Thank God for small-town hospitality.” Molly mused softly. “She weighs far too little.” 

“I know. And this is them with the summer fat on. In early spring they are nothing but skin and bones.” 

“Early spring? Not winter?” 

“Early spring is the hungry time.” Caleb said in a softly haunted voice. He remembered being skinny with hunger and seeing the soft green sprouts and knowing that they were running very low on their winter stores but it was still far too early for any kind of harvest. He turned his head and held Esau closer, knowing that now the twins wouldn’t have to suffer that ever again. 

“Hunh. That’s new.” Molly grinned. 

The group started getting loaded into the vans and they ended up squished together in the middle seat of a van with the kids on their lap. Molly gently reached over and put his hand on Caleb’s knee and gave it a soft squeeze. Caleb let go of the sleeping child and covered Molly’s hand with his own. Molly turned his hand over to thread his fingers with Caleb’s and felt Caleb squeeze his hand in return. He smiled softly and chatted with Esther to keep the precocious child entertained on the way back to town. 

There was something new starting to bloom in Caleb’s chest as he watched the wild go by on their way back to civilization. It was soft and warm and sweet, like an the promise of an early morning in the dead of summer. It was bright and Caleb found himself wanting to nurture this feeling, to help it grow. He heard Molly seeing if Esther knew her numbers and couldn’t help but smile. It was a soft domestic feeling, a kind of contentment that he hadn’t really felt before. It glowed deep in his chest during the ride back, only growing stronger. It scared Caleb a bit, but he had a feeling that as long as Mollymauk was with him it would be alright. 

The van came to a stop and the doors slid open. People started to tumble out as Caleb caught glimpses of people standing around nearby. He could see Maude and a few others waiting, holding things like toys and blankets and books and food. They kept watching and waiting for children or survivors to come out and when Molly and Caleb emerged there was a soft muttering sound through the crowd.

“Ah, Maude there you are. I was hoping I would find you. We ah, we could use some help.” Caleb admitted, heading over to her with just-woken-up Easu. He was rubbing at his eyes and saw Maude and tucked his face into Jacob’s chest. A soft worried expression flitted across the woman’s face and she nodded. 

“I bet you need help honey. I know exactly what you need, I’ll get the phone tree going. Meanwhile Tony was gently handing Esther a doll and the little girl was eyeing the Tony with the look of reproachful suspicion that only a four year old can manage. 

“Here.” A woman said, passing Caleb a blanket and a stuffed bear. He wrapped the blanket around his arm before gently trying to hand Esau the bear. The little boy kept his hands to himself, looking up at Caleb. 

“Esau, gifts do not come with a price out here. The Ikathon is gone. He doesn’t have control over you anymore, ja?” He asked. Esau nodded softly before gently reached out and touching the bear with one hand. He quietly gripped the arm before hugging it close to his chest. Caleb smiled softly, knowing that it was a good sign. Maybe there was hope for the kids after all. He glanced over to Esther, who was still refusing to take the doll.

“Esther, it is fine to take a gift. The Ikathon was wrong about gifts.” Caleb muttered, walking over to his lover and the little girl. 

“Don’t want that. Want that.” She pointed to a robot toy that turned into a car or an airplane or something, Caleb wasn’t sure what. 

“Oh sweet! Bumble Bee! You got good taste kid.” He said, moving his hip so the little girl could take the Transformer toy and cuddle it close to her chest. Molly reached out with his free hand and laced his fingers with Caleb’s. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel, darling.” He suggested. Caleb nodded, wanted to be in the shelter of the room with Molly. He wanted to be away from the prying eyes of well-meaning onlookers.  
“I’ll be by with food and stuff for the children. Don’t worry.” Maude said with a gentle hand on Caleb’s elbow. Normally touches from people made him crawl but Maude’s touch didn’t make his spine prickle. 

“Danke Maude.” He sighed softly. “Danke.” 

Together they made their way to the hotel in silence. Esther yawned wide and cradled the yellow toy and fell asleep against Molly’s neck. 

“They’ve had a big day.” He said, fishing out his wallet as they approached the hotel. 

“Ja. Their whole lives have changed. I hope we did not get to them too late.” 

“They’re kids. Kids are remarkably bouncy.” 

“I hope you mean that as a metaphor Mollymauk.” 

“Of course I do, darling.” Molly unlocked the door and eased it open. Caleb headed inside as Molly held the door open and eased the sleeping boy onto the bed. Molly eased his sister onto the bed next to him and the two just curled into each other. 

“Well. We’ve got kids.” Molly said, as he shut the door. “Can you fucking believe it?” He asked, laughing softly. “We’re dads! Okay, I want to be papa.”

“Molly this is just temporary.” Caleb said as he eased off his shoes. 

“I know. But let me have this Caleb.” 

“You really want a family that much?” 

“I adore kids. And honestly I never wanted a family before until you.” Molly pulled off his shirt and belt and started tackling his boots. He sat on a chair so as not to disturb the children as Caleb sat in the other chair. 

“I never thought a family was in my future at all to be quite honest. I never imagined this. With anyone.” Caleb’s mind couldn’t help but flit to the fire and to his parents screams as Trent led him away in the cold winter night, but managed to pull himself away before falling down that rabbit hole.

“Well, now you have it with me. Even if only for a little while.” He reached out and threaded his hand with Caleb as he finally kicked off his boots. He wriggled his toes as he held Caleb’s hand.  
“Ja, if only for a little while.” Caleb said, giving his hand a squeeze.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, find me on tumblr at matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll and on twitter at mebeshe4815. Kudos and comments feed the plot bunnies.


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